It was a rare occasion indeed when Dave Strider felt remotely upset about anything. After all, he was too cool to be phased by most things. He could handle insults, dirty looks, even one sided shouting matches with Karkat, it never truly bothered him.

But now. . . Now for the first time in years, as Dave slid down the wall outside his apartment he felt tears prick at his eyes. But he would not cry.

Dave Strider didn't cry, he was simply too cool for that.

Stumbling back to his feet and re-arranging his shades, he strode off to the stairs and up onto the roof where he could be alone. With a sigh he pulled off his shades and rubbed at his ruby eyes, fighting the tears that threatened to fall.

Nobody had ever seen Dave cry. For all his eighteen years he had kept his poker face steady, betraying nothing of his inside emotions. Not even John had seen his mask slip, and he was closer to John than anyone else in the world. Or at least he had been.

They had started talking on the internet in their early teens and soon became close friends. Dave never expected to get along with such a dork, and of course John was equally surprised to be friends with someone cool, but somehow despite their differences they got along extremely well. John had been thrilled when he found out they would be attending the same high school, and as their friendship crossed from online to real life their bond became stronger. Dave kept John safe from various bullies at school, and he was always there to make John smile when he looked upset. Their circle of friends grew as well, but Dave and John stayed as close as ever, best bros to the end.

Except Dave didn't want John to be his best bro, he wanted him to be more. He had tried to deny it for so long, but he knew now. He knew he loved John. His bright smile, his cute little buck teeth, his cheeky laugh, his deep blue eyes, they all made Dave's head spin with emotions he wasn't really ready to handle. John was the most important thing in the world to him, but he knew he could never really have him, not in the way he wanted at least. It had been three months now since Dave realised his feelings for John, and as soon as he admitted it to himself his whole world seemed to fall apart. Every little thing John did drove Dave crazy, his shy smiles, his surprise hugs, that adorable giggle. All Dave wanted was to kiss him right there, to tell him how much he loved him, how much he needed him, what he meant to him, but he couldn't. After all, John wasn't interested in guys. Dave still remembered the day John awkwardly turned down Karkat when he asked John out, explaining that he wasn't attracted to guys. Even though Karkat was the one getting rejected, Dave still felt a twinge of disappointment at those words, although back then he didn't really understand his feelings for John.

To avoid the temptation to just confess all, Dave started to spend less time with John. He had intended to stay away for just a week or two, but a week or two grew to a month or two and it soon became blindingly apparent to everyone that Dave was avoiding John. The look of hurt and confusion on John's face when they did occasionally bump into each other at school tore at Dave's heart, but he kept avoiding him, pretending that he was just busy studying for exams. It was better to hurt him for a little while than lose him forever because of one stupid confession.

John had tried to find out what was bugging Dave, he had pestered and threatened and begged but to no avail. Finally as their Senior year ended Dave stopped seeing John completely, only talking to him occasionally on pesterchum. In his desperation to fix their friendship John had just started randomly turning up at Dave and Bro's apartment, something he had never done before. The visits were painfully awkward and John would usually start crying by the time he was supposed to leave, but he kept turning up. Dave tried to get Bro to come up with an excuse to turn him away but he had taken quite a shine to the sad little brunette, and instead he started inviting him around so he didn't have to awkwardly turn up on their doorstep. Dave wasn't sure if it was an attempt to fix their friendship or to just get on his nerves, but either way he couldn't really do anything about it, it was Bro's apartment after all.

These past weeks things had taken a turn for the worse. Usually when John visited Bro would go out for a bit and leave him and Dave together, only coming back to cook dinner and drop John home. But one Tuesday he didn't leave. He stayed and watched a film with John and Dave, and let John help him prepare dinner. The two seemed to get along well (Dave assumed they had started talking on the drives home) and he was grateful to Bro for staying, as it was infinitely less awkward with him there. The next day Bro stayed as well, and it soon became a routine. Everything was going better than usual with him there, and it made life a whole lot less miserable to see John laugh and smile properly again.

But then Bro had started flirting with John.

It had started with simple compliments, a teasing remark here and there, but it soon grew. Now he was basically all over John like a bad rash and Dave was finding it increasingly harder and harder to keep calm around them, especially since John did nothing to stop Bro, not even bringing up the old 'sorry, I'm not a homosexual' card.

It had finally got too much this afternoon and he stormed out, mumbling something about buying dessert for tonight. The walk managed to calm him down and as he picked up a strawberry cheesecake for the three of them he felt a lot better.

The walk back was a quick one. He felt bad for leaving John alone with Bro, as he knew that his older brother still intimidated John a little bit, although they got along well now. As he walked up to his apartment door he felt his insides squirm for some reason, and he got the feeling something bad was going to happen. Slowly he twisted the door handle, stepping inside cautiously.

John stood there, pinned to the wall by Bro, mouth open, eyes glazed, glasses askew, and with a deep crimson blush dusted across his cheeks. Bro lips trailed down his neck, stopping to gently graze his teeth over the pale skin, humming as John gasped in response and gripped Bro's shirt a little tighter.

The cheesecake fell to the floor as Dave stood there in shock. At the noise John's eyes met his and it was suddenly too much to handle. Before he knew it he was back in the hall fighting tears, sliding down the wall only to get back up again and head for the roof.

Looking out over the city he tried to control his breathing. In, out. In, out.

He froze as he heard the door to the roof swing open slowly. Calmly he slipped his shades back on, waiting as the footsteps came closer.

'Dave, I'm so sorry. . . I didn't mean for it to happen'

John had assumed that he and Dave would be best bros forever.

It broke his heart when Dave started avoiding him, he just couldn't understand what he did wrong. At first he thought he was smothering him, spending too much time with Dave and that he just needed space, but even when they only bumped into each other occasionally in school he looked like he couldn't get away fast enough. It hurt John, more than he would like to admit. Rose and Jade tried to take Dave's place, but John didn't want their sympathy. He started talking to them less and less excluding himself from his friends just like how Dave was excluding himself from him. Only Karkat didn't bother treating John any differently than before, which was a huge relief to John and he started spending more time with the short-tempered teen.

When school ended he nearly gave up trying to see Dave, they talked occasionally but that was about it, John knew when he wasn't wanted. Weeks passed and Karkat soon got tired of John's moping around and sent him off to visit Dave at home, explaining that he may have gotten over whatever was bothering him now school was over.

Of course he wasn't over it, not by a long shot, John could tell the second Dave opened the door. He kept visiting though, hoping to get back to the friendship they once had. He knew he should stop, he knew he was forcing his friendship on Dave and that wouldn't help at all, but he couldn't bare not to see him. Dave's Bro seemed to take pity on John, and started inviting him over, even going as far as to drive him home, as by the time John was at the apartment door he usually started crying. John liked Bro a lot, he was like an older, scarier version of Dave, well the Dave he used to know anyway.

Bro was always nice to him, and when he started flirting with John he didn't mind at all. It felt nice for someone to compliment him for once, especially since visiting Dave usually left him feeling like an unworthy piece of shit by the end of the day. He didn't even mention to Bro that he was straight, mostly because he had come to realise it wasn't really true.

You could have asked John a million times, even when he was feeling his lowest, if he would ever let his relationship with Bro go any further and he would truthfully say no. But the second his lips touched Johns he lost all restraint.

It felt too much like Dave was kissing him.

In Johns mind it was Dave's hands that were sliding up under his shirt, Dave's lips moving against his own. He did nothing to stop Bro, not even when he pinned him to the wall, lips moving down Johns neck and hands sliding down his sides to rest as his hips. The apartment was a blur, it was too hot and John felt like he couldn't breath.

And that's when Dave walked in.

John just stood there in shock, tears forming in his eyes as the gravity of the situation hit him.

What the hell had he done.

Stumbling over to the couch he slipped his shoes on while Bro just stood there, cool as a cucumber.

'He'll be on the roof'

John started at the words, turning to see Bro smile at him gently, not the standard Strider smirk, a real genuine smile. And with that look John knew Bro understood. He knew how much Dave meant to John.

How much John loved Dave.

With a slightly wobbly smile of his own John stood up and left for the roof, trying to sort out all the things he desperately wanted to day to Dave.

His heart skipped a beat as he saw Dave sitting there, shades in his hand. But before John could even take a step they were back on his face, along with his usual blank expression.

'Dave, I'm so sorry. . . I didn't mean for it to happen'

No answer. He might as well be talking to a brick wall.

'Dave, talk to me please. I'm so sorry. . .'

John could feel the tears welling up, chocking his throat, cutting off the words he desperately wanted to say.

'It's fine.'

Dave's voice was calm and steady, he didn't even turn to look at John.

'Look John, it's your life. I don't really care what you do with it'

John froze. He didn't care?

Did John really mean that little to him? Their whole friendship, Dave had meant the world to John, but did Dave feel the same? John was always the one depending on Dave, always the one asking for advice, always the one sharing his secrets, it seemed normal at the time but looking back it was all one-sided. Dave never told John his secrets, he never asked John for advice, he never opened up. It was like. . .

'All these years, you never really cared did you? You just felt sorry for me'

Dave stayed silent. His mask of indifference firmly in place.

'I think you'd better go John'

It was true. . . he didn't care.

John tried to hold his tears in but he couldn't stop himself. Sobbing quietly he practically ran back to the apartment, picking up his bag and trying to calm down. So what if his best friend of six years just felt sorry for him, he could handle it. No big deal. Now if only his eyes would stop watering. . .

'Come on, I'll drop you home.' Bro stood at the door, keys in hand. John just stared at him for a while, then nodded. The quicker he left the better.

The walk to the car was silent, as was the drive home, it was only when Bro parked the car to let John out when he broke the silence.

'What did he say?' John looked down at his lap, playing with a loose bit of string from his shirt.

Somehow the 'Nothing' he intended to say got stuck in his throat and instead he told Bro everything, how he felt, what Dave had said, how he just sat there, not even looking at him. Gently Bro patted John's back, trying to get him to calm down before he choked on his own tears. Minutes passed and finally John calmed down enough to leave the car and go home, thanking Bro for driving him home and listening to him with a small smile.

As soon as he shut the door he was crying again.