"i'm not interesting, i'm wrong for you. learn the difference."
It was cold that night and Natsu was curled into his rumpled bed sheets. A blue cat purred at the foot of his bed and he felt it snuggle in closer to his sock-clad feet. Magnolia was pretty at night and the twinkling stars stared down at him.
Natsu was supposed to be asleep, he had a morning exam and it was already past midnight. He couldn't sleep and it wasn't because he was an insomniac, a vision danced in his head. Big, brown eyes vibrantly sparkled at him and pale fingers traced the contour of his face.
Pink lips say incoherent words and he doesn't have to hear them to know she's speaking of him. His stomach flips and his cheeks are ablaze and his mind floods with the thoughts of her smile. The way her name rolls off his lips like air and the way she brings light to any room she walks into. He knows he loves her and he's too stubborn to admit it. The fact that she's the reason he can barely focus or study anymore. It has gotten to point where he'll watch a movie and the credits roll and he'll see her name and his stomach flips.
Her name, her name, her name.
It's all he can repeat in his head all the time, everyday. His room is dark with the exception of the light from his phone as music floats through the air. He reads the time again. 1:47 am. His alarm clock blinks the same time in red numbers. His test is in less than eight hours and he knows he should sleep, he truly does. But he can't and he wants to so bad.
It's when he finally thinks he can lull himself to sleep that his phone rings. He considers ignoring it, but it's been three rings already, he knows it has and he picks up. That voice he's grown so fond of speaks meekly.
"..Natsu?" She sounds as if she's trying to put up a brave front, but he can hear the tremble of her voice through the phone. "Lucy." The kitten's body vibrates against his feet. The line goes silent and Natsu almost lifts up his phone to check if she hung up. He's scared of the fragility in her tone and he says her name again. Her voice comes almost like a whisper. "…would you mind coming over?" His heartbeat picks up and he isn't sure if he heard her correctly but he won't ask her to repeat it. His eyes glance over at the bright, blinking numbers. They flash 1:56 am; he considers his options and draws a conclusion. He knows if his dad hears him he's dead meat and if Zeref hears him, he'll never live it down. His stomach flips once more and looks towards his window.
"I'm on my way."
xXx
He's throwing rocks at her window and he's freezing in the thin flannel he threw on before he climbed out of his window. He isn't sure how many pebbles he's thrown, but it takes her a while to open the doors for her balcony. When her light flicks on, he sees her shadow ghost on the curtain in front of the sliding doors. He looks up at her when she steps onto the balcony and his heart skips a couple beats. She's graceful in the light of moon, the moon's rays wash over her figure as she looks down at him.
"This looks like a scene straight out of a movie."
"I wouldn't want it any other way."
Once he's gotten to the second floor of her house and inside of her bedroom, he pulls her into a hug and she wraps her arms around him. They've done this so many times and he knows why, she's afraid and he'll protect this sunshine. They've trusted each other for so long and he doesn't want to ruin what they've got with his petty feelings. He makes moments like these last because he knows they probably mean nothing to her and he's fine with that, he'll work with what he has. But this time it's different, she's not crying and she hasn't started speaking. They're standing there and hugging in the darkness and he opens his eyes, the smell of her hair filling his nose. He knows by now they'd have let go, but she hasn't. It seems as if he's being pulled closer, he won't let go because he's here to comfort her.
"Lucy?" He feels her grip at her shirt, he's sure of it. Her breath is shakes as she breathes against his chest.
"You okay?" Her grip loosens and she steps back, her hands rest on his forearms and there's a sad sparkle to her eyes when she smiles at him. He doesn't believe her and he holds her to look at her intently. She breaks away from his gaze and embrace and motions him towards the bed, where they'll hold each other until they both fall asleep. He won't move though, he won't let her sleep with her mind on something he knows is bothering her.
"Lucy, please." She won't speak as she stands on the side of her canopied bed and Natsu moves towards her. She knows he won't relent unless he gets answers. She sighs and collapses on her bed, she's clad in large t-shirt, most likely the one he'd noticed was missing from his closet, and tights. He wants to pick her up and press her against that wall and at the same time cuddle her into an oblivion. He wants to take all her problems away and make her happy; he wants her light to glow brighter than it's ever glowed before. He also wants it just to be for him.
"It's…today, Natsu." The date, 7 years ago, he remembers her speaking about it. For the last four years, he's noticed around this time her light dims. For the last four years, she distanced herself. For the first time in four years, she's called him, because she can't sleep. They both know that if they're parents were to ever find out that they sneak away like this they'd be in huge trouble. Especially Lucy's father, but they take the risk. He isn't sure why they never talk about it out loud, but he won't ask.
"Your mom." She nods, folding her hands over the over, again and again. He knows she'll probably cry and he should console her, but he can't move. He won't touch her when she's like this. He knows the feeling, he does.
"…Natsu." He looks at her face again and he notices the tears coming down her face. In a couple seconds, his shoes are off and she's lying in his arms on her bed. He won't let her cry herself to sleep like she told him she's done every other year.
"I won't leave you." For some reason that makes her cry harder, he looks at the time on the clock. 2:17 am. Natsu wouldn't be going to school tomorrow and he knew it. He almost laughs at himself, he can contemplate decisions over and over in his mind for as long as he wants but if Lucy's in the equation, he'll choose her every time. It's sad to see honestly, he'll break himself over her and she'll probably only see him as a really good friend. His eyes flutter shut and he releases a sigh.
"Natsu?"
"Hmm?"
"You really mean that? That you won't leave?"
"I have nowhere to go, in all honestly."
Her fingertips make shapes on his stomach and he rubs her back lovingly. They almost seem like a couple, most people assume they are. They'd both like to be, but neither will ever admit it out loud. It's truly painful watching one pining over the other and the other chasing after them. So close, yet so far. They depend on each other so much and others wonder how they aren't together. Sometimes they wonder too, both scared of a rejection they've felt so many times before. Natsu remembers what his brother had said to him before and he doesn't know why, but he does.
"You can't ask for love, it kind of just throws itself on you. Sometimes you don't expect it, other times you get lucky."
Natsu didn't consider himself one of those lucky ones, falling in love with his best friend had to be the worst idea his brain had ever conjured up. Lucy was beginning to nod off and the motions she made on his abdomen began to slow down. Her breathing noticeably slowed and a light, fairy-like yawn left her mouth. He kisses the top of her head and continues to rub her back, lulling her into the deep sleep he most likely wouldn't receive until about 3 in the morning when he returned home. She does something he would almost never have expected.
"Natsu, can you please stay?"
He freezes in place, halting the movements of his hand on her back. He sits up and looks at her figure with the help of the light from the balcony. Her hand rests on his forearm, slightly squeezing the muscle there. She has never asked him something like this before and he's stuck between being responsible and following his heart. It's thumping loudly in his chest, his heart, and he thinks of the rabbit, Thumper, from Bambi. She's looking at him with big, doe eyes and he knows he should resist.
He's lying underneath her covers, his jacket discarded and he can hear the soft rumbling in Lucy's chest from her sleeping state. She's fallen asleep now, he's sure of it. She's lying on his chest and he listens to the breaths that push gracefully out of her lungs. He should sleep, he's tired enough, although he promised her he would stay, he knows he should leave. Her fingers grip the thin fabric covering his abdomen as if she can hear him contemplating departure in his mind. He looks at her face again and gives a small smile, he loves her so much, and she'll never know.
xXx
Lucy wakes normally the next morning, immediately beginning her morning routine when she notices the sound of snores resonating from under her covers. Carefully, she pulls up the covers and the first thing she sees are tufts of familiar pink hair.
"Natsu?"
A snore erupts from his body and he rolls over to look at her.
"Morning." She beams widely at him, finding herself slipping back into her covers. He looks at her with wide eyes, seeing that it's already 10 in the morning. "I thought you were going to school?"
"I don't want to."
"We're sleeping in? My dad's probably wondering where I am." She snuggles in closer to him and her eyes flutter close.
"He probably is."
"I should call him." She begins to trace circles on his stomach and his heart does a flip.
"You probably should."
"Will you let me?"
"I probably won't." The blonde places her ear over his heart, smiling as she listens to his heartbeat.
"What about your dad?"
"I really don't care at this point." Natsu laughs heartily, rubbing her back again and kissing her head lovingly. Natsu knows tomorrow when they go to school he'll be teased. That was the bittersweet side of having your crush as your best friend. They could intimately close anytime and it wouldn't be weird to others. However, it is inexplicably hard for Natsu, knowing he'll never jump past the friend zone because of the fact that he feels he'll affect her.
His phone buzzes in his pocket and he digs to find it. He has a text from Gray and he wonders why they even have each other's numbers if they hate each other so much. But neither can bear to delete it.
'Where are you and Lucy?'
Natsu smirks and opens the message entirely to take a picture of the sleeping blonde on his chest. His face is blocked but you can see his big toothy grin and Lucy's body pressed against him.
'Can't talk, we're sleeping.'
xXx
When Gray receives the message from Natsu, his jaw drops. Juvia sees this and looks up in curiosity; he slides his phone to her. She squeals with delight and suddenly Gray's phone is being passed around their group of friends.
"Salamander knows what he's doing after all, huh?" Gajeel grunts out his response as he hands the phone back to Juvia to give to Gray.
"Of course he misses a test to sleep in with the girl he's love with." Gray sighs, placing his hand over Juvia's.
"In love?" Juvia asks, her eyes sparkling with amazement.
"You didn't know?" Gray inquires, his eyebrow lifting in confusion.
"This is very valuable information." Levy mumbles, her forehead creased as she processes the newly gained information. "Whaddya mean, valuable?"
"Well, you see, Gray-sama, Lucy loves him too."
"This situation just got a lot more interesting."
*pretends i didn't go missing for like 5 months* hello, loves. i know what you're all thinking. "are you freaking kidding me? update idri, you fart!" i am at a very…interesting point in my life right now so…yep. love ya!
r&r!
(p.s. bonus points for who can guess where that quote's from)