Wait, let me rephrase that.
Have you ever been dragged into a club whose sole purpose is to seek out aliens, time-travelers, sliders, and espers with the intention of having fun with them?
I didn't really expect anyone to answer yes.
Winter falls and in the handful of months it's been since the SOS Brigade was formed I've been on mind-boggling adventures, seeing things that have challenged my perception of reality and experiencing things wilder than anything I've ever heard of in books, TV, or anime. At the center of it all is Suzumiya Haruhi, a living god to some, a time anomaly to others, and there are even a few creatures in this universe that consider her the key to the next step of evolution.
What do I consider her? The most eccentric high school girl I've ever known. Through some fluke of fate or perhaps it's the secret powers hidden within her, she's collected within our merry little club an alien, a time-traveler, and an esper.
In fact, every day is so wild and exotic that I almost passed out in shock when I came into the club room that particularly cold day to find Haruhi sitting at the long desk that extended across the central region of the room alone. She was resting her head in her arms, a sure sign of boredom and an early sign of impending disaster. Hoping to remedy the situation, I opened my mouth.
"Only you?" I asked.
She didn't respond. I took a seat across from her and shook my head. If she wouldn't respond to just that, any other potential efforts would be in vain. Anyway, if the situation became dire I was sure that help would come.
"Even with Asahina-san and Koizumi gone," I thought aloud, "it sure is strange to see Nagato missing."
Haruhi still didn't respond. Braving the stormy waters I decided to at least make sure she was alright and to achieve that goal I gave her a good shake on the shoulder.
"Hey, Haruhi. Wake up."
Her clothes were icy to the touch. Now in the preliminary stages of panic I felt her face and it was even colder. As I threw my jacket around her only now was I starting to realize the situation at hand. The heater we had recently acquired was dead and I wasn't good with appliances. I checked up on her again. Slightly better, but not enough to relax.
Without thinking I took her into my arms and pressed our bodies together. It felt good, and I knew it was enough warmth for the both of us.
I looked down at Haruhi and smiled.
"Forget aliens, time-travelers, and espers. Isn't this enough for you?"
Such were my thoughts as I lapsed into sleep.
---
When I woke up again, night had already fallen. The lights were on, and I was lying face up, sprawled on top of the centerpiece desk. Groggily I raised my head and saw Haruhi at the stove, apparently brewing tea. She was wearing one of the aprons that usually adorned our resident time-traveler, Asahina Mikuru and frankly, she looked quite good with it on.
"Haruhi...?"
"Kyon?" She quickly spun around and seeing my state of being breathed a sigh of relief. "You're alive."
I sat up and scratched the back of my head. "Somehow."
The sweater was back on and it felt quite toasty. I slid off the table and into a seat.
She poured a cup and brought it to me. In stark opposition to the always energetic brigade chief I was used to, her movements were reserved and timid.
"Here." She placed the cup on the table before me. "It might not be as good as Mikuru-chan's but..."
I patted her on the head. "Chief, the cute mascot is supposed to be Asahina-san."
A moment of understanding passed and she smiled, that ear-to-ear golden expression that signalled to the world her joy. "Kyon! You better drink all that tea or there'll be punishment. You hear me? Punishment!"
She paused to think. "In fact, you've already broken a very important rule. For unauthorized physical contact with the brigade chief, you're taking the heater to the repair shop tomorrow!"
I grinned. Maybe it's a pain in the ass, but for Haruhi's smile I'll continue to put up with it. "Roger, chief."
---
The next morning I saw Nagato Yuki standing outside the club room. For the briefest moment I thought I saw a smile creep up on that perpetually emotionless face.
It was then that I remembered.
A sector of the Data Integration Thought Entity overmind intends on initiating proactive activity and observing the resulting fluctuations in data.
Good grief.