A/N: I thought the nighmare scene in IM3 was heartbreaking, so this little story (a one shot) was born.
...
...
...
"Can we just g.. just let me…just let me catch my breath.. d …don't go, alright?"
"I'm going to sleep downstairs. Tinker with that."
Something cracks inside him as she walks out – and it still feels like he can't breathe – but he forces himself to attempt sleeping again nonetheless, because the general consensus is that this is healthier than what he was doing last night, and the night before that… and he's not young enough anymore to avoid sleep indefinitely.
The lack of human warmth behind him as he turns to his side, clutching the pillow under his head with more force than is strictly speaking necessary, hurts, but he wills himself to sleep deciding that he can't be feeling the scarred heart within him splintering into fragments. He's too hollow inside for that, and it doesn't matter – he doesn't matter, Rogers was right after all.
This time when the nightmares come – the consuming ache in his chest as he gasps for air that won't come, and the knowledge that his sacrifice doesn't count because his existence isn't truly worth anything so it's a paltry trade for the world – there is no-one to pull him from their clutches.
He is alone – as he only ever has been – and really why wouldn't he be when this is all he merits?
...
...
...