Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
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The most painful state of being is remembering the future…
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"Why are you here?" he asked, sorrow evident in his voice.
"I don't know" she sighed while staring intently at the floor beneath her, tears steaming down her cheeks.
"I guess this time I thought it would be different… I was wrong wasn't I?" She said lifting her gaze from the linoleum covered floor to stare intently into his eyes searching for the answer to the ever present question that was looming over their heads.
The tone in which she used was heart breaking for him. He had never thought of himself as good enough for her, and now he felt that she knew it too. He never wanted to see her so upset, and the fact that he caused her to be this way just cemented how bad he felt about the situation.
It was like her words resounded inside his head "I guess this time I thought it would be different" He had always wanted for her to stand up for herself. To be the woman he knew she could be. To watch the girl that he had loved forever, finally decide what she wanted to do. He only wished that she hadn't come to this decision because of the way he had treated her.
She was the love of his life, and the only person he ever wanted to be with. He wanted to go to sleep with her each night, and be the one to see her wake up first thing in the morning. He wanted to ensure that everyday she knew that he loved her and that he would never let her go, never let anything bad happen to her.
But in his heart he knew that out of this whole list there was one thing missing which was probably the thing that would be the most likely to happen, and that was that she would eventually move on without him.
That she would tire of sleeping in his arms. That even though in some way she loved him she could never give him what he really wanted, and that was her.
He had loved her since the first moment he saw her. She was standing near a bus stop just outside of the school grounds wearing a little dress that had cupcakes on it, he had found out later that she hated that dress but that she had worn it on the first day of school because her mother had made it for her and she didn't have the heart - or the courage - to tell her mother the truth about the monstrosity of a dress.
Even though it had been thirteen years since she had worn it, he still pictured her in his head dressed as that innocent little girl, who that day had suffered through supreme embarrassment to make her mother happy. She had always done things to make other people happy, she was always selfless like that.
They had been through a lot together over the years. He was there for her when her first 'real' boyfriend tried to get to second base on their first date, which made her uncomfortable and he was there to support her when she had continued to date the boy for 6 more weeks, which she did to ensure her popularity in the school hierarchy and to look 'cool' to her fellow classmates. He was the first boy that she had ever kissed, and at the tender age of 14 they had their first sexual encounter together.
She was also there for him when times got hard. When he was 15 she took an entire week off school to help him get through his mothers suicide, telling him that he was good enough, that his mother was just too blind to see him for who he really was. She made sure to tell him everyday of that week that she loved him and that no matter what happened she would never leave him and that they would be together forever.
He had believed her then, just as he believed her now when she had told him that she was leaving.
"I'm sorry" she had said. "I don't want to leave… but I can't bear to stay" she claimed as she held her palm up to his cheek, rubbing her thumb over his cheek bones. "You know I love you right… forever"
And with that she walked away, taking his broken heart with her. I guess forever just wasn't enough, he thought to himself as he took one last look at the woman who had made a young boy feel like a man.
He knew that even though he would probably never see her again, that his stupid heart would always love the person she used to be. The little innocent little girl, wearing the cupcake dress, who had stolen his heart at the age of 5 and had never given it back.
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Authors Note: On the advice of other writers, I have been writing one-shots and lemons to test my writing ability. This is just something random that popped into my head the other night and I had to quickly write it down, just in case. I am posting this just to see if it would get a response at all. I don't know if I want to continue it, or do a back story to explain what has happened for this to happen… I would just like to know what you guys think of this because I really like it, and I hope you do too. Please be gentle!!