The Jazzy Vampire: Chapter One
They had all gathered at Jasper's Hotel Casino. It was a beautiful day outside on the Yamahoma Indian reservation in New Mexico. The Jazzy Vampire was about to open for the day, with Jasper and Edward standing in the oh-so-flashy lobby.
"Don't you think the name might, I don't know, possibly give people the idea we're vampires?" Edward asked with a hint of sarcasm in his voice.
"Of course not, you silly goose," Jasper slurred while flinging his arm over Edward's shoulder. "Everyone knows Vampires don't like jazz!"
Edward pushed Jasper's arm away. "Have you been drinking? Isn't a little early for that?" It was only 9 o'clock in the morning.
"It's never early for anything in The Jazzy Vampire!" And with that he skipped away to the front entrance to unlock the doors and greet a very startled bellboy.
Edward shook his head and walked towards the elevator. Maybe talking to Bella would cheer him up a bit…
When Edward reached his room, on the 22 ½ floor (don't ask, this is Jasper's hotel), he found Bella staring out the window.
"Oh, Edward! Look, it's a bird!" Bella pointed to a Chickadee outside.
He frowned. "Yes, there are birds in Jasper's bird garden."
"But don't you just love birds?" She said in a sing-song voice, clasping her hands together under her chin.
"I guess…"
"You know, that should be our bird!"
"Do we need a bird?"
"Yes! And his name will be Jerry. That's short for Jeremiah."
"What a lovely name," Edward said in a monotone voice.
Soon the chickadee started chirping. "Chick-a-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee…"
"Oh look, he knows his name!" Bella was very excited. "Listen to him say it, Jer-a-my-my-my-my-my-my-ah!"
"Yes he's a very smart bird." Edward thought for a moment, "LOOK, ITS GEORGE WASHINGTON." And pointed towards the door.
Bella ran over to the door. "Where?!"
"I just heard him knocking a second ago!"
"I don't see him…"
"Maybe he walked down the hallway."
"I'll check!" Bella ran out of the room and into the hall shouting "GEORGE WASHINGTON, WHERE ARE YOU?"
Something to kill the bird, something to kill the bird Edward thought, while franticly searching the room for a weapon of some sort.
He looked under the bed and on the desk, but could find nothing. Then he opened the dresser to find a row of firearms in every shape and size. Edward sighed, I'll talk to Jasper about this later…
He pulled out a 1930 vintage Enfield revolver and pointed it towards the bird. "Goodbye, Jerry."
BAM! The bird fell to the ground as if in slow motion. He landed with a final "DEE!" The crows then began to eat poor Jerry's carcass.
"A job well done," Edward muttered under his breath.
Just then Bella came moping into the room. "I couldn't find him."
He turned around and looked over at Bella. "That's too bad. Maybe he had to go somewhere."
"Yeah, he is the president after all."
Edward sighed and turned to look out of the window.
"Whatcha' looking at?" Bella asked, coming to sit beside him. She looked down at the crows feasting on chickadee.
Edward looked at her face warily to see if she'd notice what was down there.
"They look like they're eating."
Damn.
"What do crows eat?"
Edward let out a relived sigh and answered her. "Oh, just berries."
"Hmm," Bella tapped her chin in thought. "Berry…what rhymes with berry?"
He froze. Jerry rhymes with berry!