Lorien's Haldir

by l a y d e e

Disclaimer :: ...Any characters you do not recognize are my own creations...anyone else belongs to the genius of Tolkien...no lawyers please!

Major kudos to :: tongue in cheek scribe ...thanks so much for beta-ing my story!

Summary :: A one-shot story about Haldir before the War, through the eyes of the one he left behind...Haldir/OC (no, it's not a Mary Sue!), movie-based...read and review! (Psst...it's my first post, so go easy on me! ) )

All I saw in front of me was a sea.

No, not filled with water. A sea of niphredils was sitting at the bottom of a slab of carved stone, with a body at the top.

No, not any body. The body. The embodiment of my happiness, my tears, my life and most of all, my love.

The mournful lament of the Galadrim filled my ears, their saddened words being the catalyst to my tears, which flowed down ever so freely. I made no effort to wipe them away. My lips trembled slightly as I felt my sobs overcome my body, shaking me. This was a new feeling to me; I never had a loved one leave, and never return again. The gift of immortality comes with its curse of ignorance. But all I could feel, at whatever this display of death explains, was sorrow and grief.

I wanted someone to wake me up from this childish dream that I was having. I wanted the lament to turn into a melodious song. I wanted, more than anything, Haldir.

Through my sobs, I heard the sound of distant laughter. The sound of our childhood memories. It was all coming back to me. Our past replayed in my head, as the present slapped me in the face. That was when Haldir was my Haldir, not Lothlorien's Haldir. The times when he didn't care for work, and all that he did care for was me. And also when matters of love filled his heart, and not the cries of war filling his ears. Those were the days that all we would do was sit beneath the ever-lit mallorn trees, talking and laughing, without a care in the world. Then there were the nights when I surrendered my lips to his, getting lost in the world which his dark-grey orbs held.

I slowly walked over to his body, high on the long slab of stone. His white-blonde hair, still neat as ever. Two ivory flaps of skin covered his dark-grey eyes. Oh, his eyes. His eyes saw right through me. His lips, a light and fading pink, remained shut, in their usual pout. His glowing skin was slowly dimming away.

His armor, which was shined and cleaned earlier, glistened brightly with the reflection of the stars. I ran my hand gently along the breastplate. I looked at it scornfully, remembering that this is what changed Haldir. The day Lady Galadriel told him of this news scarred our relationship forever...

"I was waiting for you, Haldir. Where have you been all day?" I said to him, waiting at his door.

"I was busy, Aranel. Forgive me." he said, his voice tight, his glances brushing off my shocked expression.

"No need to forgive, Haldir. You said it yourself, Lady Galadriel has given you this position, which holds much prestige and demands such responsibility." I said, playfully mocking him.

The hard gleam in his eyes had shut my mood off right away. "If you are not going to take my position seriously, I shall let you be, dwelling in your ignorance." he replied, his voice filling with arrogance.

"I never said such a thing." I whispered, terribly afraid of this new side.

He gave me no response. Lothlorien's Haldir could not answer, for his mentality had changed.

-----

Haldir was like day and night, his personality changing from the old him to the March warden, and then vice versa. He was making his transformation slowly. To the unknowing eye, it might seem as if he had a personality complication, but I understood. At times, it was difficult for me to read Haldir, but, there were those nights when he was like an open book...

"You're not busy, I suppose?" he said, approaching me, as I made my way to the stairs. I shook my head no.

"Won't you join me, then?" How could I refuse such an invitation? He added a sly smirk, drawing me in further towards his invitation. He held out his arm, and I took it. We walked slowly to a patch of grass beneath a mallorn tree.

The fireflies flittered about, and the moon let down its rays of light upon us. I was taking in all of the sights of the nightlife. He startled me when he placed a slender finger along my jawline. Haldir then tilted my head so that I was looking at him.

"Your eyes put diamonds to shame." he whispered, locking his gaze on me. I could feel the fire burn in my cheeks as I lowered my eyes, and felt a coy smile play on my lips.

"The sun cries with envy at the brilliance of your smile." he continued, bringing me closer to him.

"Still the charmer, I see." I replied.

"Nay, my lady, for I speak only the truth." he said, picking up my hand. He brought it gently to his lips, and placed a soft kiss on it. He kept his eyes open, burning an inferno in me while he held his gaze. Haldir held me in his arms, and locked his eyes on me.

Endless kisses followed his short-lived staring contest with me. How blissful it was! When we were through, I wished him a good night. Being ever so courteous, he walked me back to my talan, hand in hand. As he walked away, tears came to my eyes, knowing that this side of him wasn't permanent.

-----

We continued this love-hate relationship, but it was very distant, compared to our previous one. He always said that he was the same person, and who was I to say that he wasn't? If I did, he'd huff off, and murmur that I changed...

"You're just...jealous." he said, one night, after a semi-argument.

"Jealous? Of what?" I answered back.

"Of my status and importance in the court." he replied coolly.

"And you are saying that I am not important? I cannot believe you, of all people, can stand here and say this. I love you so much, why would there be a need for jealousy, Haldir? But if my only perception of happiness begins seem to like my hate and envy for you, so be it." I shot back.

-----

But Haldir was right. I was jealous. Yes. Jealous, but not of his title or importance. The moment the Lady and Lord of the Wood bestowed the title of March warden of Lothlorien to him, was when he forgot about me and the silent vow we made to each other. The only Lady on his mind was Lady Galadriel. He only thought of protecting her land, and defending in her name. That, is what I was truly jealous of.

He told me that he was going to lead the Elf Archers of Lorien to aid the Rohirrim. I asked why, and he only scoffed at my ignorance of war. Then I asked if he would return, and yet again, he could not give an answer. I tried to find the answers to my questions in his eyes, but they were bottomless oceans of gray. For a minute, it was like the old Haldir had returned. In that minute, and for one final time, we shared a kiss before he departed for Rohan.

A last trace of his lips, as I tried to try to grasp an old remnant of our past. I gently placed my arms around him, crying, and wetting his garnet colored tunic. The laughter in my ears faded, and the Galadrim's wails were audible again. The tears started to flow. "Haldir..." was all I could choke out. A soft hand rested on my shoulder.

Lady Galadriel's hand.

I looked up at her, letting go of my grasp on Haldir. I was looking at Haldir's Lady. The Lady. There wasn't a word I could say to her. All she did was put her hand against my face. I could not muster enough courage to look at her in the eyes. She started to lead me away from his body, and spoke to me, but not through her lips.

"He did not die in vain, Aranel." she told me.

Her words were little comfort. Vanity or not, Haldir cannot come back. I was still a wreck, unable to think straight. All of this was hitting me a little too hard. Still, I was unable to look up at her. I could not look at her. She reminded me too much of Haldir, March warden or not.

For the next few days, I stayed inside my talan, not wanting to see the light of day or the stars of the night. All I could do was weep. I felt as if I ran out of tears; I felt so incomplete, so lonely.

"No, I can not do this anymore." I murmured. This hurt so much; it was so unexpected. I cannot stay here. Everything here reminds me of him - the trees, the flowers, the very people. My very home makes me think of him. With no more tears to cry, I had started to think about my last resort.

So, I am now standing here, with about twenty other Elves from Lorien. Ah, Elbereth. I figure that, probably this will be the only way to have peace. Yes. Although he will not be there, I will be able to leave his memories here. At one time, his memories brought me happiness and laughter. Now, they are deep stabs in my heart, killing me with sadness. Leaving him here is correct, for he is Lothlorien's Haldir.

The gathering in front has slowed down, for the grey ship is in clear view now...