The first thing Commander Rose Shepard remembered was a tugging felling pulling her out of the dark and cold and into... pain. She was surrounded by pain, wallowing in it. Everything burned and ached and throbbed. She opened her eyes slowly, trying to think though the haze, and was blinded by light. She could hear voices of two people talking above her but their words didn't make any sense.

She couldn't feel her body. Arms and legs were just screaming nerves that melted together until she couldn't remember if she even had a body. She opened her mouth to scream but nothing came out. Suddenly the voices around her changed and she could feel their attention on her. A dark shape blocked part of the light from view and she focused on it. She fought against the pain and forced her hand to rise towards the shadow.

Help me. Please. She begged silently. The shadow grabbed her hand and pushed it back down to her side.

"Shepard, don't try to move. Just lie still. Try to stay calm." The shadow instructed her. It was a woman. Shepard fought to move, to speak, to scream, to do something. Her body failed her and a weight pulled her back down into darkness. To drift. To wait.

At least it wasn't cold anymore.

"Wake up Commander." A voice echoed above her. Shepard heard it and she tried to reach for it but she kept drifting away. "Shepard, do you hear me? You need to get out of that bed now – this facility is under attack." The voice said again. Shepard recognized it. It was the same voice from before.

Abruptly everything around her shook and it snapped her back into her body like a rubber band. She could feel her arms and legs, dead weights against a hard surface. There was a tightness in her chest as her lungs expanded and she could feel the low thump of her heart. Everything felt sensitive and sore. She reached up to touch her face and it didn't feel right. It hurt. The voice from the ceiling started speaking again and Shepard looked around.

Loudspeakers. She thought distantly. She pushed herself up into a sitting position and gasped at how much it hurt. She pressed her hand to her side tentatively and looked around. It was a lab of some sort, but there was no one here. There was a load metal moaning sound and Shepard could see flames outside the windows.

"The facility is under attack." The disembodied voice said again and informed her that there was a pistol and armor in the locker behind her. Shepard gritted her teeth and pushed herself off of the table. Her side screamed in protest as her feet hit the floor but she fought against it. She turned to the locker and opened it. She grabbed the pistol first and pulled it out to look at it, then glanced at the armor.

I know this. This is familiar. She grabbed the armor and pulled it on without thinking about it. It was second nature, a muscle memory. Weight of the armor felt good, familiar. She grabbed the pistol again then stared at it. It wasn't right. It didn't feel right. The voice snapped her out of her musings to warn her to get to cover. Shepard moved quickly, ducking behind a short wall just as the gas canisters by the door exploded. At the urging of the voice Shepard pushed herself out of cover and started towards the door. She grabbed a thermal clip in the hallway and slid it into the gun. Shepard blinked as she realized that extra weight from the clip made all the difference in the word. Now, it was familiar. Now, it was perfect.

A mec came around the corner, gun in hand, and Shepard didn't even think about it. She just raised the pistol and shot it in the head. Sparks flew and it hummed mechanically for a moment before collapsing to the floor. Shepard grinned, this she knew how to do.

Suddenly confident, Shepard made her way through the hallways shooting at any mecs that stood in her way. It felt as natural to her as breathing.

"Shepard!" a voice yelled. Shepard spun around with her pistol raised, then paused as she saw the person on the other side of a pane of thick glass. He didn't look familiar to her but he was staring with his mouth gaping open. Shepard frowned at him then noticed the shape move behind him.

"Look out!" She yelled as the heavy mec lumbered down the hallway. She shot at the glass, but it was too thick for the bullet to break. She could only stand and watch as the mec opened fire. The man screamed and collapsed. She stared at the heavy mec for half a moment then her face hardened and she turned and walked away.

Shepard lost contact with the voice a little while after that and was left to wander the hallways by herself. She came across a small office and absentmindedly hit play on one of the data logs while she searched for anything of use. Shepard paused as the same voice that had woken her came from the machine. Dr. Miranda Lawson was her name, and she was working on something called the Lazarus Project. The more Shepard listened the more she realized that the project was an attempt to bring her back. She had been dead.

Her grip on the wall slipped as an explosion sent her hurdling backwards into the nothingness of space. Her first instinct was to panic, but she fought against it. It would be alright. The suit would keep her warm and she had plenty of air, one of the escape pods could come around and pick her up.

Then she heard a soft hissing sound and an alarm beeped in ear. Her chest tightened and she fought against the urge to scream. She reached behind her and tried to find the hole but her suit suddenly seemed too tight. She couldn't reach it! A desperate scream forced itself past her lips as she kicked her legs trying to contort her body to her will. It didn't help.

Shepard tore herself away from the memory and hit the stop button desperately. The video log disappeared and she took a deep breath, trying to ignore the way her hands were shaking. She didn't know what happened – or how – but now was not the time to worry about it.

Shepard left the office just a little bit too quickly and made her way down the hallway. Gunshots and shouts sounded in front of her and she rushed towards it without thinking. She stopped and peaked around the corner to survey the situation. A tall, dark skinned man with broad shoulders was shooting at six mecs on the opposite balcony. She stepped out and shot three in the head before the man turned to look at her in shock.

"Commander Shepard?" he asked. She gave him a short nod then shot another mec and ran to where he was. She ducked behind the railing for cover and he did the same. "What are you doing here? I thought you were still a work in progress?" He asked dumbfounded. She gave him a droll look and popped out of cover to shoot another mec.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" she demanded. He gave her a sheepish smile.

"Right, sorry. I'm Jacob Taylor, I -" There was a snap as a bullet whizzed between them. "Damn it!" Jacob jerked to his feet and returned the fire, taking down mecs. Shepard watched his face as he returned to cover. He seemed frustrated and angry but controlled.

Good Soldier. She thought to herself.

"Things must be worse than I thought if Miranda's got you running around." He admitted. Shepard nodded but didn't respond, just waited for him to keep talking. He took a deep breath then blew it out sharply. "I'll fill you in but we better get to the shuttle first." Shepard lips tightened but she didn't say anything. Instead she stood up and took out her frustration on the mecs. A second later Jacob stood up next to her. His hands ghosted with purple light and he flung it out. On the other balcony a mec lifted helplessly into the air.

A Pull. Shepard thought blinking at the purple light. I used to be able to do that. As soon as she thought it the memory surfaced. Shepard activated her biotics and hurled a purple Shockwave towards the remaining mecs. It was stronger than she expected, knocking three mecs aside.

"Nice!" Jacob shouted. She ignored him and they took out the remaining mecs. He turned to her with a smile that immediately fell when he saw the expression on her face. "What do you want to know?" he sounded almost apologetic.

"Where am I?" she demanded.

"A secret facility. That's all I can say for now." Shepard's eyes narrowedat his cryptic answer.

"This isn't an Alliance base." She blurted out before she thought about it. Alliance. She knew that name. They were Earth's galactic military. She was a soldier.

Jacob winced slightly. "The Alliance officially declared you as Killed in Action. The whole galaxy thinks you're dead. Our scientists have spent the past two years bringing you back."

"I know about the Lazarus Project." she snapped and Jacob took a step back. Shepard took a deep and rubbed her hand across her face. It still felt wrong. Like it wasn't her face, like she was wearing a mask.

She knew she should be nicer. Jacob hadn't done anything to warrant her anger but she felt lost and confused. The last thing she remembered was being thrown into space. There was an explosion on the ship she was on. The ship...

"The Normandy." She said quickly dropping her hand. "What happened?"

"You were attacked."

Shepard waved that away, she had already figured that out. "I mean, did anyone else survive?"

Jacob gave her a small smile and nodded. "Most of the crew." Shepard let out a breath she hadn't realized she had been holding. Thank God. She wanted to ask him more questions but a distant explosion reminded her of where they were.

"Where are the shuttles?" Shepard asked.

"Follow me." Jacob said and started off down the hallway. He seemed more confident now that she wasn't asking questions.

Cerberus. They said they were Cerberus.

Shepard leaned back in the seat of the shuttle and looked at the two Cerberus operatives in front of her. Jacob was looking at her with a sort of sympathetic expression. He was the one who had told her. At first she didn't remember why it was such a big deal. Cerberus had sounded familiar but she couldn't figure out why it made her fists clench and her chest burn in anger and then it clicked. Cerberus had been responsible for some of the worst experiments that Shepard had ever seen.

Cerberus was pro-human. Human first at the expense of every other race in the galaxy and they had committed reckless, immoral acts to achieve their goal. And now they had brought Shepard back from the dead. The thought made bile rise in the back of Shepard's throat.

And sitting next to Jacob was the woman who had done it. Miranda Lawson. The woman that had woken Shepard up and got her moving in the right direction. Shepard wasn't sure if she liked her or not. Miranda was arrogant and rude and had a superiority complex. But she had also saved Shepard's life.

"Before you meet with the Illusive Man, we need to ask a few questions to evaluate your condition." Miranda said smoothly leaning forward to rest her elbows on her knees. Miranda was a tall statuesque beauty with dark hair and pale skin and she was wearing a white skin tight suit that made sure everyone knew it.

"Come on, Miranda." Jacob argued. They debated the merits of the questions but Shepard only heard one thing.

"Two years?" she asked, hating how small her voice sounded. "It's been two years?" Miranda glared at Jacob before he could say a word then turned to Shepard and nodded.

"Two years and twelve days. You were on an operating table for most of it." Shepard felt like she had been punched in the gut. What was it that Jacob has said? You were nothing but meat and tubes when I first saw you. Shepard swallowed and schooled her features. Now was not the time to focus on it. Miranda watched Shepard with narrowed eyes then finally nodded.

Jacob cleared his throat. "Record says that you were a colony kid, lost your parents when the slavers hid Mindoir. You enlisted and won a medal fighting batarians on Elysium. Do you remember that?" Shepard for a long hard moment.

"Yes." She said shortly. Jacob waited awkwardly for her to continue.

"Okay." he said when it was clear she wasn't going to. "During a mission on Virmire -"

"We're done." Shepard said shortly cutting him off. Jacob opened his mouth then looked at Miranda. After a moment she nodded.

"Alright Shepard, have it your way." Shepard didn't spare her a glance just turned and looked out the window.

Mindor. Elysium. Virmire. There was a churn of regret in the pit of Shepards stomach for the last one but nothing with the other two. She had lied to Jacob. She couldn't remember. Who was she if she couldn't remember her past? Was she even Shepard? Oh God, what if she wasn't. She knew that Cerberus was capable of some awful things, what if she wasn't even Shepard? She closed her eyes and rested her forehead against the cool window.

No. Come on. Think! What do you remember? She thought back, before waking up, before drifting in space, before the Normandy. What did she remember?

The metal railing dug into her back as she pressed herself against it. She gripped her pistol in front of her while sweat dripped down her back and her heart beat uncontrollably. She was afraid that she was too late, that she had failed. She pushed the emotion down and looked across the opening to where the turian and the krogan had taken cover. Garrus and Wrex trusted her. They had followed her all the way across the galaxy to this moment, and right now they were watching her. Waiting for her order. She couldn't let them down.

"Sovereign recognizes your value. You've impressed it. Surrender to the Reapers and you will be spared. Join us and we can find a place for you." A cold voice said behind her. It was the rogue turian Spectre. The one she had hunted. A little shard of fear slipped through her control but she beat it down and let anger rise instead. Anger would make her strong.

"Sovereign's controlling you through your implants. Don't you see that?" she yelled at him from cover. Maybe, just maybe, she could get through to him and stop this before it started. She readied her pistol anyway. "I can stop it. Step aside and the invasion will never happen."

"We can't stop it! Not forever. Sovereign's too strong." He sounded desperate and almost apologetic and suddenly she knew what to do. He was a Spectre, he was appointed by the Council to protect the galaxy. Even if Sovereign had indoctrinated him there must still be a part of him that believed in those values. Benezia had been able to fight Sovereign off for just a moment, maybe he could too. She stood up and stepped out of cover so that she faced him directly. Garrus hissed at her to get back down but she ignored him.

"It's not too late." She met the rogue Spectre's stare and held it. "You can still redeem yourself." His eyes widened in realization and his mandibles twitched.

"You're right," he said quietly, "Thank you, Shepard." He put his gun against his jaw and pulled the trigger. Blue blood danced through the air as his body fell to the pit below.

Shepard opened her eyes and met the emptiness of space. Saren. She remembered Saren.

And the Reapers.