Hey! It's me again. I can't stop writing!
Somebody stop me!
It is an idea that dawn into me this morning while I was researching for pick-up lines I will use for my other story.
Please bear in mind that this is full fluff. Right now, I don't know if there will be some linear story that's gonna happen. All these are conversations I picture House and Cuddy having. Mostly, House threw her here with pick-up lines.
Disclaimer: Classic.
HOUSE: Cuddy, hey! You look messed up. I can bet you haven't slept and bathed since yesterday.
CUDDY: Of course, you can. (received a chart from nurse Brenda; rolling her eyes)
HOUSE: Anyway, I have a suggestion. Why don't you try to save water and shower with a friend.
CUDDY: (wrinkled her forehead)
HOUSE: hey… I'm a friend…
CUDDY: (walked away)
HOUSE: Heey! We're friends!
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HOUSE: (walked in the clinic)
CUDDY: (threw him an angry glare) You're late! Fourth time this week---
HOUSE: (stopped and stared at Cuddy's lips dreamily)
CUDDY: ---and its only Friday which means you came in not late only once---
HOUSE: (remained to look at her as if stunned)
CUDDY: ---WHAT?
HOUSE: I think I love you but I can't be sure until I kiss you…
CUDDY: (one eyebrow rising) Exam room One and Two. Finish you're quota and you might get lucky.
HOUSE: (smiled inwardly)
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HOUSE: CUDDY!
CUDDY: (paused on the opening of the hospital door and looked at him from behind)
HOUSE: Going home already?
CUDDY: I think it's about time, its 10:45 P.M. already. What are still doing here?
HOUSE: (limped his way to her) Can you help me find my puppy?
CUDDY: (frown) You have a puppy? Since when? How?
HOUSE: That's beside the point. Just help me find him…
CUDDY: Fine. When and where have you lost him?
HOUSE: (shrugged shoulders)
CUDDY:Where do you think he went?
HOUSE: I think he went into a cheap motel room a few blocks from here. Maybe he checked in?
CUDDY: (walked away, annoyed)
HOUSE: What? Have you no pity for the little being of joy?
CUDDY: Nice try. (get in her car and started it)
HOUSE: As if I would like to check in a motel with you!?!
CUDDY: (car already hitting the road)
HOUSE: Damn! Got to find something that will work!
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HOUSE: Sunshine! Clothes look heavy on you, want to relieve some?
CUDDY: Yes. Sure. But not with you.
HOUSE: With whom? Wilson?
CUDDY: No. New assistant, male, newly grad. Very handsome.
HOUSE: Shame on you, pedophile!
CUDDY: Die there in envy! (winked at him and entered her office)
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CUDDY: (sitting on her office chair, signing papers while he stood opposite her table) No!
HOUSE: I really need to CT scan her head!
CUDDY: (stopped and looked at him) She's not your patient! She's Dr. Quiocho's patient! She ordered for the CT. Therefore, she gets the result.
HOUSE: Then, I'll order another CT!
CUDDY: No, you're not. (waved her hand as if to shoo him away) Leave her alone. Find a patient of your own, for Christ sake!
HOUSE: (closed his eyes and raised his hands to the air as if praying and started chanting unrecognizable words)
CUDDY: (lifted her head from the paper works) What psycho-drama is it now?
HOUSE: (eyes opened but did not lower hands) I have made an ancient voodoo chant so that you would let me snatch her patient!
CUDDY: Go away.
HOUSE: Don't make me use it on you.
CUDDY: (smirked impatiently)
HOUSE: Cuddy, I have a proposition…
CUDDY: Go away. (went back to reading and signing papers)
HOUSE: I say we compromise. You get something from me and I get what I want. Dr. Quiocho… forget about her…
CUDDY: GO AWAY!
HOUSE: Then, you're leaving me no other choice but to use Voodoo on you!
CUDDY: (reached for the intercom and stared at him challengingly)
HOUSE: (he did not felt threaten) Huuummmn, huuuuuumn… Be prepared for my voodoo, Cuddy! I warned you!
CUDDY: (pushed the button) Armed security to my office, now! Mad man molester in here.
HOUSE: GIRLS LIKE CUDDY ARE SEXY, GUYS LIKE ME ARE FINE. I'LL BE YOUR SIX IF YOU'LL BE MY NINE!
CUDDY: (jaw dropped) No. Thank you.
HOUSE: No. Don't thank me. Thank God somebody even asked you!
CUDDY: Ah! Bastard! (throwing him her black wireless computer mouse)
HOUSE: (dodge from it successfully and hid behind the door. He let a few moment pass before he sticked his head out of her door again) I can tell that you want me…
CUDDY: Yes. I want you to leave. (3 security personnel came in to her first glass door) Security! Take him out!
(minutes after: her phone rang)
HOUSE: By the way, Cuddy. Quiocho's patient has S.L.E. I just thought I'd mention.
CUDDY: What? Systemic Lupus Erythematosus?
HOUSE: Is that what the acronym stands for? I did not even thought it was an acronym…
CUDDY: Again. You're not her doctor. Give it a rest---(hung up phone without waiting for him to reply)
(her phone rang again)
CUDDY: What?
HOUSE: Tell her that. So from there, there really is no need for a CT for an SLE patient. I got it at the moment I saw the pathognomonic sign of butterfly like rashes on her patient's face---
CUDDY: (hung up phone and went back to writing)
(then, her phone rang again)
HOUSE: I'd really like to get into your pants.
CUDDY: No thanks. There's already one asshole in there… (hung up again)
(then again, her phone rang...again)
CUDDY: YOU CALL AGAIN AND YOU WILL REGRET YOU WERE EVEN BORN---uh---what? (face turned pale) I'm so sorry Mr. De Vito! No, of course not! It was just a---uh... I'm really sorry.
Please tell me what you think. I really need to know. If this is going to be a hit, update will be fast and ideas will flood.
Open for suggestions.
Carpe Diem.