A/N: This story contains mind rape, themes of suicide, and other potentially disturbing scenes. It is a study of New Game Plus involving both SMT IV and SMT IVA, so Flynn is quite overpowered. Well, I think any SMT verse kind of lends itself to building OP heroes through enduring many disturbing things, but I've had comments about it before, so I'll just state it up front this time.

I've also played with the idea of Literature, so there will be in-story discussion of other stories, including some things that could be spoilers. However, I am not familiar with most of the works that the game references; some of them I can't even find in English. Thus I have used pieces of Literature that I am familiar with and can reference myself to develop characters in this fanfic. I'm keeping a list of works I use for this, so if you're curious, I can send you a copy of said list. Though there are a few fake works in the list when I needed a particular type but didn't know anything fitting... anyhow, hope you enjoy this story!

Chapter 1: After The Nihilist Option

Despair is the other side of hope.

"I'm sorry. You wouldn't be doing this if you weren't aware of the consequences of your actions."

Right, he would not be doing this otherwise. He had not done this when he had tried to save the world in one way or another…

"We cannot live in that peaceful world, for we too have been tainted by the Filth that we have fought. You catch my meaning?"

Yes, but he hadn't realized this was a suicidal mission. It was vital; some sacrifices, even massive ones, were to be expected when the world was so violently wrong. People deserved peace, an everlasting peace that they could count on. But they had won this through violence. They were too stained and too dangerous to be among the innocents that remained. But, what of those others that were about to die and not realize why? As time and space distorted around them, breaking down, the angel reached out to him with an expression of sublime submission. And he knew, this too was wrong…

"Would you rule over them all?"

What was there to rule over? The fires were growing as they watched, consuming everything passionately. The right to rule was a right of power. Those who won decided what would be done. Whatever path he took, that was a truth as well. But taking that for the most important truth, well, he knew people were dying down there, people who wouldn't understand why this was happening. Not that he really understood that either. The demon beside him bowed, but there was something that didn't ring entirely true to her. She might pass over the right to rule, but she certainly would not let him forget who gave that right to him. This too was wrong…

"Look, everything is being restored to what it once was."

Except, not. He'd saved as many people as he could, or had he? The Firmament was torn away, causing Mikado to become rubble that was cast away from Tokyo. The powers of demons and angels had been broken. Or, had it? The future belonged to humanity, but demons and angels would return. And that future was uncertain… and quickly cast away… he would have stayed with it, but that future was cast away, so something still was wrong…

Still wrong, still missing…

A third power rising, breaking the Firmament and separation of time. It was his future, one who had already accomplished more than expected, against her future, one who was just starting out with finding her way. He barely knew the girl, but could not find it in himself to let her life be taken so callously.

And then he, the one who had used his strength to become the hope of humanity, was rendered helpless and unable to decide his own fate.

Whatever fate was decided for him, his spirit was crushed down into a complete meltdown, a puppet to a god's incomprehensible desires. Not just once, but many times. Over and over… something was very wrong…

Knowing that his choices would be made meaningless, they became reckless. He pursued the extremes, sometimes he didn't care at all. But something, or someone, would call out and awaken his conscience again. He'd try to reach them, restore them, only to fall to that third power again. It all became so meaningless, a never ending wheel he couldn't escape.

Except, maybe this would work. He'd never taken this option because it sounded completely mad when he first encountered it, the first time he lived through this nightmare. The White were unnerving, powerful and pessimistic. Their despair had seemed alien. After so much suffering, it wasn't alien anymore. It was what he was living with, being far more powerful than any other human and yet he could be made so helpless and broken. He left his demons out of this; he'd end it all himself.

"Congratulations… on completing your objective."

It would finally be over… entering a sleep of white and never having to feel pain again….

Never again….

It should all stop…

Unless… something was still wrong…

A bird sang nearby. The scent of a lakeside covered over him, a soft stalk of grass tapped against his cheek as the breeze passed by. No, this… it should all be over…

"Hoy… hoy Flynn, wake up!" Issachar nudged him in the side. Then he'd admit to nearly oversleeping too and… Flynn cringed and gripped his hair. "Huh? Flynn?"

"Why is this not over?" he said before realizing that he was speaking. "Why….?"

"You okay?" Isacchar asked.

Flynn screamed and tried to close out the world.

There was only two new samurai this year, a Luxuror man who was the son of a samurai and a Luxuror woman who was of a monastery family that helped conduct the ceremonies. Issachar tried to reassure himself that there really weren't many chosen as samurai; two were few compared to all the other eighteen year olds who'd shown up. But, it still wasn't fair. He'd been working towards this for so long; he'd dedicated the past few years towards proving to God that he was worthy of being a samurai. Now… now what?

Not only that, but his closest friend, the one who kept his secrets and he his… Flynn wasn't well. Something had gone terribly wrong at Lake Mikado, but Issachar didn't know what. All he could do was rush to the capitol to get help and take the samurai he'd found to where Flynn was still in some strange raving state. They'd barely gotten back in time for Issachar to make the gauntlet rite. But that had failed. And, what was he going to tell Flynn's family now?

Despite being a Casualry, they had taken Flynn right to the monastery. Issachar felt out of place being there; so many strange things around, so many books. But they were aware that he was a friend to their new patient, so the nun escorted him downstairs where they were keeping Flynn. It was a dark stony basement, with rooms barred with metal. "You're keeping him imprisoned?" Issachar asked, shocked at it.

"Yes, we're afraid that a demon has invaded his mind," she said. "He's speaking of things he shouldn't know and hasn't responded to any of us. You may try again; he hasn't been violent yet, but we must ask you stay out of the cell while we're uncertain."

He hadn't wanted to speak while she was, but he had to ask. "A demon? But those aren't real, they're just fairy tales."

She closed her eyes and seemed grim.

"Right?" he asked, feeling shaken.

"Demons are real, and a true danger to humanity," she said. "The samurai usually keep them under control, but some slip through. If it weren't for the samurai, things like this would happen frequently. Be careful."

A demon had Flynn's mind; it was unthinkable. He'd been perfectly fine when they'd set out from Kiccigiorgi, in a good mood. While Flynn was very much the quiet one, Issachar could see his excitement and eagerness then. It had been in how he moved around more as they walked and the shine to his eyes. But now, Flynn was curled up on the floor, trying to hide his head in his arms. He was completely ignoring the bed they had in there for him, something that was actually nicer than back at home because it was off the floor.

"Can you do anything for him?" Issachar asked quietly.

"We're going to try exorcising the demon from him when the time is right," the nun said. "When did you notice him change?"

"It was at Lake Mikado, when we were taking a break from our journey to the Gauntlet Rite," Issachar said. "We slept a little long this morning, but when I went to wake him up, he started screaming and wouldn't stop. I didn't want to leave him like that, but there wasn't anything I could do. We're lucky that he didn't leave that spot."

"We'll have some samurai examine the area, but be careful about stopping there for long on your way back," she said.

Issachar gripped the cold bars; this was wrong, it shouldn't be happening. "Flynn? Hoy, Flynn, please, if you're still there, talk to me."

He shuddered, which was more than he'd done all this time.

"Come on, Flynn, I know you're stronger than that," Issachar said.

"Strength doesn't mean anything," he responded. "Not when I can't save you, or Jonathan and Walter. I don't want to do this anymore. The White said it would all be over. It's not over. Why isn't it over?"

"Why isn't what over?" Issachar asked. "I'd say we should get back home, but I don't think they'll let you. Um, but I'll try to get back to see you."

Flynn waved at him, but didn't look over. "Go home, Issachar. Stay out of this. I don't want you to die again. I don't want this anymore."

"Hoy, don't give up yet," he said. "At least come back home sometime. That's what's left for us."

He didn't respond anymore. But as the nun walked him back upstairs, she said, "Thank you for getting that much out of him. It gives us a better idea on how to proceed."

"Oh, sure," he said. "Um, will he recover enough to come home?"

"That's hard to say, but we'll do all we can to get this White out of his head," she said.

On his long lonely walk back home, Issachar couldn't stop worrying about Flynn and what their futures might be. They'd pinned all their hopes and dreams on completing the rite, and now… well, he couldn't describe to himself how he felt, other than terrible and empty and lost.

"Sister Gabby!"

She stopped where she was, catching the familiar movement of yellow at the end of the hall. "Over here, Abbot," she said calmly.

Abbot Hugo came over, irritated as he often got when things were busy. "Ah good, have we finished with the recording of the Gauntlet Rite results? Others weren't sure."

"Of course," Gabby said. "There were two new samurai inducted, so it did not take long after the clerks involved were reminded of the procedures." Although, it was strange. She was expecting this year's rites to be an important turning point with at least four candidates. Other events had explain things, somewhat.

"Good, we don't want the samurai leaders muttering about us behind our backs," Hugo said. "And what of the Casualry boy we have in the dungeon? He's from a distant town, so we can't release him and keep a close eye on him. I heard it wasn't severe enough to cause physical deformation, but still enough to change his personality."

"Right, his friend informed me of that," Gabby said. "In my personal opinion, he is an unusual case and should be kept in the dungeons until we are certain he is cleared of possession. Even if we do release him, it'd be smarter to keep him within the monastery."

Actually, it would be useful to destroy him and make it appear as a suicide. He certainly had given off that appearance to those who had heard him. But then, the Casualry boy was an unusual case. A special soul. Killing him off carelessly would cause unpredictable consequences. But then… this 'possession' was going to have unpredictable consequences. The future was getting less clear.

It did take some convincing to get Hugo to agree to keeping the boy around, supposedly for his recovery. Flynn would be a mild burden to the monastery like this, but Gabby knew he could be a thorn in their sides if he decided to be. Once she got Hugo to feel like the day's work was finished, she continued on to where she had been heading: the monastery roof, through a hidden access point that she rarely shared with others.

Many years ago, so far back in the heritage of others working here… it had taken some doing to make sure that the monastery was higher up than Aquila's castle. Gabby had wanted to break down the first king's image in the minds of Mikado's people as soon as they could get him dead. But then, that was when tragedy struck her colleagues and they were lost to demons. That left her alone to keep Mikado on the proper path. Near the proper path, anyhow, it wasn't easy to work alone. Because of that, the legacy of Aquila, trickster Filth that he was, remained ingrained in the tales of Mikado's people.

The air this high remained pure and light, a feeling she embraced. The stars spilled across the sky like signs of God's wealth of wisdom; a thin crescent of the moon was already near the horizon far below. This was where she retreated to remind herself of her true self. But, tonight was different. It was something she'd rather not be doing, truth be told. But things were going wrong. If she wanted any chance of making them right, this was increasingly looking required.

Gabby flicked her fingers, making a tiny bone whistle appear. She then blew through it, an ethereal sound that none in the monastery below would be able to hear even if they were right here with her. Well, perhaps one would…

Within a minute, a black figure flew through the air over the capitol city. She came right to the peak of the roof where Gabby was and hovered there in showing off. "Well well, Gabriel, you actually did it. What may I do for you?" Her voice was sweet yet mocking.

"Things have gone wrong, Lilith," she said. "It is unclear what, but the Messiah chosen by the Great Will is currently in the dungeon here, believed to be under demonic possession."

"Is he?" she asked, turning serious. "I did nothing of the sort."

"I'd know if you did," Gabriel said. "It seems to be the White."

Lilith sighed; her face was unmoving in this form, but her tendril limbs curled in concern. "Them? That's no good. I don't want to see you win, but I would loathe for them to get ahead. We can't afford them taking him."

"I know, which is why I called on you," she said. "Have you gotten the name of your hero yet?"

She curled an arm in like she wanted to smack her for asking. But then she admitted, "No. I was expecting to learn of it today."

"I as well, and I heard nothing," Gabriel said. "But the Messiah mentioned some names today; in that context, I would believe that he has experienced this time before."

"I remember nothing of the sort," Lilith said. In this case, she had no reason to be lying.

"Neither do I. As he does, I am certain the names he spoke are of significance. We can discount the friend who visited him; I sensed nothing out of the ordinary in that boy. But the other names he mentioned were Jonathan and Walter. A young man named Jonathan was recognized as a samurai today. With some research, I discovered that another young man named Walter was among those who came to be tested. The gauntlet failed to recognize him, but he must be important to us." She then offered the papers and pictures of the pair she'd copied from census records.

Lilith took them, piercing through the pages with her thumb. "I see. I'm already working with the villages; it will be simple for me to get in contact with Walter."

"I should be able to contact Jonathan any time I need to," Gabriel said. "Of course, I cannot confirm right away that we will have the right ones. Their relation to the Messiah will lead us to the truth regardless."

"Then will we need to bother with sending them to Tokyo?" she wondered aloud. "It was to influence the decisions of the Messiah, but if he is incapacitated, we only need influence the heroes." She paced a bit, then asked, "Are you going to let him recover?"

"No," she said.

"Will you offer yourself to me, and allow the Casualry to overthrow the Luxurors for good?"

Something wasn't right. Walter sometimes felt like that, although this particular wrongness was something he couldn't explain. It was like someone was missing from his life, someone important. But, that didn't matter. There was a wrongness in the world that he could explain. And, it was one that he could even do something about.

It'd all started when he failed the Gauntlet Rite. Rebuked by reality, he'd started back home to a dull, mindless, and stressful life that he had not been looking forward to. Being on a fishing boat made him feel strangely trapped, on a wooden box atop a vast ocean below the great heights of Mikado. But on the way there, he'd been called over by some others who'd failed the rite too. They were going to hold a Sabbath to discuss Literature. While he didn't know what was going on, he went ahead and stayed for the night. He'd been granted an understanding of the mystic script as if by magic, and then had his eyes opened to the true vastness of the world and what humans were capable of.

With that knowledge burning in him, there was no way he could return to a mundane life of fishing. He'd joined the group in their traveling around the Mikado countryside, recruiting other youths to their side. Then many of them started turning into demons, making their Sabbaths even wilder than before. Some stodgy villages that refused to take their heads out of the mud were burned, but things needed to change. It was thrilling to have a chance to make a mark on history.

However, Walter never received the demonic transformation. He certainly agreed with the others, and the Black Samurai who led them from the shadows. In fact, she'd chosen him to rise up to a more visible leadership, guiding their protests and planning their greatest event, overtaking the capitol itself. But others whispered against him, wondering why he remained human. It wasn't exactly by choice; he would join them in casting aside humanity if he knew how.

But because of that, he had this offer that none of the others could accept.

"Yes, Lucifer, I'll join you."

"Will you take this risk to call upon God's Chariot and stop these rebels from overturning our peace?"

Jonathan had to admit that he was a little afraid. This summoning could go wrong and kill him in the blink of an eye, before he knew it was going wrong. But, something had felt wrong for a long time. Maybe it was this rebellion boiling up, the signs he saw throughout his training that were worrisome. But it was more like someone important was missing in his life. It felt like everything wasn't going according to script.

He'd mostly expected to be accepted as a samurai. In fact, the men of his family had been accepted as samurai for eight generations now. He'd studied and trained for it. That Isabeau too would be a samurai was a bit of a surprise, but the two of them worked well together. And, she had admitted to him that she also felt something wasn't right. She didn't know what either.

But this, this was clearly wrong. Why were the people of Mikado fighting against the people of Mikado? It made no sense. Hope had said it was mostly a Casualry uprising, which was surprising to Jonathan (but not to Hope, oddly enough). They were all people of Mikado, following the will of God as His chosen. This was tearing their nation apart.

And Jonathan loved Mikado with all his heart.

"Yes, Gabriel, I'll help you summon Merkabah."

Although it was bad to get imprisoned for demonic possession, Flynn accepted it now as a welcome break from the usual cycle of things. He still expected for something big to happen to the world, to return him back to that afternoon on Lake Mikado. But it was a calm quiet place, good for contemplation and thinking. There were still times that he had to slip away from the monks to hide his nervous breakdowns. If they caught him doing that, they'd put him through exorcism again. But the distance between now and other times made things less painful.

It wasn't enough, though. He needed more time to research possibilities, and more distance from his torment. But he had ideas for that already.

One of the white robed monks came into the hall Flynn stayed in; he was hurried. "Oh, here you are," he said. "You need to stay here; there's a large disruption within the city."

"What is it?" Flynn asked, although he had a feeling he knew what it'd actually be.

Thankfully, he answered. "Demons have appeared within the city. We don't think they can get into the monastery, but it's better not to get lax around demons."

"All right, I'll stay around here," he said, even though he could take out those demons easily despite being unarmed and wearing the robes of a monk.

When the monk left, he went back to his room. This might be the end of this time, but… he searched a box that held his few possession: a small black and gold stone was in there. It was a summon stone that had been used in one of his exorcisms, trying to draw out the demon they thought was in his mind. As it was unbroken, it might have a use now. He couldn't control what demon would come, but it might not matter. There was also a card that he'd been working on, one of his little discoveries in poking around the monastery. That was potentially two demons, if both the stone and card worked.

He started hearing screams in the monastery not long after. As he thought, the measures taken for safety no longer applied. It was so late; he might as well let this history burn. It wouldn't matter when he woke back up again. When he walked out of his room, a rakahsha tried to ambush him, both its swords held high over its head as it leapt at him. Flynn held his hand out to it: a white burst of almighty power melted the rakahsha right away. Overkill, but he needed to get used to fighting again after several years of peace and quiet.

Before long, he ran into a familiar sight. But, this wasn't one that he wanted to see. "Flynn!" Issachar came over, his grin tainted by demonic transformation. "I'm glad to see you again, but what're you in that get-up for? You're not a monk."

"They made me one since they won't let me leave the monastery," he said. "I'm glad to see you too, but you seem different. What's going on out there?"

"I've awoken to the truth, that our kingdom is rotten to the core," Issachar said. "They never sent word to your parents or anyone in the village what happened to you; they just let you disappear off the face of the earth as far as anyone back home knew. And when I told the villagers what happened, they didn't believe me. The Luxurors just keep stamping us Casualry down so we remain ignorant and obedient to their pampered wills. But I've joined a group of Casualry that won't take this any longer. We're fighting back, to wipe out the Luxorurs and make Mikado for the Casualry only."

"You've changed," Flynn said. "But having been trapped here, I can see your point."

He nodded. "Yeah, most of our group has embraced demonic powers to make our dreams a reality. Some got turned into full on demons; I'm one of those who can infiltrate places better, as long as I'm careful with my eyes and expression. It's just, I was worried about if you'd get mistaken for a Luxuror if you were still trapped here, so I blitzed ahead to find you. I'm glad I did. Come on, we can sneak out and stay out of the fighting. I want to make sure you stay safe until you have the chance to make the same transformation."

Should he? He decided to. "I've acquired some powers, from the possession," he said. "I've just been hiding them so they didn't decide to kill me."

Issachar gave his demonic grin again. "That's great, then you can help us! We might actually need it, because even though our leader Walter gave himself up to summon the leader of all demons into his own body, someone in the castle has done the same to call upon this crazy powerful angel they're calling Merkabah. And if that one calls down other angels, well they can banish us transformed ones out of this world with a snap of their fingers."

"That still happened?" Flynn said to himself. So even though only Jonathan and Isabeau of them became samurai, Lucifer and Merkabah had still been called into the world through self-sacrifice. Then leading those two away from the idea of self-sacrifice was going to be vital if he wanted to save them too.

"Let's get going, we can support the lines in the Casualry districts of the outer rings," Issachar said. "Or we can even gain a foothold up here in the monastery."

"Possibly, but then we'd be stuck here until others met up with us," Flynn said. "And we'd be near the source of the angels and samurai coming out to battle."

"Ah, so the outer rings then?"

He shook his head. "No, I'd like to go directly to where Lucifer and Merkabah are confronting each other, if possible."

With demons inside the monastery now, Flynn and Issachar could easily slip back outside, into the real chaos. It might have been seen as strange any other day, for a monk and a country Casualry to be running through the streets of the capitol together. But no one was in a state of mind to notice them this evening. Flynn reviewed some more information in his mind as he ran.

As far as he knew, the lower levels of Naruku had not been breeched this time around. The Black Samurai had continually evaded the real samurai, letting the human leader in Walter take much of the visible lead. She must have brought Lucifer up to Mikado however she had gotten here herself. The terminal in Naruku would not have been reached; the one in Aquila Plaza shouldn't be active. Had Lucifer come up as Hikaru or someone else? That might matter later on, past this cycle of time.

He and Issachar only got as far as the gate between the Luxuror and Casualry districts when they came to their destination. Lucifer and Merkabah were facing off here. And, Lucifer had the clear advantage. He slammed Merkabah into a brick house, cracking it and making the angel collapse on the ground. Merkabah looked different than Flynn was used to; their swords were crossed on their back instead of floating at their side. Their long head wings were feathered and far less ornate. After healing themself, Merkabah pushed off the ground and flew out of a massive fireball that Lucifer followed up with. The angel also wasn't as nimble or swift as Flynn was used to.

"Looks like we'll be winning after all," Issachar said in delight.

Well… Flynn took a deep breath. "Issachar?"

"Yeah?"

He raised his hand to him. "See you in the next life." Then he blasted Issachar away so that he couldn't interfere. In this kind of battle, he'd die as he was. "Sorry."

And now, these two. Flynn looked at the card. Virus Trojan. He had no idea what this demon could do in battle. But in future cycles, it was going to be very valuable. He just had to hope that it worked as he wanted. "Come, Trojan," he said, snapping the card in two.

In a tiny puff of smoke, an ornate wooden horse on a wheeled cart appeared, floating beside him. Numerous wires snaked out of its cart, darting around the air. "k3rnnlngr jw34 4n4qfn /virus Trojan jiiif 9983 &," it babbled. "#readyforaction."

"Good," he said, then pointed to Merkabah. The two of them still hadn't noticed. "Merkabah's summoning was incomplete, thus they are incomplete. Can you complete them?"

"Bzzzzzzz," the wires slipped around quicker, then slowed. "#easyaspie." Then the tiny demon bolted off to carry out its mission.

"Now let's see who comes of this," he said, taking out the summon stone. He smashed it onto the ground, making it shatter.

There was a brief chill down Flynn's spine, which gave him a good idea of just who was coming. Space distorted near him, releasing a black-winged angel that appeared like a black marble statue decorated with bright gems. Demiurge glanced at the battle, then at him. "Flynn? Something curious is going on."

"I called you into a different timeline," he explained. "And I may do it again."

"Ah. Well your service has been admirable, so I will allow it. So then, what about these two?"

"This timeline doesn't matter, but we're taking out Lucifer first," Flynn said. "Then Merkabah. But if we die, it's of no concern. It'll just end this time sooner."

"This transformation of yours will be most interesting to follow," Demiurge said. Then he blasted Lucifer from behind, nearly knocking him onto his face.

Merkabah paused on seeing this and nearly got to looking beyond their fallen rival to see just who had done this. Then their wings fluttered in pain right before a golden glow surrounded them. For a moment, Flynn could hear Jonathan's voice in there. Were those two truly dead in there? Then Merkabah emerged in the form Flynn was more familiar with: ornate, pure, and unsettling. Their swords came off their back and their wings spread out. "By the grace of God, I shall smite thee Lucifer!" They then rammed straight into Lucifer as the demon lord was trying to get back on his feet.

"We could just wait this out," Demiurge said, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Could," Flynn agreed.

Then Trojan came flitting back, ducking by Flynn's shoulder. "Eet eet eet!" It sounded alarmed at the power being exchanged in front of them.

It wasn't a fighter after all. "Good work Trojan, but I'll need you more in another timeline," Flynn said. "Return to your card and hopefully I can call on you then."

Carefully, the little wooden horse scooted around him. "Flynn. #terminator #i'llbeback." Then it turned itself back into the brown and black card it had come from.

"Let's just fight both of them," Flynn said, then cast Antichthon at them.

"Wh-why are you against me, monk?" Merkabah asked, getting angry. Then space distorted again, giving a static fuzz effect around everyone there.

"So that's what happens when you tamper with the universe," Flynn said as things got worse.

Eventually, it all winked out into black.