Disclaimer: THIS IS THE DISCLAIMER FOR THE ENTIRE STORY!
I DON'T OWN HARRY POTTER OR CLUE!
Characters:
In Order Of Appearance
Wadsworth ==Sirius
Guard Dogs ==Fluffy
Yvette== Hermione
Mrs.Ho== Snape
Colonel Mustard== Seamus
Mrs. White== Dean
Mrs. Scarlet== Harry
Professor Plum==Draco
Mrs. Peacock== Parvati
Mr. Green== Ron
Mr. Boddy== Pansy
Motorist== Goyle
Cop== Lavendar
J. Edgar Hoover==Neville
Singing Telegram Girl== Crabbe
The opening credits appear over a sky, growing stormy.
~~1 -- EXT. Sirius's CAR--TWILIGHT -- 1~~
Sirius's car travels through the wind of an oncoming storm.
It pulls up to the gate of Hill House.
Hill House is a large, imposing mansion, looking very New England.
Sirius takes out a key and unlocks the gate.
He drives the car up to the front door.
~~2 -- EXT. HILL HOUSE--FRONT DOOR -- 2~~
Sirius exits the car, holding a bag and looking at the three heads of the barking guard Fluffy.
The dog approachs Sirius . . . then jump.
Sirius quickly pulls a big beef bone out of the bag and hurls it to them.
The dog trots away to gnaw on the bone as Sirius rolls up the bag.
Sirius cinches their chain so it won't allow it to reach the door.
He steps toward the door . . . and sniffs.
Sirius pauses and checks the bottom of his feet. Dog crap.
He looks in disgust at the dog, who isn't bothered at all.
~~3 -- INT. GROUND FLOOR--THE HALL -- 3~~
The Hall of Hill House is remarkable, elegant but not gaudy. It is furnished in dark wood, and brass, with crystal chandeliers. There are several doors on each side of the hall and three at the end.
To the left: Lounge and dining room.
To the right: Study, library, and billiard room.
The end: Conservatory, ball room, bathroom, and kitchen.
The stairs are located to the right.
By the staircase is the door to the basement steps.
We hear "Shake, Rattle and Roll" in the background.
Sirius opens the front door of Hill House and wipes off his foot.
He enters and hangs up his coat.
SUPERIMPOSED: NEW ENGLAND 1954
Sirius steps briskly down the Hall steps toward the library.
4 -- INT. GROUND FLOOR--LIBRARY -- 4
The library is a somewhat more comfortable room than the hall, composed of dark colors. All of the walls are covered with books, with the exception of one wall, a window.
Hermione, a young and rather jiggly french maid, is polishing a glass.
The music is much louder.
Sirius enters and turns off the record player.
The music stops.
(He speaks to the maid in a proper English accent.)
Sirius: Is everything ready?
(She replies in a French accent.)
Hermione: Oui, monsieur.
Sirius: You have your instructions?
Hermione nods.
Sirius exits.
Hermione sniffs the air, and then examines the bottom of her shoes.
~~5 -- INT. GROUND FLOOR--KITCHEN -- 5~~
The kitchen is white tile, narrow. There is a meat freezer to the right. A counter leads off to the left.
Snape, the cook, is sharpening a knife.
Joseph McCarthy is speaking on the television in the background.
Sirius enters.
Sirius: Is everything all right, Snape?
Snape turns, knife in hand.
Snape: Dinner will be ready at seven-thirty.
The doorbell rings.
Sirius exits the kitchen.
~~6 -- EXT. HILL HOUSE--FRONT DOOR--NIGHT -- 6 ~~
A man is standing by the front door, being growled at by the Fluffy.
He is not comfortable.
~~7 -- INT. GROUND FLOOR--THE HALL -- 7~~
Sirius opens the door.
Sirius: Good evening.
MAN: Good evening. I don't know if--
Sirius: Yes, indeed, sir, you are expected, Colonel. May I take your coat? It is Colonel Seamus, isn't it?
Seamus: No, that's not my name. My name is Colonel--
Sirius: Pardon me, sir, but tonight you may well feel obliged to my employer for the use of an alias.
Seamus sniffs around and checks his shoe as Sirius hangs his coat.
The pair starts across the hall.
Seamus: And who are you, sir?
Sirius: I'm Sirius, sir. The butler.
~~8 -- INT. GROUND FLOOR--LIBRARY -- 8~~
Hermione is present.
Sirius: Hermione, will you attend to Seamus and give him anything he requires. (glances at them) Within reason, that is.
Sirius exits, closing the doors behind him. The doors have books on the back of them, and so look like a part of the wall.
Seamus: Oh, Sirius, I was--
Seamus turns to discover the doors have disappeared.
The bell rings.
~~ 9 -- EXT. HILL HOUSE--FRONT DOOR -- 9~~
A man dressed in black stands here.
Sirius opens the door.
10 -- INT. GROUND FLOOR--THE HALL -- 10
Sirius: Do come in, sir. You are expected.
MAN: Do you know who I am?
Sirius: Only that you are to be known as Mr. Dean.
Dean: Yes, it said so in the letter. But, why . . . ?
Sirius removes his coat, with a brilliantly white inside.
Mr. Dean sniffs and checks his shoe.
11 -- INT. GROUND FLOOR--LIBRARY -- 11
Hermione and Col. Seamus are here.
Seamus is sipping Cognac and glancing at Hermione.
The doors open, the left one into Col. Seamus.
Sirius: Ah. May I introduce you? Mr. Dean, this is Hermione, the maid. (The two people react with disgust) I see you know each other.
Mr. Dean turns away as Col. Seamus emerges from behind the door.
Dean: Hello.
Seamus: Hello.
I DON'T OWN HARRY POTTER OR CLUE!
Characters:
In Order Of Appearance
Wadsworth ==Sirius
Guard Dogs ==Fluffy
Yvette== Hermione
Mrs.Ho== Snape
Colonel Mustard== Seamus
Mrs. White== Dean
Mrs. Scarlet== Harry
Professor Plum==Draco
Mrs. Peacock== Parvati
Mr. Green== Ron
Mr. Boddy== Pansy
Motorist== Goyle
Cop== Lavendar
J. Edgar Hoover==Neville
Singing Telegram Girl== Crabbe
The opening credits appear over a sky, growing stormy.
~~1 -- EXT. Sirius's CAR--TWILIGHT -- 1~~
Sirius's car travels through the wind of an oncoming storm.
It pulls up to the gate of Hill House.
Hill House is a large, imposing mansion, looking very New England.
Sirius takes out a key and unlocks the gate.
He drives the car up to the front door.
~~2 -- EXT. HILL HOUSE--FRONT DOOR -- 2~~
Sirius exits the car, holding a bag and looking at the three heads of the barking guard Fluffy.
The dog approachs Sirius . . . then jump.
Sirius quickly pulls a big beef bone out of the bag and hurls it to them.
The dog trots away to gnaw on the bone as Sirius rolls up the bag.
Sirius cinches their chain so it won't allow it to reach the door.
He steps toward the door . . . and sniffs.
Sirius pauses and checks the bottom of his feet. Dog crap.
He looks in disgust at the dog, who isn't bothered at all.
~~3 -- INT. GROUND FLOOR--THE HALL -- 3~~
The Hall of Hill House is remarkable, elegant but not gaudy. It is furnished in dark wood, and brass, with crystal chandeliers. There are several doors on each side of the hall and three at the end.
To the left: Lounge and dining room.
To the right: Study, library, and billiard room.
The end: Conservatory, ball room, bathroom, and kitchen.
The stairs are located to the right.
By the staircase is the door to the basement steps.
We hear "Shake, Rattle and Roll" in the background.
Sirius opens the front door of Hill House and wipes off his foot.
He enters and hangs up his coat.
SUPERIMPOSED: NEW ENGLAND 1954
Sirius steps briskly down the Hall steps toward the library.
4 -- INT. GROUND FLOOR--LIBRARY -- 4
The library is a somewhat more comfortable room than the hall, composed of dark colors. All of the walls are covered with books, with the exception of one wall, a window.
Hermione, a young and rather jiggly french maid, is polishing a glass.
The music is much louder.
Sirius enters and turns off the record player.
The music stops.
(He speaks to the maid in a proper English accent.)
Sirius: Is everything ready?
(She replies in a French accent.)
Hermione: Oui, monsieur.
Sirius: You have your instructions?
Hermione nods.
Sirius exits.
Hermione sniffs the air, and then examines the bottom of her shoes.
~~5 -- INT. GROUND FLOOR--KITCHEN -- 5~~
The kitchen is white tile, narrow. There is a meat freezer to the right. A counter leads off to the left.
Snape, the cook, is sharpening a knife.
Joseph McCarthy is speaking on the television in the background.
Sirius enters.
Sirius: Is everything all right, Snape?
Snape turns, knife in hand.
Snape: Dinner will be ready at seven-thirty.
The doorbell rings.
Sirius exits the kitchen.
~~6 -- EXT. HILL HOUSE--FRONT DOOR--NIGHT -- 6 ~~
A man is standing by the front door, being growled at by the Fluffy.
He is not comfortable.
~~7 -- INT. GROUND FLOOR--THE HALL -- 7~~
Sirius opens the door.
Sirius: Good evening.
MAN: Good evening. I don't know if--
Sirius: Yes, indeed, sir, you are expected, Colonel. May I take your coat? It is Colonel Seamus, isn't it?
Seamus: No, that's not my name. My name is Colonel--
Sirius: Pardon me, sir, but tonight you may well feel obliged to my employer for the use of an alias.
Seamus sniffs around and checks his shoe as Sirius hangs his coat.
The pair starts across the hall.
Seamus: And who are you, sir?
Sirius: I'm Sirius, sir. The butler.
~~8 -- INT. GROUND FLOOR--LIBRARY -- 8~~
Hermione is present.
Sirius: Hermione, will you attend to Seamus and give him anything he requires. (glances at them) Within reason, that is.
Sirius exits, closing the doors behind him. The doors have books on the back of them, and so look like a part of the wall.
Seamus: Oh, Sirius, I was--
Seamus turns to discover the doors have disappeared.
The bell rings.
~~ 9 -- EXT. HILL HOUSE--FRONT DOOR -- 9~~
A man dressed in black stands here.
Sirius opens the door.
10 -- INT. GROUND FLOOR--THE HALL -- 10
Sirius: Do come in, sir. You are expected.
MAN: Do you know who I am?
Sirius: Only that you are to be known as Mr. Dean.
Dean: Yes, it said so in the letter. But, why . . . ?
Sirius removes his coat, with a brilliantly white inside.
Mr. Dean sniffs and checks his shoe.
11 -- INT. GROUND FLOOR--LIBRARY -- 11
Hermione and Col. Seamus are here.
Seamus is sipping Cognac and glancing at Hermione.
The doors open, the left one into Col. Seamus.
Sirius: Ah. May I introduce you? Mr. Dean, this is Hermione, the maid. (The two people react with disgust) I see you know each other.
Mr. Dean turns away as Col. Seamus emerges from behind the door.
Dean: Hello.
Seamus: Hello.