Every bit of her being's essence was as sharp and
precise as his katana – predictable and expected. He has etched
every curve of her body into his mind like he has memorized the
undulations of the metal
of his blade. He has memorized the demeanor
in which her limbs swayed and bent like the wrinkles on the hilt of
his sword. He mused at the thought of their comparison - a little
awkward to handle at first but
always dependable…always beautiful –
even when tainted with blood. He knew her - as he knew his sword.
He was always the type that could never surprise himself with his own
capabilities. He knew what
he was made of and he knew what he could
and couldn't do.
So, it was no bolt from the blue when he decided to fall in love with that klutz of a waitress. Sure, she was samurai by blood, but she certainly didn't have the same grace or charisma. However…she certainly had that charm to her that
HE...
JUST...
COULD...
NOT...
RESIST.
And that smile that could melt away the bitterness of his heart – that touch that could wash away the stains of his sins. And he loved her...and he knew her…more than he wanted to…more than he should have…
...and secretly...
...more that she ever allowed him to ever love her.
So it certainly wasn't any mind-blowing revelation to Jin when Fuu decided that she wanted to live by the ocean. The love he had for her was more than reason enough to get over his hatred for the scent of dead fish and sea plants rotting in the sun. Anything he could do to keep her happy – even in the short time he knew they had together. And he knew…from the way she moved – the way she always looked at the sea at every chance she got – that she will never be his entirely. The way she lived her life as if she was always expecting someone to come back to them…to her...was enough for him to know.
Knowing her the way he did, it didn't surprise Jin at all to wake up one day and only to find her gone with nothing but her tanto and her hairpins lying by his side. Recent rumors of a ship from Ryukyuu coming ashore in the next town sent Fuu to pack some of her things and leave him behind.
As he sat at the edge of his bed, staring at the shortened blade she left as a memento for him, it didn't surprise him to contemplate taking his own life. There was nobody else to blame but himself. He knew from the beginning that she longed to be with the other, yet he still threw himself at her feet in reckless abandon – knowing full well that there will be a time when their tryst would come to an end. He knew she would never return to him. The sea was always, always calling out to her – in her waking hours, in her sleep, when she worked, when she played, when she made love to him…even when she told him the she loved him. He knew that it was not the love he wanted, it was not the love he could keep...
...it was love on borrowed time and it was waiting for somebody else.