This story is a description of what would happen if Ichigo's sister, Karin, was the one to get Soul Reaper powers instead of him. It is meant to be a parody.

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or its characters. They belong to whoever owns them which is not me.

'That idiot. Why was he trying to fight that thing?!' Karin thought as she opened her eyes and looked dizzily at the night sky. She had a splitting headache and hurt all over. Just a minute ago, a black monster (that was taller than a building) with a mask on was gripping her in its hand. Soon afterwards, her orange-haired older brother ran out of the house. He saw what was going on and seemed prepared to fight the thing. Karin told him to run, though she had little doubt that she would die if no one rescued her. That monster seemed ready to squeeze her life out and then eat her, and she knew that it was just as capable of doing the same thing to her brother.

Next thing she knew, she was slumped over with her back was against a concrete wall. Her brother, Ichigo, was about 7 yards away talking with a girl in black who was sitting against a wall like Karin was. She couldn't hear what they were saying, but it looked like the girl in black was about to kill Ichigo. At least, she was pointing a sword at him. Ichigo (the idiot!) was just going to let her do it! Karin didn't bother to think of what was really happening. Panicked, she ignored her throbbing head and the monster that was steadily coming closer to them and ran towards the two as fast as her wobbly legs could take her.

"Stop it!" she said as she got between Ichigo and the sword. She saw the surprise on the girl's face as she stabbed Karin through with the sword meant for Ichigo.

What happened next was a real shock to Karin. She was wearing a black kimono and was gripping a long katana (a Japanese sword).

'This is a really…weird dream,' she thought. A bit creepy as well. She looked condescendingly at the monster, to the sword in her hand, and back to the monster. She was powerless to fight it before but now that she had the sword…

She sliced it in half the next moment. She was actually slightly disappointed that it didn't put up more of a fight and disappeared into thin air with only one hit.

"Karin?" Ichigo said.

Looking closer at the girl, she had wounds that were profusely bleeding.

"We need to get you to our hospital!" she said, dropping the sword and starting towards her house to get help transporting her.

"Don't. I can heal myself," said the girl.

Karin stopped in her tracks.

"Wha-what happened? Why did you do that?" Ichigo asked her.

"She was about to kill you and you were just going to let it happen, so I rescued you. A little thanks?"

"Don't do anything so stupid ever again!" he said as he pulled her in for a hug.

"She'll have to do more dangerous things, though. She's part shinigami now," said the girl.

"Please don't talk about me like I'm not here," Karin said. Ichigo released her from the hug.

"My name's Rukia. Kuchiki Rukia."

"Karin," she said.

"Just now, you absorbed some of my powers through my sword. I was going to give the powers to Ichigo, but you got them instead. I'm a Soul Reaper, and I come from a place called Soul Society. Part of my job is to purify hollows by cutting them. Until I regain my full power, you'll have to purify hollows in my stead," Rukia said as her hand glowed where she placed it on her wounds.

"What?" Karin said. "Whatever. Do you think you could turn me back to normal now?"

"I'll explain everything tomorrow," Rukia said.

"I can't let my sister do something dangerous like that. She doesn't have to help you kill hollows," Ichigo said.

Karin assumed that what they meant by 'hollow' was the monster she destroyed.

"I'm not too keen on doing that either," said Karin. "Those monsters are ugly."

"Ridiculous! You did fine just now," Rukia replied.

"I don't like weird things. This is just a dream; I should wake up any moment now. And I don't believe in 'hollows' or Soul Reapers or whatever," Karin said. She ignored Rukia's protests and went back into her house. Ichigo stayed outside to help Rukia.

Once inside, she looked for her sister Yuzu, who had also been injured in the attack. She found her sleeping softly in her bed without any injuries. That was when Karin noticed that all her own injuries had been healed as well. She started to wonder how that could've happened, but shook off those thoughts. After, she was probably having a dream. A really vivid dream.

*The next day*

She was slightly surprised when she got ready for school and noticed that there was still a monster-sized hole in the side of it.

'I guess it wasn't a dream after all,' she thought. The rest of her family, though, apparently thought that a truck crashed into the house. Even Ichigo seemed to have forgotten everything that happened the night before.

At school, some kids asked Karin about the 'truck that crashed into her house'. She didn't tell them that the insanely big hole in the house was caused by a monster that wanted to eat Ichigo.

Rukia greeted Karin as she was walking home from school. She was wearing the uniform for Ichigo's high school.

"Hey Karin," she said, "come with me."

"Where are we going?" asked Karin.

"Someplace where you can train your Soul Reaper abilities," she said.

"I already told you that I don't want to do that stuff," said Karin.

"Ichigo has a high density of spiritual power, so many hollows are likely going to want to eat him. He can't protect himself right now, so that means that you have to protect him. And to do that you need to train," said Rukia.

"You have a point."

They ended up in an open plain. Rukia pulled Karin's Soul Reaper self from her body and taught her how to most efficiently kill hollows.

After training for an hour and getting rid of a hollow, she went home with Rukia who needed a place to stay, since she couldn't go back to Soul Society due her lack of power. She was even too weak to stay in her Soul Reaper form and needed to stay in an artificial body.

*Later that night*

Ichigo knocked on the door to Karin's room. She opened it while Rukia hid in a closet.

"What is it?" asked Karin.

"You…don't have to go hollow-hunting. What I mean is that it's a bad idea."

So he did remember what happened last night. "But it wasn't a bad idea for you?"

"I can take care of myself," said Ichigo who seemed slightly offended.

"Not right now you can't," said Karin. "Those things are going to attack you again, but you don't have enough power to protect yourself."

Ichigo looked frustrated.

"Then I just need to get some power. If I do that, I'll be able to protect you and Yuzu and dad."

"How are you going to do that?"

"I don't know," admitted Ichigo.

"I have to do this right now, brother. Someone needs to protect our family," said Karin.

"Promise me you'll be careful, though."

"I'll try."

He left her room with a determined glint in his eyes. Rukia was finally able to exit the closet.

"You need to make that thing bigger," Rukia said, rubbing her sore neck.

So…that was the first chapter about how Karin got her powers. Some 'ridiculous' things will happen later, I guarantee it ;).