Title: Shock

Author: Mistress Sara

Rating: M

Disclaimer: I own a whole lot of nothing.

Kate's hands shook as she held the freshly fired gun. Her ears were ringing, her eyes burned as the smoke from the gun wafted towards her. There was blood splattered on the wall behind where the jeweler had been standing. Tunnel vision, that's what she was experiencing… the only thing she could focus on was the empty space in front of her.

From the floor, Roger stared up at her, almost in a daze. He couldn't believe she had it in her… well, actually he could. What he couldn't believe was that she just shot someone to save his life. Roger became aware of the pressure on top of him. Bolger laid motionless on top of him. Warm blood was seeping from the gunshot wound through Roger's shirt, causing his own skin to feel sticky and cold from the substance.

With a less than graceful shove, Roger managed to roll the lifeless body onto the rug next to them. Slowly he managed to get to his feet, then took on the task of approaching Kate. She still stood there, staring at the wall, her hands trembling uncontrollably. Her arms had to be growing tired from being held out like that.

"Kate?" He spoke softly, coaxing her arms down and slipping the gun from her hands. "Kate?"

Her head shook, suddenly hearing his voice managed to shake her from the stupor. For the first time she looked away from the wall and towards the man standing next to her.

"Roger?" Her voice was just as unsteady as the rest of her. "I killed him… I killed him, didn't I?"

"Yes." He answered bluntly. "Kate, we need to get out of here, now."

He moved her towards the stairs, bending down briefly to pick up the real list from the floor. She was much more compliant than usual, allowing him to guide her down the stairs and outside. He pulled his jacket closed to cover the bloodstain before pulling a handkerchief to sop up the blood flowing from his nose.

"Are you all right?" Kate asked, looking up at him as he pulled her to his side.

"Yes. Just keep walking." He ventured a glance behind to confirm that there was no one following them.

"You don't look all right."

"We'll discuss that later."

"Where are we going?"

"A safe place."

"But…"

"Not now, Kate." He answered harshly, continuing to pull her along.

They walked for what felt like forever, at some point leaving the sidewalk and entering an empty alleyway. The also seemed to shift positions, as Kate grew wearier Roger had taken hold of her hand, continuing to lead her. They finally came to a stop outside of splintered backdoor.

Roger ventured one last look around the alley before pulling out a key to unlock the door.

"In." He pushed Kate in quickly before following, closing the door behind them. Despite the appearance, the door was surprisingly sturdy. Kate could tell by the sound it made when he slammed it.

"Roger… what are we going to…" He held his hand up, reaching behind her for a light-switch.

"I am going to get in touch with my handler. We're going to take care of this situation."

She allowed him to lead her to the living room. Sitting quietly while he made a phone call. She observed him. The blood still stained his face. Kate had an overwhelming urge to clean his face... tend to his wounds. It was an unusual feeling for her to have towards the man who had messed up her exit plan so beautifully.

"Yes. I managed to take Blue Bird with me. She's safe… No, things didn't go quite as planned. I had to shoot him."

Kate began to make a noise of disagreement but Roger held up a finger for her to stay silent.

"No, it could not be avoided."

Kate continued to listen as he explained how Bolger came back early and caught him at the open safe. How they fought, struggled for the gun. Then Roger explained that he was on the floor when Bolger pulled a knife, he had no choice but to shoot. Part of Kate wished that that were the truth. That it really was Roger who had pulled the trigger. She didn't notice that her hands had started to shake again or that he had hung up the phone.

"Kate?" She looked up at him, now standing in front of her. "You'll stay here for the night. My handler will be by in a few hours to debrief us. So I suggest we get our story straight."

"Why did you tell him that you shot Bolger?"

"Because it's easier this way. There won't be ramifications if I say that I did it. But you're from the US…"

"They would arrest me?"

"Without a second thought."

"But—Roger, I—I- I can't talk to you like this. Where's the lavatory?"

He looked at her confused, she stood and met his expression with one of determination.

"It's just through here."

"Is this some sort of safe house?"

"Something like that. My flat."

She followed him through a narrow hallway, to a small bathroom under the stairs. It was a very bare bones guest bathroom, just a toilet and sink.

"Sit. Do you have any first aid items around?"

"In the medicine cabinet."

"Good. Sit." She put the lid down on the toilet before forcing him to sit. Now it was he who watched. It was like when he watched her on that first flight, when she had been assigned to swap out his passport information. Her expression was set with determination as she pulled out a roll of gauze and bottle of antiseptic.

"Get hurt often?" She asked, nodding towards the fully stocked cabinet.

"I try not to." He winced as she touched the cool liquid to his nose.

"It's not broken is it?"

"Just bruised."

"What about your ribs?"

"What about them?"

"Bol…" She choked on his name. "He got you a few times in the ribs."

"It's nothing." He tried pushing her hands away, but groaned in pain.

"That doesn't sound like nothing. Let's get that shirt off."

"Kate!"

"Roger!" She replied simply, letting him know that she wasn't going to drop this. The turtleneck was a horrible choice. It was a slow process removing the bloodied shirt, but once it was off Kate was able to survey the damage. He was badly bruised, but Kate wasn't sure yet if anything was broken. Before he could stop her, there was a set of cold fingers pressing lightly across the tender area.

"Jesus, Kate!"

"That doesn't sound like the reserved British spy." She chided softly, continuing to move her fingers across his skin. "Nothing's broken."

"How do you know how to do all this?"

"Pan Am expects the best."

"You're often called on to check for broken ribs?"

She paused for a moment, turning to put the first aid items back in the cabinet.

"I was studying to be a nurse before I found flying."

"That's a bit of a jump in careers."

"I discovered that the hospital wasn't far enough away from my family."

Roger just nodded, not looking to prompt her confessions any further. He had the notion that the less he knew about these women that flew in and out of his life was for the better. That way he didn't get too involved when it came time for them to leave. But there had been something about Kate. Ever since that first meeting, when she looked up at him with that flush of determination and assured him that any underestimation of her abilities would be ill advised.

"I'd suggest an easier shirt." She said, turn around again just as he stood. Because of the close quarters they were suddenly pressed together, his bare chest against her clothed body. Kate's raised hand was now resting against his bicep.

Kate had a flashback to earlier in the day when she sprung that kiss on him. It was far from unpleasant, which of course kept her from apologizing when they left the shop.

"Was that entirely necessary?" He asked, still using that ridiculous accent.

"An expensive piece of jewelry for a part time mistress? I should've kissed you much longer than that." She answered flippantly, not realizing that her arm was still linked through his.

"And what would you know about mistresses?"

"A right side more than you apparently."

"I'm not married."

"I'm not surprised." He looked at her for a moment before quickly looking away.

"Yes, well-"

"I didn't mean it like that, Anderson. It just… it seems like you're very dedicated to your job."

"You're one to talk."

"It's a fair exchange." She shrugged, stopping to face him. Before anything else could be said a cab came zooming by, forcing Kate closer to him in an effort to not be hit. She glanced up and smiled.

"We keep finding ourselves in this position." She murmured, finally looking up to make eye contact.

"Yes…" He answered simply, feeling himself starting to lower his head in the hopes that their lips would meet again. Before that could happen however, the phone rang in the other room, forcing them apart.

"I should really get that." Roger quickly left the room, leaving Kate to finish cleaning up the supplies. She folded his turtleneck, threw away the bloodied gauze, and washed the blood from her hands. Finally she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror. She didn't recognize herself at first… kind of like when she had too much to drink and would end up starring in the mirror for hours, wondering if it was her real reflection. Now when she looked at herself all she could think was murderer.

She murdered a man and wasn't even aloud to take the blame for it.

Kate pulled the door closed and for the first time that night allowed herself to cry.

That's how Roger found her a few minutes later.

More to come, reviews appreciated.