Run, Loki, Run
A.N.: Marvel owns this universe, but I own a Loki Bobblehead, various Loki action figures and the first Avengers comic (good, not mint). Lawrence Research Laboratories is the home of Xandria products.
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It was close to dawn when the sound of clinking glass woke Tony, who had fallen asleep on the sofa. Someone had turned the television off, probably Bruce. Tony's eyes finally managed to focus, though his brain hadn't caught up quite yet. Loki stood there, looking down at him, a generous glass of Tony's expensive scotch in one hand and what looked to be an Egg McMuffin in the other. "Booze and McDonalds? Must have been some kind of a night."
"Yes, I suppose it was. What I can remember of it, anyway." Loki winced. "I have a bit of a headache."
"Is this one of your weird ass social calls? 'Cause if it is, I'm gonna have to get back to you later. When I wake up."
"Well not exactly, more of an F.Y.I. visit. There is a possibility that my father might make an appearance, or perhaps Thor. You have been warned. Oh, and I will repair the damage to your Malibu mansion, so don't concern yourself." Then he was gone, taking the glass of scotch with him.
"What the hell?" Tony said as he grabbed his cell phone, and made a call. About an hour later, his ranting woke the rest of those Avengers in residence.
A yawning Steve asked "What are you yelling about Tony?"
"I've been Loki'd." Tony showed Steve pictures of the damage. "My place in Malibu looks like a rock band trashed it. No, worse. Keith Moon never did this much damage and he was legendary."
Bruce glanced at the pictures. "Must have been some party."
"Loki said he had fun, and that he'd take care of the repairs. Then he teleported. Bastard." Tony's cell phone rang and he answered. It was Pepper, and judging from Tony's expression, it was not a happy call. "I don't care if he is immortal. I'm gonna kill Thor's little brother. I'll find a way, 'cause I'm a genius. Turn on the TV. CNN Headline News."
It was a breaking story. According to the reporter, police had responded to a loud party complaint at Tony Stark's mansion in Malibu, and two officers were attacked by a black stallion that was in the living room. Tony Stark himself did not appear to be present and the revelers were taken in for questioning. The horse was given to animal control for safekeeping, until the owner could be located.
"Is it just me, or did that horse have green eyes?"
"Dammit."
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It was around noon when Thor arrived. He nodded in greeting to Steve Rogers. "Has my brother been here?"
"Several hours ago. Oh, and you should know that Tony is going to kill him."
"He will have to get in line behind my father."
"Is that Thor?" Tony's voice came from the kitchen. "Tell him I'm gonna kill his little brother." Tony walked into the living room, eating a Philly Cheese Steak sandwich. "He trashed my Malibu mansion. There were cops. And a horse I think was your brother. It was on the news. Pepper had to fly out to handle the press, and I want Pepper here. So, not happy."
"My apologies, friend Tony. I am here to find my brother and bring him home. He did not have permission to leave Asgard. He managed to slip away through the use of a clever illusion and a servant spelled to resemble him. My father is angry."
"Yeah. I'm not so happy either. How old is your brother anyway?"
"Loki is of age, but still very young by Asgardian reckoning."
"A bratty godling then."
Thor shrugged. "He has not matured yet in some ways. He will in time. I was difficult myself at the same age."
"Yeah. But I bet you didn't kill a bunch of people and try to conquer a planet."
"No, I did not." Thor sighed. "I must go and find him before he causes too much trouble."
As Thor exited the building, he passed a UPS delivery person with a big box on a dolly. A call was made to the upstairs penthouse, and the UPS person was cleared to bring the package upstairs. Turned out the delivery was for Steve and he signed for it.
"You finally using that Avengers credit card, Steve?"
"No. I haven't ordered anything." Steve looked very puzzled. "It's from some place called Lawrence Research Laboratories."
"Well, open it."
Steve opened it, and started removing things and setting them on the sofa. There were ball gags, ticklers, latex whips, fuzzy cuffs, edible and crotchless panties, restraints, a leather paddle, a wooden paddle shaped like a heart, chocolate dust and a feather, DVDs, cock rings, vibrating cock rings, a couple of blow up dolls with lifelike hair, and something called a cyberskin cyber sex buddy. Steve backed away like he had just emptied a box of hissing serpents. "What the heck?"
Tony walked over and started looking through the pile. "That's a lot of sex toys, Steve." Tony looked at the order receipt. "A thousand dollars worth of them. I didn't know you had it in you. It's always the quiet ones."
"I didn't order this stuff." As one the three men said "Loki" and then Steve said something totally unexpected. "Son of a bitch."
"Yep." Tony said, holding up a pair of crotchless panties and imagining them on Pepper. With a sigh, he dropped them back into the box. "We'll straighten this mess out and send the stuff back."
Steve's cell phone began to ring and he answered it.
"Do NOT tell me you just used your S.H.I.E.L.D. issued Avengers card to buy sex toys, Captain Rogers." Fury's voice was audible to all in the room. "A thousand dollars worth of sex toys."
"I didn't sir. I'm thinking Loki found my card and used it."
The profanity that came from Steve's phone at that point was astounding and awe inspiring (even Tony was awed, and that's pretty impressive). Finally Steve put his cell phone down and went to get some package tape to reseal the box. "You know, it's times like these that I wish the super soldier serum didn't prevent me from getting drunk."
"I'll have to drink for both of us then."
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Thor was always a step or three behind his brother. Following news stories of marauding lawn gnomes, spontaneous group public nudity, attacking park pigeons, leg humping park squirrels and the like. He finally decided the hell with it, he'd go hang out with Jane until someone came to escort him home. Let his father bellow at him.
Meanwhile back in Malibu...
Loki was taking a break. It was turning out to be more of a challenge to restore Tony Stark's Malibu mansion than he had anticpated. He was, actually, rather appalled at the damage and unsure of how much of it was his fault. His memory was still fuzzy. He heard movement behind him, took a deep breath and turned around, fully expecting to find his father standing there. His green eyes widened in shock. "Mother?"
Frigga smiled and hugged her son. "Though I have managed to calm your father somewhat, things are not at a point where the two of you should be left alone together. So I am here instead. It has been a long time since I travelled the ways."
"I must admit, I am much relieved that it is you." Loki smiled. "I was deceptive, which is to be expected of me. But father will see me as having been openly defiant, which is a more serious matter. In my defense, I had fulfilled every one of father's commands, jumped through his hoops, did everything but balance a ball on my nose. Yet, the restrictions on me remained. It was entirely unfair and I'd had enough."
"So, what you are saying is that you threw another tantrum." Figga sighed. "At least this time you didn't try to destroy another realm or conquer another realm, and you didn't kill anyone. So, I would say that's progress, of a sort."
"I doubt that father will see things that way. Let me finish up here, then I will return with you. Thor got tired of chasing me and he's with Jane Foster. Unless father has need of him, I'd leave him there."
Frigga nodded and sipped a glass of white wine while she waited for her son to finish, then they returned home.
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As to what happened to Loki when he got home? I'll leave that for your imagination, lovely readers, so fill it in as you wish.