first story for the clique, all reviews would be appreciated.
bursting at the seams
keep your head up, beautiful, they'd kill to see you fall.
she tells herself that over and over again, but the only thing on her mind is pills. god, how she loves the way the bottle clicks when she opens them, and she loves that feeling of oblivion when she pops one into her mouth. sometimes she gets greedy and takes two instead, because she's young and free and she can do whatever the hell she likes.
(it's not like she's damaging herself, is she?)
::
she's on the bathroom floor with her bottle, tipping it over and counting the small white tablets that fall out. one, two, three, four. she opens her mouth and swallows them all whole, waiting for that rush of anticipation and when it doesn't come straight away she gets MAD, so mad that she kicks the toilet seat and ends up bruising her foot.
but she won't cry, because she's massie block. beautiful, fabulous, unbreakable.
(keep telling yourself that, maybe you'll begin to believe it if you say it enough.)
::
she's not dependant on pills, and she doesn't care what anyone says.
she just needs a getaway, a place where she can just forget about the world. she can be whoever she wants, because the pills give her courage. they give her the guts to say and do the things she normally wouldn't dream of. the comedown is awful, but she guesses that every form of refuge has it's price. she'll do anything if it means she can get the same buzz that they give her, because lately, nothing is feeling the same.
(welcome to the wonderful world of drug addiction, darling, don't you just love it?)
::
no, she doesn't fucking love it.
three months down the line and she needs them. her mom's stopped keeping them around the house because she believes that they do her more harm than good. every night she listens to her parents talk about her behaviour, and how they never ever thought their daughter would be a drug addict.
that bit hurts her, because when she hears those two words, she automatically thinks of a pale scrawny girl with needle marks all up her arm, standing on the street corner begging for spare change.
she's not like that.
but who is she again?
massie block, of course. beautiful, unbreakable and fabulous.
(but is it possible that she's starting to break?)
::
she's lying on the bathroom floor, cold and shaking, her lips gone blue.
she can feel herself slipping into a dark slumber, her breath hitching and the bottle of pills lying somewhere to her right. she wants to cry out and scream, but nobody's home and what would be the point? she's massie block, and she can look after herself.
she tries to move, but it hurts too much and she doesn't have the energy or the breath left to bother trying. she's scared, really scared. she feels sick and dizzy and her heart rate is going far too fast. she needs a drink of water, or perhaps a nice long sleep, but she's shaking so much she can't even see.
she tries to move forward and in the process, hits her head off something, the wall perhaps, and everything starts to go black.
::
she's massie block, and she's slumped on the bathroom floor with vomit all down the front of her t-shirt, and a bottle of pills lying somewhere to her right.
(she likes to believe she's unbreakable too, but that's a lie, because she's been broken for years.)
a/n: reviews would make me a very happy child, so please leave one telling me what you thought. c: