"So what if the idiot monkey got himself lost?"

"We can't just leave him, that would be cruel!"

"I don't care. If you're going to find him, find him. And do it quietly."

"Aww, he does care- ****!"

Hakkai chuckled helplessly as Sanzo drilled several shots dangerously close to Gojyo's head. "Now, now, he's been gone for only an hour, he's not lost. We just can't find him." Sanzo's jaundiced eye skewered Hakkai's grin.

"He's lost. And my bet is he's off stuffing his face with MY credit card. And I'm out of smokes. Go bring me back some and find him before the Sanbutshin decide to shut down the account because he's run up the credit. I'll wait here."

Gojyo picked himself up off the ground, patting several areas with care. Sanzo must be pissed/worried – he'd been shooting with less margin for error than normal. "Come on Hakkai, we've got a monkey to find. Do y'suppose if we used bananas, he'd find us? We'll leave the monk here to stew." The door slammed behind him as a bullet embedded itself in the door frame.

Two hours later, Hakkai was starting to get worried and Gojyo had stopped hitting on girls. Goku was nowhere to be found. All the restaurants in the little town had been searched and all the food stalls said they hadn't seen the monkey. Hakuryuu was flapping about, but still hadn't seen him.

"Have you tried the monkey booth?" an elderly stall-keeper asked. "We can't pry the kiddies away from it. They're always poking things through the bars and trying to get the monkeys to pay with them." Hakkai thanked her for the suggestion as Gojyo winked flirtatiously at her, causing the sweet little old lady to blush like a girl, cackling merrily.

"What do you want to bet that he's finally found his own kind?" Gojyo asked in exasperation as they came up on the brightly lit booth. Several monkeys swung about in the clean, large cage, hooting merrily and playing with each other.

And in front of the cage, staring like a statue, was their human brother, complete with bed head, a carton of smokes and a rapt expression.

"Goku!" Hakkai called. "Thank goodness, we've been looking for ages!" Goku started and turned. "Hey, Hakkai. Sorry, I lost track of time. I'd never seen a monkey before. You guys always say I'm like a monkey, but I'm nothing like them at all!" He dumped the carton of smokes in Gojyo's direction, ignoring the indignant squawk.

"Really?" Hakkai asked in amusement. "Yeah! Look, I don't groom myself-" "You should," Gojyo interjected.

"Shut up. I don't eat bugs,"

"The only thing you don't eat"

"Shut up! And I don't go 'ook-ook, aack-aack, eeq-eeq!' either!"

"Sound just like 'em!"

"SHUT UP!"

"Gojyo, please. I'm finding this quite informative." Hakkai smiled, taking the carton as consolation.

"Really, and look! I don't have fur all over. I don't have a tail. The only thing we have in common is the amount we eat. And we like to pick fights. And we like to play. And we like to be annoying. And we like to make noise."

Hakkai chuckled. "Of course not. Nothing in common. Now, let's go get something to eat."

"Honestly Hakkai, Gojyo's more like a cockroach than I am a monkey." Hakkai had to restrain Gojyo as he asked with interest, "Oh?"

"Yeah. I mean, look, Gojyo's ugly, has antennae, scurries after girls all the time and is nastily indestructible."

At which point, Hakkai was forced to let go of Gojyo and Goku was forced to run all the way back to the hotel. He strolled along leisurely, picking up dinner with the credit card he had pocketed as Goku ran by him. When he arrived at the hotel, all the lights were blazing and he had to sigh as a bullet went through the glass window. They were going to be paying for that and Hakkai would be the one apologizing.

"Take that, you idiot monkey!" "Cockroach! Old geezer, can't catch me, go scurry after some girls!" "YOU'RE BOTH IDIOTS, SHUT UP!" A terrified guest bolted out the door and Hakkai sighed.

Enough was enough. He rearranged his face and walked in.

Five minutes later, the inn was quiet.

They had forgotten one thing. Goku may be the monkey, Gojyo the kappa/cockroach and Sanzo the irritable monk and intrepid leader.

But Hakkai was the mother hen.

And he ruled the roost with a demonically sweet smile.