*I don't own Twilight. This is a oneshot. Sometimes when I'm writing multi-chapter stories I get a writer's block with that story and make up a funny one. This story takes place in Newmoon, right when Bella was about to jump off the cliff. In this version, Leah saw her before jump and could rightfully tell her that she was a crack head.*
There was a storm raging outside. Leah Clearwater sat at home, reading another horror story, this one was about vampires. Sighing, she looked out the window at the rain. It was really bucketing down. Not to mention the whirling winds, and the deathly chill. Just another empty, uninteresting day.
"Are you okay, honey?" Sue asked, concerned.
Sue worried over her daughter's well-being. Lately, she had been getting in more and more fights at school. And it seemed that whenever she opened her mouth, something spiteful, rude, sad, or indifferent came out. Leah had stopped being the quiet, bashful girl that Sue knew her to be. Leah was always the type of girl who adored boy bands, cheesy romantic books, and stuffed pink animals. Now Leah seemed to hate the world and everything in it. Sue saw her cut up her favorite romance novel and stuck the pieces in a recyle bin. On a different occasion, she heard Leah cussing someone out on the phone using swears that Sue didn't even know until she heard them and picked up a dictonary. Sue had never imagined Leah could seem so...dark.
"I'm fine," Leah answered, in a dead voice. "I think I'm going out for a walk." Leah pulled her rain coat from the chair.
"It's like thirty degrees out there, hon. You'll catch a cold," Sue disapproved.
"Like you care," Leah retorted, leaving with her book in hand.
Leah headed down to the beach, in a horrible mood. She had heard the terrible news. Sam, her ex, was engaged to her cousin. Sam had taken one look at Emily, and POOF! They were inseperable. Leah didn't get it. Sam told her he'd stay with her forever, and that he had only eyes for her. And Emily was Leah's best friend ever since kindergarden. Leah had never thought that she would ever date the same boy that left her heartbroken. But she was wrong.
She was lost in thought until she saw a figure on the way to the highest cliff. Curious, Leah stared hard at it. Who in the world would be stupid enough to cliff jump in this weather? She thought, confused. After Leah realised she had nothing better to do, she decided to see why this person was jumping off a cliff when it was almost cold enough to freeze water.
"What the hell are you doing?" Leah demanded, snarkily.
"Cliff diving," she answered, turning around.
Leah was surprised to see Bella, Charlie's daughter, about to throw herself off a damn cliff. For a girl who's mother is a teacher, she really has no common sense.
She raised an eyebrow. "You've got to be kidding me. In this weather? Puh-lease. You've got to be out of your clumsy ass mind."
Bella gave Leah a weak smile. "Maybe I am."
"I mean of all the things you could be doing, listening to music, going for a bike ride, reading," She pointed to the book in her hand,"Why in the almighty universe wouldyou decide to fling yourself off a cliff during the middle of a godforsaken storm?
Bella looked Leah square in the eye for the first time. "You wouldn't understand," She told her, sniffing.
"Try me," Leah said, suspecting that the girl was even more clueless than she had thought. And Leah was correct.
Bella said nothing, and stared down at the fierce waves bellow her. What a ninny.
Leah chuckled. "It's over that Edward boy, it's it?"
How insane. Everyone knew the story of how silly Bella Swan had gotten left in the forest by her 'charming' boyfriend, and she tried to follow him. Bella ended up so lst she didn't even know which direction was north. Meanwhile, everbody else is on a wild goose chase to find her dumb ass. How could anyone forget that?
"You wouldn't understand," Bella repeated.
Leah snorted, amused. This girl must've been really stupid. Everybody knew by now not to stick around Leah for too long, or you'd get mauled. And Leah had no more nor pity for whiny losers like Bella Swan.
"Oh, I understand alright. I understand that you are a dork that has no life outside her boyfriend," She smirked,"Whoops, I mean ex-boyfriend. And the most pathetic thing is that you've only been here since last Febuary, and he left you in November. Get yourself a life! You didn't even know him for a year!"
"You've never been in love before. You wouldn't know what it feels like."
Then Bella clutched her stomach, dramatically, as if she had cramps. If Leah wasn't so pissed by her comment, she might of doubled over laughing. Bella was really dumb if she thought she could get away with making Leah angry. No one makes Leah angry. Not unless you want to have only one arm.
"Yeah, I have. And guess what, you insult to females everywhere? He left me for my own bestfriend/cousin, at the drop of an eye! We were dating since I was fourteen! But do you see me jumping off cliffs like some sort of stunt woman? Or acting all dramatic and shit? No, you don't.
Bella's expression changed. "Edward," She muttered, dazed.
Leah rolled her eyes. "Edward my ass. I'm shocked that he didn't leave you earlier."
"Leah?" She heard Sue call from the window. "Dinner!"
"Well, it's time for me to go. I wish that I could say I enjoyed having this conversation with you, but honestly, I haven't," Leah turned around, ready to leave. But she wasn't done tormenting Bella yet. She tossed the vampire book at her feet.
"Before I go, I think you should read this book. It'd be wonderful if you got some knowledge into your empty skull."
And with that, Leah left Bella to stare at the book, her mouth forming an 'O' of horror. Leah wouldn't understand why she reacted so strongly to the book until a little bit later, but she jumped off the cliff after she saw the title. Stupid girl. Leah mused, listening to her crazed scream.
By the time Leah had reached the house, Sue was there, waiting. "I heard an awful scream coming from where you were...did she try to kill herself?"
Leah smirked. She then, in her best imatation of Bella's voice Leah answered her mother's question. Sort of.
"You wouldn't understand."
*I made this story knowing that a lot of people would object to me bashing on Bella , but I also knew that majority of the population knows that Bella sucks and would get a kick out of this.*