You should never fall in love. Never ever. You should at least not fall for someone you couldn't get. Do not choose a love that can't work out.
Love… Did she love him?
Yes. Yes, she did, but she shouldn't! Susan sighed. She had thought of this so much. Always the same feelings – bitterness, questioning, hurt. Not at all the happiness she'd read about. Only pain.
Susan Pevensie had been like this since they returned from Narnia, the second and last journey. Quite, thoughtful. Bitter. But mostly sad. There wasn't a day without her thinking of him. Her siblings were worrying sick.
Him – her all to far away prince. All the memories… Why couldn't she just stow them away? Hide them in a black box, and stuff it away, deep into her mind.
She couldn't.
The memories were so painful, and yet she was not sure… Did she want to forget him? In that case she'd forget Narnia… The beautiful land where Susan and her siblings ruled, as Kings and Queens. Did she want to forget all of those wonderful years?
No.
She wanted to forget him, not all of Narnia. But she couldn't think about one thing, without thinking of the other as well.
"Caspian" she said, quite, with lowered head, so that nobody would see her tears. In her mind, she saw, again, the Memory. That Memory, which hurt the most.
"I wish we had had more time together." Pleading, dark eyes that bored into hers. A small, sad smile upon her lips, and those terrible words coming from her own mouth;
"It wouldn't have worked anyway."
Susan Pevensie cried, so quiet, that nobody could hear her tears. But she could feel them. Burning, and yet cold as ice, on their way down her cheeks.
'Why?' she asked, once again. 'Caspian, why'd you do this to me? Capturing my heart without giving it back. Now I'm losing not only you, but all of Narnia as well.'
Susan couldn't bear it any more. Soon enough, she knew, all of her memories would be gone. They'd be cold and stiff, without life and without emotions. Susan would be a cold shell, and she'd be lost. Queen Susan the Gentle would die, and be lost forever, while Susan Pevensie would forget Narnia and the happiest times of her life.
The though scared her, but it felt welcoming as well, when Susan once again cried herself to sleep.
How did Susan feel after her last trip to Narnia? After that bittersweet kiss with a prince she couldn't get? Well, as I listened to the soundtrack for Prince Caspian, I came up with this. You'd make my day if you take time to review and tell me what you think, and if you see any misses in the language, please do tell! I hope you like this tragic little piece of story, thanks for reading :)