Eclare: An escape

Chapter 1: Introduction

It happens

All the time. They tried to hide it. They tried to deny it. But I knew.

And I know, no matter how much hiding and denying they commit, no matter how much talking they do, I know that its just not okay. And its not going to be okay, at least not for a while.

I don't want to think about it. It hurts. Deep where it matters, it hurts. It hurts to know that the people who told you what to believe are the people that cause you the most pain. I don't blame them. I know that its not their fault that things are the way they are, but I just cant help but think that maybe if they just tried just a little harder it would go back. It would all go back. Back to when I didn't know how good I had it and the only pathetic thing that kept me up at night was a cheating boyfriend, instead of my mind flooding with thoughts about the past and the future and what could of happened and what would happen and how I wish it would all just stop.

I glance at the clock. 2:58 A.M Wonderful. I wish this was the first time. The first time that I just sat here all night, in the dark,having these thoughts haunt me. I need a distraction. I need some relief.

I don't want to think about it . I don't want to cry anymore.

I look around the room. For something, anything, to distract me, to put me at ease. And they caught my eye. Eli's headphones.

Perfect.

I slip them on and I smell his scent. It was, calming, almost therapeutic.

I ease into the headphones to drown out my mind.

I don't want to hear their screaming voices, that have hopeless tones hidden deep inside, because I know they know that its too late

I close my eyes

I don't want to see their faces plastered with fake smiles.

Even though they're not screaming and they're not smiling right now, I still hear it and I still see it, I always do.

Except for when I have the escape that Eli gave me.

His headphones hugging my ears securely.

His aroma calming me, distracting me, chasing away those unwanted thoughts.

Even if its only for this moment Eli gave me relief.