disclaimer-don't own junjou romantica or egoist if i did,......yeah you know the rest

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Hiroki sighed as he sat down on the couch, Nowaki had left for work he had been called in this weekend. Its not like that surprised him though, Nowaki was always working now it seemed. It wasn't that fact that bothered him as much as this one,the fact that him working all the time meant he'd be around that sempai of his.

He let out a growl just thinking of him, always flirting with Nowaki and making sure to do it right when he was around, always holding onto his Nowaki. Hiroki widened his eyes at noting what he had just thought...had he really just referred to Nowaki as 'his'?

He shook his head, he had to stop getting so worked up over these things. Though he had to admit it was getting rather lonely without Nowaki here. He let out another sigh as he stood up. He had tried to keep himself distracted but it wasn't as easy as it sounded. He walked to his bookshelf and grabbed one from the many shelves then walked over and sat back down.

Now they barely got to see each other, with Nowaki working all the time and Hiroki with his own job. He frowned in a slightly annoyed manor as he looked at his book, only Nowaki could make him think like this, actually come to think of it he was the only one who could make him act in a manor such as this. It ticked him off really that someone like Nowaki could rile him up so much, what ticked him off even more was the fact that Nowaki was so clueless sometimes when other people tried to take advantage of him. What else could he say....they're relationship was in a slump.

"God Nowaki quit invading my thoughts" he said in annoyance as he put his book on the table. He leaned back on the couch. Why was he thinking about this so much anyways. He shook his head again clearing off any thoughts of doubt, not again would he let this happen, he would not let his thoughts of doubt endanger the condition of his relationship again.

Besides he already knew from experience that his doubts were always wrong, and it always made him do stupid things then. It would be nice just once if his mind didn't run wild....stupid imagination of his. It always made him think up irrational and crazy things. He could recall one time when he was a child,his class went on a field trip, and Akihiko had left to go to the bathroom and was gone a few hours and he got the idea he had been captured by aliens, when he had actually just been wandering around the halls.

He sighed and closed his eyes and let himself drift off. This was a bad idea though because were did his mind drift to....that area of doubt. What if Nowaki was working late on purpose....was he avoiding him. Maybe he was getting bored.....maybe he wanted someone who wasn't at a higher level then he was, maybe he wanted someone more like him, someone more gentle and kinder, maybe he wanted someone...who wasn't him.

That morning had turned into night during Hiroki's sleep. Then the door opened and Nowaki stepped inside the house, he removed his coat and scarf hanging them up and removing his shoes. He walked in "Hiro-san" he asked looking around until his eyes came to rest on the couch, a smile graced his features as he found Hiroki sleeping on the couch. He walked over to and looked at him...Nowaki thought that Hiroki was cute when he was asleep.

He reached out his hand brushing a few strands of his hair from his face, causing the other to moan and stir lightly in his sleep. Nowaki smiled and shook him slightly.

"Hiro-san" he said. A pair of hazel colored eyes began to open, Hiroki blinked tiredly to clear his vision.

"Nowaki?" he asked tiredly.

"Neh, Hiro-san you should go to bed, you shouldn't sleep on the couch all day" he said.

/He's always so nice to me......sometimes I can't stand it.....to think that...he might want to be with someone else...is tearing me apart on the inside...it all makes sense.....Nowaki is always trying to get ahead of me though he's never done it. He's four years younger then me anyways.....he likes lovey-dovey kind of stuff and I'm not like that, all I do is yell and get angry and throw books around.....it doesn't surprise me that he would get bored with me.....but it still hurts for some reason./

He paused in his thoughts suddenly.

/Could it be that....I'm....angry that he wants to leave me......but this feeling.....its different from anger.....it hurts,but it makes me furious.......its hate/

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/Does.....this mean that I.....hate him?/

TBC

again thought it wrote it