Foxes, Hounds and Annoying Cats

Possibly the crackiest idea I've ever had and that's saying something, I attempt to break new ground by creating the first Metal Gear/Black Lagoon crossover.

It'll be as painful for people in Roanapur as it sounds.

Disclaimer: I own neither the locations, nor the characters from their respective series.

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Roanapur was one of those cities that was what you made it out to be. To those who just take a glance at the area, every area under the control of Triads, Russians, Sicilians or Cartel mobsters. To most people, who tried to live 'normal' lives with a fair days work, this place was hell on earth: temptation around every other corner, death around every corner and bars that seldom lasted a month without emergency refurbishment. But to others it was acceptance, people who didn't care what your background was too much so long as you kept your mouth shut and did what you got paid for. It was accepted that at least 50% of the population was an active mobster and an extra 20% on top were freelance psychopaths hired by that other 50% that…

I'll stop there before this gets posted in TV Tropes under Department of Repundancy Department.

Inside the church of violence ontop of the hill a low groan echoed throughout the not-so hallowed halls "Fuck…" A woman dressed in a nun habit with black sunglasses tossed and turned on one of the pews. A night on the town obviously had not been the best idea in the world, especially with one of the most notorious of heavy drinkers. Still, drinking with Revy was usually fun, the morning after however… at least there was little chance of being pregnant.

"Tea sister Eda?" Rico asked, slowly poking the hung-over gun-runner

"Crap… what was I drinking last night?" She asked, her head trying to piece last night together, and there was this weird itch on her right ass cheek for some reason.

"What do you usually have?"

"I remember shots, could have been whiskey, and it could have been Vodka. How'd I get back here?" She asked, her clothes were still mainly intact, good sign for now.

"I believe Revy was carrying you here, she was smiling for some reason." Rico said calmly.

"Good for that bitch now let me get back to sleep," Eda replied, laying back down and pushing the tea set away. Rico moved to leave her alone before she bolted upward shouting "oh, shit. Oh, shit! OH SHIT!" as she tore through the church and the nearby office to find a bathroom and a mirror

"I see you're awake Eda." Sister Yolanda commented, gently sipping her regular 11 o' clock tea.

"That motherfucking, cocksucking, shiteating, cumdrinking BITCH!" Eda screamed.

"I assume you two had fun last night."

"She is dead! You hear me! She is gonna pay for this, big time! Why the hell did I think shots were a good idea? Now I've got this on my ass." She said, bursting out of the bathroom, the habit partially removed and pointing to a new tattoo, one that read 'property of Revy – bitch'.

"Very interesting dear, now cover yourself up and dress properly." Yolanda answered, not even bothering to look at the new ink.

"Yes Sister Yolanda. Stupid bitch thinks she can drag my drunken ass anywhere she wants… how the hell did she manage to? I can drink her under the table easy…"

"Your American friends called earlier, not the usual ones either, a mister Cambell: rather nice fellow polite at all times, the name seems to ring a bell but I can't remember."

"Oh yeah, what did they want?" Eda asked, slowly moving back to replace her clothes.

"You apparently, they won't talk to someone such as myself, you should probably call them back, just in case it is important."

"Fine. Even my ass would have felt the needle." Eda continued to grumble.

"And cease talking about your rear end, its not as if you can see it under those clothes, perhaps the young girl may not remember it clearly enough herself to lay claim so you have nothing to worry about. Except possibly divine retribution." Yolanda commented, sometimes it seemed like she was the only sane person in the city, everyone else had their problems, a foul mouth, drinking habit. It took a bit to get on the head nun's bad side, even when it came to refusing people she had the manners to do it politely. Manners seemed to be another thing lost in this city.

"What is it? Uh-huh, so you want me to take care of this? City's a big place, plenty of places for a rat to find some hole to crawl in." Eda answered in her normal tone, so some spy had decided to seek refuge here, not too difficult as long as they avoided offending any of the big 4 gangs in Roanapur, but her air of confidence dropped suddenly as her colleagues continued to talk "You're not. Please tell me that this is some sick sadistic joke, that you ain't really going to bring that lot here. You know what, I can do it fine, no problem, just give me a little time and I'll have his neck the next time he goes to eat a slice of cheese. I understand." She placed the phone back on the hanger, letting her forehead rest on the wall "Fuck. I really hate my job sometimes."

--

In undisclosed location colonel Roy Cambell, former Green Beret was briefing the latest mission to one of the most elite branches of the military: Foxhound. The unit had a reputation of consisting of freaks and being unstable, no-one really trusted the unit, the previous commander, a soldier under the alias Big Boss had tried to use the unit as a cover to form his own nation of soldiers, but now his demise at the hands of now retired agent Solid Snake had lead to the rebuilding of the unit.

Now its main members were: Vulcan Raven, an overly large (height and muscle wise) Inuit Shaman who can wield his namesake's former aircraft cannon as well as the power supply as a normal man would wield an assault Rifle.

Sniper Wolf, the current top sniper in the world, has managed to alleviate the need of sleep, allowing her to track a target constantly.

Decoy Octopus, the best disguise expert and information operative and the only one without training in firearms, preferring to go un-armed. Despite this he has managed to infiltrate and extract several key personnel and information.

Revolver Ocelot, the oldest member of the unit having fought in multiple armies since the age of 18 where he had quickly risen to the rank of GRU colonel, the leading expert in the US about any underground activities, despite his attempts to prove his loyalty his status in Foxhound has come under scrutiny due to his work with organized crime in Russia, Chicago, and other places.

Psycho Mantis, the worlds finest psychic. Able to read minds and move objects by sheer force of will, is rumoured to be insane but for his duration in Foxhound, he had shown no sign of such tendencies, he tended to always be seen with a gas mask on as according to him, it helps to filter out thoughts of anyone except the man he's extracting them from. Any limits on his power have yet to be tested.

And finally Liquid Snake, the SAS trained son of Big Boss and brother of Solid Snake, applied to Foxhound soon after his brother's retirement. However any accusations of his success only being family were quelled when he set all the records for the VR simulator as well as the assault training course, both of which were set by former member Grey Fox, and had been untouched for several years.

"Aproximatley 1 week ago one of our agents in China managed to escape with several documents that the Government of both countries would prefer kept out of the public eye." The Colonel explained to the group.

"What point would that make? Does he intend to make money selling this information?" Liquid asked.

"Yes and no, before he disappeared of our radar he sent a message saying that if his life was secured the documents would be handed back to their respective countries. However, this will incriminate the United States so we need to take him out and retrieve both sets of information before this situation gets out of hand."

"Do we at least have a name to go by?" Sniper Wolf ventured, so far all they had was a picture and a location.

"His real name is Nicholas Kang: born in Hong Kong, raised in Los Angeles and a former SWAT officer. He was picked up to be an agent by the CIA 6 years ago and has been giving information about the Chinese, both the Government and any new organized crime groups that may make there way into the States, for 3 years now. Although he's most likely using an alias, the name may be enough for Mantis to pick up on."

"But you said he disappeared off radar. Why are we taking this mission now?"

"Because we've received word that he's in one of the worst crime hotspots in the world: Roanapur." Liquid and Raven looked blank at this, Sniper Wolf nodded along with Octopus while Ocelot allowed himself a small smile.

"A trace thought in a large community? Especially such a wretched hive? Surely this is a joke. Even my powers have limits to range and to filter through such… unpleasantness is going to present a problem." Psycho Mantis hissed through his mask, insulted that he should have to use his powers for this.

"We're not going to use you to scan the entire city, we find someone who may be him or forged a new identity for him, check if he remembers the name and we've got him."

"Precisley, that is why your all going on a long trip. You'll rendezvous with your contact, a CIA agent going by the name Eda, within twenty four hours of touching down at the local airport. Ocelot will be the one doing the talking, and Mantis will confirm who we have. Considering that this place is more dangerous than most war zones and Ocelot's … shall we say history of work with GRU, the Mafiya, the CIA among other things," Ocelot shrugged, feigning innocence "the rest of the unit will be set as back up in the case he's recognised. Remember, we need the documents only, his survival is not necessary but our involvement in his death should it come to that should be kept as low key as possible, good luck: your going to need it."

--

£10 to whoever sees the obvious confrontation coming soon.