Rufus couldn't understand how he was back here again, stood in front of the five star hotel, his heart willing himself to storm in and disrupt everything, but his gut telling him to walk away and leave her to get on with her life. Twenty years ago he was madly in love with her, nothing seemed complicated because he loved her and that's all that mattered to him. He would have given her everything, he wanted to give her it all, but she turned her back on him, on them. He wasn't sure what he was offering her now, he didn't know what he could offer her. Things were definitely more complicated this time. He was getting divorced, he was approaching his forties with two kids and an art gallery to his name. One of those kids who also happened to be in love with her daughter. He ran his fingers through his hair, god this really was more complicated. He shook his head, no they loved each other, he knew that much. He had known it for a while now, in fact he didn't think he had ever stopped loving her. It was a love that he had buried away, hidden deep down under the love he had for his wife and his kids. Allison had always known it was there, but she never spoke of it. He wasn't proud of the fact that he had loved two women, he also wasn't proud of the fact that nineteen years ago, while engaged to Allison he stood in front of another five star hotel having the same argument with himself.
Hiding behind two caterers he made his way into the hotel, he could see Carol in her peach bridesmaid dress, talking animatedly to another bridesmaid which he didn't know. As he slipped into the lobby his heart froze as he heard the icy tones of a woman's voice, it was cold intimidating and he knew it belonged to Ce-ce. Hiding behind a tree while she moved away into the other room, he breathed a sigh of relief, and made his way up the grand staircase unnoticed. The long corridors of the hotel seemed to wind on forever, and he had no idea where he was going, or where she would be, but he had come this far and he wasn't going to give up. Rufus hid in an alcove as he heard women's voices come from ahead. He faced the wall and pretended to take great interest in the painting before him. 'you did an excellent job on her hair and makeup' one of the women said as she approached him. 'Thank you, it wasn't easy. I've never seen a bride so nervous, she was practically shaking….' she trailed off and Rufus's heart dropped, that was Lily, she was nervous, she was scared and she didn't want to go through with this. With an air of confidence and a spring in his step he made his way down the corridor in the direction the women had come from, he stopped when he came to a cream panelled door that read in gold swirling writing 'Bridal Suite'. Taking a deep breath he glanced over himself, dusting down the grey suit jacket which he had borrowed off one of his band mates. His heart was beating wildly and his chest was pounding with the force of it, he ran his hands through his messy long hair, he should have gotten a hair cut, he berated himself. 'Too late now' He whispered to himself 'This is it Humphrey, go get her back' and with a shaking hand he reached for the gold door knob and pushed open the heavy wood, the air thick with the enormity of what he was about to do.
Lily sat in her bathroom, her huge meringue dress fanned out around her as her legs curled underneath her. Her hands were shaking and she couldn't get them to stop. She reached for her champagne and took another sip, trying anything to steady her beating heart. This wasn't how it was meant to be, she said to herself, 'your wedding day is supposed to be the happiest day of your life' Lily whispered to the empty room. She had to swallow the lump in her throat as the words echoed in her ears. I am happy. She said silently. She stood up quickly and dusted down her dress, fixing the long train which filled up half of the bathroom. Her breath hitched as she caught sight of herself in the mirror. Her hair had been curled and put up, held together with flowers. Her face was flawless her cheeks dusted with a shade of peach that matched her flowers and her lips were painted into a perfect curve. She looked beautiful, she looked like a china doll, an Upper East Side princess. She looked like someone she didn't even know.
Lily gripped the sink as her legs buckled and she willed herself not to cry. God knows she had cried enough tears the past few months. Today was supposed to be a new beginning, it was time to move on. To put all the hurt behind her and start a new life as Mrs Lily Van Der Woodsen. She swallowed hard as the thought of being a 'Van Der Woodsen' sent a shiver down her spine. She felt hot, so hot that she couldn't breath and tears formed in her eyes. She tried desperately to blink them back. She didn't care about her make up, she didn't care that her eyes would look red, she was just so tired of crying she promised herself that she had cried too many tears over him. It was time to move on, she was getting married. This was the life she was meant to have, and it was about time she started living it. She nodded her head determined, turned on her heel and opened the door, ready to face her future.
She opened the door to her suite, and her heart stopped as she saw him standing before her. She couldn't move, she was frozen to the spot. No he didn't belong here, he wasn't a part of this world. He was so much easier to forget when he wasn't stood in front of her. Looking rugged and so heart wrenchingly handsome, it made her knee's go weak. And those eye's. Staring into his dark pools, she felt her heart crack a little more, they were the same. Her baby, her little boy whom she held mere months ago had the same sparkling hazel eyes, which looked out at the world with such awe and wonder. Seeing them again, staring into them, the feeling of heartbreak washed over her. That feeling of gut wrenching loss made her want to run to him and be held in his safe arms. But at the same time it made her want to slap him hard for not knowing exactly why she had left him and was about marry another man.
'Wow' Rufus breathed 'You look….' Lily put her hand up 'Don't Rufus, don't say it' She sounded so cold, she surprised herself and she felt bad when she saw Rufus flinch at the cold tone of her voice. 'What are you doing here?' She asked him, his eyes never leaving her. She looked so beautiful, so elegant and perfect. She was a million miles away from the girl who wore his Lincoln Hawk T-shirts to bed and left her hair hanging loose around her shoulders. But this wasn't his Lily, this was the Upper East Side society Lily that her mother had always wanted her to be. He stared into her eyes and he could still see her, she was still in there somewhere. If he was honest with himself it was hard to see, he knew she was still in there, but her eyes told a different story, they held a sadness which he had never seen before. His Lily's eyes sparkled as if they held a secret just waiting to be told. The Lily which stared at him now, was a changed person. He couldn't put his finger on how, but she had a coldness which he had never seen before. He knew Lily liked to put up walls, she liked to keep people out, but he was different. They were different, he had to make her see that and he had to get 'his Lily' back before it was too late.
'Don't marry him' he spit out, and she recoiled in shock. 'Don't marry him Lily' He said again more forceful. She shook her head at him. 'Rufus, your being ridiculous' She brushed him off. And took a swig of champagne, trying to calm her nerves. She couldn't handle this, not today. 'Am I?' He asked her 'Lily this isn't you, you don't want this life' Lily shook her head at him, deliberately averting her eyes from his gaze. She would not let him know he was right. 'Oh really!' She countered. 'And what is it I want? Please Rufus enlighten me' Rufus smiled at her, he had been secretly hoping she would ask this question, because he knew even better than she did about what she wanted. Taking a deep breath he moved towards her. 'Lil' he said quietly, causing Lily's heart to stop beating for a moment. He had not called her by her nickname since she had become engaged to Will. He had resumed calling her Lily, making it all the more formal between them, acting like a buffer as if he had not known the most intimate parts of her. How she had missed hearing him call her 'Lil'. Only he was allowed to call her that, she was only 'Lil' to him.
'Lil' He said again, staring deep into her eyes, so deep in fact that she could not look away, he had her transfixed and she was surprised to find herself desperate to hear what he was about to say, to know why she didn't want this life, because she wasn't so sure she really knew herself. 'You want a man who will look at you like you're the only woman in the world, who will wake you up at the crack of dawn just to hear your voice, just to hear what you've got to say. A man who will tell you when your acting like a spoilt brat but still love you just as much for it. Who will surprise you, and take your breath away all at once when you least expect it. And a man who will know exactly what your thinking, your deepest darkest thoughts, fears and insecurities. To hold you and tell you exactly what you need to hear, that it will all be okay and that your loved more than words can ever describe…..not only do you want all of that Lily, you deserve it all' Rufus's chest was rising up and down the emotion filling his voice. His eyes pleading with her, he had never wanted to reach out and hold her more than he did right then. She looked like a five year old girl playing dress up in her mother's wedding dress. Never before had he seen Lily looking so lost and scared, and it broke his heart all over again.
Lily didn't know what to do, or say. His words swirled around and around in her head. She would never admit it, but he was right. That was all she had ever wanted. To be loved. Really loved, every part of her, the good and the bad. She knew that was what she had with Rufus. He loved her unconditionally, well he did. She wanted to tell him the truth, she wanted nothing more than to tell him the real reason she ran away. But she knew that what she did would be unforgivable to Rufus. She gave away their child. A baby which was a part of them both, a symbol of their love. He could never forgive her for that. Not telling him would be the worst thing she could have done to him. She knew he would of made a wonderful father to him. He would have given up everything, his whole life and all his dreams of becoming a star all for her and their baby. But the truth was, they weren't ready to give it all up, to become responsible adults. and why should Rufus have to give up the one thing he has always wanted, she wouldn't allow herself to take that away from him. But instead she took his child away from him. The thought crept into her mind quicker than she had expected it too, and the wave of guilt spread over her. She was so sick and tired of having this same argument with herself, it was exhausting and she couldn't do it to herself anymore. The decision was made and it was time to move on.
Time seemed to stand still as Lily contemplated her answer, he knew he had hit a nerve, he also knew, she knew he was right. He could see her mind working over things, like cogs going around in her head. He stepped forward and grabbed her hand, her hands so soft it suddenly hit home how much he had missed her.
Lily blinked and brought herself back to reality, she couldn't do this now, she was marrying Will. 'And how do you know that Will isn't all those things?' She asked almost wanting to laugh after she had said it because Rufus and her both knew, Will was not that kind of man. 'Huh' Rufus scoffed 'Yeah right, come on Lil, he's a suit. Nothing but a rich boy looking for a beautiful girl from the right background to be his trophy wife' Lily let go of his hand and crossed her arms in front of her, feeling hurt at his words. 'Right' She nodded, not meeting his eye 'because that's all I'm good for isn't it Rufus? Being some trophy wife who doesn't have a voice or an opinion, don't you think I'm a little bit smarter than that!' Rufus raked his fingers through his hair in frustration. 'Yes! God Lily you are worth so much more than what he is ever going to offer you, can't you see that?' he stared at her exasperated, god she was so difficult sometimes. 'And what exactly are you offering Rufus? Living in the back of a tour bus until we're retired, come on that's not a life plan' she didn't mean to sound so cold, but the look of hurt that crossed Rufus's face made her heart sink, she didn't mean it, she wanted to tell him. But she didn't she stuck to her role as the ice queen. 'Don't you stand there Lily and tell me you weren't happy, you were the happiest you have ever been, you can't fake that, I know you' He said, moving closer to her. Lily swallowed hard 'Yes well, that was…..that was a different me, I've changed Rufus, I have different needs now' Lily said in a quiet voice. He moved even closer to her, and reached out his hand, placing it softly on her cheek, cupping her face and stoking her silky skin. She fell silent, and leant her face into him, closing her eyes and letting herself to get lost in the moment as the memories of him, of them flooded her mind.
She remembered what it was like laying in bed with him, his arms wrapped tightly around her, she felt so safe, so loved. She remembered how he would whisper into her ear that he loved her, when he thought she had fallen asleep. She thought about how he would look at her when he was on stage, he only played for her. His eyes only fixed on her. How he would wake her in the middle of the night, to tell her some song lyric which had just come to him, that he couldn't possibly wait until morning to tell her. That even without make up and nice clothes he always made her feel like the most beautiful woman in the world. She remembered laughing, he would always make her laugh. She was carefree and fun and a million miles away from the girl she was right now. And she missed it. She missed him so much it hurt. The pain clenched in her chest, she missed feeling him on top of her, feeling him inside of her, feeling him make love to her. It hurt so much she was sure she couldn't survive without it. The physical ache she felt inside of her brought tears to her eyes, she couldn't do this, could she? She brought her hand up to his and placed it on top holding his fingers tightly and opening her eyes to show him the tears that were threatening to spill over, to show him the emotion that she was trying so desperately to keep bottled up inside.
'Lily, I love you, I love all of you. Everything. And there is nothing, nothing, that will ever change that' He told her seriously, she could tell he really meant it. She smiled back at him 'And I love you…I do Rufus' that was all he needed to hear, with that he bent down and kissed her, softly parting her lips, moving his other hand up to her face as her hands roamed his body. They became lost in the moment. She was no longer a bride due to marry someone else in less than five minutes. He no longer had another fiancé waiting for him, she never left him all those months ago to have his child and then give it away without him ever knowing. No they were just them. Rufus and Lily, two halves of a whole, meant for each other, unbreakable and so in love that nothing else in the world mattered, just them, they were the only two people that existed, just for a moment, one last precious moment together.
Until their world came crashing back to reality with a knock on the door. Suddenly Lily remembered the ring on her finger, and the scar's from giving birth to their son, Allison and her mother and everything else which told her, she had to say goodbye. 'Lillian darling, its nearly time are you ready?' her mothers voice came through the door and she sprang apart from Rufus her heart hammering in her chest. 'Yes mother, I'll be down in a minute' She replied her voice high pitched, she prayed silently that he mother would walk away. 'Okay, see you down there' She told her. And Lily breathed a sigh of relief as she heard her mothers footsteps walk down the hall.
Lily's hands were shaking as she took a step back from Rufus. 'I can't do this' She told him 'I'm, I'm getting married….' Rufus tried to close the gap between them by reaching for her hands again. 'You want me to call it off? I'm not afraid of your mother Lil' Lily knew that was true, Rufus wasn't afraid of anyone. That was because in this world he had nothing to lose, he was already an outsider, it didn't matter if they accepted him or not, nor did he care if they did. For a time she didn't either. Life was simpler then. 'Yes, well I am scared of her' he squeezed her hands and looked at her worryingly 'You never used to be' He swallowed hard, remembering the way she would hang up on Ce-ce and tell her she didn't want this life, she didn't care about the money, the status and what was expected of her. What happened to that Lily? What turned the carefree wonderful woman that he loved into this scared little girl that he barely recognised. 'What changed Lily?' He asked her. In a quiet voice, he had gone over and over this in his head. Wondering how they could be totally and completely in love one minute and then the next she was gone and Ce-ce was telling him she didn't want to see him again. It had kept him awake at night as he berated himself time and again for not noticing if something was wrong, if he had said something anything that could make her run back to this life. But he couldn't understand it, this was his chance to know, he had to know why.
Lily's stomach dropped and she turned to look out of the window. This was not a conversation she wanted to have, not now, not while it was all too raw. She didn't want to lie to him, not to his face, she couldn't look into his eyes, she was sure he would know, that he would be able to read her mind. 'Lily' He said again 'Talk to me' He pleaded 'Tell me why…..why you left me' she folded her arms protectively around herself. She couldn't deal with this. She knew she owed him an explanation, but it wasn't like she could tell him the truth was it? Maybe one day, she hoped. One day she would get to meet her son again, and she could tell him she loved him and she never stopped thinking about him. She hoped one day Rufus would understand why, and that he could forgive her. She wanted that more than anything. But not yet, it was too soon and he would hate her. And she couldn't stand that, she loved him too much for that. And so she closed her eyes and willed the tears to vanish from her eyes.
She was silent for a moment, not knowing what to say to him. He waited anxiously, the silence hanging heavy in the air. She forced herself to meet his eyes. She felt sick as the realisation of what she was about to do hit her, she swallowed the lump in her throat. 'I love Will' She lied. Rufus suddenly looked pale and she noticed for the first time how tired he looked. And even in that horrible, wretched moment she drew a minuscule crumb of comfort from knowing that this had hurt him as much as it had utterly broken her heart. 'I'm sorry Rufus, but I want to marry Will, and not just because he has money, I guess I suddenly realised, this was the life I was meant to have, I had to grow up sometime' She knew she was rambling, but she was nervous. He made her so nervous. She hated lying to him, but this was easier. She would rather have him hate her for marrying another man than hate her for the truth, which was a far worse crime
Rufus didn't know whether to laugh at how ridiculous she sounded or cry because she was telling him the truth. 'But….but you just told me you love me how can you marry someone else Lily?' He knew he sounded like a child, but he didn't care he couldn't understand her reasoning. How could she give up everything they had together for something which would never quite match up. 'I do love you Rufus, and that's why you can't ask me why. You have to be the man I know you are and walk away right now and not look back, you have to do this for me Rufus' she pleaded with him, the tears brimming over the rim of her eyes. Rufus stood staring at her, he couldn't understand it, he couldn't grasp what she was saying or why, he knew her better than he knew anyone, and yet she was still a mystery too him. 'Lil' He said, tears forming behind his own eyes. No this can't be happening, this can't be over, how can this be over? He wanted to scream this all at her, get on his knee's and beg her to runaway with him. But he knew now it would be useless. Lily didn't want him to beg her, he didn't know why, he might never know, but something was stopping Lily from allowing herself to follow her heart. And he knew that he couldn't change her mind. 'Rufus' She said again taking one step forward, letting a single tear fall from her eyes. 'We've got to let each other go' She said, and with each word she spoke, her heart cracked a little more. This was why she left him in the middle of the night, she took the cowards way out she knew. But this feeling of torture was too hard to bare, the look of hurt and yet such pure love in his eyes was heartbreaking.
This had to be a clean break she knew. They had to move on, she hoped it wouldn't be forever, but she knew it probably should be. It was hard to conceive of not seeing him again, beyond the limits of physical pain to even imagine it. He stepped forwards and engulfed her in his arms, holding her so tightly she could barely breath. She placed her hand on the back of his head as he whispered into her neck 'I'll never be sorry, Lil, that we happened, I hope you won't be' his voice was so full of sadness how could he ever think that? He changed her, he changed her whole life in the best way possible. He saved her, because of him she had known true love, and even if she never found it again, even if she was never that truly happy ever again. It was the memories, the memory of him which would warm her heart. Through her shallow breathing and her freely flowing tears she managed to whisper 'never' before burying her face in his neck.
'I'll love you forever Rufus' She told him. 'And I'll love you Lil' He told her. There was much more, they both knew. So much left unsaid. She hoped to god, one day they would get their chance. But right now, she had to go and marry Will, and he had to go and marry Alison. The future without one another felt like a lurking shadow at this moment, this feeling, the one they had right now, this minute, they both knew, it would never go away.
And so there was nothing more to say. Nothing more to do. Anything else would prolong the inevitable, draw out the pain too much. Rufus kissed her once more, his dry soft lips quickly on hers, and then he stood back from her, his arms by his sides. It was too late for goodbye. He couldn't bring himself to say it. It took strength he didn't know he had, to turn walk away, and not look back as he closed the door, just like she had asked him too.
He walked quickly away from her room, his shirt felt like it was strangling him and he could barely breath, he rounded the corner and leant against the wall. His breathing heavy and laboured as he tried to fight back his own tears. It was over. It was really over. He had lost her all over again and it hurt the same way it did when he found her letter that morning. He tried to muffle the sob that was rising in his throat, but it was no use, the tears were falling faster than he could wipe them away. His knees buckled and his body sank to the floor, all he could think of was that he would never hold her, kiss her, make love to her again. He had not known this pain before, to him it felt worse than a death. It was too hard, it was just too damn hard. He put his head in his hands, and took deep breaths. It would be okay, he told himself. Even though deep down he knew, nothing would ever be the same again.
He took a moment to regain his composure and made his way out of the hotel, he wasn't looking where he was going when he bumped into someone 'Sorry' he mumbled not looking up and continuing his surge towards the exit. 'Rufus?' the voice said after him. Causing him to stop dead in his tracks. He turned around slowly and stared at Will. Standing staring at him with a look that could kill. He was dressed as expected, ridiculously expensive grey suit, peach flower attached to his jacket, and his hair slicked back. Even if he didn't already hate him he would still want to punch the crap out of the smarmy bastard. 'What the hell are you doing here Rufus?' He asked him and for a second Will had a look that made Rufus feel good, he was scared. Because deep down Will knew that it was Rufus that Lily really loved. That this was a marriage built out of convenience and good breeding, not love. And that was something that all the money in the world could not buy Will. Rufus was tempted to mess with him, he wanted nothing more than to tell him that Lily just confessed her undying love to him. He wanted to make Will hurt the way he was hurting now, because god did he hate that guy. But in hurting Will, he would hurt Lily too, and that was not something he ever wanted to do. He wanted Lily to be happy, even if it wasn't with him. And so he walked up to Will and smiled 'I just wanted to wish Lily good luck' He lied. Will looked uneasy and Rufus wasn't sure if he believed him. 'Right…..well the wedding is about to begin….so I'd better go' Will said, his voice jumpy and shaky. And Rufus couldn't help enjoy the fact that he had put that fear in him. He started to walk away when Rufus called after him. 'Will' He turned around, and exasperated expression on his face 'yes Rufus?' he said patronisingly. 'I can't give you my blessing…but….just take care of her, okay?…..She deserves it' He said it seriously and Will stared at him. Man to man. They hated each other for different reasons, he would never love Lily the same way he did, nobody ever would. But he hoped to god he would give her the love he deserved. Will nodded his head ever so slightly, Rufus even wondered if he had imagined it. But it didn't matter, he didn't matter. And with that he turned on his heel and left this world of wealth and privilege forever. Leaving a piece of his heart behind as he went.
Lily was half an hour late to her wedding. It took her fifteen minutes to stop the tears from cascading down her face, and another fifteen minutes to redo her makeup. It had slipped away from her, it had all slipped away, and she had been powerless to stop any of it because she knew it was all of her own making. She was terrified, and she was sad, she was so unbelievably sad. Saying goodbye to him was the hardest thing she had done. It took everything she had not to run after him, to chase him down the hall and scream his name, that she loved him and she wanted to run away with him. But she didn't, it was over. It was really over now. She had made her choice, she had to go and become Lily Van Der Woodsen, for better or for worse. She had to believe that this sadness would lift and that one day she could be happy again, and she could smile and not feel her chest tightening around her and the threat of tears forming in her eyes. One day, she would. She hoped. Rufus would always be in her heart, and she knew that their love was strong enough to last a lifetime. And so she did what her mother taught her to do. She buttoned up, she smoothed down her hair, reapplied her makeup and fixed her face with a smile as bright as she could muster, a smile that could light up the room, but to someone who knew her like Rufus knew her, it was a smile that would never quite reach her eyes.
Lily married Will and Rufus married Alison. And they were both happy. It wasn't the same of course, nothing ever could be. They both always knew that they had 'settled' for second best. Lily loved her husband and she felt happy, truly happy when she gave birth to her daughter. She stared down into Serena's eyes and felt the kind of warmth she had not felt since she had given birth to her son. It brought back all the memories of course, but she would never let them show. She didn't cry anymore. That wasn't the way Lily coped, she found the best way to deal was to just squash the feelings down inside of her, and distract herself with being an Upper East side socialite. There wasn't a day where she didn't think of her son, how old he would be, what kind of a person he was becoming. On his first birthday she locked herself in her bedroom all day, she didn't cry she just lay on her bed and stared at the ceiling one hand over her stomach as she remembered the feeling of his life inside her. She had never missed Rufus as much as she had that day. Lily and Will were happy for a time, he did love her but after Eric was born, the cracks began to show. He cared more about his work, and was commuting to Tibet for half the week. She was lonely. She would put the kids to bed and lay in her room listening to her only tape she had of Lincoln Hawk. Listening to his voice swirl around her, comforting her and letting her drift into a restless sleep. When the marriage finally broke down she didn't know whether to believe it was because they didn't love one another enough, or if it was because she had never truly let go of the idea of her and Rufus.
Rufus was happy with Alison. They didn't have much, but that didn't seem to matter and he liked that Alison didn't care about money. He continued to try and make it with the band, he even had a hit with 'Everytime' he sang it to Lily every time, he would look out to the audience and imagine her stood at the back, watching him intently, her eyes never leaving his. Alison knew the song was about her, and he lied to her one night and told her that 'Rosewood' was about her. It wasn't true. Rosewood was Lily's horse, he couldn't seem to write a song for Alison. He didn't know why, he kept trying but the words never seemed to come. He felt bad about lying, but it was easier and somehow less cruel to lie than to tell her he couldn't write her a one. Especially when he had dozen's about Lily. When they had their son, Dan, Rufus understood finally what he was meant to be in life. A father. He loved his kids more than he loved life itself. And when his career didn't pan out the way he hoped. When he lost his inspiration to write, he lost that when he lost Lily. His mission in life became to take care of his kids, Dan and then later Jenny. They were a happy family and wanted for nothing. There were secrets yes. Rufus didn't know Alison had an affair, Alison didn't know Rufus would listen to his Lincoln Hawk songs, close his eyes and think of Lily, wishing that he could have her one more time. Of course secrets have a habit of coming out in the end. He was heartbroken when he found out about Alison, but not entirely surprised. He had neglected her, through his work and through his love or lack thereof. He knew that sometimes she would be talking to him and he would get this far off look in his eyes, she knew he was thinking of her.
And so here he was. A different suit jacket, a different five star hotel. But the same mission in mind. To get Lily to change her mind. Who would have thought twenty years and many divorces later, they had found themselves back at the same crossroads. This time, it had to be it. He couldn't change her mind last time. But things were different now, and after last night. After she had come to him and they had spent the most amazing night together, it was obvious their love was still as strong now as it was twenty years ago, he knew it and so did she. He had to talk to her, just to make sure, all he knew is that he had to try. He loved her and missed her, and he really didn't want to give her up to another rich man in a suit. He made his way towards the hotel careful to not be spotted by one of their kids. He had nothing to lose this time, that's why he had to give it a shot. Twenty years in the making and they still hadn't managed to forget one another. He took a deep breath and walked inside, hoping that this time he wouldn't be leaving alone, this was their chance now he knew it, deep down they were ready to finally become a family.