Authors Note: Just a oneshot I've been thinking of since I watched Star Trek IV. This takes place after Star Trek VI which I have yet to see, but in fact takes place after Jim and Spock retired from Star Fleet. Please read and review. I'd like to know what you think.

He had always been handsome, both men and women found him pleasing to the eye and longed to be noticed by him. Some even went so far as to use different forms of persuasion in the past, but he always managed to return to me. I would be lying if I said I wasn't jealous during those times, but of course Vulcan's cannot lie. But it had been years since anything of that nature had happened, and even more years since my T'hy'la lost his wife and son. We had both grown older, and were now retired from Star Fleet, so to speak. I took up teaching on the Vulcan culture at the Star Fleet Academy, preparing those who would be going to Vulcan to continue their education and those who would be working with Vulcan crew members upon various Star Ships. My love, Jim would do yearly seminars, throwing in a few workshops here and there. He was retired by human standers, much to his dismay. My love did not take getting older very well. He was bored, I could tell. He spent so much time cooped up. And as time wore on I began noticing my sweet Jim slowly slipping into a depression. It was not the first depression I had seen him in, nor would it be the last but I still did not like it. The last time I'd seen him this depressed was after my death…of course I did not witness it first hand, I witnessed it through his memories after I had been reborn and regained myself. It broke my heart. But as I began noticing my sweet slipping into depression and pressed for the cause why I was surprised to find the answer being such a…trivial matter.

Six week earlierSan Francisco

It was a cool gray Friday Night, the dark evening skies sending light drops of rain sprinkling down upon the world below. The apartment where the retired Captain of the USS Enterprise and his ever faithful retired First Commander and husband resided was quite a contrast to the outside world. It was warm, very warm in order to keep the Vulcan resident comfortable. It was not as warm as his room on the original Enterprise had been, but it was comfortable for both residents.

Spock was lounging on the bed, sitting atop the whine colored bed covers, legs crossed at the ankles, antique book cradled in his long slender fingers as he read, head crooked forward just slightly as his dark chocolate eyes roamed over the pages. His love was not the only one who had aged, Spock had aged as well. He now resembled a human in his late forties, early fifties, but with few wrinkles, only a few lines resting near his mouth, from all of the smiling he did when with his T'hy'la, a small price to pay for being with the man who made him happiest. He was dressed in comfortable cotton slacks, no socks, and a long sleeved black turtle neck. He had gotten a bit of a chill on his way to the apartment from the Star Fleet Academy.

Spock glanced up as the apartment door opened and Jim entered quickly, closing the door behind him. He looked a little chilled as well, an observation that was confirmed as the odd stuttering sound that humans emitted when cold escaped his loves mouth as he shed his over coat and hung it up in the closet near the front door. Spock set down his book on top of his lap. "Good evening Jim. I assume the workshop went well?"

Jim shot him a look, a look that reminded Spock of the same look Jim had shot to their dear friend Dr. McCoy during the tribble incident. The look amused him, but he knew better than to show that fact. It would only serve to irritate Jim further.

"You know you shouldn't assume anything Spock, it is not Vulcan, hell even humans have a negative thing to say about assuming." He stated as he pealed off his shoes and left them near the door before crossing over to the desk that rested opposite the room from the bed. Spock cocked a lovely slim, black eyebrow.

"Oh? And what would that negative saying be Jim?"

"When you assume you are only making an ass out of you and me."

Spock's eyebrow rose a fraction, which was a marvel seeing as it had already been cocked. Jim huffed and pulled open the long closet that held their pants and tops, their full length mirror nailed to the inside of the door.

"Well, is it safe to…guess, that the workshop did not go very well?"

"It is not very Vulcan to guess either Spock."

Spock felt a little beaten down by his loves harsh words. For years Jim had begged him, pleaded with him to push back his Vulcan side and show his human side more often. He struggled with complying, for he had worked very hard to forget about his human side, but eventually had been able to comply for the sake of the one he loved, and now that very same person was calling him unVulcan…it was hurtful.

"Jim." He said in a quiet withdrawn voice. Jim glanced over before sighing and letting his head lawl back.

"Forgive me Spock, I've just had a bad day." he apologized, realizing that he had hurt his mates pride and feelings. Spock nodded. Jim was glad Spock was one who forgave easily, other wise they never would have remained friends, or ever became lovers.

Spock put a book marker in the book to save his place before setting the book on the nightstand, scooting forward on the bed till he was sitting on the end of the bed gazing at his love.

Jim found him quite lovely sitting on the end of the bed, naked feet pressed against the soft white carpet, back slumped forward in a delicate arch as he rested his weight on his elbows, which in turn were snuggled comfortably atop his knees. But Jim felt a pang when he noticed how lovely Spock really looked, he didn't look like a man in his late sixties, in fact he looked at least a decade younger. Jim looked away and frowned at the mirror. It wasn't fare, Spock was older than him and yet he looked younger.

"May I ask that you explain why today was so bad?"

Jim huffed but didn't look back at Spock.

"I guess I was just noticing some things." he mumbled. He knew Spock would want him to enlighten him since he no doubt didn't understand so Jim sighed and bowed his head. "Spock…why do you stay with me?"

Spock blinked and sat up a little straighter. The questioned puzzled him. Why would he want to leave his T'hy'la? The question was illogical, the most illogical thing he could remember ever coming from his illogical human mate.

"Love why,"

Jim spun around.

"Look at me!"

Spock blinked. Anger, anxiety and sadness washed over Spock in a surprising wave as Jim looked at him accusingly. Spock closed his eyes a moment in a form of a sigh without the actual sigh before looking up at his husband.

"I am looking at you Jim. Now please, explain your question. Why would I ever wish to leave you? I'm afraid I do not understand the question."

Jim heaved another sigh before his shoulders slouched in defeat and he turned back to the mirror.

"I suppose I've just been noticing how…old I've become Spock. I mean, my hair is graying, my skin is lined and…well…" A blush colored his ears, not going unnoticed by Spock who absolutely adored his husbands rounded ears. "I mean, I've never been skinny. Not like you Spock, but, I was always…well I was always lean wasn't I?"

Spock blinked, taking in what Jim was saying and recollection dawning on him. Jim was worried because he was round and aging? "I mean sure I know my ass was always a bit large, and I had a bit of a paunch but I was always in shape right? I mean…I wasn't…well I mean…."

Spock couldn't believe what he was hearing. He leaned forward catching Jim's attention.

"Jim, you may not have been as thin or as physically masculine as other men in Star Fleet but you were always in the best of health. And you were most certainly attractive, why would you even doubt this when both men and women were all over you whenever they could snatch up the chance? It is illogical for you to be concerning yourself with such things."

"But Spock, look at you!"

Spock blinked and glanced down at himself before looking back up at Jim. He shrugged his shoulders, something he had picked up from Jim.

"What about me Jim?"

"You are older than me!" Jim stated gesturing wildly with his hands.

"Only by three years Jim."

Jim pointed and made an indignant sound.

"My point exactly! You are three years older than me! You're sixty-seven years old Spock! But you look like your forty-nine or fifty!"

Spock stood up and crossed to his human who pouted and turned back to the mirror. Spock wrapped his arms around the human and rested his chin atop his shoulder, gazing into the mirror as well.

"Jim, you forget that I am half Vulcan. My biology is quite different than yours, I will age at a slower rate, and you forget that the average Vulcan can live to be over two-hundred-years-old."

Jim continued to pout. Spock lifted a hand and gently rubbed the knuckles of his index and middle finger against his husband's cheek. "Yes, you are getting older love. Your hair is graying and your skin is becoming more lined, and yes you have gained a little weight, but that does not lower my opinion of you. I find you as attractive and beautiful as I did when I first fell in love with you. In fact, if I can speak freely I would say that I find you more beautiful now."

Jim gave him an odd look, a look of sad disbelief so Spock decided to explain. "Jim. You are aging, it is only natural. And the lines that mark your skin and the weight you have gained is only natural to your physical biology." He traced the lines that decorated the area around Jim's eye with the tip of his finger. "These lines show to the world how often your eyes have turned upward with joy," His finger traced down his cheek to the lines near the pink mouth. "And these lines show to the world how often you have laughed and smiled. All of the lines upon your face love, show how much happiness and sadness you have endured and enjoyed in your lifetime. They area testimony of your life. They tell a story." Spock let his arms slide down and wrap around his human's middle. He felt a sense of insecurity vibrate through the bond he shared with Jim. He gently cooed into the lovely pink round ear. "Jim, please don't berate yourself. It is natural that you would gain a little weight as you age, it just signals that your metabolism is finally slowing down, it is natural. It does not mean that you are lazy, or out of shape." He let his hands gently glide over his husbands rounded belly. "In fact you are very healthy Jim, you have not gotten ill or suffered any other illness for years. You can still run, and walk and continue on with physical activities for long periods of time without loosing your breath, don't let a little extra weight depress you."

Jim sighed and leaned his head back against his husbands shoulder. He knew everything Spock was saying was the truth, but it didn't help reassure him. He just couldn't understand why Spock would find him attractive. Spock could sense Jim's weariness and sighed, actually outwardly sighed. "Jim, will you do something for me?" Spock asked quietly. Jim blinked, a little surprised at the sudden change of subject and tilted his head slightly.

"Of course."

Spock nodded against his shoulder, pleased with his answer.

"Help me undress?"

Jim blinked a slight pink hue coloring his cheeks. After all the years of being married to Spock and seeing him nude, Jim still blushed.

"Sure." He said with a slight frown turning around and gazing up at the taller man. Spock gazing warmly down at him. Jim looked down and took the hem of the black turtle neck and began lifting it up. Inch by inch the Vulcan's pale skin was revealed as the shirt was worked upwards. Spock lifted his arms and bowed his head slightly as his shorter partner worked it up and over his head, pulling it off of his arms.

Jim paused, holding the warm bundle that was Spock's shirt as he gazed at his husband's exposed torso. Spock's stomach was still lean with a hint of muscles faintly outlined with a tinge of green. He was not as muscular as he had once been, but that was due to his aging. Jim couldn't help but notice that his husband's skin was covered in slight bumps, his nipples hard and erect. He was cold. Jim tossed the shirt onto the desk before running his hands over the still warmer skin. "Cold?"

Spock shivered slightly, gripping at his arm, and moving his hand up and down.

"A little."

Jim nodded before turning and walking towards the thermostat, and turning up the heat. He then returned to his lover whose shivering had stopped, and his skin had smoothed out, but the hairs on his arms still stood on end and his nipples remained hard. Jim forced himself not to lick his lips before going and gently fingering the button of the black cotton slacks. He worked the button loose before undoing the zipper. Why was Spock having him undress him? He was confused. But he slid the hem of the slacks over his lovers narrow hips before letting them drop to the floor. Spock stepped out of them and kicked them up, catching them before tossing them on the desk with his shirt. He leaned in and kissed Jim's forehead before standing back. Jim fingered the hem of Spock's black boxer-briefs. He glanced up and eyed the taller man who nodded. Jim gently pulled the last piece of clothing down and away from his husbands body, repeating the motion with the pants before the underwear joined the pile of clothes on the desk. Spock leaned forward and gently kissed Jim's lips, a enjoyable kiss, but Jim was still confused. Spock pulled back and smiled turning towards the bed and climbing atop the sheets and laying back, left arm resting under his head, rising his head so he could look at Jim who still stood near the desk. "Let's go to bed Jim, you seem stressed and sleep would be a good thing for you." He stated with a warm smile. Jim nodded unsurely before pointing towards the closet.

"Do, do you want me to grab your pajamas?"

Spock shook his head.

"I'd rather sleep with nothing between us love, if that is alright with you."

Jim felt a warmth pool in his stomach and his heart tighten in his chest slightly.

"Al, Alright."

Spock leaned over and turned off the lamp on his side of the bed, the room dimming considerably seeing as the only light was coming from the lamp on Jim's side of the bed. He laid back and awaited his lover to join him.

Jim removed his socks setting them with Spock's clothes on the desk, a place their dirty clothes always seemed to end up before laundry day, before un-tucking his shirt and pulling off his shirt. He felt a flush reach his face, he still felt a little uncomfortable about his appearance. He undid his pants and pulled his underwear off with his dark gray slacks. He walked around the bed and turned off his lamp, the only light coming from the nightlight in the hall, after all Jim couldn't see in the dark like Spock and he wasn't to keen on bumping into the chest near the bathroom door. He climbed onto the bed and paused gazing down at the man laying on the bed. "Spock?"

He could see the outline and a few features of his lovers face. He was sure if he could see more clearly the Vulcan would have been blushing the most lovely shade of green. He glanced down at the half massed erection. Spock twisted his body slightly making it a little less noticeable as he gazed up at Jim.

"Forgive me," He said. "I really did just want you to get some sleep…unfortunately watching you strip was a little more arousing than I anticipated."

Jim blinked. Spock found him so attractive that he'd grown aroused? "Just give me a minute and I'm sure I can get it to go down,"

"No." Jim interrupted laying down near Spock. "No, it's…, it's okay." He said as he pressed against the taller mans side. Spock rolled so his back was facing Jim. Jim spooned the Vulcan and wrapped his arm around him. Spock gasped slightly as a hand blindly fondled his half erect penis. "I'll…I can help you if you'd like."

Spock's eyes fluttered closed.

"I'd love that."

Jim fondled blindly, gently brushing and tapping the alien member till it was fully erect before wrapping his hand around the hard flesh. He heard a thankful sigh escape his husband as he began sliding his hand up and down along the shaft. Appreciated sounds escaped the man he loved as he continued rubbing the longer member. How long had it been since he'd touched Spock? He couldn't even remember. He had seen Spock naked on a daily basis, while Spock showered and prepared for work, but they had not touched or lay in bed naked for, months and months. Jim felt a bit of guilt wash over him. Their sexual activities had stopped when Jim found himself having a little trouble getting it up, it wasn't that he was aroused by his husband, or that he didn't enjoy him physically, quite the opposite, he loved seeing Spock naked, he just…couldn't get it up. He'd felt ashamed by that fact, but now he felt guilty for cutting Spock off for so long. Spock was obviously still in his prime, being young for a Vulcan and was still able to grow aroused. Spock moaned and arched his head back so Jim's nose brushed against his neck. "Jim, you think to loudly." He mumbled. Jim blushed and kissed the back of his husbands neck.

"Sorry love, I forgot." He apologized as he put up his shields to prevent his thoughts from aimlessly crossing the bond they shared. It was obvious Spock was enjoying himself a little to much to put up his own shields.

Spock was panting softly as his member was massaged. He mewled his body twisting slightly so he wasn't exactly on his side but was leaning against Jim. "That feels so good Jim, uhhn." He praised, his member leaking his pre-ejaculation fluids all over his husbands hand, which in turn just got smeared all over his member with the motions of the hand working him into a frenzy, which he repressed.

Jim didn't miss how vocal his love was being, sure Spock had always blessed him by expressing himself through sound when they would enjoy each others bodies, to reasure him that yes, he was touching the right place or stroking the right way or thrusting in at just the right angle, but he was only massaging his penis, Spock had never been this vocal before.

Despite Jim's shields being up Spock picked up on the confusion and curiosity coming from his husband he turned his head so he could look back at Jim. He panted. "It's just been, nnngmm…along time Jim."

Another wave of guilt washed over Jim when he remembered. Spock most likely wasn't masturbating. Spock had always believed masturbating was something private and something he did not like doing in front of anyone, even Jim! And since retiring, they had been living in the small apartment together. They were always together save when they were at work. While Jim showered Spock would brush his teeth and shave, while Spock showered Jim would brush his teeth and shower. They would dress together, undress together and go to bed together. Spock never had anytime alone. Spock moaned his eyes closing and his head lawling back, lips parted as he moaned as Jim's fingers brushed against his frenulum. Jim paused for a second as Spock's hand came up and pressed hard against his shoulder, fingers curling and uncurling. He had a feeling Spock would have been hold onto him if his position allowed it. "Don't stop, don't stop." Spock pleaded, his eyes tightly closed as he swallowed and panted, chest heaving quickly. Jim brushed the pads of his fingers over that sensitive piece of skin that connected the foreskin to the head of his husbands green tinted cock. Spock's moans grew in volume before falling back as he panted uncontrollably, his chest rising and falling rapidly, his fingers curling and uncurling as pleasure racked through his body. Jim could feel the sweat slicking their skin as Spock moaned and squirmed.

Jim knew that the frenulum was extremely sensitive, and in human males continues stimulation would bring on orgasm, but he knew it would only bring his husband to the brink, but he also knew what would make him cum. The hand that was pressed firmly against his shoulder continued to flex. Jim timed himself and as the fingers uncurled and wrapped his mouth around the index and middle finger, sliding his tongue along the tips and sucking gently. And with that, Spock's eyes snapped open and he let out a cry as he arched his muscles stiffening as he ejaculated. Jim wrapped his hand around his husbands pulsing member and worked his hand up and down as thick streams of sticky cum coated his hand and splattered Spock's lower abdomen. Soon Spock's muscles relaxed and he collapsed back onto the bed, a panting sweaty mess. Jim released his husbands fingers, which twitched slightly before he wrapped both arms around the Vulcan and hugged him against his chest, smearing a bit of cum along the taller mans stomach and chest as he did so. "I love you Spock." Jim said as he kissed his lovers neck. Spock nodded, still incapable of speaking, so he just nodded several times before rolling so he was facing Jim and wrapped his own arms around him. He pressed their foreheads together and let love, happiness, gratefulness and a hint of arousal wash through the bond. Jim chuckled. "You're still aroused?" Jim asked disbelievingly. Spock kissed his chin before bowing his head and snuggling against his husbands neck.

"I can't help it Jim, you do this to me. You always had. I want you, please Jim, take me?"

Jim felt his heart tighten in his chest and love overflow inside of him.

"Oh Spock I…I'd love to but I just, I can't get it up." He said quietly gently kissing a pointed tip of one of the Vulcan's ears. Spock rolled him onto his stomach and stood on his hands and knees over him.

"Let me help you." Spock said before slinking downward and gently nudging his nose against Jim's flaccid penis and round fleshy testicles. He gently placed a kiss against the slightly indented fleshy area at the base of his partners testicles before pulling the head of the flaccid penis into his mouth.

"Spock…I…." Jim's word died as chocolate brown eyes reflecting the light from the hall gazed up at him. He pulled more of Jim's member into his mouth and continued laving it with saliva and sucking gently. It felt good, really good but Jim just, he couldn't get it up. Even if he wanted it to. He felt Spock's comforting thoughts brush against his mind. Jim, you are still healthy, more than capable of producing erections. You stopped being able to produce erections several months ago, and if my calculations are correct, that is around the time you started stressing about your age and physical attractiveness no?

Jim gaped at him and nodded. Spock made a humming sound, causing the muscles in Jim's stomach to twitch slightly. When a man is stressed, this can prevent erections Jim. Please relax, just remember how much I love you, and I really do find you attractive. You know I would not lie to you.

Jim found it amusing that Spock had not claimed that Vulcan's could not lie. He sighed and nodded, laying his head back and closing his eyes. He just focused on Spock, on the loving, comforting presence with a hint of arousal in his mind, and the warm, wet sensation that was Spock's mouth wrapped around his member.

After awhile Jim couldn't help but moan, with a little help from Spock he did successfully achieve an erection. Spock warned him and chided him slightly telling him not to worry about holding the erection, the mere fact that he'd achieved one should prove that he was more than capable. So instead of worrying Jim had rolled his husband over and kissed him, deeply and passionately while massaging his hands gently. Spock moaned into his mouth at the sensation of his hands being massaged. Soon both of them were aroused and hard and heatedly kissing and touching and rutting against each other. "Jim." Spock whispered, gently licking the shell of Jim's round ear. "Please. Inside me."

Jim nodded tilting his head and gently nipping the tip of Spock's own ear causing him to hiss and arch slightly, their erections rubbing unashamed against each other making them both moan loudly.

"Okay, okay let me prepare you." Jim panted as he leaned over the bed and pulled out the mint scented lube that was kept in Spock's bedside table drawer.

He pulled out the lube and squirted a generous amount onto his fingers. Spock who was laying on his back, pulled the pillow from his side over, they had some how rolled over to Jim's side of the bed, and put it under the lower portion of his back, making him arch slightly. He pulled his knees up to his chest, holding them their with his hands easily. Jim smiled at him before smearing the tingling lube along Spock's entrance. Spock's toes curled slightly, his left leg jerking.

"That's cold." He mumbled. Jim apologized before inserting a finger into the waiting entrance. Spock was capable of relaxing his muscles, so penetration wasn't all that uncomfortable, but stretching was still something they enjoyed doing.

After having slipped four fingers inside of Spock and stretching him in every what way, Jim pulled his fingers out and squirted some more lube onto them before smearing the cool substance along his shaft, causing him to shiver slightly. Once he was coated he scooted closer to Spock and gently took hold of his thighs, keeping them in place, allowing Spock to release himself and rest his hands above his head. Jim pressed his member against Spock's waiting entrance. "Go a head Jim." Spock assured, his voice laced with lust. Jim pushed forward and with a lovely slowness sunk all the way inside of his lover, both moaning at the sensation of both being encased in warmth and filled that washed over him.

Due to the bond they shared they could experience each others pleasure, feeling the sensation of being filled while in fact doing the filling. It was quite a sensory overload that they both enjoyed. Both moaned and groaned as they moved together, their thrusts matching in a steady rhythm. Not fast, or hard, but not slow or soft, just right, steady. Spock opened his eyes and reached up with his right hand, his fingers hovering over Jim's face. "Jim. I…I want to meld with you." he panted as his body continued to shift on the sheets, his skin coated in sweat, hair messy and sticking up in odd angles.

"I won't be able to last." Jim warned. Spock shook his head.

"Neither will I, but please."

Jim nodded. Spock pressed his fingers to the melt points, Jim doing the same to him and they melded. Their world evaporating and being replaced with only each other, their wholeness, their togetherness their ecstasy. Waves of love, devotion and faithfulness flooded around them. Warm wrapping around them in a mixture of warm light till both groaned loudly, the meld breaking as they both arched, both spilling themselves at the same time. Spock spilled himself all over their stomachs, while Jim filled him up with his warm sticky essence. Spock moaned as they both collapsed onto the bed, Jim on top of him, smearing his seed against their bellies. They lay there panting for a long while before growing still, both laying still in silence.

"Am I squishing you?" Jim asked in a tired voice from the general area of Spock's chest. Spock lifted a hand and began running his fingers through sweaty locks.

"Not at all love, your weight against me is quite reassuring." He stated truthfully. Jim nodded and sighed.

"Good…because I don't want to move."

Spock chuckled as he wrapped his arms around Jim and listened to him fall into slumber. As Spock lay there, eyes closed, smile on his face sleeping creeping in he was glad that Jim had permitted him to make a point. He was also glad that his point worked, even gladder that he'd gotten sex out of it. He'd missed Jim touching him, he loved his husband, and loved his touch. I love you T'hy'la.

Authors Note: yay finally done! This took four hours! And that entire time I was listening to almost love 24/7 by Jessica Jarrell.