AN: Hello, everybody! This is my first Fairy Tail story ever published on FF, so I apologize if I seem to write anyone out-of-character!

Wendy: But, Starmz, isn't this supposed to be a crack-fic? So it doesn't matter, ne?

Lucy: Uhn! This is all for the hilarity!

Starmz: W-well... Thank you for believing in me. I hope I can live up to your expectations!

Natsu: Alright, I'm all fired up!

Happy: Aye sir!

Genre: Humour/Romance/Drama

Rating: T to be safe, though most of the chapters could be considered K+

Themes: Random, purely based on one-word/brief prompts I get from friends

Disclaimer: The usual stuff. Fairy Tail does not belong to me (I wish!), and instead was created by Hiro Mashima. This story and writing, however, does.

Greetings.

The boatman could still recall his first time seeing the beautiful blonde girl. It had been just before the sun set, an hour one may place in the category of 'late afternoon'. He'd been admiring the sky, for his job required not much strength nor skill, and the man could afford to relax.

As always at this time, the sun had painted the sky a stunning array of vivid colours. Deep reds, fiery oranges and light yellows blended into each other, creating a wonderfully complementary gradient. A small smile appeared on his face, feeling thankful that at this point in his life, he was still able to witness such miracles of nature. Yet the boatman was soon to revel in the sight of something that, dare he think, rivaled the sky in it's magnificence.

For a newcomer had arrived, a slight girl with flaxen blonde hair. Her figure was, undoubtedly, not something to laugh at, but what drew him most to her was her soft brown eyes. As a shy smile of her own graced her fair face, he marveled in this young lady's gentle expression. It was as if sunlight itself had been born within her.

Fortunately for the boatman, he was not yet so distracted that his head hit the bridge right in front of him. Ducking down hastily, he swiftly turned around, hoping that she hadn't disappeared. And there she was. Except now she seemed to be holding something shiny, glinting in the fading light. Squinting, he tried to make out what it was. A … key? Strange, but then he shouldn't have expected such beauty to come without catches.

However, what happened next was not something he'd quite expected. The well-endowed figure had instead slashed the key in the air, shouting a few brief words and summoning some kind of creature. Perhaps it was a mutated animal? Though the boatman preferred to appear calm and composed, his mildly surprised expression betrayed him. Then a relenting smile made the corners of his lips turn up. After all, he lived in a city with a guild for mages. What else should he have expected?

As he neared the end of his near-daily route, the man was suddenly struck by an urge to call out to her. To let her know he was here. Not to introduce himself, per se, but simply to give her a friendly face to recognize while she was still here. Who knew, could she be moving in? It was a possibility he was willing to entertain. She was actually fairly pretty and it may do him good.

Deciding to proceed with this nerve-racking matter, the boatman summoned up every ounce of his courage and yelled at the girl, "Hey! Lady, make sure you don't fall in, okay?"

One deliciously warm smile as she thought about what she'd reply with.

One heartbeat full of worry and various other unidentifiable emotions.

"Of course, I'll try my best!"

Little did he know that he had started a tradition that would continue on as long as Lucy Heartfilia, the noble but innocent girl lived in that little house that costed 70,000 jewels monthly.

/ So I hope I didn't do too badly!

Please review and comment on what you liked/disliked – and I'll be accepting requests both for this 'story' and another drabble story I plan to start! This is only the first in the Crack Files, which I'll be making for each main character … and maybe a few more, if the audience demands it? I also apologize for any mistakes, that'd be purely my fault. I did not get somebody to beta-read this, as I did not believe this would require much proof-reading (being something that shouldn't be taken seriously) ^^;

Until then, sayonara and stay happy!