Title: Falling
Prompt:Fear of Heights
Medium: Fic
Rating: PG
Warnings: none
Summary:Buffy attempts to face her fears.
Buffy took a slow, deep breath as she tried to calm her racing heart down. She knew she had to do this. As the Slayer, it was her duty to fight the forces of evil, and sometimes that involved jumping from roof to roof or scaling walls.
"Okay. I can do this." She whispered to herself, clenching and unclenching her fists. Her vamp senses were going crazy, and she knew that she was being watched. Normally this would bother her, but in this case she knew who her stalker was. It made her even more nervous, knowing that someone could see her hurt so clearly. At the same time it empowered her, because she knew that this particular vampire would do anything to help her – even stand back and watch as she made a leap of faith.
Slowly, she took a few steps forward and stared out over the calm oceanic view. The water was deceptively calm, but she knew that underwater currents could be lurking, waiting to suck her under.
"Just take a deep breath, Buffy. You can do this," she told herself, rubbing her arms nervously. She felt the presence take a few steps closer to her and she tried desperately to take comfort in his presence. Unfortunately, as she took a few steps closer to the edge, his presence started to help her less and less and her fear started to rage out of control.
"Oh, God. I can't do this." She said, and she took quick steps back before turning and jogging back towards the road. Midway there she slowed and Spike stepped out form the shadows to walk beside her.
"You got closer than last time, pet." He said positively, "Maybe tomorrow."
"Yeah. Maybe tomorrow." She agreed, her voice showing her doubt. They walked in silence for a few moments, before she finally spoke.
"I'm just kidding myself. We've only got two days left here, and then Giles is expecting me to be home to tell him all about the stupid cheese puff demon." She said angrily, "And we should have left two days ago, right after we slayed that thing! I'm just being stupid."
"Hey, hey." Spike said, jogging a few steps ahead so he could step in front of her and place his hands on her shoulders, keeping her still, "Don't think like that. This isn't stupid or pointless. You're the Slayer, and you've been through some pretty hard times. You need this just as much as your duty does."
"How can I do this when all I can see is me jumping into that stupid portal?" Buffy asked weakly, her eyes tearing up, "I'm terrified, Spike. And that demon almost killed me because of it."
Her mind flashed back to three days previous, when she and Spike were running through the streets and chasing after the Heesuff demon that had been terrorizing the town for days. When he disappeared into a nearby building, they followed him up the stairs and onto the roof. At first Buffy was fine, the adrenaline keeping her occupied. Then she neared the edge, where the demon was slowly backing away. Then her mind flashed back to her jump off of Glory's tower.
She froze. The demon recognized her pause, and lunged at her, his long, slimy fangs reaching for her neck. If Spike hadn't been there to tackle the demon and snap its neck, Buffy would have been dead. Again.
"How about we try something less drastic, then?" Spike offered. "I saw a rock climbing wall set up in town a few miles back. You can climb that."
"It's not the same!" Buffy protested, "I'll look down, and I'll still panic. It won't help. Spike, I can't live like this, knowing that there's something out there that can completely cripple me!"
"Then fight back." Spike said firmly, running his hands up and down her arms soothingly. She unconsciously began to lean into his touch, "Tomorrow, we'll both go to the cliff. And we'll both jump. I'll hold your hand the whole way down. You don't have to be alone, Slayer."
Buffy looked up at Spike with tear filled eyes, and she nodded after a moment, "Okay." She whispered, "I'll try."
"That's all I ask, luv." Spike said softly, "Now let's get back to the hotel, and I'll fix you some hot chocolate. Then you can curl up all nice and safe in your bed and go to sleep."
"But I'm not tired." Buffy protested softly, "Can we slay some more?"
Spike laughed and nodded, stepping to the side and finally letting the Slayer walk towards his car.
.
"You ready?" Spike asked softly, his hand gently curled around Buffy's. They stood a few feet back from the cliffs edge, and he could hear Buffy's heart hammering away in her chest. Her palm was cold and sweaty, and clutching his hand tightly.
"No." she whispered, but even as she said it she took another step towards the cliff. Spike gave her hand a soft squeeze.
"How about we run?" Spike said. She looked at him with a furrowed brow, before she seemed to realize he meant towards the cliff, not away.
"You mean a running jump?" she asked.
"Exactly." Spike agreed, "That way you can't stop easily."
"But what if my legs lock up?" she asked.
"I'll pick you up and keep running." Spike answered, "Is that what you want me to do?"
Buffy paused, before nodding. "Yeah. I think that'll be okay. Just keep running, and don't let me close my eyes. Right?"
"Right." Spike agreed.
"But what if I want you to stop?" Buffy asked in a panic. Spike faced Buffy and gently held her shoulders.
"Buffy, pet, you're starting to psyche yourself out. Just take a deep breath, and trust me." He hesitated, "Do you trust me?"
Buffy was silent for a long moment, before finally she nodded, and she saw him visibly relax. "Yes. I trust you."
"Then believe me when I say I will not let you fall alone."
There was a tense moment where the two super-beings just stared at each other, and Spike basked in the Slayers presence. Finally, with a heavy sigh, she turned from him and faced the cliff. "Okay. Lets do this."
Spike gave her hand a firm squeeze, and hand in hand, they ran towards the cliff. They ran as fast as they could, and when Buffy's breath began to come in short bursts as fear began to catch up to her, her mind began to flash back to her time on Glory's tower. Spike seemed to sense her uneasiness, and he gave her hand a firm squeeze.
And then, they were airborne. Buffy's heart thundered in her chest and tears burned in her eyes, while Spike whooped loudly beside her, his hand firmly clasped in hers. She knew if he had been human her tight grasp on his hand would have cut off his circulation and possibly broken a bone or two.
The water was rushing towards them, and Buffy let out a small sob as she tried to rationalize that nothing was going to happen to her. Spike gave her hand a squeeze and a soft warning.
"Close your eyes, pet." He whispered.
And then they hit the water.
