Disclaimer: The song used in this story is called "Even In Death" and it belongs to the band, "Evanescence."
I own nothing.
Warning: Character Death
xXxEven In DeathxXx
The buzz from the alcohol he chugged down made his head gyrate. Allowing his mind to escape from all the coherent thoughts swirling around the inside of his brain, prior to his visit to the local bar. He rolled down all of the windows in his car, not caring for his seat belt, as he sped down the street, permitting the chilly breeze to flow inside.
It ate away at the lukewarm air surrounding the interior of the car, causing goosebumps to appear on his alabaster skin. The wind howled as the pedal was stepped further on, jerking the vehicle to move quicker.
A slender smile crept onto the driver's face, loving the way the air blew through his silver tresses. The wind, it was an element he adored ever since he was a young child. Whenever it blew through his hair, exactly how it was at this moment, he felt unrestricted.
He felt as if he could accomplish anything he wanted to. Even if what he yearned for the most was to run away. Just leave everything and everyone he had come to love and adore behind, and move on with his life. He longed to be free again.
It was a state of emotion he missed terribly.
He tore his gaze from the road ahead and turned his attention to the radio. He fiddled with the buttons for a few seconds, changing station after station, searching for a song he could blast into the night. A song that would awaken the individuals occupying the houses he drove past.
He knew it was a deplorable thing to do, but he didn't care.
He took a quick glance at the road ahead, before fidgeting with the buttons again. He found a channel playing, "The Ghost Of You" by My Chemical Romance, rotating the knob controlling the volume to its maximum potential. He smirked in triumph as he returned his gaze back towards the road ahead, content.
Never aware of the honking from another automobile because of the earsplitting music. Not until it was too late.
The impact from the collision caused Riku's entire body to lurch forward, his head slamming into the stone like windshield, causing it to fracture. He felt pieces of the glass pierce his aquamarine eyes, his neck penetrated by the sharp, pointy remnants of the now shattered windshield.
He could feel the blood pouring from his wounds, down the sides of his head. He tried calling for help, but couldn't. A piece of glass was forced into his vocal chords, leaving him mute. The fragments stabbing him in his eyes left him blinded.
He could hear gasps of astonishment from onlookers that rushed out of their houses after hearing the collision, one having enough courtesy to tell him that help was coming.
The blaring of sirens in the far off distance proved her statement to be fact. Riku only wished that he would be able to hold out for that long. He could feel the blood everywhere, the wound from his throat ejecting the liquid flowing through his veins onto the front of his favorite shirt.
He could hear someone else talking to him, but couldn't comprehend what they were saying. His hearing was fading as well, in and out. His heart's erratic beating was beginning to slow, his arms falling limp at his sides.
He could feel someone's hand on his back, another grasping his head, holding it still as they struck the windshield, breaking it further to free him. He could feel them place him on a flat surface, picking away at his throat with some type of object for a few minutes.
He could feel them wrap something around his neck tightly, hopefully attempting to cease his blood loss, before carrying him into the back of the ambulance. The sound of the sirens thunderous roar was the last thing Riku heard before falling unconscious.
Never to wake again.
Sora received a phone call from the hospital, a doctor revealing to him that his husband was just brought in, and that his presence was required. The brunet didn't even hang the phone up, just dashed to his car and sped to the hospital.
He gave himself talks along the way, mostly telling himself to calm down. That Riku would be alright. The more he repeated those words, the less he believed him, though. A pang in his chest kept telling him otherwise. That Riku wasn't going to be okay, that something was seriously wrong with the older man.
Oh, how Sora prayed he was wrong.
He spun into the hospital's emergency parking lot, thrusting the steering wheel to the right, causing the car to make a sharp turn into an empty parking space. The brunet tugged the key out of the ignition, locking the door quickly and charged towards the emergency room.
He ran past the double doors, his hair even more disheveled than usual. Sweat pouring down the sides of his face as his cerulean eyes scanned the room uneasily. He always hated hospitals.
"Um, sir. Can I help you?" The receptionist at the counter gave him a weary look.
"I-I'm looking for my husband, Riku Hikari." Her expression changed into one of sorrow, almost pitiful. She exchanged glances with one of the doctors standing next to her, silently begging him to be the bearer of bad news, instead of her.
He sighed, obliging. "Your husband is Mr. Hikari, correct?"
The brunet only nodded, his mind not able to form words into logical sentences. The doctor groaned, adjusting the glasses perched upon his nose before looking straight into Sora's eyes.
"I'm sorry to tell you this, sir, but your husband was a victim of a horrible car accident. He died a couple of minutes after being brought into the hospital."
Sora only stared at the older man, speechless. He felt his heart crumble into a million, minuscule pieces. His vision grew hazy as his mind began to swirl with irrational thoughts. Words jumbled together as the brunet tried to respond, his tongue feeling overweight as the insides of his mouth began to dry.
His sapphire eyes began to sting as tears threatened to fall at any given moment, his legs growing weak as they proceeded to give out, obviously not able to hold his weight upwards any longer. The doctor lunged forward, clasping his arm around the younger man's waist, holding him in place.
"I-I want t-to see him."
The doctor groaned again, motioning for a nurse with his free arm. She obediently came over, grabbing Sora's left arm, allowing him to lean on her as she guided him to the room Riku's dead body laid in. He trudged along, eyes still glassy. Not really sure if he was ready to see the love of his life in such a coma-like state.
She opened the door with her free hand, dragging Sora inside along with her over to Riku's bed. He gently tugged his arm away, thanking her for her help, before staring at the figure hidden underneath the white sheet, with an unreadable expression.
"Are you sure you want to see this?" The nurse placed her petite hands on the edge of the sheet, looking at the brunet for an answer. She was hoping he would decline so she wouldn't have to bare the sight, either.
He gulped, staring directly at where Riku's flawless face was supposed to be and nodded. He gripped onto the bars at the side of the bed tightly, causing his knuckles to turn a ghostly shade of white. The nurse closed her eyes, peeling away the sheet that hid Riku's now battered up face.
She heard the brunet at the side of her gasp, before falling to his knees, sobbing. She gave him a pitiful look before patting him on the back, saying that she would give him some privacy, before walking out the room and closing the door behind her with a soft thunk.
Give me a reason to believe that you're gone
I see your shadow so I know, they're all wrong
Sora continued to weep, tiny droplets of water flowing freely down his cheeks. He didn't want to believe anything they said. For all he knew, this could all be a misunderstanding.
A cruel joke played on him because of all the things he screamed at the older man before Riku stormed out of the house, upset.
He carefully picked himself up from the floor, leaning against the bed railing for support. The brunet pulled the light-colored fabric further down the silver-haired man's body, revealing his torso.
He placed his right hand gently on the older man's chest, letting it wander towards the patch of skin that Riku's heart lay underneath.
It lingered there for a few seconds, applying pressure every now and then, searching. A tiny wrinkle appeared on the owner of the hand's forehead as he concentrated on his newfound goal.
But no matter how much concentration Sora set into his new task, nothing would be accomplished. He would never feel Riku's heart beating again.
Because the older man was truly deceased.
Moonlight on the soft brown Earth, it leads me to where you lay
They took you away from me, but now I'm taking you home
The funeral was held a week later. Many attended, each wearing a gloomy color that went along wonderfully with the weather. Faces were downcast, tears rolling freely down most. Some stood with long faces, refusing to cry because of their pride.
Sora being one of them.
But he didn't cry because of pride. His pride could go to hell for all he cared at the moment. The only thing that ceased his weeping was Riku. He knew the older man wouldn't want the brunet to cry, especially not over him.
So he stood there, shaken. Blocking out the words being spewed out of the priest's mouth, and focusing his attention on the coffin laying in front of him. Illogical thoughts spun around his mind, most leading towards suicide. Others going towards him leaping into Riku's grave as they lowered the casket holding the deceased.
But that would be considered suicidal as well, right?
The brunet closed his eyes tightly, until it hurt, willing away all of the horrible thoughts running through his mind. He mentally slapped himself, Riku wouldn't want Sora to kill himself either. He felt so stupid for even thinking about suicide.
A warm hand on his shoulder snapped Sora out of his rambling.
"This is your last chance to say goodbye."
Kairi gave him a bittersweet smile. She could tell that Sora was dying inside, that he blamed himself for what happened to Riku. It amazed her, though, how well he was holding up. He wasn't crying, screaming, or doing anything dramatic. He only stood there, as if accepting Riku's fate.
She was proud of him.
The ceremony continued for another hour or so. The body was already lowered into its new home six feet under. Friends and family said their farewells, most leaving flowers for the deceased while saying how much they loved him and would miss him, departing from the cemetery soon after.
Soon, Sora was the only one left standing in front of the tombstone. He was aware of the fact that it was getting late and Kairi was waiting for him in her car, but he couldn't leave. He yearned to be with Riku, no matter the case. He wasn't going to let death stop him from being with his beloved.
I will stay forever here with you, my love
The softly spoken words you gave me,
Even in death our love goes on
He would stay with Riku, even if it meant he would have to live next to the older man's grave. He knew it sounded creepy, but he couldn't help it. Riku was the love of life, the one person that was always there for him whenever he needed comfort.
Sora couldn't just abandon his lover, Riku still needed him. Even in death.
Some say I'm crazy for my love, oh my love
But no one can hold me from your side, my love
They don't know you can't leave, the don't hear you singing to me
He took a seat next to the grave, glaring at the tombstone with hate. It wasn't true, Riku wasn't dead. Riku couldn't be dead. This was all just some sick, twisted nightmare. The brunet began to sob uncontrollably, bringing his knees up to his chest as he hid his face behind them, clasping his arms around them tightly.
Memories came as flashbacks in the back of his mind. Days he didn't even remember spending with Riku began to appear in his head, like a movie. Hugs, kisses, touches, words said. He remembered everything, and it tore his already battered heart into shreds.
I will stay forever here with you, my love
The softly spoken words you gave me,
Even in death our love goes on
And I can't love you anymore than I do
He recalled something Riku once told him. A promise the older man made to him a few years ago, when they first got together. He declared to Sora one day that he would always love him. He said that he wouldn't let anything stop him from being with the brunet for all eternity.
And Sora believed him. Every single word.
But Riku lied. He let something stop him from being with Sora. And if he loved the brunet, he wouldn't have left him in such heartbreaking way. If Riku held any type of affection for the younger man, he wouldn't have left him cold and alone in a world the brunet couldn't survive in by himself.
But he could never hate Riku. Never.
Especially when the older man's death was his fault. If he never argued with the silver-haired man, he would have never left the house at such an ungodly hour in the middle of the night. And if he never left, he wouldn't have gotten into the car accident.
Which would result in Riku never getting killed. He would've lived. Perfectly alive and with Sora. That's all the brunet wanted. For his Riku to come back to him, but he knew it would never happen.
Resurrection only happened in movies, after all.
A new flood of tears proceeded to flow from Sora's eyes. It was all his fault. Not Riku's. Only his. And that realization felt like someone took a sharp and pointy samurai sword and stabbed it into Sora's already broken heart. Twisting and turning it in numerous ways, only to cause the brunet more pain.
Footsteps could be heard making their way towards Sora, but he chose to ignore them. He just wanted to be left alone. The only person he was willing to acknowledge right now was Riku, and the brunet knew that would never happen again.
Skinny arms attempted to wrap themselves around the younger man. But failed due to Sora's current position.
"Sora, look at me." The brunet didn't cooperate with the demand. He wanted to be alone. He wanted privacy with his lover as he cried his eyes out for the older man. Why couldn't anyone understand that?
Kairi let out a weary sigh. She should have known he'd break down when he was alone. It was only human, after all. To cry for your love when they died. She began rubbing soothing circles onto Sora's back, encouraging him that everything would be okay from now on.
"Sora, you know Riku wouldn't want this." Of course, the brunet knew that. He figured that out since the beginning of the funeral. But he couldn't help it. He truly loved the older man, and now that Riku was gone forever, he felt that the right thing to do was cry.
"Right?"
The brunet lifted his head from its hiding spot, wiping away any stray teardrops. He let out a sigh before nodding. She was right. Riku wouldn't want him depressed. He glanced at her and gave his best friend a tiny smile.
Kairi always said the right things at the right times.
"Thanks."
He sniffled before leaning his head against her shoulder. She wrapped her arms around him tightly, resting her head on top of his own. His spiky hair tickled the left side of her neck, but she ignored the urge to giggle. This was no time to laugh.
Not today.
"You know, the last thing I told him was to drop dead."
Kairi stared at the brunet next to her questioningly. He turned to look at her expression, and wasn't surprised by what he saw.
"We argued before he left. I don't even remember what it was about. Just that before he stormed out the house I told him to go drop dead."
His eyes turned glassy, tears attempting to force their way out from his eyes. He wiped them away hastily, already tired of crying.
"I killed him, Kairi. I killed him."
She didn't like seeing Sora like this. He was always so full of happiness and optimism. He was like the little ball of sunshine in their group of friends. It's what drew Riku into falling in love with the younger man in the first place.
Seeing him so depressed, accusing himself for Riku's death. It wasn't like him, at all. But she couldn't blame him for acting that way.
After hearing what Sora said only moments ago, she could empathize. If she told the love of her life that and found him dead a couple of hours later, she would blame herself, too.
It was heartbreaking how everything ended.
"Sora, don't blame yourself. Riku wouldn't want you, too. I'm sure he knew you didn't mean what you said."
The brunet snorted in response."Yeah, that's why he listened."
The auburn-haired girl sitting next to gave him an indescribable look. Her violet eyes grew angry as they turned into slits before whacking Sora in the back of his spiky-haired head.
"Ow! What the-"
"Stop thinking like that! Riku loved you and he knew you would never mean something like that!"
Her aggravated eyes turned into one of compassion. She lowered her raised hand and stared straight into the spiky-haired man's cobalt eyes. She wanted him to know she was serious. That she wasn't just making up bullshit to make him feel better.
Well she was trying to make him feel better, but she meant what she said about the situation.
"Sora, I'm sure Riku's up there somewhere watching over you. And when your time does come, he'll be there. He'll guide you into the afterlife and the two of you can live the life you both deserve. Together and in love. Okay?"
He wanted to believe her, he truly did. But it was hard, too. First reason being that he wasn't even sure if the afterlife existed. The second being the doubt that filled his heart and mind. Would Riku even still want him after everything he said?
Kairi could sense his hesitance. She clasped both of her hands over his right one, squeezing his hand for reassurance. He gave her an indecisive look before letting out a loud sigh and nodding. She gave him a large Kairi-like grin before throwing her arms around him and hugging him tightly.
She knew he'd get it sooner or later.
"Now come on, let's get going." She proceeded to stand up, dragging the brunet with her. He gave her a weary look but agreed in fear of getting smacked again.
He trudged over to Riku's grave, gently pressing his lips against his index and middle finger before placing them on the exact spot where the older man's name was etched into the tombstone.
He took a few steps back, whispering something only his lover would hear, before making his way over to where Kairi was standing.
"Love you, Ri. No matter what."
( I can die, but real love is forever)
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