A/N: This is about the classic arcade game, A.P.B., not A.P.B. Reloaded.
Disclaimer: I do not own A.P.B. or its characters.
Cops and Robbers
It was my first day on the job. I am Officer Bob, a rookie police officer on the city's police force. I drive a patrol car, number 54, and I carry a badge.
It's Day 1. I have just driven around a practice course, and I now have the hang of how to pull over perpetrators. I was even able to drive all the way back to the police station in the allotted time, and I won a bonus for my effort and talent. The Chief is quite impressed, and wishes me well on my first official day out on the streets, but he has also warned me that if I get more than five demerits during my first couple of weeks on the force, I'll be fired. And demerits include not arresting the day's quota of criminals, shooting innocent vehicles, crashing the police car, or running out of gas.
These next few days of cops and robbers will prove to be an exciting time for me.
Now it's Day 2. I am driving away from the police station, on my way to find eight cars with law-breaking litterbugs in them by the time the day is out. I drive quickly through the city, noticing a couple of litterbugs right away in pink cars. I turn on the car's siren and give chase. One by one, they each pull over and allow me to meter out justice to them, saying things like, "Okay, I'm pulling over!" and "Whatever you say, officer."
The day goes by and I encounter two more of them. I almost crash the car trying to make them pull over, but I catch them nonetheless. Then I do crash the car while trying to pull over two more. The Chief pulls on my nose angrily for that.
After I get back on the street, I pull over the rest of the four remaining target cars without incident, although I pull into the donut shop to earn myself a little more time. By that time, the day was just about over, and the Chief, in a much better mood, congratulates me on my first official day of work.
On Day 3, the other officers and I received our first A.P.B., or All Points Bulletin. A drug dealer named Freddy Freak is loose in the city, and there's a big reward out for his capture. The recommended method for capturing him is to ram his vehicle off of the road. As part of my daily quota, I also have to find four more litterbug cars to pull over, and somewhere in town, a person with a broken down car needed help.
I pulled out of the station again. It wasn't much trouble arresting the four litterbugs, who were driving pink, open-top cars again, and I eventually found the person with the broken down car on the right side of the street, whom I stopped to help, as I had sworn I would do. She thanked me for my help, and I was beginning to feel some self-satisfaction. I stopped for some donuts as the day dragged on.
Finally, as I passed a building on the side of the road, a large van carrying Freddy Freak pulled out in front of me and began to put the pedal to the medal. I put on some speed myself, and soon I was in hot pursuit. I hit the siren, and then I pulled in close. Here I must say that helping the helpless woman with the broken car had caused my car to be upgraded, giving it some armor, new brakes, and a tougher finish. I used this to my advantage as I proceeded to ram Freddy Freak's van, first from behind, and then by the side. Finally, I managed to ram the side of his van hard enough to make him drive off the road and be forced to stop.
It was late in the day, and I put my interrogation skills to work, intimidating Freddy into talking about his drug activities and his other agents. The Confess-O-Meter said I had succeeded in making him talk. He was charged, tried, and convicted, and his drug ring was stopped. The Chief praised my ability to defeat the criminal scum of the city, and another day ended well for me.
Day 4. Today I had to pull over three litterbugs, one drunk, and one doper by the time the day was out. I was able to pull over the litterbugs with little problem, though not no problem. One swerving litterbug who tried to evade me caused me to crash my squad car again. And once again, the Chief was mad. He shook me like a disobedient child until my teeth were rattling.
But I got back out there, and I caught my last litterbug, along with a few extras as a bonus. Then I dealt with the drunk. A car was swerving unevenly along the street, and I knew that the driver had to be intoxicated. It was tricky, but I managed to pull him over. He, too, said, "Whatever you say, officer," but when he said it, it sounded like he was saying it through a mouthful of crackers.
Unfortunately, I wasn't able to catch the doper by the end of the day, despite going to the donut shop twice in one day. The Chief was really in a rage this time. "Lousy cop!" he shouted. Then he breathed fire in my face! That was certainly a crispy treat! I had to go home with an unfulfilled day's work, or at least partly unfulfilled.
Day 5. There was another All Points Bulletin. Sid Sniper, a gunman responsible for murdering several people sniper style, was on the loose, and I had to catch him, as well as arrest two drunk drivers, a doper, and help two people in need of help from the law. It was recommended that I meet Sid Sniper's gunfire with gunfire of my own, so I was issued my first firearm that day. I hoped I could get through this one without a demerit.
First one, and then two, drunk drivers crossed my path. I used my siren to make them pull over, and they were arrested and their vehicles impounded. There was a person on the side of the street who needed help after being beaten up by a passer-by, so I helped her. Then I found a man with a flat tire, and I assisted him, too. A doper was found selling drugs to a kid next to the donut shop, but I stopped both of them and turned them in, stopping at the shop afterwards for a brief break to earn some more time.
Suddenly, a big car passed me by, with gunfire erupting from it. I knew it was Sid Sniper. I pursued, and he fired at me. I fired back. I was ultimately able to disable his car by shooting his tires, but I accidentally clipped a tire of an innocent automobile, too. At the station, I put the squeeze on Sid Sniper, and he caved in, admitting to all his killings. The Confess-O-Meter came out on top again. For my efforts, good and bad, I earned both a merit and a demerit from the Chief. I was running out of spare demerits, but I still felt like I was doing a good job for the community.
Day 6. Over the course of this day, I caught many more litterbugs, drunks, and also some hitchhikers and bikers. The day went more or less smoothly. I didn't have any A.P.B.'s that day, and I felt like I was starting to recover from my early slump caused by my demerits.
Day 7. For the third time, we had an All Points Bulletin. Juan Fingers was in town, and he was responsible for robbing the city bank. Like Sid Sniper, he had to be fought with gunfire, and my squad car was outfitted with more and better armor, plus new, bolder colors, brighter revolving lights, and a radar.
I went through the usual quota of stopping litterbugs, arresting drunk drivers, reprimanding hitchhikers, and even ticketing a few speeders. At one point, I ran out of gas, and the Chief gave me a withering look. I knew that I was almost out of demerits, and I had to do better right now.
When Juan Fingers showed up in his black car, I turned on the siren and commanded him to pull over. Of course he disobeyed my order, and answered with gunfire, as I had expected. I fired a rifle at his car, and this time I was very careful not to hit innocent cars. In the end, I managed to shoot the driver, and make the vehicle tumble off the road and into a ditch. I got out and swiftly cuffed and arrested Juan Fingers before he could escape.
I impounded the stolen money and gave Juan Fingers a good shaking to get him to talk, aided by a little bit of quiet but menacing warnings. The Chief commented that I really knew how to catch my A.P.B.'s, better than some other average officers he knew.
Day 8. This is my day of disaster. I had a quota of pulling over and ticketing five speeders, arresting two drunks, and aiding four innocent people in need. But early in the day, as I gave chase to a speeder who had no intention of being caught, I crashed the car again. "Oh no," I thought. "I'm really in for it now."
And I was right. A paddy wagon showed up next to my crashed patrol car, and I was pulled out of it by another cop. He took away all my equipment, including the patrol car keys, lifted me up, and shoved me into a garbage can and closed the lid noisily! Fortunately, it wasn't very full, and there was very little yucky stuff in it at the time.
"TOO MANY DEMERITS! YOU ARE FIRED!"
It's all over now. My dream job of becoming a veteran cop is gone, just like that.
However, before leaving for good, the Chief admitted to me that I was pretty good for a rookie at catching the more dangerous crooks in the city. I took that as a compliment meaning that I was still a good cop, even with all my faults. So as I leave, overhearing that the police will need someone else to capture and arrest the next All Points Bulletin, Hans Oop, I decide that it was worth it after all, getting to know what it was like to serve and protect my community.
Yup, playing cops and robbers sure was fun while it lasted!
THE END OF A.P.B.