The Lonely Wolf

A/N This is shameless crack fic. I heart #thebachelorau so much right now that I want to give Leah Clearwater her chance to have love (lots of it). SMeyer may not love you Lee Lee but I do – and I truly believe that sometimes things can be so bad that they're good (like that movie about the hot tub time machine). Are you with me?

All storylines and characters in this story that bear a resemblance to the Twilight Saga belong to Stephenie Meyer. The concept of the show The Bachelor(ette) belongs to whoever invented it. Everything else in this story belongs to me. No copying or reproduction of this work (or any part thereof) is permitted without my express written authorisation.

1. Curtain Call

"Leah Clearwater has been unlucky in love. She never thought she could move past losing her fiancé to her cousin, but after much reflection she took a chance and put herself out there again. Fourteen bachelors and three crazy months later, she has one lucky man by her side - and the knowledge that nothing will ever be the same again. Join us on an unforgettable adventure."

Leah blinked as she watched the promo. Was that even her?

"Woo-hoo," Rosalie shrieked, clinking her champagne flute against Leah's. "You look like a freaking supermodel."

Leah had to admit she looked good – make-up artists were worth their weight in gold. It was hard to believe that she was the girl in the flowing red chiffon dress gazing dreamily at the camera lens. It was slightly disturbing that the voiceover sounded like it had been given by a phone-sex operator, but she'd learned in the last thirteen weeks that what worked on television was often very different from what felt right in real life.

"Are you really not going to tell me who you picked?" Rosalie whined.

Leah grinned. "I've signed my whole fucking life away, Rose. Non-disclosure agreements that pretty much say they can shank me if anyone finds out before the finale. My lips are sealed."

Rosalie pouted. "Please at least tell me that Emmett made it to home visits?"

Leah laughed. Ever since the network started showing snippets of the bachelors who would appear on the show, Rosalie had made no secret of her obvious preference for the burly man with dimples. The producers had been adamant that only her immediate family could meet the final two contestants. Given that Rosalie was the person who entered her in the show (without her knowledge), she'd been more than a little miffed.

"It's so much more fun to watch you freak out," Leah teased her best friend.

"Seriously? Bella knows the final two, but I don't?"

Leah frowned. "She's my sister, Rose... and unlike you, she is also up to her eye-balls in non-disclosure contracts."

Rosalie raised an eyebrow. "Step-sister, you mean."

Leah shrugged. Rosalie had never made her dislike of Isabella Swan a secret, but even though Leah hadn't hit it off with Charlie's daughter immediately, the shy unassuming girl had become her lifeline. Bella was the one that had brought her ice cream and kept her company after the devastating discovery that Sam's distance in the lead up to their wedding day was because he was sleeping with Leah's maid of honour. Whatever reservations Leah harboured about Bella had disappeared when she had diverted apologetic calls from Emily, forced Leah out of bed in the morning and slapped Sam in defence of her honour.

"Give her a chance, Rose. She's not the same girl she was when Charlie married Mom. She was fourteen then!"

"Whatever," Rosalie snarked.

Leah rolled her eyes. "You're not going to be like this the whole time they air the show, are you?"

Her friend sighed. "Nope – but I am going to press for whatever titbits you can give me without risking a lawsuit."

Leah cocked her head. "I can tell you that I kissed more than one of them, does that count?"

Rosalie threw a cushion at her. "You slut – I bet that caused a ruckus at Castle Cock."

"Castle-what?" Leah spluttered, the alcohol in her throat sliding the wrong way.

"Castle Cock," Rosalie answered curtly. "What else are we going to call some man-monastery where a bunch of dudes just sit in contemplation waiting for you to grace them with their presence? Wait... Dick Dwelling? Tubesteak Townhouse? Sausage Sanctuary?"

"Stop," Leah raised her hands, torn between laughter and mortification. "You, win. Castle Cock it is, and to answer your question, I don't really know what went on when I wasn't there." Well except for that one fight, but hopefully none of that would be broadcast.

"Well I guess we'll find out now... anyway, tell me who you kissed and you'll really put a smile on my face."

Leah mimed zipping her lips shut. "No can do, doll-face."

Rosalie opened her mouth to grill her again, but was distracted by the theme song for the bachelorette coming back on the television. "It's starting!" she crowed.

Leah watched as her closest friend edged forward on the sofa, eyes glued to the screen. A buzzing sound distracted her and she glanced across to her phone.

"Hey babe,

Sitting on the couch ready to watch episode one. You look beautiful in the trailer.

xxx"

Leah beamed as she read the text, fingers fumbling as she crafted a response.

"You look pretty good yourself, you know. I'm a bit nervous about all the girls in the country falling in love with you while they watch."

It was the truth. After what had happened with Emily and Sam, she couldn't help but be suspicious of any man she let herself get close to. She wanted to believe that she could never be betrayed that way again, but the loss of her first love had shaken her confidence.

"Other girls? Bah! I don't see them Leah. I only see you. I can't wait 'til this is all over and we can tell the whole world that you're mine."

Even though he was thousands of miles away, her heart fluttered as she read his words. With every day that passed, he convinced her that everything that had happened in her life had been a necessary precondition for meeting him - and that the best was yet to come.

"That's him isn't it?" Rosalie muttered out of the side of her mouth.

"Yup," Leah murmured. Still dazed from her lover's words, she was unprepared when Rosalie lunged, grabbing the cell right out of her hand and dashing across the room, her arm thrust out to stop Leah form reaching her.

"And the mystery man is ..." Rosalie crowed, scrolling upwards with her thumb to reveal his identity. "What the-?" she continued as she saw the name of the person Leah was texting. "T.O.? Who the hell is T.O?"

Leah bit her lip as she prepared for her confession. Rosalie knew she had made a choice, she just didn't know how serious Leah's choice was.

"The One," Leah whispered, barely containing her excitement. "I saved him as 'T.O.' because he's The One."

A small giggle escaped her lips and before she knew it Rosalie was smothering her with a hug. They both jumped up and down with glee as the first episode began.

A/N: Okay, tell me honestly. Would you read this? I think it could be a hoot! Tell me who you think is: a) a contestant; b) the first person Leah kisses; c) in the final four that take Leah home to meet their families: and, d) the winner. I am writing this with no plan (I never do that!) and am open to ideas about dates, scandals and anything really.