Chapter One

Never self-possessed, or prudent, love is all abandonment.

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

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There are times when Neji wakes up and forgets that he is blind in one eye. This morning is one of those times, and when Neji blinks open his silvery eyes, he is at first startled to discover that he cannot see through one of them. He rubs the sleep away from his eyes, yawns, and is now fully awake and understands. These mornings are difficult for him, because it forces him to remember that day, years ago, when half of his vision disappeared and his life changed dramatically.

It is 7:00 in the morning, and Neji steps out of bed and into the shower. School doesn't start until 8:30, but he needs time for his shower, particularly with washing his hair. His long, dark hair falls to the middle of his back, longer than a lot of girls, and he prefers to keep it clean. His mind is still stuck in the past, and as he looks down at his body, he remembers a time when the skin was constantly interrupted by scratches and bruises. He likes his body better now that it is smooth and is only interrupted by the muscles protruding slightly from his pale skin.

He steps out of the shower, dries, and dresses himself for school. He brushes his long hair and ties it with a rubber band, hanging at the nape of his neck. His mind is finally brought back into the present when he enters the kitchen and has to make breakfast both for himself and for his grandmother. He quickly throws down a bowl of cereal for himself, but takes time making oatmeal with honey and cinnamon and raisins for his grandma, her favorite meal. She walks into the kitchen a few minutes later, blinking her wrinkled eyes.

"Hi, Grandma," Neji says to her, smiling.

"Good morning, honey. My, that smells good."

He gets her a napkin and spoon and makes sure that the oatmeal isn't too hot. He helps her with every detail that goes into eating breakfast. He also looks back at her, worried, when he has to leave the house to go to school, trying not to think about all the troubles an 86-year old could get into home alone.

He takes the bus to school. It is filled with adults going to work holding briefcases, and not many high school students like himself. His grandma's neighborhood didn't have many teenagers. The few that he does see, however, are finishing their homework hurriedly, holding textbooks on their knees and notebooks in their laps. Neji's homework is done, safe in his book bag. He never needs to rush it at the last minute. Homework is easy, even at the prestigious high school he attends.

Neji ended up getting to class a few minutes early. That made him regret not spending a few extra minutes with his grandma. Kids started filing into the classroom, and one of Neji's classmates sat next to him.

"Hey, can I copy your English homework? Please, Neji?" he asked helplessly, hands clasped together as though he was begging, large glasses nearly slipping off his freckled nose.

Neji sighed, "Yeah, yeah," and handed the notebook to him.

"Thanks!" he exclaimed and started copying. "I have this due next period, and I've already missed, like, six homeworks."

"Mhm," Neji said.

"So, are you coming to the soccer game today?" the boy asked, eyes still squinting at the homework.

"What soccer game?" Neji asked without much interest.

"The girls' soccer game tonight! Everyone's really excited for it. The girls' soccer team hasn't won anything in a long time."

"So they probably won't win this time, either," Neji replied.

"No, I have faith in them," he said with a big grin. He stopped grinning and started staring at Neji, eyebrows twisted in confusion. "Hey, man… How did you end up not seeing through one eye anyway?"

Neji's usually calm face hardened. "I was smashed in the face with a glass vase." The boy next to him stared, wide-eyed. "Now, are you done with that?" Neji said, and grabbed his notebook off the other boy's desk without waiting for an answer. The boy hesitated, contemplating whether or not to ask for it back, but he decides it is safer not to.

The kid eventually moves to another seat. Neji doesn't mind, because the seats around him are soon filled up with his friends and classmates, and when class starts, he raises his hand often like usual, occasionally amazing people with his answers to the teacher. This particular teacher likes him, but that is not always the case. He had many teachers that didn't like him for being so smart. Adults didn't like arrogant kids, even if they had a reason to be so cocky. The same thing applied to other kids; some of them, particularly the girls, admired him and asked him for help with their own work, but the more competitive students, who were always used to being the best, reacted bitterly to someone even smarter than them.

This caused Neji to think about Hinata. She had recently transferred to his school, and he wondered how long and hard she had to study for these past years to be able to get into such a school by her Junior year. The thought made him feel bitterly triumphant, and he tried to think about something else.

Neji usually had lunch with a large group of people – mostly girls – but a lot of them were missing today, he realized, probably practicing for the soccer game tonight. Neji wondered what the big deal was; he was on several sports teams himself, and they were always victorious, and no one ever cared this much. Perhaps that alluded to how much the girls' soccer team had lost in the past.

Neji was sitting outside on one of the picnic tables that decorated the lawn outside the school. He was with his friends, but was growing bored of all the talk about soccer and homework and grades. That seemed to be all anyone ever spoke about anymore. He excused himself and stood up. He started walking slowly around the lawn, towards the school. Everyone around him was talking and laughing, and he kept his silver eyes forward, a frown interrupting his otherwise delicate face, as usual. Lunch was nearing an end, so he walked into the school, which was still mostly empty, and headed towards his locker.

As he turned the corner, he saw two people at the end of the hall. One had spiky blonde hair, and was wearing bright, clashing colors. He was laughing too loud, and Neji could hear him from all the way down the hall. Loser, he thought to himself.

The girl next to him had short dark hair, cropped in the back and longer in the front, with bangs that framed her face. She was small and short, and her body language made her seem even smaller; Her hands were clasped together in front of her chest, and she took very small steps. She had the same deathly pale skin and silvery eyes as Neji.

Neji's face immediately hardened as he realized who it was. He hadn't seen her in a long time, even though they had been going to the same school for 6 months now. The geek walking next to her had his arm around her, and she was smiling giddily, leaning into his touch. They were laughing like children. Neji felt anger, like nearly every time he ever saw her, and it only got worse as she finally lifted her pale eyes and noticed who was walking her way. She looked down immediately. Neji was staring straight ahead, past her face. They finally crossed each other. Neji was walking down the middle of the hallway, forcing her and her loser boyfriend to separate. As they passed each other, she glanced up at him, but he kept his eyes forward. Then their backs were to each other.

Neji's friends had invited him to hang out after school, but he declined. He was with them on most days, except for when his worry for his grandma was too much to bear, and he needed to go home right away to check on her. The worry he felt for her was the worst; it started small, but crept up on him more and more throughout the day, until he thought he might be sick. If his grandma was ever gone, then he would not have anyone left to live with. What would happen to him then?

Neji sighed a huge breath of relief when he opened the door to the apartment and saw his grandma sitting on the couch, watching TV, as good as ever. When she saw him she smiled a huge, wrinkled smile, and said, "How was school, baby?"

Neji smiled, his face finally losing the frown he carried with him outside of his home. He put his bag down and sat down next to her on the couch, and they watched TV together.

Later that night, after they were finished eating the dinner Neji prepared, his Grandma went to bed. Neji picked out her nightgown, set it on the bed, watched her brush her teeth, then left her alone to dress herself. He came in a few minutes later, kissed her goodnight, and left to do his homework; he had a lot, but it would be easy enough.

It was soon past midnight, and Neji was starting to become sleepy, but he still had homework left to do. He walked into the bathroom, turned on the sink, and splashed cold water on his face. He felt a little more awake. He looked into the mirror above him. Water was dripping down his ivory face and in his dark hair. He looked at his eyes; one was the same bright silver-gray color that ran in his family, but the other was especially pale, it almost blended into his skin. It looked much duller than the other; there were no dimensions in the color like in regular eyes. The white-gray color was completely flat. The difference was so distinct, it scared people sometimes.

It felt extremely odd to be able to look at his blind eye when it was not able to look at anything itself.

At that moment, the phone rang loudly. Neji jumped, startled. He cursed, hoping it would not wake his grandma, and hurried to get it. "Hello?" he said.

"Hello, is this Neji Hyuuga?" a woman's voice asked.

"Yes," he replied.

"Sorry to bother you so late, I am a nurse at Methodist Hospital, and we have someone by the name of Hinata Hyuuga here. She came in a few hours ago; her leg was injured during a soccer game at school, but we have bandaged her and she is ready to go home."

"Okay…" Neji said, confused and irritated. "So send her home."

"We have called her home already, but she claims that both her parents are out of town, and she has no other relatives besides those at the residence she gave this phone number to. We really need someone to pick her up, would you be able to do it?"

Neji was in disbelief. "Are you serious? She wants someone here to get her?"

"She had no choice but to give me this phone number. We will only let her go with a family member. Won't you be able to come get your sister?"

Neji grimaced at the word "sister". Hinata was hardly a sister to him. "Isn't there some other way?" he asked.

There was an annoyed pause on the other line. "Unless there is some mysterious family member living here that no one is aware of, then I'm afraid not. Now, we will be expecting you here in half an hour. Will you come?"

Neji sighed deeply, running a hand through his hair. He could feel himself getting very angry. "Fine. I'll be there," he said bitterly before slamming down the phone.

He couldn't believe what was happening. He hadn't exchanged a word with Hinata in 6 years, and the few times that he passed by her in school or in town, he had ignored her, not even looking at her, like today in the hallway. He hadn't been in the same room as her in over half a decade, and now he was expected to drive her home?

Neji almost felt like not leaving his home at all, and just leaving her at the hospital.

But he grit his teeth and walked out of the apartment. He took the elevator down to the garage and got into his grandma's car. She hadn't been able to use it in years, so it was basically his now. He started up the car and drove towards the hospital. It was well after midnight, and the streets were almost empty now. He got to the big white building quickly.

He walked through the automatic doors into the main lobby. Even all the way downstairs it smelt horribly of antiseptic and rubbing alcohol. Neji cringed, becoming pissed off again as he remembered why he was here, and approached the main desk.

"I'm here to pick up Hinata Hyuuga," he told the lady behind the desk.

After a few phone calls, she answered, "She will be down shortly. You may take a seat until she arrives."

Neji sat down at one of the many chairs in the middle of the lobby. A few seats away from him was a man holding a napkin to his mouth, quietly coughing up blood. A few more seats down was a small child and his mother. The child was crying, holding a broken looking arm. Neji felt sick, and turned away.

Then he saw her. Hinata was sitting in a wheel chair, being rolled by a nurse behind her. Her right leg was bandaged at the ankle, and in her lap was a pair of crutches. Her face was facing down, so Neji couldn't see her face even if he wanted to, which he didn't. At one point, Hinata stopped the nurse, thanked her, and stood up off the wheel chair. She was struggling to support herself on one leg, and she attempted to use the crutches to aid her. She very slowly got the hang of it, and it seemed like an eternity later when she finally reached Neji's chair.

Hinata stood in front of him, and Neji was staring straight ahead, eyes landing on her torso, not wanting to look up into her eyes, which were so much like his. Neither of them knew what to say. For the first time in a long time, Neji was at a loss for how to handle this situation.

"H-hello…" Hinata finally spoke, after literally minutes of silence.

Neji felt a lump in his throat. He hadn't heard that voice in so long. It sounded exactly like before. He was surprised his memories were still so vivid. "Hi…" he replied, barely audible. More silence. He eventually stood up.

"The car is this way…" Neji spoke. His voice choked on the last word, his mind being unable to process that he was actually talking to this girl. He quickly turned from her and started down the lobby, and through the automatic doors. Assuming Hinata was still behind him, he reached the car outside the hospital. When he turned around again, she was still there.

Neji awkwardly opened the passenger door for her, and thought about whether he should help her into it or not, but decided it was better if he simply left her to that. Hinata struggled, but managed to land in the seat safely. She shut the door as Neji climbed into the drivers seat and started the car.

They had started to drive when Neji saw Hinata struggling with the seatbelt out of the corner of his eye. He was starting to feel increasingly nervous, but tried to appear calm, like he always did. He turned toward her. "Do you need help?" he asked.

She paused, surprised at his words, and nodded. "Um, yes… I don't know how to put on this seatbelt…"

At a red-light, Neji leaned over to help her with the seatbelt. He realized how close the two of them were at this moment. He looked up warily into her face. He almost gasped with shock, because he hadn't truly looked at her since they were kids. If he ever managed to pass by her in the streets or at school, he always looked away from her. Whenever he thought about her, he pictured her as he remembered her, a 10 year old.

However, when he looked at her now, he realized how much she had matured; her once chubby, youthful cheeks had turned sharp with angles, making her look like her 16 years of age. Her once perfect, translucent skin now had a scar on her chin. Maybe from soccer? Her once innocent silver eyes were now burdened with the realities of life, just like his own.

Neji stared, knowing that she was looking at his own face and making the same observations. They were both in shock for a few moments, and then Neji finished adjusting her seatbelt and leaned back into his own seat. He resumed driving.

"Um… so, what happened to you?" Neji asked. He was instantly shocked with himself; why was he talking to her?

Hinata seemed shocked as well. She pushing her two index fingers together, a sign of nervousness. "I… I was playing in the soccer game at our school… I tripped and fell. I sprained my ankle."

Neji didn't say anything. He was still surprised, and a little angry, at himself, for even trying to talk to her in the first place.

Hinata hesitated, but started talking again. "Um… I'm very sorry for disturbing you tonight… our mom… I mean, there was no one else to come get me. So, I'm sorry."

Neji had been planning to ignore her for the entire car ride. Instead, he nodded at her words. "It's okay…" he said weakly.

What was he saying? It was not okay.

Neji couldn't help but notice how much Hinata had stuttered while she spoke. Her voice was also very high-pitched. It had sounded that way when they were children, also, but back then it sounded cute. Now it sounded like she was constantly scared. She was also looking down at her lap, and playing with her fingers. She seemed like she just wanted to crawl into a ball and disappear. Neji was fascinated.

"H-How is grandma…?" Hinata asked shyly.

She's not your grandma, she's mine, Neji wanted to say. It was true, too. His grandma was his father's mother. She had no relation whatsoever to Hinata. "She's fine," he answered, voice stoic. He remembered the few times that his grandma had visited his old home, with Hinata, when they were children. He knew Hinata had no other grandparents, not really, since they lived so far away. He realized that his grandma was the closest thing Hinata had ever had to a grandparent. Maybe she missed her. "She's old… but fine," he added, "For the most part, anyway. I worry about her." His voice was still stoic, but at least he was saying something.

"Oh…" Hinata whispered. "Yes, she's very old now… 86, right?" she asked softly.

Neji was surprised that she knew that. "Yes," he replied. "That would be correct."

"Um… h-her birthday was recent, r-right? What did you guys do together?" she said.

Neji's mind was racing right now. He didn't know what to think. He wasn't able to process the fact that he and his long-lost sister were sitting together in the same car, chatting about his grandma. Was she making small talk? Did she truly care about his grandma? Or was she trying to talk to him? Neji found himself unable to think properly.

"We… we went out to a restaurant together," he answered. "And I bought her a jewelry box."

They were still looking away from each other, but Neji could imagine that he saw a ghost of a smile from Hinata from the very corner of his vision. "That's very nice…" she whispered her reply.

Silence. Then Neji sighed. "So… uh, you go to Belvedere now," he said, talking about the high school they went to.

"Yes… it was very hard to get into," she admitted.

Something inside of Neji became painful. He could feel the anger bubbling inside his chest.

They reached Hinata's house. Neji stopped the car, and they both climbed out of it, Hinata very slowly and cautiously. She walked around on her crutches to the other side of the car, where Neji was waiting on the sidewalk.

Hinata noticed that Neji was no longer speaking, and she could feel the worry increasing. She tried desperately to continue the conversation. "Yes… yes, I've been applying to there every year since high school started," she said. "They finally took me in last summer. I was so happy."

From what Hinata remembered of Neji, and what she had heard from around school, he was a very cocky and prideful person. She was hoping that her words would work, because she was implying that although Neji had gotten into the school right away, it took her years to be accepted.

"T-The schoolwork there is t-tough…" she continued, feeling more nervous every second. Why was he not answering her? "B-But I'm trying to keep up with it. I don't know how you do it… or how you managed to be accepted on your first try," she said.

Neji turned around, his eyes wild with rage.

"Because a person like me is supposed to be going to a school like that!" he roared. Hinata jumped, frightened. "I don't get why they would accept someone like you, who clearly does not belong there! How much of an idiot can you be if you apply 3 times and are denied every time? Just because you're there now doesn't make you any smarter! You're still the same weak, stupid, spoiled little girl I remember! Why don't you do yourself and I a favor and transfer back, so I don't have to see your fucking face ever again!"

With those last words, Neji turned, flung the car door opened, and drove away. Hinata was still standing on the sidewalk, shaking with fear, and fighting the tears in her eyes. Neji sped back to his grandma's house and ran into the living room, where his homework was still waiting. He looked at the clock; almost 2 in the morning. He picked up his pencil and attempted to finish his Physics problems, but before he knew it a tear had fallen from his blind eye and onto the paper. He was so shocked, because he hadn't cried in so long, that a second tear fell, and a third, and a fourth, until he was crying so hard that he had to press a pillow to his mouth not to wake up his grandma.

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