Tadaima (I'm Home...)
This is such a strange one-shot...
In fact, I don't even know why I even wanted to write this...oh, wait, I do. Ack...never re-watch Saiyuki episodes and not expect to be inspired! That's what I learned today.
It was around episode seven, towards the end, right after Shuei is finally put to rest...Sanzo has a flashback involving his master, who is talking about how birds aren't really, 'free,' because they eventually get tired from flapping their wings so much. He mentions that they might even, 'wish they didn't have wings at all.'
Then, he says something along the lines of, "I think that true freedom is having a home to return to..." and needless to say, right after that, my mind conjured some interesting images, therefore inspiring this fic.
I actually haven't written in the Saiyuki fandom before. And I've only seen up to episode ten of the anime, (and just recently, up to the second manga English tankouban), so if the characters aren't totally accurate, I ask that you forgive me. This was written out of pure inspiration, but I still hope that you will enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it.
Ah, and because some kind reviewer pointed out the fact that I was using a bit much Japanese, (thank you!), here is the edited version. I can see why they said that after reading it over, I found that it made the story choppier and sloppier to read. From now on, I'll be careful to not let that happen again!
Disclaimer: Gensomaden Saiyuki is the property of Minekura Kazuya-san, art, characters, and all. The Hana Inn belongs to me, though—that was a name I created and a place I created all on my own.
Summary: When a rainy day forces the Sanzo-ikkou to take cover in a local inn on random day of their journey, some events lead to others, which cause the group to consider some things. There's some seriousness, some humor, and some shonen-ai; a little bit of everything for everyone! One-shot.
Thank you for taking the time to read this!
The rain was pouring down in thick sheets that evening, making the customers of the hotel unable to clearly make out anything outside the window. Although, the truth of the matter was that most who were near a window weren't even thinking of peering out one, anyway. After all, it was around dinnertime, and that was the period of the day when the Hana Inn received the most customers in their restaurant section of the building. Their specialty was serving their patrons in the most efficient, quickest way possible—especially when it involved hungry ones wanting a warm meal and comfortable surroundings.
A few people stared when, completely out of the blue, four young men came running into the inn gasping and sputtering. While a flaxen-haired monk was cursing in a manner quite unfit for the gods, the other three were too busy commenting on their new environment to even take notice.
"Wow, check it out, you guys!! The food here looks REALLY good!" The smallest boy chirped in a jovial manner, staring unwaveringly at a random person's nikuman platter.
"Hey, check out that waitress over there..." The tall redhead murmured the last part to his companions, though the youngest one wasn't listening, and the monk was still cursing. The only one who heard him appeared quite mortified after hearing such, shaking his head at the boy and the older male.
"Maa, maa, the both of you...we should be more concerned over finding lodging for the night, rather than food or women, correct? Goku, Gojyo?"
"Awww, c'mon, Hakkai!" Son Goku, the smaller one, shot back tirelessly. "I'm hungry from us driving around in the jeep so long, and this place is pretty neat!"
"I gotta agree with the little monkey on that one." Sha Gojyo said good- naturedly, purposely saying so to get the young brunette riled up.
"WHAT?! WHAT'D YOU JUST CALL ME, YOU PERVERTED WATER SPRITE!?" Apparently, it worked, because Goku now had a murderous look on his face.
"I said that you're a little monkey. What, you goin' deaf already? Didn't think it'd be possible for someone that little..."
"Why you...!" Goku ground out furiously, stomping his foot so suddenly against the ground that more spectators gathered around the scene.
Oh, dear...this wasn't what I was planning on happening...Gojyo, out of all the times to do this; you've picked one of the worst moments of all... Cho Hakkai, ever the peacemaker, attempted to sedate his two companions' temper. "Now, now...the both of you, calm down..."
"Not until HE apologizes!" Goku pouted innocently while pointing at Gojyo, appearing quite childlike.
"I don't need to apologize to any dumb monkey."
"WHAT WAS THAT?!"
Goku made a flying lunge for the insult-spewing Gojyo, but luckily, Hakkai was able to hold him back before any permanent damage was done. Goku was angrily growling, and Hakkai realized that now would be a good a time as any to keep the peace.
"Anoo...Gojyo, just apologize to Goku, please. He really does look quite vicious now, if I may say so..." Attempting to sate any further grudges, Hakkai tried to smile as politely as possible. It was off-putting to some, who may have had no idea what the facial expression meant, but Gojyo knew that his friend was attempting to hold back his impatience for him. This fact, of course, naturally made him reconsider things...
...But Gojyo wanted to see the boy even more riled up, so he continued. "Why should I?!" The half-breed shot back irately.
Hakkai continued to smile, but from behind him was a murderous violet gaze that immediately changed Gojyo's mind—a glare that clearly said, "Apologize now or I'll kill you--and you know I mean it."
Ch! Damn overprotective monk. "Fine, then. Sorry, chibi-saru."
Finally released, Goku crossed his arms over a lean chest, pouting once more. "Hmph! Well, next time, don't call me that!"
"What, chibi-saru?"
"Grrrrr...!"
With a well-aimed THWAP of a harisen, Genjou Sanzo, the blonde priest, managed to silence both Gojyo and Goku at the same moment.
"Didn't I tell you both to shut up?!"
Hakkai chuckled and patted the teary-eyed Goku on the shoulder comfortingly. "You two were scaring everyone here, you know. I think that if we still want any food, it would be a wise choice to apologize to the innkeeper, wouldn't you agree?" He motioned to a frightened-looking woman standing at the front of their, 'audience,' who appeared rather meek for someone in such an authorized position.
"...Sorry." The pair sighed out, so dejectedly that Sanzo whacked them with his paper fan again.
However, unexpectedly, the young female began to giggle. "Ha-ha...! You all are such a lively group of people! F-Forgive me for laughing...I found your argument rather amusing, actually. Please, don't feel obliged to say sorry if you don't feel the need to do so. I was able to have a good laugh, and that alone is apology enough for me."
Goku stared, amazed that the girl had a speech pattern quite similar to Hakkai's—very polite and well-versed. "...Okay, then, Miss. Still, we wanna stay here for dinner. Is that alright?"
She straightened up, grinning as she patted Goku on the head. "Of course it is! Please, find yourself a seat and someone will come to serve you."
"YES! FINALLY, we can have some food!" While Goku was rejoicing in the fact that he wouldn't be hungry anymore, the others sweat dropped, wondering how one person's frame of mind could change so quickly, and followed the boy to their table.
Dinner went by in a rather uneventful manner, (or as uneventful as it could be for the Sanzo-ikkou), and the young innkeeper was so pleased with her new visitors that she allowed them any free rooms that they wanted for a discounted price. The four (reluctantly, save for the agreeable Hakkai) all agreed on sharing one room, and the majority of the evening went by peacefully, with the group all using the time to chat about anything on their minds.
"That lady was really nice to give us these nice rooms! I mean, they even have beds in here! Nyaa!" Goku made an elated sound when the bed squeaked under his weight, and he leapt onto it again.
Hakkai gently smiled as he watched Goku's antics, sipping a small cup of tea. "Well, these were rather expensive rooms in the first place, but we're quite fortunate to have gotten such a wonderful price...I had thought at first our actions would have gotten us ushered out of the inn for certain!"
"Well, that girl seemed pretty strange, anyway...I mean, she was a little too calm for someone who nearly witnessed an all out brawl." Gojyo commented, lying back further onto his bed.
"The food was really good in the restaurant, too--I wonder if she was the one who made it? Ah, ne, ne, Sanzo? Can we stay here for a couple of days, mebbe? I know we're kinda on this big journey to save the world, but I like this place!"
"You mean you like the food in this place, you little brat." Goku blew a raspberry at Gojyo in response.
Sanzo seemed to be thinking long and hard about Goku's suggestion, and even Hakkai had to wonder what was going on in the blonde's head for a moment. Everyone in the group, (except for Goku and Sanzo themselves), were aware that the monk had a soft spot for the young boy, so it was realistic enough for one to assume he would say, 'yes.' However, Sanzo was a prideful adult who wasn't about to let his own weaknesses show, and because of this, it was difficult to predict what Sanzo would actually do.
"Well..."
Hakkai, deciding that this was a golden opportunity to assist them in their relationship, quickly added, "If I may say so, the lodging in this inn is rather comfortable...and it's been a long while since we've stayed in one place for a while, instead of for just one night, like usual."
"Yeah, and the women here aren't too bad-looking...I wouldn't mind stayin' here for another day or two." Gojyo clearly caught onto Hakkai's idea, and winked at the brunette to show that he did.
Sanzo still showed uncertainty in his normally cold amethyst eyes—but upon catching the imploring gold shine in Goku's own seemed to finalize the decision. Clearly, Sanzo was annoyed at himself for changing his attitude, but he sighed and replied all the same.
"Alright. We'll stay for another day after this one, no more. You guys had better appreciate this. I'm not made out of money, you know." Sanzo curtly scoffed, reaching for a cigarette at his side of the table they all sat near.
"Thank you very much, Sanzo." Hakkai said with a warm grin.
"You aren't so bad when you're not being such a stiff, you damn monk." Gojyo laughed, whapping his comrade lightly on the shoulder in friendly banter.
"Waii! Seriously?! Sankyuu! You're the GREATEST, Sanzo!" Goku jumped up from his bed, and tackle-hugged his keeper, cheering away. Because of this, he hadn't even realized the embarrassment that was clearly showing on Sanzo's visage, appearing in the form of a blush.
"Oh?" Gojyo's impish smirk clearly said that his next words would be vulgar, and Hakkai internally braced himself for the storm to come. "Looks like our big-time monk's either havin' a fever, or if my instincts are saying what I think they are, it looks like our Sanzo's got himself a crush..."
The handgun flew out of Sanzo's robes faster than the lightning crashing outside, and poor Gojyo had to hastily duck behind a chair to avoid being impaled by three oncoming bullets.
"URUSEI!!"
"Ne, Hakkai, what's a, 'crush?'" Goku asked, so innocently that even the normally calm Hakkai had to laugh out loud, patting the young boy on the head once again. This time, Goku protested by making an irritated noise, though he didn't tried to pull Hakkai's hand away, either.
"Ha-ha...perhaps you'll understand one day, Goku. For now, though, I think you're a bit too young to know of such a thing."
The next day, it was raining even harder than the day before—so much that some of the other people staying the inn who had planned on leaving that day were now paying for another night's rooms. The kind young innkeeper, (who, as Goku found out when he asked, was aptly named Kisigari Hana), had brought the group breakfast on trays; though not after mentioning with a sweet smile that it would be added to their bill as room service later on.
"Shit, I change my mind about that broad..." Gojyo sulked. "She's as evil as the Merciful Goddess!"
"Maa, maa, Gojyo...Hana-san has to run a business, so I can understand her reasoning. Although, I agree with the fact that she should have warned us of the dangers of having room service before doing all of this..." Hakkai stared down at his filled plate uncertainly, but began to eat the food in front of him, anyway.
"Fome fon, foo fys! Ft's food! Fhat's fhothing tyo fompwain f'fout!" ("Come on, you guys! It's food! That's nothing to complain about!") Goku retorted with a mouth filled with warm rice grains, so the words were unclear at first. However, Sanzo seemed to catch the gist of his broken sentences and expressed a sudden, unusual smirk.
"That's only because your brain is food-obsessed, bakasaru."
"SANZOOOOOO!! THAT'S SOOOO MEAAAAAAN!"
While Gojyo and Hakkai were trying very hard not to laugh at poor Goku's expense, (with Gojyo failing miserably and Hakkai fairing a bit better than his friend, erupting in silent giggles), Sanzo made a dissatisfied, 'hmph,' and continued to chew on some of his steamed vegetables.
Later on, Goku left the threesome to explore the inn, saying he wanted to, 'look around the place a bit.' Gojyo said his good-bye by warning Goku to, 'not raid the kitchen or that creepy inkeeper'll add it to the bill,' while Hakkai politely saw Goku off, and Sanzo was—well, just being Sanzo.
When Hakkai shut the door on the departing male, Gojyo immediately started speaking with Sanzo again, continuing his teasing from the night before.
"So, you've got a soft spot for the little monkey, Sanzo?"
"So, how far would you like this gun shoved up your ass, Gojyo?" Sanzo matched the redhead's mocking tone flawlessly, growling the last bit of his words out.
"You don't have to push your sexual frustration out on me, you vulgar monk." Gojyo scrunched up his nose in obvious distaste. "I'm just askin' you a simple question. Do you like the kid, or not?"
"Why?" The blonde asked in a bored tone, as he leaned back in a wooden chair.
"I'll laugh when you fall off that thing." Gojyo smirked over Sanzo's position, and quietly amused by his bad friend's attitude. "And anyway...Goku's like a little brother to me. I'm startin' to see signs that he likes you, too, so if you aren't thinking of makin' a move...I'm sayin' you probably should."
Staring at the red-haired half-breed, Sanzo searched for even the slightest trace of mirth in a pair of piercing ruby orbs. There was none at all, which clearly meant that, for the first time in their journey, Gojyo was being serious about something other than battles and women.
"...You're really going all out about this, aren't you?"
"It's not really a matter of going, 'all out about this.'" Hakkai answered truthfully, leaning over the table to look Sanzo's way. "We're concerned for him, Sanzo. Goku may be young, but that's precisely the reason why we're asking you to sort out your feelings. Something like this could hurt him in the long run."
Violet fluttered from both sharp crimson and melancholic green, then back to the place setting that lay before him on the table. What should he do? For one thing, Sanzo was far too prideful to admit his feelings for someone, and for another, who would truly be willing to openly admit their weakness lie within an eighteen-year-old heretic brunette?
But, then again...what choice did he have, with Gojyo and Hakkai staring at him so intently? And besides, he decided mentally with a sudden afterthought, something like this would wind up being beneficial to me, anyway...
Heaving a decisive sigh, Sanzo finally nodded. After all, he had to keep the cold, heartless bastard image alive.
"You two...have a pretty good point."
Hakkai was smiling, and this time honestly happy; Gojyo, although he probably wouldn't admitted it, was quite relieved. Even from Sanzo, they both knew that his words were an affirmative, 'yes.'
"Sanzo...thank you." Hakkai spoke, thanking Sanzo on his own behalf and Gojyo's.
"It's nothing." Sanzo took a long drag of his cigarette with his response. "S'only gonna help me out in the long run, anyway, right?"
Hakkai grinned anyway, despite his chagrin, chuckling softly to himself. "My, my...you certainly are the tactful one today..."
An hour passed by, and a bored Gojyo eventually forced Hakkai to play a few card games with him to pass the time. The brown-haired demon politely obliged, smiling kindly as he excused himself from the silent presence of Sanzo. He understood how the blonde did not enjoy the rain, and he had entertained the man with some light conversation in the meanwhile.
After all, Hakkai himself needed a distraction from the current weather patterns, as well—he too shared unwelcome memories when it came to the precipitation.
"Hey...the monk's been actin' pretty quiet since we talked to 'im...holed himself up in his bed ever since. Wonder if he's considered talkin' with the saru yet?" Gojyo pulled another card from the large stack in the middle of the table, wincing when he did not get the card he wanted; the pair were now engrossed in a game of, "Go Fish."
"Before you know it, Sanzo will surely approach Goku about his feelings." Hakkai whispered in reply with a touch of sadness in his eyes, as his fingers lightly traced the ends of his card hand. Nevertheless, he smiled the smile anyway, pulling out four cards with similar, "Queen," labels on them. "I'm sure both of them will be happy together, don't you think so?"
"Oi, Hakkai...!"
In an instant, Gojyo laid his hand against the smaller one of his friend. Though seemingly complacent, the heated flush from such close contact emerged on Hakkai's face.
"Stop putting yourself down like that! Look, just because everyone you know looks like their finding their own happiness...doesn't mean you have to think that you don't deserve it. And besides...that's being pretty selfish, puttin' all the blame and guilt on yourself like that. You'd be better off talkin' to one of us if you wanna feel better."
Even Sanzo, who had his head buried in a book the whole time before this, turned to survey the scene unfolding before him with languid interest. When Hakkai locked eyes with Sanzo, the blonde grunted crossly, tossing his gaze to the wall beside him.
"...That dumbass is actually right for once...you should talk with us when you've got something on your chest instead of being such a martyr and holding it all inside."
Gojyo was silently, (and clearly), fuming over the priest's words, and he swore under a heated breath in response. And Hakkai...Hakkai was completely stunned.
"Gojyo...Sanzo...you two really are..."
"Save it," Shot back a tireless Sanzo, as he suddenly pulled out his gun and aimed it at the other two. "Now...I heard the whole lovey-dovey mush you two were spouting before, but what were you whispering about before that? Well? I'll give you ten seconds."
"Y-You aren't really planning on SHOOTING that thing in here, are you?" Gojyo gaped at the blonde, obviously trying to stall for time.
"I've done it before, and I'll do it again."
Flinching when he realized that something would surely go wrong if Sanzo actually did shoot, Hakkai attempted to quell the man's trigger-finger. "Anoo...if we cause any further trouble, Hana-san will..."
"Screw that bitch, Hakkai; right now, the only crazy one we should be worried about is the monk here."
"Ten seconds are up."
Shortly following Sanzo's bored voice was a quick sound of a bullet ricocheting off the wooden floors, so startlingly that even Gojyo cried out in shock only seconds thereafter.
It was threateningly cold outside where Goku sat, atop the branch of a tall oak tree close by the Hana Inn. He knew that the pelting raindrops around him that somehow leaked through the canopy of leaves above would most likely cause him to catch a cold, but right now he needed to be alone with his thoughts.
That dream...where I was alone again in that cold, dark place of captivity...back then, I didn't know that any of this even existed. There was no need for food, water, amusement...just a cold emptiness as painful as the harsh blow of cold gales. I couldn't see the sun, either; it was always darkness and that lonely, stinging cold.
And then...after that part of the dream...
Goku swallowed a hard lump that suddenly appeared in his throat, constricting in his small chest.
Sanzo...
DREAM FLASHBACK (GOKU POV)
Why is it so dark...?
Hey, where is everyone? Hakkai?! Gojyo?! Sanzo!? Where are you?!
...Why won't they come back? It's so dark and cold here...
Nothingness. Just like before...
Ah—fireflies! How beautiful...they shine in such a magical way...
But...why do I see blood on my hands...? Is it mine? Or...
!
There's someone on the ground...are they okay?! I should go check it out...c'mon, fireflies, follow me for a sec!
My footsteps echo everywhere...I wonder what this place really is, past all the darkness...a big castle, maybe?
...I can see part of the body. Let's see here...
ITAI! This person sure has long robes; I tripped on one of the sleeves!
Oww...
A-Ah...just who did I trip over, anyway?
...Wait...
Sanzo...?
END DREAM FLASHBACK
Thunder rumbled dangerously low in the sky, snapping the boy out of his thoughts. Not that he had really wanted to continue them; Goku shut his eyes tightly, trying to will away the forming tears.
No...it was all just a really bad dream...Sanzo would never die that easily...right?
I can't believe it...it's only been a few hours and I already miss you...I really am a bakasaru, just like you said... He let the tears fall freely now, letting them mingle with the rainwater that streamed down his cheeks; though he did make an attempt to wipe them away.
How long has it been since we first met, Sanzo? Two years? Three? Or maybe even more than that? I don't even remember anymore, because time has all blurred together since then...all I know is that I never want to go back to where I was before! I want to stay with you always...
"...I want to stay with him forever..."
"Then if you want to so badly, then go ahead and do it...bakasaru."
The familiar baritone voice surprised Goku, and he stared at his visitor for a moment before making a tiny sound of happiness.
"S-Sanzo..."
Tossing an umbrella up to the boy in response, Sanzo, 'humph-ed,' at Goku's clumsy action of catching it. "....You know, you're really being a lot like Hakkai was before. Stop holding in everything inside and let it all out already."
Goku leapt down from the tree branch, gazed confusedly at his keeper with wide golden eyes. "Nyaa?"
Sanzo grabbed the unopened umbrella and whapped the boy on the head with it. "Baka. I'm telling you to stop being a martyr all the time and open up to us more!"
"Ouch! O-Oh, really? You mean...you don't mind if I talk to you, Sanzo?" Goku yelped in pain as his hands brushed over the swelling bump caught within a thicket of brown locks.
A vein was on the verge of popping up on Sanzo's head, though he didn't show it, for Goku's sake. "Yes, that's exactly what I'm telling you, Goku. Stop being such an idiot."
He... "...You called me by my name."
"Hnn?"
"I mean..." Goku turned away from his master before blushing. "...You almost never call me by my name, most of the time...it's usually, 'bakasaru,' this, or, 'bakasaru,' that..."
Sanzo had to hold back the smile that would have surely sprouted on his visage from the adorable expression on Goku's face. "...Would you like me to call you by your actual name from now on? Is that what you're trying to say?"
"A-Ah...that's not what I meant..." Goku's hesitant reply only added to Sanzo's amusement.
"...Oi. Remember what I said about hiding what you feel—if you've got something to say, then go ahead and say it." Sanzo opened up the umbrella for the both of them, holding it up for Goku first.
"Thanks." Goku took the object from Sanzo, anyway. "Well...it would make me a little...happier."
And then, Sanzo actually smiled this time, unexpectedly patting the boy on the head—in almost the same manner as Hakkai only hours ago, but in a more loving way.
"If that's what you want, Goku, you should have just said so earlier."
At first staring owlishly at Sanzo, Goku eventually realized that his keeper was being serious, and grinned sweetly at the older male. "Sankyuu, Sanzo! You're the greatest!"
"Ah...look, Kouryuu; the birds are returning home to the North."
"Kouryuu...who do you suppose decided that birds are free?"
"Even if they can fly through the sky as they please, if there's no journey's end or branch to rest their wings on, they might even regret that they have wings."
"True freedom...perhaps true freedom is to have somewhere to go home to..."
You were right, master...
Sanzo took Goku's hand, surprising the both of them with his actions. Nevertheless, Sanzo smiled gently and pulled the boy along back to the Hana Inn, anyway.
True freedom is having a place to come back to. I was never free from anything before...then again, I never really had a, 'home,' to return to...
If home is where the heart is, then Goku is my home...
I'm home...
"Tadaima."
END
Well, that's the whole story...pretty long, actually—11 pages on Microsoft Word! That's one of my longest one-shots yet! And my first Saiyuki one-shot, too...like I said above, my knowledge of the characters is fairly slim, so please tell me whether I have done a satisfactory job of portraying them or not!
I know Sanzo is a bit OOC towards the end, but I think that, if anything, Goku is the one person who can make him gentler and kinder. They can heal each other and support one another...it really is so sweet... [Is a hopeless romantic and is shot for being one... XX]
And could you tell that I like the Gojyo x Hakkai pairing, too? Again, another cute coupling that would turn out well because of the healing process factor, which I love exploring. I might write a sequel involving those two...what do you guys think I should do?
Thank you very much for reading. This was a very fun fic to write, and I hope to stay in the Saiyuki fandom for as long as I can.
Keruri
Date Completed: 7/17/04
Time Completed: 1:53 PM