The rain beat against the ground like a frantic drummer, ceaseless in its assault against the cold, packed earth. Makoto lived isolated in a small house- a cabin to be precise, surrounded for unbroken miles by forest. Storms were not an uncommon occurrence for the time of year, and there was something captivating about summer storms anyways. So the sheets of rain didn't send Makoto home right away. He'd lived in his self-inflicted solitude for about a month, in a bid to escape the stresses of life in the city. He only planned to stay maybe another month at the most. There was a fine line between peace and loneliness. It was a tightrope that Makoto had been walking for some time. And besides, he couldn't just keep ignoring real life.
The river roared, hitting its icy fists against the shore like a child throwing a tantrum. Makoto sat just far enough back to be untouched by the angry force of nature, watching unabated and with serene content. He ran his long fingers through damp brown locks with a slight smile pulling at the edges of his lips. He couldn't stay out much longer, the storm wasn't going to let up anytime soon, and it wouldn't be long before the sun set. When night came, it came fast, blanketing the forest like some grand creature unfurling its wings. Makoto never ceased to be in awe of the sheer rawness of this hidden world. Everything seemed to happen harshly, even the wind sounded... freer.
Makoto stood, stretching out each of his muscles in turn as he straightened his body. On a whim, he scanned the shore of the river, and maybe out of sheer luck, maybe not, he caught sight of something writhing in the mud. He tilted his head and blinked his large green eyes in confusion, wondering what the movement was. It took another moment before he realized what he was seeing: struggling, just out of reach out of the water was a hefty silver catfish. Its skin gleamed with water, mouth opening and closing in its distress. It was a strange sight, and Makoto couldn't help but think that the fish must have been beautiful in the water. On the bank, it looked pitiful and dull, slick with mud and debris. Black, beady eyes darted with wild intensity, and Makoto could have sworn the fish made direct eye contact with him. The poor thing must have been close to the surface and been thrown out of the river by the rough waters. Catfish were typically bottom-feeders, it was a piece of bad luck.
Makoto made up his mind with a sigh, shoes sinking in the muddy banks of the river as he approached the strange fish. He crouched down next to the creature, and it seemed to calm, if only for a moment, mouth still closing in desperation on empty air. Tentatively, Makoto reached out a hand to touch the skin of the silver fish, and shivered at the cold, stony surface. He shook off the chill and wrapped his hands around the fish, heaving it up, and tossed it with all his might back into the river. With a resounding splash, the fish disappeared into the muddy, angry waters. It didn't surface or appear again, despite Makoto scrutinizing the river waters with a careful eye. He decided to take this as a good sign and let a wide grin grace his features. Even if it was only a fish, Makoto felt happy to have been of some help, or at least have tried. But right now he just needed to get home and change into some dry clothes. He shivered, shaking some of the water out of his hair.
Home wasn't far, so it wasn't too much of a hassle to return, maybe a ten minute walk. When he got there, the sky was already darkening and Makoto gave himself a mental pat on the back for arriving before nightfall. He opened the door to his cozy abode and took off his shoes and outerwear, humming in delight as he peeled each layer off. After changing into some more comfortable clothes and eating a small dinner, he finally sat down on the couch in his living room. It took only a moment for his eyelids to become blessedly heavy.
The next morning he was awoken by a sound outside his house. That in itself wasn't all that odd, animals wandered by sometimes, even knocked things over. But animals most certainly didn't knock at the door in such a polite way.
Animals didn't knock at all. Humans knocked, and that meant—
Makoto was on his feet in seconds, jaw clenched in anxiety at the sudden intrusion of his solitude. He took a breath and stepped towards the door, muscles tense, still half-asleep and looking the part. He approached the door cautiously, because as far as Makoto knew, he was very much alone in his part of the woods. He opened the door just a crack, green eyes peering apprehensively out. Two blue eyes met his gaze steadily. Makoto hadn't been sure what he was expecting, but somehow not this. The visitor was, in the least amount of words, beautiful. He had black hair that obstructed his gaze only slightly, and a lean figure that exuded grace. His skin was pale and his lips were set in a small frown. The visitor looked to be about Makoto's age, and not at all like someone malicious. Behind the stranger, rain still lightly drizzled, but the sun shone stubbornly. It gave the stranger a sort of glow, especially when his lips turned up in a hesitant smile,
"Hello." The black-haired visitor greeted Makoto in a low, soft voice, not offering any words of explanation for his arrival.
"Hi," Makoto countered "I didn't think anyone else lived near here, are you a neighbor?"
"You could say that" The stranger replied with a non-committal shrug.
"I'm Makoto Tachibana, it's nice to meet you…?" Makoto trailed off hopefully, tilting his head with a kind smile.
"Haruka Nanase"
"Nice to meet you, Haruka." Makoto amended with a smile "Like I said before, I wasn't aware that anyone else lived near here, I'm surprised we haven't run into each other, if you live close enough to walk here. On that note, what brings you here?" Makoto asked politely.
"I'm lost." Haruka explained bluntly, shrugging again, running his fingers through his hair casually, and studying Makoto with wide blue eyes.
"Lost…? Oh, I should have realized sooner—I'm sorry, please come in, do you want to use my land line? I hope you weren't lost last night too, that storm was killer" Makoto sympathized, ushering Haruka inside.
"No thank you. I don't mean to intrude. I will leave soon." Haruka murmured in his low voice glancing around Makoto's small home.
Outside, storm clouds had begun to roll in, like silent wolves stalking their prey.
"Please, make yourself at home, I was about to make breakfast, is there something that I can make you?" Makoto offered, closing the door behind Haruka and following him into the house.
"Mackerel"
"Mackerel?"
"Mm" Haruka grunted his assent, accompanied with a shrug.
"Ah—I guess I can do that, of course I can." The brown-haired man agreed with a slight bob of his head. He felt very fortunate that he was very stocked up on food. He had been using the mackerel as bait for fishing in the river, but it made a fine meal too.
Haruka nodded in silent content, sitting down on the couch where Makoto had been sleeping mere moments ago, closing his eyes in relaxation. While Makoto hurried about the kitchen, which was in the same room as the living room, he glanced at the strange visitor several times. Makoto had been told before that he was too nice, and now he had gone and done it again; invited a total stranger into his house. For all he knew, Haruka was some sort of axe murderer.
The next time he looked over, Haruka stoically met his gaze "You look nervous. I'm not a serial killer, if that's what you're worried about."
Makoto gaped for a moment at his guest, and then burst into laughter, eyes shining "No, no of course not! I've always been too trusting for my own good. I guess we'll see if I need to rethink that"
Haruka didn't return his laughter, but his lips twitched as though he wanted to smile and Makoto felt a little victorious at that. The smell of food soon filled the house and it further lifted Makoto's spirits.
"Come eat, Haruka" Makoto invited the other man with a wave of the hand "The food is ready, I'm sorry if it isn't much good, I'm not used to cooking with mackerel"
Haruka stood slowly, then walked into the kitchen, sitting down at the small table "Thank you for the food" He murmured before taking a delicate bite "It's good, Makoto"
Makoto beamed at him; he hadn't realized it before, but Haruka had up until that point not used his name at all "I'm glad"
They ate in relative silence until their plates were empty. The quiet was broken by a low rumble shivering through the air. Thunder. It was quickly followed by heavy rain pattering against the window panes. Haruka looked annoyed at the change in weather. Makoto could understand why, he had to find his way home eventually, and it would be harder in a storm.
"Oh, would you look at that" Makoto tsked "Another storm. I'd be a bad host to send you out in this weather, Haruka. I hope this doesn't inconvenience you too much, but it would probably be best if you stayed here until it lets up." Instead of voicing a reply, Haruka nodded and made an affirmative humming noise. Makoto took it as a yes and lit up "I'm glad. How about we watch a movie or something?" He offered.
Another nod, and Makoto could have sworn he saw a small smile on the other man's face at the offer, but it was hard to tell. They cleaned up the table and returned to the living room, where Makoto crouched down in front of a cabinet to look through his selection. They had until the storm let up, so he just shrugged and grabbed something at random.
They ended up watching some artsy flick about water. Haruka seemed to enjoy it, and that made Makoto happy. He barely knew the man, but seeing others happy made him happy, stranger or not. By the time it was over, it was time for lunch, and Makoto somehow wasn't surprised when Haruka insisted they have mackerel again. The two got on pretty well, although Haruka was much more reserved. It wasn't until after a few more movies and a casual remark about the length of the storm that Haruka seemed to notice how long he had been there.
"Oh. It's getting late. I have to go." That was all he offered, standing up in the middle of a movie, looking as stoic as ever.
"The storm has only gotten worse…" Makoto fretted, standing up and peering out the window after pausing the movie "Are you sure you can make it home? You said you were lost."
Haruka paused for a moment, before repeating again "I have to go."
"Do you know how far you are from home? My car is parked a short walk from here, I can drive you wherever you need to go. Or even help you find your way home. I wouldn't feel right simply turning you out in the forest" Makoto frowned at the thought. He really hadn't expected the summer storm to last more than an hour or two, let alone all day.
"No thank you. I have to go." He was already walked towards the door. Haruka hadn't even shown up with a coat.
"Then let me walk with you, or take one of my coats. An umbrella at least!" Makoto insisted doggedly.
"Truly, no. You have been kind enough to me already." Haruka wrapped his hand around the doorknob, glancing over his shoulder with a cool, neutral expression on his face "Please, don't worry about me, Makoto." Then the door was open and he was gone, swinging the door shut behind him.
Makoto was left with mouth agape, confused and startled by the sudden departure of his surprise guest. He wasn't quite sure what to make of either Haruka's strange arrival or departure. So he simply sighed, shaking his head. It wasn't like the other man was incapable of taking care of himself… probably. But he couldn't help but worry. It was in his nature, or so he had been told.
Makoto stared out the window for a good ten minutes after Haruka left, in case the black-haired man stumbled back, as lost and soaked as Makoto imagined him being. Eventually, however, Makoto forced himself to stop worrying about it. Mostly. The sun went down and Makoto made himself dinner. Anything but mackerel, he decided. Two meals out of three was plenty.
Afterwards there was really nothing to do but sleep. This time, he went upstairs to his room, curling up under soft blankets and protected by an army of pillows. Sleep didn't come as easy as the night before. His mind was analyzing the day. He couldn't turn it off. He just kept thinking about Haruka. What a strange man he had been, to show up and leave so brazenly. No explanations other than being lost, and he hadn't shown any sort of concern over it when leaving. Makoto decided he was probably over thinking the whole situation, after all, he hadn't had a whole lot of face to face social contact in the last little while. Just over the phone, and that one time Rei and Nagisa came to check up on him and make sure he was fully stocked.
They probably felt they had to check on him. Makoto was in his isolation upon suggestion from his therapist. According to him, the chaos of the city had led Makoto to being stressed and anxious, and what he really needed was some time to himself to simply exist. He felt bad for being a burden on his friends, but it was rather unavoidable. They insisted on stopping by every so often. Peace is only good up until a point, as Nagisa had so philosophically pointed out one day. He supposed that he was craving human contact, which explained his disappointment at the departure of his new—dare he say it, friend.
Makoto decided he wouldn't mind terribly if Haruka showed up again tomorrow. Especially since that would be proof that he didn't get eaten by a bear. The storm didn't wane for another hour. Makoto didn't get much sleep that night.
Morning came slowly. The sky was clear and blue, but the sun took its time stretching its rays across the forest. The leaves of the trees shone with water, dew drops ran down the veins of the leaves into pools too heavy for them to support, then, like green cups the leaves would tilt and pour the water out. The storm had done a number on the younger trees, which now bowed as if begging for mercy from Mother Nature. The grass was wet, water gathered where it couldn't be drawn into the ground.
Makoto woke as slowly as the sun did, groggily pulling himself one piece of consciousness at a time out of the weight of sleep. He blinked wearily in the pale sunlight, stretching his arms above his head. He opened his mouth wide and yawned. The young man laughed to himself; the house still smelled like mackerel. The smell brought back the worry from the night before, although to a lesser degree. It wasn't his business if a stranger had somewhere to be.
He pulled on a housecoat absently, rubbing his eyes and heading downstairs to the kitchen. At least this morning he could make whatever he wanted. Hell, who needed to eat breakfast?
"Oh. You're awake. Breakfast is almost ready" And there he was, dark hair wet and messy, throwing a glance over his shoulder at Makoto. Haruka Nanase. Mysterious visitor. And apparently also a trespasser.
"Ah…-" Makoto wasn't quite sure what to make of the situation. He blinked a few times to make sure he wasn't just imagining things. And still there was Haruka staring at him impatiently. Did Haruka really have the right to look annoyed? Makoto wasn't sure whether to be relieved that the man hadn't died, or be angry about the whole breaking and entering thing "I thought I locked the door, funny" Makoto murmured coolly.
"You did." Haru shrugged, turning back to the pan on the stove, which contained mackerel, of course. That would explain the smell.
"You, uh, broke in?" Makoto prompted with a nervous laugh, wringing his hands.
"Mm. I owed you a meal." Haru explained casually "I didn't want to wake you up. I put the spare key back under the mat. I think the mackerel is ready"
Was there really anything to be done about it? The bottom line was that Haruka was at least alive, and he hadn't actually broken in per say, so it wasn't like that was too much of a big deal. But he had to admit it was a bit disconcerting that this man, practically a stranger had just entered his house while he was sleeping. It was best not to over think it.
Makoto walked up to Haru with a hesitant smile "Did you make it home alright last night? I would hate to hear you spent too long finding your way home"
"Yes. I don't live far. Do you want some mackerel or not?" Haru droned impatiently, serving the fish onto two plates.
"I, uh, I guess so." Makoto answered quietly, taking one plate from Haru, trying to look grateful over his apprehension.
"You look like you expect me to kill you. Like I said yesterday, you don't have to worry about that" Haruka assured the other man with his low and steady voice. It was a rather comforting voice if Makoto had ever heard one.
They sat down on the couch together, leaving a respectable distance between them. When Makoto took a bite, he smiled "I think you're better at cooking mackerel than I am."
Haruka's lips turned slightly upwards at the compliment "Must be luck. I don't cook."
"Really? I'm surprised. What do you spend your time doing then?" Makoto asked, keeping his tone light and friendly. He got the feeling that Haru wasn't so good around strangers, so he considered it his duty to put him at ease, even if he had broken in.
"Swimming." Haruka answered honestly, staring at his food intensely.
"That's it?" Makoto teased.
"Yeah."
"I used to swim too, on my high school team. Did you swim on a team? If you did, maybe we've swum together and not even known it!" Makoto suggested with a playful grin.
Haru returned his smile with a disdainful glance "No. I didn't swim on a team."
"Oh. If you like swimming so much then why not? I suppose you don't like the competitive aspect then?" Makoto asked, more so just to make conversation by this point.
"I've never had access to a swimming team." Haruka explained simply, slowly as though Makoto needed it spelled out for him.
Mako's eyebrows shot up "That would explain it. Where did you go?"
Haru paused for a moment, pursing his lips thoughtfully "Nowhere you would have heard of. It's… far away."
"I went to Iwatobi High school. It was a nice school, but I can't say I'm not relived to be done with school by this point." Makoto rambled on, just making conversation. Any moment of silence felt awkward, since the two barely knew each other. Makoto was about to start talking again, but when he looked over at Haru, the man had busied himself with a book he had found on the end table. Makoto laughed inwardly and shook his head, leaning back and closing his eyes. The restless night had left him exhausted and he soon found himself teetering on the edge of sleep and wakefulness.
"Tell me more about your swim team, and your high school." Haruka murmured, pulling Makoto out of his slumber.
"Hm?" Makoto yawned as he stretched, finding with an embarrassed blush that he was leaning against Haruka. How much time had passed? It took him a second to find his voice, and he straightened so he wasn't leaning on Haru "My swim team…? Well, we were just a small team. There was myself, Nagisa, Rei and Rin. We were a pretty good team though. The relay was always kind of our thing." He paused, making a pensive humming noise "Iwatobi itself… there isn't a lot to say about it. It was just like any other school I guess. I don't have any complaints, and I wouldn't trade my team mates for the world, I guess I had it pretty good."
Haruka blinked at him, then closed his eyes without acknowledging Mako's answer, resting his head against the back of the couch. The book he had begun to read was laid back on the end table, gently closed.
"Do you have the sequel to that book?" Haruka inquired quietly.
"Are you already finished it, Haruka?"
"Mm. Do you have the next book?"
"I do. Do you want to take it home with you?" Makoto offered, standing up to go retrieve it.
"No, that's okay. I'll start it tomorrow."
Did that mean that Haru planned to come back the next day? The thought sent a thrill down Makoto's spine "Alright. I'm sorry, I slept through lunch it seems. I hope you aren't too terribly hungry."
"Don't worry. I ate the leftover mackerel."
Haruka sure knew how to make himself at home. Makoto made a teasing tsk "I guess that means I have to make us something for dinner."
"No. I have to go."
Makoto nodded absently "Alright. Are you okay to make it back on your own tonight?"
Haruka returned the nod and stood, heading towards the door "Thank you for allowing me to spend the day here."
"You're welcome anytime."
Haruka finished the entire four-part series over the next week. Between chapters he asked endless questions about Makoto's life in the city. Every detail seemed to be something new and fascinating to Haru. He especially seemed to find the idea of Makoto's swim team to be captivating. And yet he never answered a single one of Makoto's questions with anything other than a vague dismissal. Even as Makoto opened up to the strange man, Haru remained a cool, placid mystery.
"Why are you here?" Haruka asked out of the blue, gently pulling Makoto out of his musings.
"What do you mean?" Makoto asked, bringing his and to his mouth to stifle a yawn.
"I don't see why you're here, in the middle of nowhere. You live far away, so why?" Haruka explained his question, blinking his soft eyes at Makoto.
"I could ask the same of you" That made Haru tilt his head and blink crossly, which made Makoto laugh, but he cleared his throat and continued "I, uh, have certain ailments that make it necessary for me to come here for the summer, to get away from the stress of the city. I'll probably have to leave in a few weeks."
"Oh." Haru hummed in reply, and Makoto didn't miss the downcast look that Haruka directed towards the floor. Was that not the answer he was looking for? Or was he sad that Makoto had to leave soon?
"It's almost dinnertime. I can't tempt you to stay for a bite to eat, can I?" Makoto offered hopefully with a sweet smile.
Haruka seemed to consider the offer for a long moment "Okay."
Makoto couldn't contain his victorious smirk; this would be the latest Haruka had ever stayed then. And he found himself wanting the other man to stay longer. The thought made his cheeks heat and his mind buzz like he was intoxicated.
"How does a picnic sound, Haru? I can make some sandwiches and we can find a nice spot in the woods. Not a cloud in the sky, and the sun will be up for a while yet." Maybe they could even catch the sunset together, and that made Makoto's heart flutter with delight.
"Alright." Haru agreed with minute hesitation.
Together they made a couple of sandwiches, of course Haru's included grilled mackerel, which didn't even make Makoto raise an eyebrow anymore. They fell into a comfortable rhythm, moving about the kitchen like domestic dancers, dropping things into a bag. It took only about ten minutes, but it felt longer, an enjoyable eternity between the two young men.
Makoto slipped on a light sweater in case it got cooler as the evening progressed, and the duo headed out. It was warm, but a cool breeze ruffled their hair comfortably. Their strides fell in step, and neither broke the silence, save for the occasional broken twig. They didn't stray far from the cottage, perhaps a two-minute walk tops into the meadow between Makoto's house and the forest. It was lush, green and dotted with wildflowers, wild strawberries even grew if you knew where to look. They settled down by a smooth boulder, the worn sides dotted with fossils of water-dwelling crustaceans. At one point, the place must have been deep underwater.
They leaned against the cool stone, always with a polite space between them that Makoto eyed distastefully. Despite all the work that they had put into their meal, neither found themselves terribly hungry.
"Tell me more about the city." Haru murmured, staring at Makoto with intense scrutiny that made him blush.
"What do you want to know? I've told you so much already, I'm not sure how much more there is to tell."
"I want to know… everything. Tell me about what your days are like." Haru prompted.
"Ah… I'm afraid it isn't terribly interesting." He almost stopped there, but Haru looked so sweet and innocent, a mix of curiosity and content in his watery gaze "I own a swim gear store. All I do is work there every day. Sometimes I walk in the park at lunch, and sometimes I meet up with my friends." He paused, sighing wistfully "On Tuesdays after work I go to the doctor, and on Fridays I try to go out for drinks, but it doesn't always turn out that way. There's so much to do."
"How did you find the time to come here?"
"Nagisa and Rei are taking over the store for the summer. At least they said they'd try to keep it open a few times a week" Makoto chuckled "They've done so much for me, I don't know how I'm going to repay them when I get back."
Haru was silent a long time, and together they just stared at the sky, absently picking the brightly coloured flowers. When he spoke, it was soft and tentative "You came here to be alone, right?"
Makoto glanced at his friend and replied with a non-committal shrug "I guess that's one way of putting it."
"Am I… Getting in the way of the reason you came here?"
Makoto almost laughed out loud, but restrained himself "No-! Of course not. I came here looking for peace and calm, if anything you've only helped me on my way."
The breeze picked up into a wind, carrying the scent of distant rain, and Makoto noticed the way that Haru quivered. He smiled and shrugged off his jacket, gently placing it over Haruka's shoulders. At first, Haru looked apprehensive to accept the offering, but relaxed into the residual body heat it offered. Feeling bold, Makoto gently tugged Haru towards him, allowing the dark-haired man to rest his head on his shoulder, wrapping his arm around Haruka's form.
They stayed like that for a long time, watching as the sky blossomed into shades of pastel brilliance. Makoto found himself unable to keep his eyes open, and as the last drops of dusk retreated over the horizon, he slept.
"You're making this so much harder than it has to be… Makoto…"
When Makoto woke up, he was alone. His jacket was neatly folded beside the bag of untouched food. When had Haru left? He felt duped, falling asleep beside him and waking up with nothing but aches from leaning against the cold stone for too long and a lingering blush on his cheeks as he thought about the evening before.
It was just barely morning, and Makoto returned to his house still heavy with the fog of sleep and gratefully fell into a deep slumber on his couch. He slept the entire day, but when he woke up that evening, the house smelled like mackerel and there was a blanket draped haphazardly over him. Makoto smiled, wondering how Haru always seemed to find that damn spare key. Not that he minded. Sleep came easier than ever that night, cheeks still flaming and a smile still pulling at his lips.
Slowly, like coaxing a rabbit out of its burrow, Makoto began to convince Haru to stay later into the evening. It was selfish, he knew, and he did worry about Haruka getting home in the dark, but the other man never seemed to give it a second thought. It was funny, that he had come to Makoto's house lost and soaked to the bone two weeks ago, and now he was able to find his way back in the dark, stormy or cloudless night. They had been making it a habit, sitting out on the porch to watch the sunset and then the stars. But they never went into the meadow or beyond since the evening of the picnic. Neither ever brought up that day. Makoto was a little worried that he had pushed his friend's boundaries. Although Makoto wouldn't mind repeating that day, and he had, embarrassingly often, in his sleep.
It was about seven PM, and the pair was sat together on the porch, close enough that they could feel each other's movement. They had a blanket draped around them, and for good reason. It was chilly evening, a precursor to autumn. The colder season was moving in faster than it ought to have, but there was nothing they could do but watch the tips of the leaves turn red and orange. Neither wanted to acknowledge the fact that their time together was coming to close, faster than they had anticipated.
"It's going to be September soon." Makoto sighed dejectedly.
"Mm." Haru hummed in equally mournful agreement.
"So dawn goes down to day; nothing gold can stay." Makoto quoted, staring up at the dark-hued sky.
"Robert Frost." Haruka murmured, tilting his head at Makoto.
"I noticed a book of his poems on the coffee table a few days ago. Did you enjoy his work?" Makoto asked.
"I have never seen anything like it. I don't have a chance to… read much."
"That's too bad. I have a much more extensive collection of works back in the city. I wish I could show it to you. You'd probably find something to your liking there." Makoto sighed wistfully. But the thought of Haru and Makoto's life back in the city didn't mesh well, so he brushed off the notion.
Haruka too, didn't seem to be too comfortable with the idea, ignoring the statement altogether "What did you do before we met?" He asked.
"You mean like how did I spend my days out here before you showed up?" Haruka nodded his ascent "Well, I read a lot, I still do I guess. I walked around, I fished. It was peaceful, but a little boring after a while. I'm glad you showed up when you did."
They both stared upwards as the stars began to glimmer above them, filling the dark sky with pinpoints of light. Not far, in the meadow, fireflies began to appear. It made it look as though the sky didn't end when it reached the horizon, like they were sat overlooking an abyss full of stars. Other than a few bats emerging to hunt, the sky remained perfectly clear. It was one of the moments that Makoto wished he could live in forever, without having to worry about the real world outside of their tiny, tranquil bubble.
"Do you know any more poetry by heart?" Haru asked suddenly, looking at Makoto questioningly.
Makoto smiled in response and began to speak in a gentle, smooth murmur "Dawn is dim on the dark soft water, soft and passionate, dark and sweet. Love's own self was the deep sea's daughter, fair and flawless from face to feet, hailed of all when the world was golden, loved of lovers whose names beholden thrill men's eyes as with light of olden; days more glad than their flight was fleet. So they sang: but for men that love her, souls that hear not her word in vain, earth beside her and heaven above her seem but shadows that wax and wane. Softer than sleep's are the sea's caresses, Kinder than love's that betrays and blesses, blither than spring's when her flowerful tresses shake forth sunlight and shine with rain." He spoke slowly. He had a feeling that Haruka would enjoy this one; it was called A Swimmer's Dream, by Algernon Charles Swinburne. It was one of Makoto's favorites,
"All the strength of the waves that perish swells beneath me and laughs and sighs, Sighs for love of the life they cherish, laughs to know that it lives and dies, dies for joy of its life, and lives thrilled with joy that its brief death gives - Death whose laugh or whose breath forgives change that bids it subside and rise." However, Makoto only knew the first movement, and a bit of the last movement—it was his favorite part—it went on for ages anyways. It was kind of ridiculous.
But when Makoto looked down to see if Haru had liked his choice, the other man was sleeping, head rested against Makoto's chest. Makoto smiled, realizing that this was first time he had ever seen the other man sleep. He looked so much… softer, so innocent and serene. He decided to let Haru sleep until it was time for him to go.
The time passed at the pace of a river, both fast, and slow, calm and yet harried as the query of a hunter. The days blurred into blissful moments broken only by Haru's departures. Hour-long naps on the couch, and reading poetry neither of them really understood, picking flowers like giddy middle schoolers in the meadow—Makoto was mostly the one doing the picking, although Haru never seemed to mind being offered makeshift bouquets—and mackerel, of course. Three weeks of the stuff, he doubted he'd ever be able to get the smell out of the house.
The clock turned from 8:59 to 9:00 and Haruka stood, without even looking at the time "I have to leave now" It was the same as every day. Over time, he stayed longer, but he functioned with the routine of a machine. He would never stay a moment longer than nine.
"Let me walk you home?" Makoto offered with a gentle smile as he too got to his feet. He had grown to be suspicious of Haru, he had to wonder if maybe the man was homeless. It worried him a great deal.
"No. You've been very kind to me, but I can make it home myself." Haruka declined the offer politely, as he always did whenever Makoto brought up the idea.
It was a clear evening, not a cloud marred the darkening sky. It would have been the perfect night for a walk under the stars, a night to be enjoyed with family, friends and lovers. It would have been nice to share that beauty with Haru for longer, to sleep together in the most innocent sense of the phrase under the stars until dawn. But not every night could be a night of stargazing and serenity and poetry.
"Alright, Haru. Will you come back tomorrow?" Makoto asked, as he always did.
"Yes"
"You promise?" Makoto prompted playfully, but worry laced his words unmistakably.
"I promise" Haruka echoed his words softly as he opened the door, letting the scent of distant rain wash the house on the summer wind, reminding them both of the storm that had marked their first meeting. It had been three weeks since then, and a lot had changed in that time. They no longer felt the need to fill silences with small talk. They didn't have to force conversation, or laughter, and the smiles that Haru offered seemed ever more genuine.
"Good. Take care of yourself, okay?" Makoto hugged Haru, despite the way Haru didn't even seem to react to the action before turning and leaving, closing the door behind him.
Makoto waited a moment, holding his breath and then reached for the doorknob himself and turning it gingerly. He took in a deep breathe of the rain-washed air and stepped outside. He was going to follow Haru tonight, just in case. Should the man go into his house, Makoto would just turn around and go home, but if his worries came to fruition… well, Makoto would think about that then. He slipped into his shoes and headed outside before he lost sight of Haru.
By the time Makoto was following him, Haru was disappearing into the woods. Makoto kept pace though, and was soon surprised to find that Haru was wondering off the trail into the thicker forest. Worry bloomed in Mako's chest, and he shuddered at the idea that Haruka might actually be homeless. He kept expecting Haru to just sit down or something, but he kept walking at a confident speed forwards. Makoto was suddenly having trouble keeping up with Haru's confident pace, getting faster as time went on, and slowly Makoto began to believe that maybe he really did have a destination in mind, but whether or not it was actually a house was still the question on Makoto's mind. Only time would tell.
When they emerged by the river, Makoto expected Haru to turn and walk by the river. Perhaps he found his way home using the river? It made sense. But Haru didn't stop, he kept walking until he was ankle deep in the water. Makoto stayed hidden behind some rocks behind the tree line, eyes wide with confusion. When Haruka paused, Makoto held his breath, afraid he had been heard, but then Haru kept walking further into the water. A late night swim, maybe? He had told Makoto that he loved water after all. But in the rough waters of the river? Fully-clothed? Every so often the calm of the water was broken by jagged rocks, and the water bubbled white around them. The water around Haruka was as still as a mirror, he paused again until there were no ripples left from his trembling footsteps. He was knee deep now, still fully clothed, not shivering, not moving a muscle. Then, in one graceful, fluid movement, he dove, arching above the water for a moment before disappearing under the surface, only sending minute waves across the river's skin.
Makoto found himself holding his breath again, waiting for his friend to resurface. A minute went by, then two, and Makoto found himself drifting forwards to the river's edge, his mouth slightly agape and his breathing heavy. Where was Haruka? The waters remained blissfully calm, caressing the shore like a lover. Where the hell had he gone? Surely he hadn't missed him emerge elsewhere? Another minute, trembling and gasping by the shore, eyes frantically sweeping the surface of the river. Had the water been too shallow? Had he hit his head? The possibilities were endless, but wouldn't he have floated up he'd been knocked unconscious? Makoto didn't claim to know a lot about these things, but he tried to rationalize it.
"Haru!" Makoto yelled worriedly into the darkness across the river "Haruka!" Only the plaintive hoot of a distant owl answered his cries.
He flinched back when the water touched his shoes, having not realized that he had still been walking forwards. Makoto stared down at his feet for a long moment, watching the water just barely brush at his toes. Had he just watched his friend dive into his demise? Was it… that simple? Just one fluid, confident movement into the water? Haruka had made the action seem so simple, so easy to replicate.
"Haru?" Makoto called out again, quieter, less urgently, but still layered with dismay "Oh my god, Haruka…" Makoto squeezed his eyes shut and took another step forwards "Haruka!" He cried with renewed vigor, straining to make his voice reach the ends of the earth. Another step into the water and the river was sweeping past his ankles, whispering unintelligible words of comfort against his skin.
The water was so cold… Yet Makoto found himself desperately forcing his way further into the river until he was knee high in the dark substance. Exactly the depth at which Haruka had suddenly disappeared. The water was so cold it burned, damned mountain fed river. Makoto's teeth chattered and he wrapped his arms around himself. The air suddenly didn't feel so warm anymore, and all he wanted to do was wrap himself in the comfort of home. The cold seemed to wrap around his bones and settle over his mind like a fog. It was getting so late, and he was so tired…
"Haruka" He murmured, suddenly feeling so overtaken by exhaustion that the mere utterance of Haru's name felt like lead on his tongue. The water was so cold. Something brushed against his leg, cold as ice, colder than the water. He felt rigid with shock as he backed out of the water, his heart pounding behind his ribcage and his breath catching with every gasp.
His mouth felt dry as he exited the water, eyes constantly scanning for any sign of life. But there was nothing but cold dark water. Makoto turned and fled back into the woods, back home. To do what? The landline was still out from the storm when they had first met. Apparently fixing it was less of a priority than other damages. The walk back home was over in a second, yet took an eternity. Makoto stumbled into his house, tears streaming down his face. He slammed the door behind him and collapsed on the coach where only moments before he and Haruka had been enjoying each other's company. Makoto took one breath, then another, a shuddering sob escaping his lips before falling into a restless slumber. He was so... tired…
Three knocks at the door woke him up with a start, panting and sweating from the nightmare he had been having. The black waters smiling at him, inviting him, saying come see your friend, we've kept him safe. The words had been kind, the tone sweet, but the meaning menacing. Who could be at the door? Hope swelled in his chest, and he was on his feet in an instant, rushing to the door. He opened it and his breath rushed out in a whoosh.
Mystery visitor, trespasser, friend and most importantly, living human. There was Haruka Nanase, blinking at Makoto, lips set in the exact same stoic frown that he had worn the day they met. Makoto couldn't help but laughing in relief and joy at seeing his friend, and enveloped him in a tight hug, his grin threatening to tear his face.
"I was just here yesterday, you know. You don't need to be so excited." Haru untangled himself from Makoto, but Makoto didn't miss the squeeze that Haru gave back before detaching himself.
Makoto smiled widely, and opened his mouth to tell his friend about the scary misunderstanding that had occurred last night. But then he snapped his mouth shut, remembering how serious Haruka had been when Makoto had joked about following him home. How he told Makoto specifically never to do that.
"I had a dream that you died" Mako explained breathlessly "I'm just… Glad to see it was really a dream"
"It's warm. We should walk" Haruka suggested with a shrug, and what Makoto could only describe as the saddest smile he had ever seen.
Makoto lit up at the suggestion; although they had spent much of their time together enjoying the outdoors, they had never actually ventured past the meadow together, and more often than not, Haruka was content to stay inside "That sounds like a great idea, Haru."
Haruka turned around and walked. Makoto was about to call after him to wait, but when he looked down, he realized he was still wearing his shoes. His socks were… uncomfortably damp, but telling Haruka such would mean admitting to what had happened the night before. So he just hurried after his friend, ignoring the squish of his feet inside his shoes.
Once he had caught up to the brisk pace that Haruka had set, they fell into a comfortable silence. Makoto hoped they could walk like this more often, it was even nicer than simply sitting in each other's company. Then, suddenly, in a clearing sprinkled with pine saplings, Haruka stopped. Makoto slowed and stopped a moment after him, throwing a confused glance over his shoulder at his friend.
"Is something wrong, Haruka?" Makoto asked worriedly, turning his entire body to face him.
"No. This is a nice spot" Haru remarked detachedly.
"Yes, I suppose it is, did you want to rest here for a while?"
Haruka made an affirmative sound and sat down with his back against a towering lodgepole pine. Makoto made himself comfortable next to him, humming in appreciation of the scenery.
"You dreamt that I died" Haruka murmured to him, not phrasing it like a question, but it hung in the air like one.
Makoto nodded slightly, not liking the idea that Haru was going to probe him for details. It was out of character for his friend, and he feared that maybe Haruka knew what had happened.
"How did I die?"
"You drowned"
"Impossible."
"Hm?"
"I could never drown,"
"Oh. Well in my dream you did."
"Your dream is impossible. And anyways, didn't I promise to come back?"
"I guess you did, I'm glad,"
There was a long moment of silence. Makoto glanced at Haruka several times to find blue eyes scrutinizing him unabashedly. They were beautiful, those eyes.
Then Haruka kept talking, his voice low and his tone solemn "Were you sad that I drowned?"
"Very. I was angry that I let you die and afraid of what it meant."
"Would you be sad if I never came back?"
"Yes, of course. You're my friend, Haruka."
"Oh."
Another long silence stretched between them. Makoto felt that there should have been tension between them, but there was only silence, comfortable and serene as ever. And always Haruka's eyes on him. He wouldn't mind staring at Haruka either, but he blushed when he met those watery eyes.
"Will you be sad when you have to leave?" Haruka asked, with reference to the fact that Makoto could not just keep living in that cabin away from his family, friends and responsibilities. Especially know that autumn was encroaching on the forest.
"Yeah."
"But you'll be happy to be home."
"Yeah, I guess." Makoto met Haru's eyes for a moment before glancing away again "Do you have a home to go back to, Haru?"
"Yeah."
"What I mean to say is, do you have a home somewhere else, or do you live here all the time?"
"This is my home."
"Doesn't it get cold?"
"Yeah."
"Are you all alone out here?"
"No."
"Oh. So do you have family here?"
"No."
"Friends?"
"No."
Makoto sighed, sensing that he wasn't getting anywhere with his inquiries. The day was aging rapidly, and shadows swept past them from the clouds drifting lazily overhead, the sun ever inching westwards. When Makoto glanced at Haruka, he found that finally the other man's gaze had drifted away, and now rested upwards, trailing after the clouds. Makoto smiled at the calm look that overcame his friend. He was glad that he had just been imagining things the night before. If Haruka had really disappeared…
Haruka closed his eyes blissfully, chin tilted slightly upwards to catch the sun on his face. He didn't smile, but Makoto could have sworn he could feel the serenity rolling off of him. It was a nice moment, and Makoto wished that he could capture the feeling in a bottle to save for later.
"Do you come out into the woods often, Makoto?" Haruka spoke in a low murmur, eyes still closed and face tilted like a sunflower towards the light.
"Sometimes, yeah." Makoto replied with a non-committal shrug "You must do a lot of walking. Between my house and yours every morning and evening."
"It isn't so far." Haruka hummed as he blinked his eyes open and looked at Makoto.
"I'm surprised I've never come across your home then. Before we met I did a lot of exploring." Makoto mused absently.
"Strange." Was all Haru offered in reply.
"Your hair is always wet every morning, do you swim before you come to my house?" Makoto asked. From an earlier conversation Makoto knew that Haru liked to swim, so it seemed like a good place to forward the conversation. It was something he had been wondering anyways, especially after the night before. Had he really even seen Haruka leap into the water?
"Yes."
"You like to swim, don't you? I think I've told you before, but I used to swim competitively." Makoto explained.
"Yes. It makes me free."
"I think I've heard you say that before. What do you mean?" Makoto asked, cocking his head slightly to the right with a curious smile.
"I am only free when I'm in the water." Haruka explained, as though he was clearing things up with his cryptic explanation.
"Maybe we should go swimming tomorrow then." Makoto offered, blinking patiently at his friend. It would be nice to see Haruka in his element, if he was as at home in the water as he made himself out to be.
Haruka's lips turned upwards in a coy smile that quickly faded "Maybe."
Makoto himself hadn't really swum much since high school. It had been his plan to coach swimming when he was older, but the world was a cruel place, and there wasn't enough room for everyone to do exactly what they wanted to do. So, like he had previously explained to Haruka, he had opened a swim gear store. He liked helping people after all, even if it was something as simple as finding the right pair of goggles for them. It wasn't exactly thrilling work, and he missed swimming a great deal, but it paid the bills and filled the hours. And in the end it seemed that that was all that mattered.
"So do you swim often then? If you love it so much, you must spend a lot of time swimming." Makoto asked curiously, returning the quick smile with a grin of his own.
"Mm. I swim every day." Haruka answered with a shrug.
"Oh wow. But you spend your days with me, or at least you have for the last few weeks. I hope you're still able to find time to swim. You said you swim in the mornings, but that would mean getting up pretty early, wouldn't it? Do you also swim in the evening?"
"Yes." Haruka huffed, tilting his head, looking disgruntled with the amount of questioning that was going on.
Makoto felt like laughing—so maybe he had seen Haru then? He must have simply missed his friend leave the water. If the dark-haired man was at good at swimming as he made himself out to be, then maybe he had swum up or downstream while underwater.
Not feeling so crazy after all, Makoto smiled the most genuine smile he had mustered all day "I hope you don't stay in the river for too long, you might catch a cold."
"Who says I swim in the river?"
Makoto felt his face he red and he coughed to cover his embarrassment "I just assumed, do you have a pool at your home? Or maybe there's a lake somewhere near that I haven't come across…?"
"No. I do swim in the river." Haruka chuckled darkly, shaking his head "It's getting late" He remarked.
"Oh, it is." Makoto hummed contently. It hadn't felt like they had been there long, but he was right, the sky was stained pink.
"I think I should go home." Haru mused, his eyes watery as ever and sadder than Mako had ever seen them.
"You usually stay longer than this, is something wrong, Haru?" Makoto fretted, as motherly as ever towards his friend.
Instead of answering the concerned inquiry, Haruka sighed "Would you—would you like to walk to my home with me?"
Makoto stared at Haru with a gaping mouth for perhaps a second too long before stuttering back a reply "Yes, of course!" Did he sound too enthusiastic? Was that creepy? He didn't want to sound creepy.
Haruka stood slowly, like moving every muscle was something new and laborious. Makoto followed his lead and without word they set off into the forest.
"I'm sorry I haven't allowed you to come with me before." Haruka sighed, glancing back at Makoto.
"No, that's fine. I respect your privacy. I was just worried you were living under a bush or something." Makoto explained with a breathy laugh as he caught up to Haru.
"No, it's nothing like that." Haruka laughed along with him, a rare but somehow very satisfying sound. He led Makoto down a familiar path, setting a brisk and silent pace through the woods towards the unknown destination. Night spread its feathered wings across the sky as they walked, shielding the stars from the harsh glare of the sun and giving them shine of their own.
"I hope you aren't leading me out into the middle of nowhere so you can chop me up" Makoto joked as they exited the woods onto the shore of the river. Makoto shivered at the memory of the night before. The water was still and slow, reflecting the stars, making it look as though they could swim right into the depths of space.
"Hm. Not likely" Haruka countered, his voice heavy with hidden burden "Here we are. I'm sorry"
"Ah—Haruka, there's no house in sight… And you said you didn't live under a bush."
"This is—This is home, I wish I could explain better but..." Haruka sighed quietly, turning to blink at Makoto, and for a second the fairer-haired of the two could have sworn his eyes were black and endless, beady pearls instead of pupils and whites. But when Haruka blinked his eyes were back to normal, blue as the water before them.
"I don't understand…"
"It's okay, Makoto." Haru assured him, reaching out to touch his cheek with the back of his hand, frowning at the blush it left on Mako's pale skin "But I have to go home now, for a while."
"A while? I don't understand!" Makoto protested, catching Haruka's hand and holding it there desperately "Please, explain, you can trust me. Help me understand"
"I trust you." Haruka murmured "I don't belong here, on the shore." He paused for a long moment, as though trying to find the right words "I—have to go back to the water. Where I'm free."
Makoto, obviously misunderstanding the meaning behind the words, grabbed Haruka by the shoulders "Are you insane? I'm not going to let you drown yourself!"
Haru laughed sadly, pulling himself from Mako's grasp "No. No; like I said. I can't drown. I'm supposed to be in the water, Makoto. I was born in the water, I've always lived in the water. This is the first time I've ever walked on land. How do you do it all the time?"
"I still don't get what you're trying to say" Makoto cried out in frustration.
"I'm not human."
"What? Look at yourself, Haru, you're human as humans get! What you're saying—it's impossible, Haruka, it's insane."
Haruka gently took Makoto's hands as he backed up to the water's edge, smiling softly "Let me show you." He pulled them into the water until the water brushed at their knees "You saved me, Makoto. You found me before I found you. I was so afraid, all alone on the shore, but you came and helped me. Humans… they don't help us. Except for you, Makoto."
"I don't think—"
"Hush." Haruka blinked and his eyes were once again black. Makoto gaped at him silently "Don't be afraid for me. I won't live as long as you, but I'll spend every moment thinking of you." He shuddered gently as the water caressed him.
Makoto felt his lips tremble and he pulled Haruka into a tight embrace "Please don't go, tell me you're just joking, Haruka. Don't go."
Haru smiled faintly, but it looked strained and tired "I came to say thank you. But you were so… captivating I couldn't stop coming to you. It hurts so much to breathe air as you do. It burns, Makoto. I want to go home. And you… saw me. Last night. I know you did."
Makoto spoke in a hushed but desperate tenor "I just wanted to make sure you were okay… I thought you were dead. I thought you drowned. I was so scared for you."
Haru pulled them deeper into the water, trembling, resisting against some force that Makoto couldn't see or feel. When the water quivered against their waists, he sighed, letting all of the tension from his body. Makoto could feel his muscles relax all at once.
"Don't go." Makoto sniffed in despair. How could any of this even be possible? This was madness, impossible and… and yet he felt it in his bones. Why would Haru lie to him?
"I won't forget you. Will you forget me?"
"No. I—I could never forget you, Haruka."
This made Haru's tight smile widen and relax into a genuine look of content, he closed his eyes and leaned forwards, catching Makoto's lips with his own for a brief second, moving his lips to Mako's cheeks murmuring softly what at first seemed nonsensical, but Makoto quickly recognized the words "To sleep, to swim, and to dream, for ever - Such joy the vision of man saw never; for here too soon will a dark day sever the sea-bird's wing from the sea-wave's foam." It was a portion of the poem that Makoto had previously recited to him.
"I'm glad." Haruka whispered into his ear before allowing himself to fall backwards and slip from Mako's desperate embrace, water making no sound as it dipped into the waiting arms of the river, not even a ripple disturbed the mirror-like surface.
"Wait!" Makoto cried out, trying to cling to Haruka. But where there had been skin there was now only water "I love you—! Haruka wait: I never got to tell you I love you." He sunk down to his knees, barely keeping his chin above the water, flinging his despair verbally towards the cold water, slamming his fist against it as though he could convince it to return Haruka with physical might alone. A flash of silver at the surface of the water; the bush of a familiar something against his side, cold and yet somehow as comforting as a warm embrace, and he closed his eyes.
Haruka knew. That was all that mattered.
Thank you for reading. Feel free to leave a review letting me know what you thought, especially if you have any ideas on how to better my writing. I view it as the greatest form of praise that someone wants to help me improve. I don't own anything except the plot.