I own nothing. I got this idea from a shirt I saw while I was at work. I thought that this would make an awesome fic...And as always my choice of abuse goes to QUATRE! I love to torture him.
Dear Santa.
I don't know why I am writing this except that Duo's got all of us writing letters to Santa. I am not sure as to why I should be writing to some fictional fat man in a red suit that is supposedly giving me gifts if I am good. But, I have been good, ne? I'm sure I have. Right? Well, I figure I should at least write the letter I did promise Duo.
I sit for a while and stare at the paper. I am supposed to write down what I want for a holiday that I've never celebrated until I met Duo and think really hard as to whether or not I've been naughty. I suppose that I haven't been the nicest. Maybe he'll let me explain. I hope so.
Here we go...
Dear Santa,
I can explain...I realize that I haven't been the nicest person in the world, but if you'd give me a few moments of your time I'd like to explain this.
I suppose this year I have been naughty.
I didn't mean to kill Trowa's Pet.
But I swear it started when Trowa decided we should have a pet for the house. I didn't think anything of it until he brought home a rat. Well, he called it a gerbil but it was a rat...a large rat...but a rat. I thought that it was okay...that I'd be okay...but it left droplets every where. The last straw was the droplets in my favorite cup. I suppose, I, at least, should have told Trowa the truth as to how it drowned in the tub...But shrug he should have known better.
Then there was Heero's new laptop.
I thought that my bishie should at least pay some attention to me when we were alone. But NO! The new laptop that he saved and saved and obsessed over hogged up his every thought. I wasn't even given the time of day or night...not even when I showed up at his office in that short little skirt he likes. No, I had to always play second to that damned thing. So I took it outside, when he was on assignment and I smashed it. That wasn't enough...not by a long shot...I, then, gathered the little pieces and ran then over with my Suzuki...the little shit still wasn't dead. I gathered what was let and decided to drown it...it spark and hurt me...but it was dead...finally dead.
Oh yes...Duo's eyebrows...
Well, I can't remember why, but I was bored and decided Duo need a make over...under...up? So I snuck into his room. I colored his eyebrows neon pink. Oh but I couldn't stop there. Why should I? I unraveled all that silken hair and I carefully dyed it neon green and blue. He looked like a Vegas sign threw up on him. And the screams that were heard the next day will continue to please me long after I am a rotted corpse. Don't worry it was a 24 shampoo wash out. Hehehehe...Ah good times.
And Wufei's room...
His was the hardest to pull off...by far. I had to redecorate his room with him in there. That took some planning. Stealth in Wufei's room was hard. It's like all the boards in there were screaming. But I did it. What exactly did I do? I took all his decorations down and tacked up Relena's limo Pink wall covers, constructed a canope over his bed (complete with lace trims), and the Grand Finale was replacing his clothing with an assortment of nighties and teddies and heels. Including what he had on. Yes, the make-up was a pain but I did it. The day after was more than reward enough.
But you see I did most of this in fun. I mean once everyone calmed down and stopped blaming each other, they were fine. See so everything was fine. I am not that naughty...I am a little mischief maker but it's not that bad.
So see there dear Santa, I can explain.
Sincerely,
Quatre
P.S. If there is anyway to put Heero under the tree..wrapped and ready...I'd be extremely thankful.