Disclaimer: I own nothing. The idea for this came from my Myspace layout.
Rating: T- as always, suggestive content, language. The usual
Pairing: R/T
Summary: She won't tell him why she's here, and he won't question her. He only wants to make her happy. That's all he's ever wanted to do. Set after Rory's graduation from Yale. She never slept with Dean. Jess happened, but they never did anything. She dated Logan, but they never did anything, either. It's unrealistic, I know, but she's still a Mary.
"So, you and Dean never…"
"No." She shakes her head when he begins his question to her. She doesn't want to talk about how Dean had ended their relationship because of Jess and her unwillingness to give it up.
"Who else did you…"
"There was Jess." She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. She doesn't want to delve into this part of her life, but she knew it was bound to happen. She did, in fact, just show up on his doorstep at seven o'clock at night. He deserves the chance to ask questions. "And Logan Huntzberger."
He looks at her and studies her expression. He notes that now she is the one who is unreadable. He thought he had that act down, but she seems to have beat him at his own game. "Huntzberger."
It is a statement, not a question. His own cousin had gotten Mary. But he never could. All because he was stupid enough to goof off with the two idiots of Chilton. He'd learned that they had gone back to Chilton for senior year. "What happened with him?"
"He asked me to marry him. I said no. I wouldn't sleep with him, he ended it." She is now facing him, and he sees tears in her eyes. But she does not cry. He wonders, briefly, why she won't cry. But he knows better than to question her about that. She's here, and it's more than he could ever ask for.
She never left his mind. Every year he would go back to Hartford for Christmas, and every year his disappointment would grow when he didn't see her. He wonders, briefly, if she did the same.
"I looked for you all the time. Summer, Christmas, spring break. It figures I dated your cousin, though. He knew where to find you."
"What happened?"
"I wrote a letter to you after he and I broke up. He found it. Told me where I could find you." Her explanation still leaves questions. Was she still friends with Logan? Were they still benefiting from anything?
"Don't worry. It's over now," she says, as if reading his thoughts. "He decided to move to California. I decided to take a year off before I found a job. This is where it got me."
She doesn't want him to ask the next question, but she knows it's inevitable.
"Why are you here?" He is now sitting closer to her, his hand is resting on hers. He is almost afraid to hear her answer. But he reasons with himself that there has to be a good explanation. Nothing bad would come of this.
Her eyes are more blue than he's ever seen, he notes. "Because it was always you. No matter how much I tried to fight it. It was always you."
He is unsure why these words have affected him so much, but he doesn't care to figure out the reason. He kisses her, and his hands travel up her arms and cradle her head. She moves her hands to his sides, untucking his shirt. She knows what will happen next.
It hurts. But he kisses away the stray tears that fall, and he takes it slow. He is careful with her. He treats her as though she could break any moment.
When they are laying together afterward, she wants to tell him that he doesn't have to worry, she is already broken.
But she doesn't. Instead, she stays with him for two weeks. And then one day, he wakes up and she is not there. He calls Logan, but Logan won't talk to him. Especially after what he tells Logan happened. He has no way to contact her.
And so he pushes Rory Gilmore out of his mind. Hoping that this time it will work. Because he has had her, and he tells himself that she was no more than a conquest. He'd finally gotten Mary.
The thoughts do not help him. It is nearly four months later when he gets a letter, in handwriting that he thinks may belong to her. But the handwriting is not hers. It is her mother's, and the letter breaks him.
He packs a suitcase and goes to Connecticut. He is afraid of what he will or won't see. He is afraid to face his past so quickly, but he is doing this for her.
Lorelai Gilmore greets him with a hug and a sad smile when he arrives in Stars Hollow. She takes him into the kitchen and sits him down. She talks for awhile of how much Rory talked about him. How much Rory enjoyed having him around.
She then takes out a folded piece of paper and hands it to him. He is half-expecting a letter, but that is not what he finds.
"Ten Things to do Before I Die" is the heading on this paper. And the number one thing is highlighted, checked off, and a heart is put next to it.
"Fall in love," he mouths. And next to those words is a name. And he feels his frown slowly turn to a sad smile. Because it is his name, and he listens to Lorelai.
It was leukemia, and they hadn't found it in time. She went to North Carolina immediately after she'd found out. Logan had helped her locate him. Logan had not, in fact, found a letter. She'd reached out to Logan. And Logan had not spoken to Tristin because Rory had asked him not to. She didn't want Tristin knowing she was sick.
The next few days are a blur for him. They are snapshots, and he thinks he may be going mad. Dean is civil towards him, Jess offers him a handshake. And Logan offers him an ear. He knows he will take his cousin up on his offer. They may not have had much in common before, but they now have one bond they will never be able to shake: they had both loved – and lost – Rory Gilmore.
He stays in Stars Hollow only a few days after the funeral. He is given a box, and is told that when he is ready, he should go through it. He is scared of what he will find.
It is a week later when he thinks he is strong enough to go through it. When he opens it, though, he knows it was a stupid idea. But he continues, because the piece of paper at the top begs him to. And even in death, he will not deny her.
He sees a picture of them, standing on the beach. It was taken when she'd come to find him. He holds the picture as he finds other things. The expected – PJ Harvey tickets, the script from their scene from Romeo and Juliet. And the unexpected – her original valedictory speech, where she mentions him as her hero, and letters she wrote to him over the years, telling him about her life.
He gets to the bottom of the box and finds other pictures from the two weeks she spent with him. He takes them all out, and sets them on a table. He will find frames for them and set them out. He does not cry, though. He knows she wouldn't want him doing that.
He takes one more look in the box and finds a final letter, written on paper from a legal pad he knows he has on his desk. He sighs, and picks it up. A smile forming as he reads.
Dear Tristin,
If you're reading this, then I guess I'm gone. I'm sorry for hurting you – again. Please don't be angry, Tris. Don't be sad, either. You gave me everything I wanted. You had the love that I've longed for my entire life. Thank you for giving it to me. I promise you we will see each other again someday. Take care of yourself, and look for me in the sunsets.
I love you.
Mary