AN
Oh my glob, it's been way too damn long since I actually updated anything and the first thing I update is a one-shot. Peachy, right? Well, my pathetically good excuse is that I've been having exams and, therefore, no time to waste my life on the computer. But now that that's over, I'll be updating a little more from now on up till January, although it might be a little slow.
For new readers, it's not mandatory to read the sequels but if you want to, you can. That's all I can say to you.
I've gotten a little addicted to watching Adventure Time so most of my computer time goes to that. Also, I love this new show called Bee and Puppycat. You could say it was love at first sight. Anyways, enough of my blabbering and more of this story, eh?
...
Naruto's Gift
It was a bright and sunny day in Konoha…as usual. People were in good spirits, even Sasuke. Today was a special day, a day that got everyone in the Elemental Nations riled up. Today was the tenth of October, Naruto's eighteenth birthday, the day he became a legal man. Naruto could understand that he was a very well-loved person and many people obviously wanted to show their gratitude and respect for him but even the fucking birds wouldn't leave him alone!
The entire world started showering birthday gifts just two weeks before his birthday! Gifts from Iwa, Kumo, Suna, Kiri, Ame, Taki, Oto, Kusa, and many other places started overflowing his small apartment. As the days numbered closer to his actual birthday, the gifts started getting intense. Admirers started sending love letters, chocolates, flowers and…ahem…personal things that shouldn't concern the ears of a minor. What was this; Valentine's Day? A group in Konoha even gave Naruto a big house somewhere near the training ground where Naruto and Sasuke usually sparred, which was convenient because the blonde jinchuuriki now lived closer to his training area and he really needed more space to store his presents. Not to say Naruto was ungrateful for them, he just thought that they were a bit too much and slightly uncalled for.
On October tenth, there was no escaping the mobs of people chasing the poor blonde and begging him to accept their token of admiration. Now Naruto knew what Sasuke felt like back when everyone loved him, and he sympathized with young Sasuke. But this was a little different. Sasuke was kind of part of the large mass of people that went after him. Let's just say that some shinobi were the most desperate of people and these would include Sasuke. There was also Karin, Hinata, Konohamaru and his team and Sakura of course.
The people who fit in the 'desperate' category were mainly female, so it came as a surprise to many that Sasuke Uchiha would be in that particular category. Even more so that Karin, of all people, would willingly go against the love of her life in the competition for whose gift was better.
Orochimaru, leader of Otogakure once again and a good guy now, wouldn't go into a 'desperate' category. He had a level of his own, one that was so horrific that it didn't have a name. But, to clarify, let's just say he raised the dead. Yes, Orochimaru used Edo Tensei to raise a few people whom he knew Naruto would like to spend his birthday with. While raising the Fourth Hokage was a very reasonable and kind idea, it wasn't exactly the best. The Yellow Flash was soon known to the world as the world's most intense over protective father (he wouldn't allow Naruto to talk to even guys!) and soon even Orochimaru got tired of his shit and sealed him away. Everyone else was fair game though.
That's why Itachi almost sent Naruto to an early grave when his sudden appearance gave the blonde a near-heart attack. It also didn't help that Itachi had an uncharacteristic grin on his grey-ish cracked face.
"Naruto, I hear it's your birthday today." The older Uchiha stated.
"The longest one yet." Naruto groaned.
"Ah, I see your gift opening has worn you out." A nod from the jinchuuriki confirmed this. "Well, I apologize if this adds to your work but…" Itachi stepped aside to reveal a human-sized gift-wrapped package. Naruto forced himself to stand straight and put on a smile, no matter how strained it was. He didn't want to let Itachi down; the blonde's opinion of the older Uchiha had risen since the time he heard the Truth.
"Thanks, Itachi!" Naruto grinned.
Itachi smiled as Naruto ripped away the packaging with two weeks of practiced ease. Naruto's grin dropped when Sasuke jumped out of the box and grabbed the smaller orange-wearing boy and ran off. Itachi physically had to restrain himself from laughing the whole time but, after Sasuke and Naruto were out of sight, he let it out and fell to the floor in unrestrained laughter.
October tenth was surely a hectic day for one blonde. Just when Naruto believed that he was going to die, someone- something else stole him from Sas-fucking-uke. Sasuke glared at the offending object before it flew away to who-knows-where with the Uzumaki.
When said Uzumaki got himself together he found himself on a heap of paper. Thank goodness he didn't get any paper cuts. Looking up he saw a hand holding out a paper fox and three familiar faces; the cracked faces of Konan, Nagato and Yahiko without piercings. Naruto's face broke into a smile as he accepted the paper gift.
"Nagatoooooooo!" Naruto glomped the red-headed man, taking care of the fox in his hands while the other two chuckled at his antics.
"It's good to see you again too, Naruto" Nagato smiled, returning the hug.
"So, is this the kid you've been talking about, Nagato?" Yahiko asked, nudging the red head once Naruto let go of him. "Didn't know you took an interest in kids." Nagato spluttered at this, and started his lines of denial.
"Hey, I'm not a kid! I'm eighteen now!" Naruto yelled, not noticing what Yahiko had previously said about him and Nagato.
"Ah, I see so Nagato is-"Yahiko was cut off when Nagato slapped a hand over his mouth.
"That's enough, Yahiko. You know I'm not like that!"
"I don't get it. You're not what, Nagato?" Naruto asked innocently, cocking his head to the side.
Before the Rinnegan-bearer could reply, a distraction came their way. Swinging on a vine, yelling the Tarzan Yell, Karin snatched her little cousin from the Ame Orphan team. Naruto wasn't even half-heartedly surprised. This sort of thing had been going on for the past week; people just kept on interrupting Naruto from his previous conversations to draw him in to some new ones. Sometimes, being a celebrity was tough.
Pretty soon, Naruto found himself on his knees alongside Karin and Sakura with Hinata across from him at his new house in the living room. They were all talking amongst themselves, with Naruto especially. The blonde sighed. Oh how he wished his birthday would end soon so that he could get on with his normal life. As if someone out there had misinterpreted his wish, Itachi and Sasuke dropped from the ceiling and landed as gracefully as demented Uchihas could on either side of Hinata. The girls gave a surprised squeak as the Uchihas continued their conversation while drinking cups of tea that Naruto was sure he didn't have any of in this house.
"Oi, what the hell, Sasuke-kun?" Karin shouted, speaking the question the other two girls wanted to ask. Sasuke only graced the red head with a momentary glance before going back to his tea.
"Is it not a good thing that I am spending time with my best friend on his birthday?" Sasuke asked, as if daring Karin to deny it.
The red haired girl snorted. "You spend time with him every day; every single day of every single moment of every single waking second! I can hardly imagine a time when you two weren't together!"
"That's because Sasuke is-"Itachi was cut off when Sasuke slammed a palm over his mouth.
"Not now, Itachi." Naruto quirked an eyebrow at this. People weren't telling him some things. But Sasuke said 'not now', which meant later. So, Naruto would just wait for the Uchiha to tell it to him face-to-face.
"What we mean to say is," Sakura elaborated. "we don't see a real reason why you would be here, Sasuke-kun."
"The same reason as you, of course." Itachi stated blandly.
"T-This is our b-birthday gift to N-Naruto-kun." Hinata managed to stutter out.
"You call this a birthday present?" Sasuke rolled his dark eyes.
"Then what do you propose?" Sakura asked, crossing her arms.
"How about a bet?" Naruto mentally groaned, having a feeling of what was about to come out of the younger Uchiha's mouth. "Whoever gets Naruto the best gift, wins."
"Time limit?"
"Before midnight."
"The prize?"
Sasuke smirked. "Naruto."
"Deal!"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold it right there! Aren't you going to consult with the subject here?"
"You're right." Karin agreed. "What sort of gift do you like?"
Naruto groaned, but went with their game anyways. "Umm…something small and simple…?"
Naruto suddenly found himself alone with only Itachi across from him, drinking tea.
"Aren't you taking part too?" Naruto asked. Itachi shook his head.
"Nope, my taking part will ruin my Foolish Little Brother's chance at winning."
"Why would Sasuke-bastard want to win?"
"Hmmmmm… You'll see soon."
And thus, began a long yet comfortable silence in the Uzumaki house.
…
"N-Naruto-kun…" was the first human voice Naruto had heard in a while since his toad summons came to wish him. Naruto turned his head to see Hinata blushing up a storm as she presented a delectable and steamy bowl of delicious ramen just waiting to be eaten. Naruto's mouth watered at the sight, the ramen-lover that he was, and practically sucked up the whole meal like a vacuum cleaner. Hinata could've sworn he swallowed the bowl too, for it was nowhere to be found.
"D-Did you like it, N-Naruto-kun? I m-made it m-myself." Hinata stammered out. Naruto flashed her a smile so blindingly hot the poor Hyuuga almost fainted on the spot. (Did you see that rhyme there?)
"Thanks, Hinata-chan! That was awesome!" and then the blonde jinchuuriki just had to and do something stupid. Naruto hugged Hinata in gratitude and the girl, already flushed enough, fainted right there in his arms. Naruto regarded the unconscious girl in his arms and sighed. Well, he was kind of used to this already. Setting the sleeping Hyuuga in a comfortable position on the couch, Naruto sat beside Itachi, who was now reading a magazine, and waited for the others to come.
Later, Sakura appeared with a decorated pink box in her hands. Naruto, seeing the girl, stood up and braced himself.
"Hey, Sakura-chan, what have ya got there?" Naruto asked, smiling weakly. Sakura handed the box over to Naruto, who opened it and took out one piece of its contents.
"They're chocolates, but they're not the same types of chocolates you've gotten these past few weeks. I made them myself; mixing in my own special soldier pill recipe so that they give you a strong energy boost and they still taste good."
Naruto, upon eating the chocolates, turned green. He didn't know if he had more energy now but one thing was for sure, they didn't taste good. Maybe they tasted about zero point zero one percent better than the last time he ate Sakura's soldier pills, but they still tasted bad. Smiling so as not to upset the pinkette, Naruto briefly excused himself and ran for the bathroom and barfed out the chocolate as silently as he could into the toilet.
Itachi, seeing the exchange, shook his head and went back to his magazine.
…
When Karin had first asked Orochimaru to revive the Fourth Hokage, the Snake Sannin flipped a table over and started screaming "Nope! Nope! Nu-uh! No way!"
So, after some negotiations, she now sat here in this sealed room with a panicking Yondaime begging her to let him go see his Naru-chan.
"Hokage-sama," Karin started. "if you're so worried about your son's welfare, then why not teach him your famous Hiraishin for him to better defend himself?"
"I would if I could, but I'm stuck here!" Minato wailed.
"Then how about you teach it to me so that I may pass it down to him?"
Minato regarded the girl suspiciously. "I want the next Hiraishin user to be Naruto and only Naruto." He said with finality, leaving no room for argument.
"Alright then, just write down the instructions and kunai designs on paper so that I could give it to him. Oh, and bastardize the instructions because…you know Naruto."
"Yeah, I know Naruto…" the Yondaime said with bitter acceptance as he took the pen and paper from the red head and started writing down everything.
…
At first Sasuke had no idea what to get Naruto. He was aimlessly wandering the streets of Konoha thinking about what to get Naruto.
Thinking back on his conversation with the girls earlier, Sasuke ran into Naruto's favorite pupil.
"Hey Uchiha-teme! Have you seen the Boss lately? I can't find him anywhere!" Konohamaru shouted, with all the ungraceful obnoxious idiocy that Naruto has.
"Hn." Was Sasuke's only reply.
"Well, fuck you too, Uchiha!" Sasuke ignored Naruto's-little-wanna-be. "Sas-UKE! Sasu-GAY! Sa-" Konohamaru was hit on the head with a stone thrown by Moegi, effectively silencing him.
"Konohamaru-kun, that's not a nice thing to say about Uchiha-san!" she scolded. Konohamaru stuck his tongue out at said Uchiha.
"I bet it's true though. He might as well go propose to Naruto-nii- chan the way he's always-" Sasuke didn't stick around to listen more. The brat just gave him an idea.
…
Naruto was dead-tired. He had been reading, and trying to understand the instructions that Karin had given him for the Hiraishin that she got when with Orochimaru (how she got to Oto and back so fast, he'll never know). The blonde was so tired Itachi, Sakura and Karin (Hinata was still unconscious) took advantage of this situation and started asking him embarrassing questions.
"Do you still wet the bed?" Karin asked.
"Yeah." Was Naruto's uncommitted answer. A drop of saliva threatened to escape his lips as his head was supported on the arm of his couch.
"Do you read Icha Icha?" asked Sakura.
"Yeah."
"Do you masturbate sometimes?" asked Karin.
"Yeah."
"Do you have a small dick?" asked Sai, who mysteriously plopped down from the ceiling.
"Yeah."
"Are you gay?" asked Yahiko, who entered the room through the window.
"Yeah." Everyone snickered at this.
"Do you want to get into Sasuke's pants?" asked Itachi.
"Yeah." Everyone except Itachi was trying to contain their laughter.
Suddenly Sasuke rammed through the wall into the room. He walked towards Naruto in a graceful manner as if he didn't just create a gaping hole in the jinchuuriki's living room while everyone else watched him in shock. Sasuke got down on one knee in front of Naruto and held out an opened red velvet box with a diamond engagement ring embedded in it.
"Naruto Uzumaki, will you marry me?" Sasuke demanded more than asked. Naruto, still out of it, had not entirely listened to the younger Uchiha.
"Yeah." Almost immediately, Sasuke swooped Naruto into his arms, carrying him bridal style. This woke Naruto up a little. "Hewy, ho, wha-? What? What's going on? What did I just agree to?!"
"The wedding takes place next week!" Sasuke announced. "You are ALL invited!" and Sasuke jumped out the window, his new fiancé in his arms. Everyone stood in shell-shocked silence, staring at the window where they last saw the birthday boy. Yahiko broke the silence.
"Well, if he wasn't gay before, he is now." He stated, and everyone else nodded.
…
AN
So, like it? Love it? Review please! And thanks for reading! :D
DoGB