This randomly popped into my head, and I thought I would share it with you all. Enjoy!
Gilan slammed the door of his cabin, tears in his eyes. Life is so unfair, he thought. He heard heavy footsteps on his porch, immediately followed by pounding at the door. "Gilan, please! Can't we just, just talk?"
He didn't open the door, he didn't want to face her.
"Please, please open up. I'm begging you!" He couldn't stand the pain in her voice. He wanted desperately to open the door, to hold her in his arms and shut out the world. To make all the pain go away. But he was the one causing it. "Why are you doing this, I don't understand. Can't you at least tell me why?"
Unable to bear it any longer, he threw it open, to face the worst sight of his life. Worse than any war, worse than the time he realized he had abandoned Will to death. Her eyes were red, her face tear streaked. He could see small cuts where branches had cut her when he ran. Her whole body was shaking from the confusion, the deceit, and the pain of it all.
He had done it to her.
They stood there facing each other, neither saying a word. Seeing the look in her eyes, one of hurt, question, and a tiny bit of fear, he nearly broke down. He wished he could run away with her, away from life, from people, from the agonizing truth of what he had to do. But he couldn't. He had to do this, and it killed him to.
Swallowing his emotions as best he could, he looked into her eyes, and said, "You know why." His voice was stone cold, it took her aback. "I've lost interest. You're boring to me now." His words cut her like a whip.
But he couldn't pull it off completely. She sensed the weakness in his voice, telling her something wasn't quite right. Meeting his gaze, she said "I don't understand. First, you seem to ignore me totally. Then, you're all over me. Next you say we will never work, but you make me fall hopelessly for you. Why can't you just make up your mind?"
He wanted so badly to tell her the truth, but he couldn't. He really hated Crowley right now. Him and his stupid orders, for whats best. Will probably won't talk to him for a year, and Gilan wouldn't blame him if he never even looked at him again for doing this. But he had to. "Well, you don't have to worry anymore, because I have. Here's what I've decided. I don't need or want you." There was almost no turning back now. But he couldn't stop at almost. "To tell you the truth, I never really liked you." She nearly stopped breathing at that. "This whole thing has been a joke."
"Wh-what?"
"Of course, me and the boys have been laughing this whole time. To think I'd actually like someone like you."
That did it. That broke her heart into a million pieces and sent them flying in all different directions. She couldn't even speak. All she did has look at him one last time, and then run. He watched her run down the road, crying silently the whole time. When she disappeared around a bend, he sunk down to the ground, cradling his head in his arms. He just took the most beautiful, sweet, devoted woman in the world and turned he into someone who probably wouldn't get out of bed for a week.
He hated his job, it forced him to be alone. He hated Crowley, for ordering him to do so. But most of all, he hated himself. He hated himself for crushing the best thing that ever happened to him. For letting himself fall so deeply for someone, then making a joke out of everything they had loved. He was a monster.
"I'm sorry Jenny," he whispered out into the night. "I'm sorry."