This is my first fan fiction so I must warn you, I'm going to be writing a pretty crazy story involving Naruto as the uke and Sasuke as the seme. There will be graphic sex and some other crazy shit happening for the hell of it. I'm putting all of my crazy ideas into this fic, so be prepared to be surprised- the pace will change and the mood will change. Sometimes it'll be happy, sometimes romantic, sometimes angsty, sometimes tragic. And sometimes Naruto will act like a princess and sometimes he'll be as manly as fuck. Same goes with Sasuke. And other characters may be OOC.

If you're good with that, then read on and review!

Naruto fell back on his bed. It was certainly tough, being sixteen, friendless and all alone in an empty apartment building. He looked outside his window for a better view of his new surroundings, taking note of just how the close the building were together. It was definitely different to Hokkaido, Hokkaido with its beaches and warm climate. Then again, Tokyo was a lot further south, bustling with people too, but it still felt lonely. Mountains of boxes littered the apartment, most with ludicrous amounts of cup ramen to last a year or two and others with simple reminders of the very few happy moments in his life. He shook his head, sighing, as he let the rest of his procrastination fade and proceeded to unpack.

It was not often that Naruto regretted things, but at this moment he felt a sudden urge to go back. He had even lasted the past week without talking to someone, which was saying something considering he was known as the most loud and annoying person alive at his old school. He even felt a pang of sadness at the thought of his previous school, the one he vaguely remembered to have loathed for the past three years of his life. Tomorrow he would start at a new high school, an all boys' high school, one of those prestigious ones. It was certainly a miracle considering he was not particularly bright and had previously pondered owning a street vendor for the rest of his life. Ramen. That's what he'd sell- lots and lots of it.

Naruto sighed once more, falling into a state of disbelief. He didn't realize that coming to terms with change would be so difficult, but then again he had never coped well with change. He hadn't coped well with his parents' death- having only understood that they where somewhere he couldn't reach. It had left him frustrated, lonely and without aim. He liked going to the same arcade, ramen shop and various other places back home so Tokyo was definitely going take a while to get used to. He looked toward his only source of comfort, hiding in a large brown box. A small smile tugged at his lips as he proceeded to boil the kettle and pull out a container of cup ramen from the box. This was the only bliss he would experience for a while.

He then sauntered into the shower, wishing nothing more than to fall asleep and never wake up. Lathering shampoo into his hair, he reached for the soap, wrestling to keep the bar within his grip. The soap dropped from his hands, and he stupidly slipped on it, yelping as his butt hit the floor. Great, he thought. Naruto Uzumaki dies from slipping in the shower. Bummer.Rubbing his sore ass, he somehow knew the next day was not going to be good. His butt hurt really badly for one, but more importantly, he just wasn't ready to face anyone yet.

This sucks. Naruto huffed. He was standing at the entrance of his new school. Great...I have to go to this kind of school..He thought, irritated. It was definitely a prestigious school, the tall wrought iron gates said all. And all because of a stupid high school entrance exam. I should probably be grateful though, being here has to be better than Hokkaido. He sighed once again, and felt himself being pushed by a sudden rush of students into his new school. All male. By the time the stampede had left him, Naruto found himself face flat on the ground with his head spinning endlessly.

"You need a hand?" A gentle voice called, followed by the most charming laugh he had heard in a while. It has to be, he thought, a sexy short-skirted, strawberry panty wearing hottie. He quickly rose to his feet, brushing himself as clean as he could, before locking eyes with the goddess.

"I'm fine thank y-". short hair? boys uniform? a beautiful smile on a...boy?

"I'm Sai", the boy pronounced, still smiling as he extended his arm to Naruto.

"Naruto." he stated bluntly as he shook Sai's hand. Of course, this is a freaking boys' school! He remembered.

"Is something wrong?" Sai asked innocently. Naruto sighed once more; clearly disappointment loved his face too much. Pushing the thought of himself in a harem of big-chested girls out of his mind, he half smiled.

"No nothing."

Sai smirked, "Okay", almost as if he knew what Naruto was thinking. "Hey do you wanna know something?"

"What?"

"I know you just checked me out then."

"What?" Naruto growled, sure he might have looked him up and down but he was another guy for god's sake, it should have been obvious that it meant nothing. Besides, it's not my fault he sounds and almost looks like a girl.

Sai's wind chime laughter sounded again, "Don't worry", he said and suddenly pushed Naruto up against a building wall, "It turns me on". Naruto could feel the roughness of the brick wall against his back as he tried to process what was happening. Sai's face became dangerously close to Naruto's, his tongue flitted between his pink lips and just as he leaned in closer, Naruto pushed him back roughly, breathing hard as he realized the perils of the situation. His shock and surprise was mixed with anger and disgust as he turned away, slightly embarrassed, but before any words could be exchanged, there was a message from the principal.

"Will all students please move to the hall, assembly will commence in 5 minutes"

Naruto looked back at Sai and saw nothing but content on his face, "See you around, Homophobia", he joked as he walked away.

Homophobia? I'm not homophobic! It was just freaking weird! What the hell is wrong with that guy? Naruto frowned, as he followed Sai to the hall. He made a point to sit among other students.

"And now I'd like to call upon, the highest achieving student of this years intake- Uchiha Sasuke" An old man's voice sounded throughout the hall.

Che, sounds like a total nerd, Naruto smirked, only to be contradicted by the whispers behind him.

'I heard he's the guy that steals everyone's girlfriend!'

'Really? Smart and gets all the girls'

'Yeah, someone saw him kissing their girlfriend!'

'Ugh, guess I couldn't blame him though, who wouldn't take advantage of a hot girl?'

'Not to mention that he's super rich too.' Sai's voice sounded, as he took the empty next to Naruto.

'What the hell are you doing here?' Naruto half-shouted before being shushed by the people around him.

He frowned, what the hell kind of a guy is this Sasuke person? His question was answered not long after, when a figure stepped on the stage. Naruto's eyes widened, he was extremely good looking, black hair and penetrating eyes. It was so unfair how all boys inevitably always lost girls to that kind of guy.

It didn't make sense though, how could a good-looking guy be both smart and rich? Life was too unfair; he was the exact opposite of Naruto. Naruto sank lower into his seat; his life here certainly couldn't get any worse than this, right?

"He's hot." Sai interrupted his thoughts. "I mean I heard he was good-looking but man, that guy could charm the pants off of any girl, hell even I'd take off-"

"You do realize he's a guy right?"

"Yeah, I sure hope so."

"But then..that means you're...gay?" Naruto choked out the last word.

"Oh yeah, forgot you were homophobic" Sai chuckled girlishly, so much so that even Naruto thought he might be a girl in disguise.

"No I just...it's just weird...I don't know any gay people or whatever. "

"You better wake up 'Homophobia', or you might see something shocking", and with that Sai stood up to leave, marking the end of the assembly.

Shocking?... Naruto thought, confused, as he followed all the boys rushing to get out of the hall. He felt suffocated, with the bodies of thousands of students roughly pushing past him. If everyone here were a girl, I'd probably experience a nosebleed a million times at the closeness! Naruto lamented. Tch! Naruto whispered harshly, at the feeling of someone possibly grabbing his ass. Things can only up from here right?

He brushed non-existent dirt off of his new uniform and prepared himself for the worst. Everyone here has someone they know from middle school, I don't have anyone...it's middle school all over again...only loneliness. No hotties I could ogle at, Naruto sighed. He walked to his first class, hoping at least someone might take the trouble to get to know him. Save for that Sai guy- he was weird. Naruto shuddered.

Naruto observed his classmates. No Sai! Except...there's that Sasuke guy... Naruto looked him up and down, there was no doubt about it- he was the epitome of a god in every girl's eyes. Staring out the window, with an expression to fit, absolutely indifferent. How the hell am I going to get a girl with that guy around? The other boys were seemingly normal, Naruto decided, but a lot of them appeared to be observing Naruto. He blushed slightly at the attention. What the heck? Naruto swore, whipping his head to the front, did someone just lick their lips at me?. He shook his head, meeting Sai must have made me a little crazy, he reasoned. A man then walked in, with sliver hair and a blue mask covering half his face.

Is it just me or is everyone here on crack? Naruto thought, at the sight of his weird teacher, who apparently appeared normal to everyone else. Nobody seemed to regard him with the wide-eyed look Naruto was giving him.

'The name's Kakashi Hatake, as many of you already know. You may call me Kakashi. Not 'Hatake sensei', not 'Kakashi-chan' as one brave young man dared to say before he got his ass kicked, just Kakashi.' The silver-haired man then proceeded to sit down at his desk, stretching his legs over the table top, and began to read 'Icha Icha Paradise', whose contents were known to all except Naruto.

The class remained silent, staring at their teacher. Sasuke sighed and began to pull out his math textbook. Everyone else then began to make other noises of discontent, rustling paper, screeching chairs and creaking tables as some assumed a sleeping position. Then someone began to snore loudly.

'What?', Kakashi shouted loudly, to his justifiably annoyed class.

'Oh yeah, I forgot to introduce the new student!', he exclaimed excitedly, changing almost instantly from his previously angered self. He then suddenly appeared at Naruto's side, noticeably grinning madly despite his mask, and dragged him to the front of the classroom. 'This here is….', he scratched his head.

'Naruto.', Naruto answered, annoyed.

'Isn't that a kind of food?', Kakashi whispered loudly to which Naruto frowned. 'Never mind. This is Naruto! I trust you will all make him feel welcome!', He said cheerfully, and then pushed Naruto forward. 'Now get back to your seat.' his voice suddenly resumed its monotony. 'Everyone pull out your textbooks and read chapter twenty-five for the rest of the lesson, I expect a one page report tomorrow'. Everyone inadvertently groaned and began to read their textbooks as Kakashi returned to his novel. At this point, Naruto was sure of what it was about, after all Kakashi's lecherous eyes appeared to move quickly across the pages.

Pervert! Naruto huffed, and then began to read his textbook. Ugh English? My worst subject...After what seemed like hours, a bell signalling recess and evidently a rush of boys, sounded. At least this time, he knew enough to wait, watching patiently as Sasuke became the last person to the door. Naruto watched his figure disappear, as he walked outside to join everyone else. Something about that boy bothered him a lot, but he just didn't know what it was.

He found himself a bench outside and began to unpack the obento he had proudly made himself. Sitting alone was not uncanny, in fact, he was so used to it that a voice next to him made him jump so much that he dropped his obento.

"You've been staring at Sasuke for a while now..."

"Jeez, thanks Sai, now I've got nothing to eat! And no I have not been staring at Sasuke!"

"Really? Because by my calculations, you were captivated by him for more than 3 and a half minutes"

"Do you not have any friends? Is that why you're here?"

"I do, but clearly you don't"

"And you're not going to change that, so you'd better head back to wherever you came from."

Sai sighed, and took a seat next to Naruto. "I'm not trying to be your friend, rather I'm doing you a favor. You're pretty good-looking you know-'

"Wow, things must have really changed since middle school- and please stop hitting on me, it's really creeping me out"

"I'm not trying to hit on you, rather, I'm trying to inform you of the people who are. For someone as homophobic as you, this really isn't going to be easy, but you'd better keep guard"

"I'm not homophobic!"

"So says the boy who's been edging away from me in the past five minutes. Oh and you'd better stop staring at Sasuke, he gives anybody who looks at him the death stare."

"He stared at me first", Naruto muttered under his breath.

"Just be careful or you never know what could happen"

"What the hell-", Naruto began to reply before he felt something wet slide across against his cheek, and then saw Sai's tongue retreat back into his mouth from the corner of his eye. "Gross! The heck did you lick me for?" Naruto cried, madly wiping the saliva off of his face.

"See ya" Sai said, before getting up to walk away.

Still busy wiping saliva off of his face, Naruto noticed that Sasuke was still staring at him, glaring, as if Naruto's mere presence was in itself a nuisance. What the heck's up with that?Naruto thought, angrily. Unknown to him, though, Sasuke was merely sizing him up which usually included an intense glare and some serious thought. Naruto was certainly a character, his bright blonde hair clearly differentiated him from anyone else. However, more than that, Sasuke could detect some unmistakable idiocy emanating from him. As if it were possibly to emanate idiocy, Sasuke rolled his eyes, but he seriously couldn't understand how someone like him could have possibly passed the entrance exam and entered Konoha Boys' High School.

He continued to watch Naruto, as he hopelessly tipped his bottle of water over himself, trying to pick up the remnants of his obento and put it in the bin. Crap! Naruto cursed, unaware of the dark-haired boy sniggering at the sight of him.

What an idiot, Sasuke smiled, and then headed to his next class when the bell rang. Today is going to be interesting, he thought, knowing full well that Naruto was really unlucky to have found himself at Konoha Boys' High School.

"Yo!" Shikamaru waved a hand at Sasuke as he took his place beside him inside their classroom. Sasuke glanced at his only friend, simply acknowledging his presence.

"Che...uptight as usual", Shikamaru smiled somewhat grimly as he laid his head on his desk.

"You see the new kid yet?", Sasuke said, initiating the conversation for the first time.

"Blondie? Yeah he's caused quite a bit of a trouble among the boys. They're trying to decide who'll take him out first."

"Hah. He won't last two weeks after that"

"Yeah? Wanna bet? I say five, loser has to become a slave for a day"

"Yeah alright. Not only that but he's as stupid as hell". As if on cue, Naruto walked in beaming, making his way to his desk before subsequently tripping over Shikamaru's outstretched foot. He scrambled to his feet, face bright red.

"Oi! What the hell do you think you're playing at?", he shouted. Shikamaru simply stared up at him, then stood up and lifted Naruto's chin up. "Hey!-"

"You've got some rice on your face", Shikamaru said calmly and used his finger to swipe at Naruto's mouth and then spontaneously licked his finger. "Onigiri", He said nonchalantly.

"Ehhhh?" Naruto shouted. "What the hell do you think you're doing pervert?", he rubbed his mouth hard as if it had been dirtied and ran to his seat. What the hell is up with these people?

"You didn't have to do that you know", Sasuke said, evidently bored.

"At least now we know he's heterosexual. Damn I feel sorry for him" Shikamaru said as he sat down and put his hands up behind his head.

"All right class", a booming voice suddenly said, "My name is Might Gai and you, my young and youthful energetic boys, may address me as Gai-sensei. Ah never a better time to see such happy youths in the midst of their flowering, you will all become fine adults. But to help you along the way, we are going to start this term with a two-week trip to Atami! Now I know most of you have chosen your roommate but is Uchiha Sasuke here?"

"Yes", Sasuke replied.

"You my dear lad have not yet chosen your partner!"

"Ah well..."

"Might I suggest Naruto, here? He is new after all and could use your guidance!". Naruto's head jerked up.

"I guess..?" Sasuke answered.

"Well then! That's settled. Any questions?"

Can I go and kill myself now? Naruto thought bitterly. Great, I get to spend two weeks with a douche bag.

Japanese references:

Obento- Japanese style lunch Box

Onigiri- Japanese Rice ball

Atami- City in Shizuoka Prefecture known for its hot springs.