Warped
He was so tired, so tired of the game they made him play. They had constructed a false image, drawing him further into his own self. He stayed strong, pretending to be the one they thought he was, smiling triumphantly even as countless camera flashes blinded momentarily and left dizziness and colorful splashes across his vision, almost like the cases he forced himself to solve.
For fun, it had started, but he was too sloppy. Let someone see past his facade and let her into his life. However, she was inevitably tainted once more by THEM and their perfection. And even she lost sight of the true him.
It was like looking at people and seeing either a perfected mirror, or a funhouse reflection of himself, twisted and bludgeoned into something not even remotely resembling humanity. And it scared him.
And he died inside, and the outside grew inside as well. The 'true' version of him was banished to the recesses of his dark, cursed mind, and he came to believe himself to be the arrogant, manly, utterly fearless and heroic high school detective Kudo Shinichi.
-\
There was a strong gnawing at his heart that night, the night that had changed him as he knew himself. The mirror broke. Now, when he saw himself as the flawless, warped Kudo Shinichi, the world saw him as the clumsy eight-year old prodigy, Edogawa Conan.
And he hated that. But he eventually came to realize that he could finally let loose, partaking in behaviour that would have ruined his reputation if all was as it was 'supposed' to be.
Shinichi had eventually used his flawed, broken methods of deduction to come up with an imperfect, beautiful truth.
His 'true' self was returning. Every minute spent as Edogawa Conan was both a curse and like a well-earned vacation.
Haibara had dubbed his tendency to talk about himself as 'Multiple-Personality Syndrome'. She had taken him to a hospital, where they had peered down at him with such worried eyes that he laughed. He was so normal, it was almost like they weren't close to human, like the effect of a broken mirror.
They were shocked when he laughed, shaking and saying he was mentally ill. Hah! What nonsense!
-\
But in all honesty, Kaito Kid was the only one who really noticed the suffering. The blank, empty eyes the child would get when he sat at school and dutifully took notes.
The darkness behind the shiny, innocent eyes he put on when telling the police how to solve a case.
The creasing of the place between his eyebrows, where frustration and despair would only make itself known through screaming into pillows, drowning out his breath and when he saw a small blade, small enough to fit in his hand, and imagined the possiblities.
-\
A/N: Wow, I was really angsty today. Started from staring at green from the bus window and at people's hair. Odd, yes. And I needed a vent. And I'm REALLY sorry, I'm going to be gone this weekend, so I can't update…so hopefully you'll see more on Monday or something.
Bye!
This is a weird way to make uke Shinichi. His 'true' self is self-concious, shy, adorable and childlike, just FYI.