Dedicated to My Girls, you are my darlings! And I am using a term in this story Moni had copyright on but I figured she would let me borrow it for this one!

Also in general a huge thank you to Moni for helping me with this one!

Also spoilers from stuff is included. And the story has an M-rated part that can easily be skipped if it is not your thing... the story is just as good without ;-)

I don't own the good wife or this would happen sooner or later in the show! And I don't own the song.

And I need you now tonight and I need you more than ever
And if you only hold me tight We'll be holding on forever
And we'll only be making it right 'cause we'll never be wrong
Together we can take it to the end of the line
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time (all of the time)
I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark
We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks
I really need you tonight, forever's gonna start tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight

Total Eclipse Of The Heart

I curse as I see my flat tire. That is so not what I need right now. The rain is already soaking my jacket and I regret leaving my coat back in the office as I rushed to court. Especially when my shirt starts sticking to me, clinging to my skin. My heels will be destroyed before I get the tire changed and into the car, and my suit as well. Just not what I need. Even worse would be if anyone actually saw me right now. With anyone I of course mean Will. He would have a field day seeing me looking like a drowned mouse right now. The next second I hear the laughter behind me. And don't even need to turn around to figure out it is exactly what has happened. I try to ignore it, ignore him. Like we usually do these days unless we are trying to kill the other in court, or undercut the other, or staring the other down. Pretending the other is not existing is what we try. At least I try to do that and I think he does as well. I open the back of my car and start looking for the back up tire. Not able to find it I curse low. And I can still hear his laughter behind me. Why hasn't he left me yet? That would a human thing to do. To not enjoy my humiliation. But that is right these days Will and I never really do much of anything normal human caring beings would do toward the other. So that he is taking pleasure in seeing my humiliation shouldn't surprise me, I should have expected it. The umbrella suddenly being held over me is actually more of a shock than his mocking laughter. I manage to snicker thank you. Realizing that I might have preferred the mocking laughter of him rather than this fake civility. Because the laughter I can wrap my head around, this I can't.

I keep looking for the extra tire while I slowly realize I won't be finding one. That I really have been driving around without a back up tire.

I sigh deeply and pull back. I can just as well give up and get a cab. The wind blowing over the ground have me shivering in chills.

"No extra tire?" He finally ask me, his voice seemed laced with something I can't decide if is sarcasm and mock or he is really being genuine with me. I take a deep breath calming my nerves as I turn around to face him. Our eyes meet, I can feel he is still having fun on my account for my lack of luck. Though there is something else in his gaze as well something I can't define. Something that scares the hell out of me. It unsettles me and I don't like that. Fighting with him is easier than being unsettled. Being unsettled means remembering how deep in my blood he is. Of how we only came on this path because I couldn't wrap my head around loving him and see a way out of the whole mess. Of how I still fantasize of his hands sliding over my body as he makes me bend to his pleasure and my own. Of how I most of the time wish everyone else gone from the courtroom so he could have me like I want. That our hate and passion could all collide. It means remembering the dreams I try to suppress in the daylight. It means I need to go to Peter's office once more to get a release, just like it often is the case after fighting Will in court. But right now it is more. Anger means I can have sex where I don't need to think with Peter, this, his eyes now. They are making me want to curl up on my bed and cry my heart out. I love him, I love this man standing before me, I love him then he hates me, for betraying him. I love him then we tear each other apart. I love him then I fight him and undercut everything he says or does in court. I love him then I lay exhausted in bed at night, haunted by images of his hands, lips and body tearing into me. I love him then I wake up panting from yet another dream in need of immediate release either by my hands or if by lucky or maybe unlucky occasions I had let Peter sleep over he can be the one to give me my release. I love him then after having torn into each other I go and screw Peter, with Will's name always on the tip of my tongue longing to slip out as his image play for my inner eye.

"Mrs Florrick?" He pulls me from my thoughts with the name I hate more than anything. Never have I hated my married name more than after Will started to call me that. Not even then the name meant all of the media attention, as nothing has ever cut deeper than the name spit out like poison against me from Will's lips. Lips I wish were on my neck instead, making me as his and not my husband's like the name does.

I try to concentrate on the present moment. The moment where I am married to a guy that is helping me get clients and build my firm. The moment where I am fighting with Will and there is no chance of feeling his breath on my skin as he makes me come apart. The moment where he doesn't love me anymore. A thought that always have me freezing and shivering even then I am the warmest, even when I am lying in Peter's arms, and now while already cold it feels like I might get frostbites.

"Yes, I don't. Thank you for the kindness of the umbrella. I will go call a cab now." I answer him remembering his question about if there were no spare tire. He looks at me for a second longer, in that weird way, before his eyes turns back to their usually cold hatred for me, and he nods. As he pulls the umbrella back so it doesn't cover me anymore and I feel rain soak me again, chilling me terribly I am close to coming undone. I am close to dropping my independence and strong non-caring attitude and beg him to wait with the umbrella while I call. But I don't and he has already turned on his heel and is walking away. I slap the back of the car hard and start running back up to the court building, where I can hope to already find a cab, so I don't need to wait in rush hour. It isn't the case. And I sigh as I start to pull my phone out. I will probably catch a cold from the wet clothes and the wind. As I stand there dialing, his car stops in front of me on the road. I wonder for a brief second if he really hates me that much so he wants to enjoy my misery a bit more. However the next second he had rolled down passenger side window.

"Get in." Is all he says, I take a second to hesitate but I also know the time where he will wait around to convince me of such is long gone. If I don't hurry up he will drive away. So I get in, the seat will be wet from my clothes. But the warmth of the car is like send from heaven. He stares at me for a second while I put on the seat belt, before turning up the heat a little bit more. I am not sure what to say. What to tell him, what to do. I know I need to say something I really do. I mean he stopped and took me up though he surely didn't need to.

"Thank you for this" Is what I settle on, even the words sounds stupid in my ears. And I am sure in his as well.

"If you got ill I would risk getting a reschedule of the case. As I doubt you would let Cary or Carey argue it, and your firm doesn't really have anyone else competent enough to do it..." He answers, he sneers the "your firm" at me. And each word is like a stab at me. I know fully well he is right. We don't have the best of lawyers, many of those we have are like kids in a candy store more than adults knowing what to do. Nevertheless does it set me off. How dare he criticizes me and my firm? It is not like his is perfect, if it had been, my followers would never have left in the first place.

"I'll have to do the same for you next time, then. We both know Diane wouldn't touch a case like this with a ten foot pole and who else do you have that has a shot of going toe to toe with me? I have seen David Lee out of family court and let me tell you, the sneer is worse than his bite." I hiss at him. It is a low blow, just like most we throw these days, just like the one I threw in their face after David Lee dared calling me Judas. I notice how he stiffens and I know he wouldn't accept my low blow, but have a comeback. Just like he always does, playing hardball with me. Though he for a few seconds still seem to be reeling from my jab at him.

"At least we have someone like David Lee that actually brings in money, and is making sure that also this year ends with profit. Oh and our holiday party is already so fully-booked that we have ordered extra catering. Something I am not sure you can say for yourself, Mrs. Florrick." He hissed at me. This time making me flinch. That wasn't the come back I expected. Also I wondered how in the world he knew about the holiday party, and the profit. He shouldn't know. I tried to run over in my mind how he could. They hadn't spied through my laptop as we once thought, but maybe they did have a mole inside our firm. I wouldn't put it past him.

"And how in the world would you know that? Have you really gone that low you have a mole inside my firm?" I hiss angrily at him. The thought that he would actually do that hurts. It hurts more than the words, spewed at each other. It hurts more than my limbs getting warm again. However it still doesn't hurt as much as losing him did. Of how he could go from warm to me and looking at me that special way to hate me and looking at me as I am nothing but the enemy needing to be destroyed and crumbled. Like I was just gum under his shoe.

He snorts at me.

"You really thought those would stay loyal to you Mrs. Florrick? They are like hyenas wanting what are best for themselves... and your firm my dear is not that... your firm seems to have already needed financial guidance... will you even over come new year with profit?" He hisses at me. And I feel shaken once again.

"So you decided to swoop in and steal them back and have them spy on us? You are a bastard!" I hiss at him, and he actually dares to laugh at me.

" I might be a bastard but at least I am loyal to those I call my friends. Don't be so full of yourself Mrs. Florrick, it doesn't suit you my dear... I didn't make them do anything... You however must really be a good at management if they are already plotting against you... I would have given you six months originally but I clearly overestimated you, then you couldn't even do two..." He answers, and I know he is mocking me, and I feel awful.

Like I didn't know already it was going terrible. Those with me and Cary acting more like kids in kindergarten than grown up lawyers. And he is right I know they are already plotting against us, disagreeing with us. With me in particular, I shouldn't be surprised one if not more had gone to Will with inside information, wanting their old job back. I am also not stupid enough to guess he took them in. He took the information from them and I am sure he played them with it. I am also not stupid enough to think that secured their loyalty to me, it might have made them stay for now but they will be going behind my back again. I will need Robyn to find out who it is, as I doubt Will is going to tell me.

"And you used them? I assume you didn't even take them on after so for now they are loyal to me again?" I ask him in a hiss.

"Of course. What would I need people willing to sell out their firm for? I already had enough of them for a life time with you. I am grateful for the information they gave me though. And made sure to send invitations to all the clients that declined joining your merry little holiday arrangement. And you know what, many of them accepted and in addition said they might be interested in switching back." He answers me in a cold calm voice that freezes me.

"You did what? You are approaching our clients?" I hiss at him in shock, I really need to get hold on Cary. I need to find out which one it is possible he is making a play for.

"Don't make such a fuss Mrs. Florrick. You should know by now pay back is a bitch. And your own play for my clients would come back to bit you in the ass at some point." He answers me, and the way he is still calm but cold lets me know he fully well knows he has the upper hand, and that angers me. I have tried to keep it low and cold but this upsets me more.

"How dare you! We will destroy you, and then we will take the rest of your clients and lawyers, just for lesser pay. We will take every client... and we will show you what it was we did then we worked our asses for you while you just shined on your lauder, oh that is right. You didn't even do that, you were too busy bribing judges and stealing money from client accounts... Something you told the clients I did..." I am angry at him even more because he has unsettled me.

He flinch for a moment and it makes me glad that at least I found one attack at him.

"And h ow will you do that? Since you can't even manage a firm with 10 lawyers how in the world would you manage to run one with 300 lawyers? I guess I should actually thank you for having the decency to leave and spare my firm and me the horrors of your management skills as if you really had gotten the job as my partner instead of Diane I would probably be back in bankruptcy court thanked to you. And let's not even talk about the clients that don't even want to show up to your holiday party. And do you have any clients that aren't only still with you because of your husband?"

He answers me unsettling again the words and truths that I hate more than anything, because he is right. He is completely right. I hate it but it is the truth. I would have no idea how to run 300 employees, and our clients are about Peter more than anything. Even now with the upcoming party I am fighting with Cary and Carey that want me to invite Peter to the party so the clients will come. I have said no over and over but it doesn't change how they keep asking, since it seems like the only thing that would make more show up.

"At least I listen to them, my employees, and my clients. I don't waste extra money keeping equity partners, the silly ones, like Howard Lyman on, that just takes the money but does nothing. And I don't take back partnership offers and runs the firm like a dictator, or offers extra partnerships just because I need money." I answer him. And I can see I have gotten to him this time. That I actually managed to give a real blow now.

"You really hate my management style that much I should probably never have given you a job, in the first place, one that helped you get back on your feet since you clearly never appreciated it. Maybe it is good you are starting your own firm, as long as you don't come crying to me when you realizes how many compromises you have to make. Oh but you are already making those aren't you? Didn't you always have a problem with our clients, and yet you made a play for Bishop, and got Chum-Hum only because of Peter, and how he eased the laws to make it better for them? Also didn't you always hate representing those internet firms and the likes? You should get off your high heels Alicia and see that you are doing exactly the same you say, you dislike me that much for doing." He hisses back. I feel stalled not so much because of all he said, which damn him is true, but because it is the first time he called me Alicia in months.

"Pull the car over..." I hiss at him, I am angry my blood is boiling and I am seeing red. The fact that he used Alicia now has pushed me over the edge completely.

"Sure, madam if you prefer to walk in the rain I am done helping you, even a continuance is better than spending more time with you and your lies rolling off your silver tongue..." He answers, as he pulls over to the side of the road clearly expecting me to get out of the car. I doesn't, I do snap my seat belt open and shrug out of my suit jacket before in a matter of seconds moving over so I straddle Will's lap. He is in shock staring up at me. This was clearly not what he expected. And I know he might very well reject me as I lean into kiss him. Something his does, turning his head so my lips lands on his cheek. However he is moving the seat back and his own lips are finding my neck, and the hollow between my ear and throat where he sucks on the skin enough to make me groan and moan deeply. I know he will be leaving a mark but I don't care. I kiss his face, teeth, lips, hands on it. It doesn't matter anymore. Words are falling from my lips, from his lips groans and moans of how he hate me, how I hate him. How I wish him to hell, how he sends me there, mixed with pleads, and confessions of how I love him, how he hates that he loves me. It is not said as the romantic declarations it should have deserved. It is more about anger and wishes of how it not to be true. At least from his side.

The only thing he won't allow is for me to kiss him, for real, though I am dying to. I want to kiss him, to convey to him that my love isn't about hate, but I really do love him even though I wish I didn't as if I didn't love him everything would be easier. However each time my lips seeks his, he moves his head. I get it, a kiss is something shared between lovers, it is intimate and emotional, and though I am a mess of emotions, this is just as much about anger and hate than about my undeniable love for him. A kiss is what send us down the rabbit hole once. It is what had me set out on this path. Because each kiss we shared confirmed I couldn't stay away from him. That I am magnetically pulled to him and can't stay away. Well something our fighting apparently is confirming as well. His hands are pulling me closer against him, and I press myself up against him, feeling his hands on my back through my wet shirt.

M-rated part

He pushes my skirt up and out of the way, ripping the lace between my legs to the side. I am fumbling with his pants trying to get them open. Something I finally manage. He steadies me one hand on my hip as I lift up enough so he can push them down and free his erection. I curl my hand around it, stroking it slowly, taking in the smooth nature. God he is big, I have almost forgotten how big. Two years apparently can erase some memories like this one. His hands are steadying me and I seek his lips in an other attempt but with same result. So I settle for pressing kisses to his face. He grips my hips, and pulls me a little forward, and straddled me right over his waiting erection. His tip now in complete place. He pulls me down hard as he arches his hips. In he slides, up, up, up. And suddenly I am filled to the brim with his incredibly hard flesh, making me throw back my head in a deep moan. He sucks on the skin of my throat, nibbling at the lop of my ear. I gasp loudly as he slides in a little deeper.

Long and loud, he groans. And still he kept tunneling into me, steady and deep until I could swear I can feel him at my tonsils. Sex this way definitely maximized the penetration. Above him, I whimper, and clench, my thighs tightening to stop him from sinking deeper inside. It is too much. I shouldn't be out of practice but I am when it comes to him. He is stretching me to my very limit, and I feel like I am on the edge.

He urges me a bit more down on his erection while he sucks and bites on my neck, and my shoulder making me groan out loud. Before I can even starts to move myself, his fingers delved back into my wet folds, honing in on my begging clit.

He presses home in me filing and pulling me the last inch down on him as he also presses on my clit. My cries turns into a groan and a plea as Will grounds against a sensitive spot deep inside me. His fingers teases my other sensitive spot with a flick. He is shoving me closer and closer to a heaven of bliss. Before he suddenly withdraw completely like a synchronized stunt show.

"Harder. Now. More!" I gasp needing more of this pleasure, this insane torture. I am finally with him again letting him give my body what it needs, I need it all this time. Well knowing it might never happen again, and he will by the end have ruined me for anyone else.

I notice how Will is gritting his teeth, as he enters me again, quickly filling me, a torturous drag of the head of his erection over my g-spot. I gasps, and dig my fingers into his shirt for support and I have never been more thankful for his anchoring arm around my waist as the sensations took me breathlessly upward. Then I rock deeply into ecstasy, soaring and breathless, it feels like I am seeing white and am about to pass out. I shudder, my body clenching at Will still buried hard and deep inside me while my pleasure pulse through me, spreading through my body like a potent shot of pure alcohol, or a fire having caught into old dry wood. God, I am tired, I am lost, I am helpless. But the drive of a hard male erection inside me all the way against my cervix brings me back to the moment with a moan. Will grits his teeth and gripes my hips even harder. He isn't done, far form. He is still hard and full inside me.

Tossing my head back and baring my throat to him, he takes full advantage of it, nipping his way up my neck to tug on my lobe with his teeth and breathe shivers over my shoulder.

He pushes me hard down on him again and I wrap my arms tightly around his shoulders for support as he fucks me hard and deep again and again. The head of his erection hitting a sensitive and sore spot inside me time after time, until I once more find myself screaming and clenching around him. He keeps pushing into me pumping his hips against me as he follows me over the edge this time. Filling me with every drop of his release, while I cry out his name in between moans of how I hate him and love him.

M-rated part over

I collapse against him. My head in the crock where his throat meets his shoulder. My nose buried into his neck. Smelling him in. I like his after shave, I always liked it. He has a bit of stumble on his face I hadn't noticed earlier, as I was probably too caught up in everything, from the pleasure to how I kept moaning how I hate and love him. My fingers are tracing it lightly now, I still want to kiss him, but I know he won't be allowing that. I am broken though, I am completely undone. This wasn't supposed to ever happen. It was a massive mistake, a destruction, and yet I want to stay here curled up in his arms forever. However this moment is broken as I feel him move, and tense up. His arms leaving my body. It makes me feel cold. He had managed to make me forget the wet clothes clinging to my body, a feeling that is now returning. I pull back and try to seek his eyes, but he won't look at me. I am tempted to force the eye contact needing it somehow and yet I know it will only make everything worse. I carefully move off him. Something that is easier said than done. I manage to push the horn of the car as I move back and over to the passenger seat. I feel tears starting to slide down my cheeks as I grab my jacket and my bag and quickly open the car door. I know I need to get away, I can't stay there as I break down. I can't give him that satisfaction. Sex with him had always been something magnificent something deep, something emotional.

It still was even this time but the fact that he had denied me every single kiss and to stay in his arms after was like an ice cold shower. I know he won't be stopping me. I know that fully as I get out of the car. Before closing the door I whisper a low. "I am sorry..." to him, low enough that if others were around they wouldn't have heard it but high enough that I am sure he did. I slam the door after me and stumble my way into the side walk as I start to run along it. The cold tearing into me, and the road making my feet hurt. I must have forgotten my heels in the car. Tears are running down my cheeks as I make my way through the streets and back to my office building. It happened, he finally found the way to break me, and there is nothing left, but the knowledge of how much pain I brought on us both. All because I couldn't see that loving him wasn't a mistake but what I was meant to do.

Once upon a time I was falling in love, but now I'm only falling apart
There's nothing I can do... a total eclipse of the heart
Once upon a time there was light in my life, but now there's only love in the dark
Nothing I can say... a total eclipse of the heart

Okay so please let me know your thoughts... I really hope you like this angsty take of mine.