I Want You Back
By: babykelyse
Disclaimer: I own nothing, save for the plot, Tiliana, and my adoration for Draco. Lol Credit goes to Blah-the-sixth for his character, Brian. Thanks for your contribution!
One
Pansy grimaced slightly as the food she'd consumed earlier tried its best to empty itself from her body. She rubbed her stomach lightly, marveling at the changes she was going through, but hating the morning sickness that came with being pregnant. She was just starting into her third month of her pregnancy, and she couldn't be any happier. She thought back to when she'd broken the news to Harry and how he'd reacted.
"I'm pregnant, Harry."
Harry backed away from Pansy, speechless, while she looked anywhere but at him. At his continued silence, she risked a glance up, and saw that her unexpected news was still sinking in.
"Aren't you going to say something?"
"I don't know what to say, Pansy. How did this happen?"
Pansy rolled her eyes at his daft question, opting for a sarcastic answer.
"Well, when two people happen to like each other…"
"I get it, Pansy. It was a stupid question," he said, exasperated. "What are you going to do about it?"
At his question, Pansy felt her heart drop. He wanted her to get rid of the baby. His baby…a part of them both.
"I'm not getting rid of it," she said, quietly. "I understand if you don't want a part of this child, but don't ask that of me."
Quickly, Harry made his way back to Pansy, pulling her into his arms tightly.
"You misunderstood, love. I don't want you to get rid of our child. I just…I don't know what to do here, Pans. I don't know if I'm ready to be a father."
Pansy pulled away from him, ignoring the quick flash of hurt that passed through his green eyes.
"And you think I'm ready to be a mother? I'm only 17, Harry! I don't know the first thing about having a baby. And what will I tell my parents? They already think you're a bad influence as it is. This is going to send them through the roof!"
By the end of her tirade, tears were running steadfastly down Pansy's face, and she had a moment of disgust towards herself. She was a bloody Slytherin! Slytherins do not cry! She leaned into Harry's embrace as he took her into his arms once more.
"Pansy, do you want this child?"
At his question, Pansy looked up and stared at Harry. His expression was carefully blank, but she could still see the nervousness at her answer, despite her saying that she wanted the baby beforehand.
"Of course I do."
"Then we'll deal with everything else when the time comes. Right now, let's just take this one day at a time."
Pansy nodded, tightening her hold on him. Somehow, they'd get through this. She only hoped that they'd still be together in the end.
Pansy broke out of her musings when her door opened and a figure stepped in. She smiled slightly at her best friend, Tiliana, loaded down with a handful of books.
"You know…there's a reason why we're witches, Tili. We can float things in front of us," she smirked.
Tiliana rolled her eyes, and dumped her books on the nearest chair, before flopping gracefully besides Pansy on the bed.
"That's so lazy, Pans. I'd rather use my magic for more useful things."
"Like what?" Pansy questioned.
"Oh, the usual. Warding off spells, causing mass mayhem upon those who've done me wrong, sneaking in past curfew. That sort of thing," she deadpanned.
Pansy let a very un-Slytherin like snort at the girl's response. No matter how bad a day she was having, Tiliana always managed to make Pansy feel better.
"Those things are very important," Pansy laughed. "But really, what's with all the books?"
"Those, my dear friend, are books about babies for you and Harry. I figured since the little one will be here soon, you both should start getting a heads up on what you'll need to expect."
"There isn't just one?"
"Of course not! I was surprised to find all of those in the library, though. I never thought Dumbledore would have books on pregnancy."
"Maybe he's trying to tell us something," Pansy scoffed, reaching for one of the books in the pile. "Hmm, 'A Dummy's Guide to Pregnancy', sounds interesting."
"I know you don't care too much for them, but muggles use these types of books for basically everything," Tiliana said, searching through the pile as well. "Who knew they'd need books to understand the simplest things," she laughed.
"They probably need a book to know how to wipe their arse," Pansy said, scrunching her nose in disgust. No matter how much she loved Harry, she'd never feel anything but disdain for muggles.
"Speaking of muggles," Tiliana said, looking at Pansy pointedly.
"What about them?"
"You do realize that Harry is part muggle, right? How does that go? Being that you don't like them and all."
"With Harry, it's different. I love every part of him, even if he has muggle blood running through his veins. Besides, if his mother hadn't been born, then neither would he, and that would be a shame."
"It would, wouldn't it?" Tiliana laughed. "How do you think your parents are going to react about…you know."
"Well they aren't going to be bloody happy about it, that's for sure," Pansy said, unconsciously twisting her hands at the thought. "Mum…I guess she likes Harry, it's hard to tell with her. But Father…Harry's still skating on thin ice with him, and now that the baby's coming…let's just say Father will more than likely try to kill Harry."
"I bet they'd send someone here to keep an eye on you," Tiliana said, her eyes averted.
Pansy smiled devilishly, instantly knowing whom her friend referred to.
"Oh, you mean Brian?" Pansy asked innocently. She laughed at the glare her friend sent her way. She was so transparent, and Pansy never missed a chance to tease the girl on her not so secret crush.
"Shut it, Pans. Can you blame me for the crush? Even if he's your cousin, you can't deny the boy is gorgeous."
Pansy gagged, never having any sort of thoughts about her cousin in that way. She mentally brought up a picture of her cousin, whom she hadn't seen in years. Brian Stratam was the same age as Pansy, though a few months older. He stood almost as tall as Ron Weasley, maybe a few inches taller, his dark brown hair always perfect, never a stray hair out of place, save for the bit that fell into his deep midnight blue eyes. Unlike Pansy, his skin was lightly tanned, much like Blaise, thanks in part to his Sicilian ancestors.
"Even though he isn't a Parkinson, I guess he's okay," Pansy said cheekily, laughing as she dodged a pillow thrown in her direction.
"He's perfect," Tiliana gushed, much to Pansy's disgust. "I love how he takes command of a room when he walks in, without even trying."
"He always knows what he's doing, Tili. He's a spoiled brat, and he knows it. Why you like him, I'll never know. He's so sarcastic and blunt, it's annoying. He's also incredibly rude, saying whatever he thinks is right, and never apologizing when he insults someone."
"But aren't you the same way, Pans?"
Tiliana barely dodged the book thrown at her head.
--
Harry tried his hardest to focus on the essay due tomorrow for Transfiguration, but he just couldn't shake his thoughts on Pansy and the child she was now carrying. No one outside their closest friends knew she was pregnant, and Harry planned on keeping it that way.
At least until she starts showing more anyway, he thought to himself with a frown. Harry sighed, giving up all pretenses on working on his essay. He could always cram in the morning and get it done. He started gathering his things slowly, not really wanting to face Pansy or her excitement over the baby. It wasn't that he wasn't excited as well, but having a child was something Harry wasn't prepared for in the slightest.
"I thought I'd find you here, mate."
Harry turned with a small smile at his best mate, Ron. Seeing him was a welcome relief, and another reason for not returning to Pansy's right away.
"I thought I'd try and finish up that Transfiguration essay Professor McGonagall assigned us, but it didn't exactly work out."
Ron laughed, throwing his long frame into one of the overstuffed chairs. Harry sat back down, hoping that Ron would keep him here for at least another hour.
"I know what you mean, Harry. Hermione has been biting my head off all night about putting the damn thing off until last minute. She just doesn't understand that I'm not as good as her when it comes to my studies."
Harry laughed, nodding his head in agreement.
"We never were one for studiousness were we?" Harry asked, running his fingers through his dark hair.
"So what's on your mind? You looked deep in thought when I walked up on you."
Harry looked over at his best friend for the last six years, instantly knowing that he would never judge him for his thoughts on Pansy and their child.
"Would you think I was a bad person for not being as excited about this baby as I've let on?"
"To be honest, I'm surprised you aren't tearing your hair out right now, Harry. I don't know what I'd do if 'Mione announced she was pregnant."
"You wouldn't have been as careless with Hermione as I was with Pansy."
"Do you regret it?"
"Gods, no! I love Pansy…and I know deep down that I love the child she's carrying. It's something we created together after all, but I'm just…I'm scared, Ron. What if I'm not as good a parent as I think I would be? What if Pansy and I don't last? Hell…what the fuck are we going to do after Hogwarts?"
Ron nodded, understanding the dilemma his friend was going through, and sympathized with him for it.
"I think you'd make a damn good father, Harry. But I do understand all of your other concerns. I'm still trying to wrap my mind over the fact that you and Pansy Parkinson are even together, let alone having a child. But I've seen the way you two look at each other, and I don't think I've seen any two people look more in love. As for what comes after Hogwarts…you've just got to let things happen. Who knows? Everything might turn out for the best."
"Yeah…I hope so. But it's been eating me up inside, not knowing what's going to happen in the future, and with Voldemort still on the loose, I'm scared that I won't be around for my child to even know me…"
"You're thinking about what happened with your parents, Harry?"
Harry nodded, looking down at his Quidditch-roughened hands.
"I never even got to know them, Ron. A part of me just wishes I'd died right along with them. At least we'd still be together, but then I think about you and 'Mione, and Gin and Pansy, and I feel so guilty for even thinking something like that. You're all my family now and I guess I'm just overprotective of that bond I have with you all."
"I think it's normal to feel that way, mate. I guess you could say my family is like your surrogate family, and since you've lost so many that were close to you, you feel overprotective of us, and you don't want anything to happen to us. But you need to know…we all feel the same about you, Harry. You're my brother, even if you aren't a Weasley or have red hair."
Harry laughed, suddenly so glad that he had a friend like Ron in his life. He honestly didn't know what he'd do if the insane red-head wasn't in his life.
"Thanks, Ron. For everything."
"Yeah, yeah. I love you too, Harry. Now let's go and get some dinner. I'm starving from all this mushy stuff."
--
"How would you react if Ginny told you she was pregnant?"
Draco Malfoy barely managed not to spit out the pumpkin juice he was enjoying at the random question his friend Pansy spouted out.
"Where in the hell did that come from, Pans?" Draco asked, eyeing the girl curiously.
"I'm being serious, Draco. Just answer the question."
"If Ginny told me she was pregnant…I honestly don't know how I'd react. I'd be happy, yes, but I'd also be scared, worried about what we were going to do with a child, worried for her, mostly. And, of course, be worried for myself because the entire Weasley clan would probably murder me."
"Maybe that's why he's been acting so strange lately," Pansy mumbled to herself, looking over at the Gryffindor table.
"Potter is a dead man if he's hurting you, Pans," Draco intoned, looking over at the Gryffindor as well.
"He's done nothing to me, and you'll do nothing of the sort. That goes for you as well, Blaise," Pansy said, glaring said boy, who no doubt was already planning something.
"I don't know what you're talking about." Blaise said innocently.
Pansy merely rolled her eyes, grabbing two rolls and sopping them in the gravy. Ever since she'd found out she was pregnant, Pansy had been having the oddest cravings for rolls and gravy. It was annoying.
Draco gagged at her choice of dinner, not understanding why she couldn't eat…normal.
"Speaking of Ginny," Pansy began, taking another bite of her roll, "have you two talked about when you're going to announce to your parents that you're dating?"
"We've spoken about it, but no concrete decision has been made. I'm pretty sure that they'd lock her away somewhere if we did tell them, though. The Weasleys and Malfoys aren't exactly known for their loving relationship."
"How do you think your parents will react?" Pansy asked, truly curious.
"Honestly…I'm not very sure. Mother might like her. Gin's got enough fire in her to go against anything my mum might throw at her. But Father…"
Draco trailed off, looking away. Pansy instantly understood, knowing Draco still wasn't over knowing that his father had a hand in the possession of Ginny in her first year. Pansy reached over and squeezed Draco's hand lightly, smiling at him. He graced her with a rare, small smile before his mask was back in place.
"Anyway," he continued, "we both know what we're getting ourselves into, and we're prepared to face the consequences of our actions. We love each other. That's all that really matters to me. What about you? I know your parents aren't exactly warm towards Potter, but they've come around haven't they?"
"Mum has, but Father can't even say Harry's name without a sneer on his face. And I'm sure he'll just love knowing that I'm carrying his child now," Pansy said, grimacing.
"Have either of you even talked about when you're going to tell your parents about the baby?" Blaise piped in.
Pansy reached for another roll, sopping it in the gravy absentmindedly.
"No. I can't keep this from them forever. And I'll be in the same boat as you, Draco."
"How so?"
"I'll have to meet Harry's surrogate family…Ginny's family if you're feeling a bit thick tonight," Pansy said.
"They might take a shine to you instantly," Draco teased. Blaise laughed, and Pansy glared at the both of them. She never did understand why she was friends with the two arses in front of her.
"Wouldn't it be something if they did?" She said cheekily, smiling when Draco rolled his eyes at her.
"You're a Slytherin, Pans, and therefore the enemy. At least that's what Gin used to tell me all the time."
"I got over that real quick, didn't I?"
The three turned to see a very amused Ginny Weasley standing behind them. It had become a regular occurrence for Ginny to cross the Gryffindor-Slytherin boundaries, and neither House found it strange to see the vivacious red-head sitting with Draco Malfoy anymore.
"Yes you did," Draco said, making love-eyes at his girlfriend. Pansy merely rolled her eyes at her friends' antics, and looked away as the two embraced.
"Well, if you two are finished mauling each other…" Blaise said with a smirk in place.
"You have absolutely nothing to say, Blaise Zabini, with all the times I've been exposed to you and Luna."
Pansy watched in astonished amusement as a slash of red appeared over Blaise's cheeks. In all the years she'd known Blaise he'd never blushed or even shown any notion that he could be embarrassed. Pansy stored this information away, just in case she'd need to use it later.
"Do you think your parents would like me, Gin?"
Ginny Weasley looked over to her friend, and was surprised to see vulnerability in the normally hard eyes.
"Harry loves you, so they will too." Ginny said simply, knowing it to be true.
"You think so? What about me?"
Ginny laughed, turning to face her boyfriend. "You're an entirely different story, Draco. But they'll come around. Both our parents will."
The two shared a long look, communicating silently, before smiling at one another. Ginny broke out of her love-haze long enough to speak to Pansy.
"Oh! That reminds me…Harry wanted me to see if you were alright. He noticed you were looking a bit pale earlier, and was concerned."
"And he couldn't ask me this himself?" Pansy asked the girl, dumbfounded.
"Are you two…okay? He's been acting awfully strange these last few weeks, and I don't think I've seen you two together in ages."
"I don't know what we are anymore, Gin. He hasn't been talking to me lately, and it's freaking me out."
"I'm sorry." Ginny pulled Pansy into a tight hug, which Pansy gratefully returned. "Everything will be better soon, I know it."
"I hope so."
--
If the look Pansy sent him was anything to go by, Harry was in for a serious verbal lashing soon. He sighed, dragging his feet towards her room, not wanting to get into an argument with her. Harry soon found himself in front of the door, and bracing himself for what could be a vicious attack, said the password and stepped in. To his surprise, no object came straight at his head, and he looked around curiously, wondering what Pansy had up her sleeve. What he found made him feel like an arse, and he wondered what she ever saw in him.
Curled up in the middle of her bed, Pansy was dead asleep her dark hair spilling over the side of the mattress from her awkward position. After many months, he'd finally convinced Pansy to take the glamour charms off of her hair and eyes to make them return to their natural color. Gone was the blonde hair and blue eyes and in their place, Pansy's natural beautiful dark brown hair, and her soulful brown eyes. She'd hated the change at first, but Harry insisted that she keep it that way, wanting to know the true beauty of the girl he'd fallen in love with.
Harry walked over to the bed where she now lay, careful not to disturb her sleep. He ran his hands through the dark hair, missing the days when things weren't so complicated between them. He eased her into a more comfortable position and pulled the dark green comforter over her prone form, making sure she was tucked in tight. He kissed her forehead gently, feeling all the love he held for her bubbling in his chest.
"I love you," he whispered, already moving up to leave.
"Mmm, love you too," she responded sleepily, her brown eyes looking up at him.
"I thought you were out for the night," Harry said, still whispering.
"So did I," she laughed, pushing herself out of the cocoon Harry had made for her. She patted the bed beside her, and Harry made his way over, knowing that she'd want an explanation for his behavior lately.
He was surprised when she pulled him into a tight hug, burying her head in chest. He returned the embrace, running his hands down her soft curves slowly. He felt her lips on his neck, and his body immediately responded.
"I'm not mad at you, Harry."
Harry let out the breath he hadn't known he was holding at her statement. He was surprised at her words, but glad for them.
"You should be," he murmured, willing his body to calm down.
"I know. You've been avoiding me and brushing me off at every turn, but I know it's just because this whole baby thing has changed…everything."
"Yeah."
Pansy lifted her head, staring into Harry's green eyes searchingly.
"I'm not going to pressure you into anything."
Harry stared back, confused. What the bloody hell was she talking about?
"What do you mean pressure me?"
Pansy looked away, biting her lower lip, the tell-tale sign to Harry that she was extremely nervous and agitated.
"I know you've probably been thinking 'when is she going to pressure me to marry her?', but I promise I won't, Harry. It's a common thing these days for couples to become parents first then get married, but even then…we don't have to get married if you don't want to. I'm perfectly fine with us just being together, or if you don't want that…"
Harry quieted Pansy with his lips on hers, stemming the flow of words. She melted into him immediately, her arms going around him in a tight embrace. Tenderly, he brushed her hair back, staring down at her in amusement and concern.
"Pans…you couldn't be further from the truth. I want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with you…I just have to get myself right first."
"What do you mean?" Pansy asked, a frown marring her face.
"This baby…is probably the most amazingly scary news I've ever received. I'm constantly going back and forth between being so happy that we made a child together and being scared out of my mind that I won't be a good parent, or that you'll finally realize that you don't want to be with me."
"Harry…"
"No…let me finish, Pans. I owe you this explanation. I've been avoiding you because I'm scared of what having this baby means. We're going to have to grow up real quick, Pansy, and I'm worried that I won't measure up in the long run. And then there's Voldemort to worry about…what if he tries to possess you again? Or what if he succeeds in killing me? What happens then? I couldn't bear the thought of leaving you with a child to raise on your own…I don't want you to raise this baby alone, Pans. I'm just…I'm scared. For you, for me, for the baby…I lost my parents before I even got to know them, and I don't want that to happen to us with our child."
"Oh, Harry. Why didn't you just come talk to me about all this? Remember what we told each other when I first told you about the pregnancy?"
"That we'd face everything head on…together."
"And I meant every word, Harry. I'm in this with you forever...or as long as you want me around."
"I want you around forever, Pans. Believe that."
"I do. And I want you around with me forever, too. Whatever happens with our families, with Voldemort…we'll take it as it comes. And no matter what happens to you or me, this baby is going to know how much his or her parents love him. Our baby is going to know that if his parents died by Voldemort's or anyone else's hands…it wasn't in vain. Just like your parents, Harry. They didn't die in vain at all. They died to protect you, and I'm ready and willing to do the same for our child."
Harry didn't even realize he was crying until Pansy's hand shakily wiped the tears from his cheeks. He moved to do the same before pulling her to him, kissing her softly. He ran his hands through her soft hair, loving the feel of her body against his. Pansy sighed softly into his mouth, her hands looping around Harry's neck. When the need for air arose, the two teens broke apart, their foreheads touching each other's. Pansy pushed Harry's unruly hair back, gazing into his eyes lovingly.
"No matter what happens Harry…just know that I love you so very much. I always will."
"I love you, Pans. Always."
Harry gathered Pansy to him, ready to protect her and his child from anything that dared try and harm them, even if it meant giving his life to do it. His hand reached down to cover Pansy's stomach protectively.
No matter what happens, kid…you'll always know that your parents love you. I'll make sure of it, Harry thought before blissfully succumbing to his dreams.
A/N: It's finally out! I'm so sorry for delaying this story for so long…but I promise it was only because I got caught up with school and life, and not because I was being lazy. Well…some of it was laziness, but that's okay. Lol Anyhow, I originally intended for this to be out Saturday, but since I've made all of you wait for so long…I decided to put it out early. I'm still working on chapters as we speak. I've got about 30 pages written out so far, and I'm not even into the meat of the story. I'll try and update about once a week…depending on how much I'm able to get written out during the week. I'll warn you now…the first few chapters might go a little bit slow. I want to write out about the gang's last month at Hogwarts, how their lives are changing with their new relationships, and then get into Voldemort, how they'll handle themselves once they're out of Hogwarts and so forth. So I hope you'll stick in here with me…I'm writing this for you guys! :) Oh, I also want to mention that this isn't HBP or DH compatible…if that wasn't obvious already lol and everyone, save for Ginny and Luna are in their seventh year. Please forgive any spelling/grammar mistakes. My eyes can only catch so much. So I think I've said everything I need to say in this ridiculously long author's note and I'll stop now. :) You know the drill: Read, review, and as always, enjoy! Ciao!