Yo! I know I haven't updated Half Asleep in ages now. To be honest, I'm having a case of major writer's block so I decided to start a story I've had in my head for quite a while in order to maybe get me past that.
I hope you're not too mad at me and that you'll try this story.
HA should return eventually with new chapters though.
I don't own Skins. But it sure owns me. At least Naomily does.
Naomi Campbell never thought she'd get there.
Never even thought there was a slight possibility for it to happen.
And yet here she is, sitting at this large table, so large indeed it seems to deepen the already huge canyon that separates Naomi and her wife. Well, soon to be ex-wife.
They tried to fix it, to reach for each other again like they did so many times before, to overcome the ever growing distance between them.
Today is the ultimate proof they failed.
And Naomi can't believe it. Can't truly start to process it.
Next to her, the tall, brunette woman, her lawyer, Barbara Preston, clears her throat, effectively snapping Naomi out of her thoughts.
"So, shall we proceed?"
"Yes, we're ready." The chubby man sitting across from her answers. Her wife's lawyer. Well, soon to be ex -wife Naomi has to remind herself again.
"We've already discussed every important detail concerning how you'll split things like the two cars, your house and its mortgage, your joined bank accounts..." Barbara enumerates, while going through a thin pile of documents. Our whole life together can be hold in twenty pages, Naomi thinks. She feels incredibly sad.
"What's really left to do is to sign the paper and, well, it'll be official." Barbara adds, pushing one file towards Naomi and one to the other woman sitting in front of her.
Their eyes lock for a split second and Naomi can't help but get lost in the stunningly beautiful eyes of the woman she loved for eighteen years. They always had had this effect on her. As if the world around them was fading, creating a safe, intimate bubble. Naomi can't recall all the times throughout the years she fell asleep looking at those eyes.
She'll never do anymore.
And like that, the sadness she felt moments ago is replaced by angriness. A bitter, hurtful one.
It only increases when she realizes the woman in front of her is silently crying, looking at her with pleading, guilt-ridden eyes. Naomi can't help but blame everything that's happening between them, all this fucking divorce craziness, on her wife. Knows deep down she had a part to play in it too though.
Naomi lowers her gaze on the document in front of her, hating how those fucking eyes can still stir something deep inside of her, and grabs the pen her lawyer is offering her.
She hears a loud sniffle in front of her but doesn't look back up. Doesn't know if she actually could.
She tries to read the tiny black writings on the page but finds her vision's clouded. Kind of when you get up too fast and get a head rush. Except now, it's more of a life rush. It's just too much, too fucking much for her to handle.
So without thinking, Naomi signs the numerous places where her lawyer put little "X" and gives the files back rapidly, almost as if she would get burned if she touched them for too long. Knows it wouldn't matter anyway because this, this whole situation, it practically combusted her.
Naomi chances a look at her wife and sees she also gave back the files to her lawyer and is now looking at her shaking hands that are resting on the table.
Barbara clears her throat again, putting the documents back in her brown leather briefcase.
"I'll send both copies of these as soon as possible." She gets up and Naomi does the same. Her legs are feeling weak. "Have a nice day." Barbara adds politely, shaking hands with the chubby lawyer. Naomi can't bring herself to look up from the floor so she merely nods and swiftly heads towards the exit. Doesn't miss the loud, gut-wrenching sob that echoes behind her when she shuts the door.
Naomi feels her eyes welling up as she makes her way to the elevator. She doesn't wait for Barbara because she knows she'll see her anyway on Monday. They work for the same lawyer's cabinet after all.
The music in the elevator painfully contrasts with how Naomi's feeling. It's drab and plain while all Naomi can feel is a whirlwind of emotions. It's overwhelming and she finds herself struggling to breathe as the doors finally open, giving her the possibility to practically run towards the exit of the building.
Outside, the day is bright. People are pushing past Naomi as she stands on the sidewalk, dumbly staring ahead of her. She never expected she'd feel that empty.
Out of habit, she turns right and starts to make her way towards Effy's flat. Needs someone to remind her why in hell she decided to do what she did only minutes ago.
When she arrives in front of the familiar red door, it instantly opens to reveal a concerned looking Effy.
Naomi gives her a small smile, or what she hopes looked like a smile of some sort, and enters the flat, aiming for the comfy couch in the living room.
Effy follows her and sits at her side. She doesn't touch Naomi, knows how her best friend hates to be comforted with meaningless gestures or words.
"How do you feel?" Effy finally decides to ask after a few minutes of silence where Naomi put her head in her hands.
She hears Naomi sigh before she brings her head up. Effy has never seen her eyes so broken before.
"I feel like I just lost a part of me."
"Naomi, we talked about it. You thought it was the best way to go after what happened between you and her. You knew it would be hard but now you just have to stick to your decision."
"I know Eff, it's just..." Naomi runs a hand through her blonde locks, slightly bringing her head back to stop the tears from falling.
"I know Naoms. I know."
Naomi feels a cold hand being softly placed on her thigh as Effy scoots a bit closer to her.
"What are you going to tell the girls?" She asks carefully, not knowing if Naomi's strong enough to even be talking about this.
"Fuck. I have no idea. They know something's wrong though. Have for weeks actually. They're not stupid."
"You'll deal it when you'll have to." Effy answers, grabbing Naomi's pale hand. "Do you want to sleep here tonight?"
Naomi tries to smile again. Knows she failed as miserably as before. "Ok, thanks a lot Effy."
"No problem babe." Effy gets up and drops a light kiss on Naomi's forehead. "I'll go make us a good cup of tea."
Later that night, when Naomi's curled up with her knees hugged tightly against her chest, she hears Effy and Katie's easy banter in the kitchen. She hears them giggling, even thinks she can hear them kiss. Knows they've been tiptoeing around her all evening as if she was some fragile thing. Also knows she is a fragile thing right now.
But that's when she hears them exchange I love you's that something snaps inside of Naomi.
She starts to sob.
Ugly, noisy, breathless sobs that break her body as if she's being crashed repeatedly against a wall of bricks.
She sobs because that, what Effy and Katie have, the intimacy that comes from being in a relationship, that's what she'll miss the most. She'll miss the way you come to just know the other person throughout the years and how this person also comes to know, to fully get you. How you become this person's other half; how you complete each other in such a perfect way it can be bloody scary at times.
So Naomi sobs, doesn't even bother to wipe her nose or to quiet down the whimpering noises escaping her throat.
She doesn't know how long it's been but she suddenly feels a warm body slipping under the covers beside her.
Naomi opens her eyes to meet Effy's blue ones.
"God, Naomi..." Effy trails off, wrapping her arm around Naomi's waist and pulling her closer.
Naomi tries to answer, tell her she's fine really, but the words die in her throat and instead, she lets out another muffled sob.
"I thought we were forever Eff, I really did..."
Effy sighs and nods, kissing the top of Naomi's head. Truth be told, she did too.
Eventually, Naomi calms down, comforted a bit by the arms currently wrapped around her.
But they're not her arms.
The tiny, strong arms of her wife. Naomi exhales shakily. Well, ex-wife now.
Emily Fitch.
Hope it was somehow enjoyable. Maybe a bit cryptic but you'll get more details in the next chapters.
Review if you feel it's worth it!