Chapter 1: The Vault Hunter Academy
A/N: I'm pretty sure no one's done this before so I hope it's to people's liking. It's starts with Mordecai, but is really in everyone's point of view. So please review if you have any suggestion, plot ideas, or other stuff. Hope you like it. 8 D
Disclaimer: I don't own either Borderlands,it's characters, or "The Three Musketeers". Only the plot, Segador, and No Teeth the bandit.
"HEY YOU BASTARDS GET THE F**K OUT OF THE F****N WAY!" the bus driver, Marcus yelled. "YEAH YOU THERE, I SWEAR... MOVE THE DAMN SKAG!" Then the bus made an inhuman power slide.
"I think I'm going to be sick." Mordecai Cedillo groaned trying to hold in his breakfast.
"Lighten up soldier." said the dark skinned guy next to Mordecai.
"Does he drive like this often?" Mordecai asked incredulously.
"Yeah pretty much." the guy said. "Oh, my apologize. The name's Roland." He holds out his hand. Mordecai took it, and they shook hands.
"I'm Mordecai."
"Something tells me your new here?" Roland states.
"Is it that obvious." Mordecai grimaces from another power slide.
"Well yeah, I don't know anyone here who wears a wrestling mask and all leather outfit for kicks." Roland says pointing to the mask and leather clothes Mordecai was wearing. Mordecai however just shrugs. He's been told this all his life, it really didn't bother him anymore.
"So where are you going?" Roland asks.
"The Vault Hunter Academy." Mordecai answers.
"Me to. So why are you coming here?" Roland asks. "Got any family, or friends?"
"Nah. I was scouted." Mordecai says.
"What did you do?"
"I won the Interplanetary Sharpshooting Competition." Mordecai says. Roland's mouth drops.
"How does winning mean leaving for a fresh start?"
"Let me rephrase that. I won the Interplanetary Sharpshooting Competition,with a revolver." if possible Roland's mouth drops even farther.
"Apparently..." Mordecai continues. "I apparently cheated because I was using a modded revolver or some bullshit. So they decided to publicized it." Mordecai sighed. Roland looked at his unhappy companion.
"Well for what it's worth." Roland starts. "Your parents couldn't have picked a worse shit hole to move to." Mordecai laughs.
"Since your new here I'll show you my friends." Roland says.
"What are they're names?" Mordecai asks.
"Well there's Lilith, Brick, Zer0, Maya, Axton, Salvador, and Gaige." Roland says. "And I pretty sure you know who's names go with who. Hey you got a place to stay?" Roland asks. Mordecai shakes his head. "Well you can room with me. I have plenty of space." Then the bus makes a skidding stop and tilts over, almost it to the point of it falling on it's side.
"Well little ones, unless you would like for your intestines to become you out-testines. GET THE HELL OUT OF MY BUS!" Marcus yells. Everyone shuffles out. Roland and Mordecai leave and they are instantly met with a red and blue haired girls with matching tattoos, an upright mound of flesh with nails in his hands, a tall guy in a full face mask with a huge zero, a vertically challenged rhino with a mo-hawk, a light skinned guy with a cocky smiled firmly etched on his face, and another girl with a robotic arm. They all crowed around the new comer, asking questions that Mordecai couldn't keep up with.
"Everyone, everyone, calm down!" Roland yelled. They all quieted down.
"Who is this new guy/is he to join our little group/ or is he to die?" motorcycle helmet inquired in a robotic voice and strange speech pattern grabbing the handle of a handle of digitized katana.
"No Zer0, no killing at least not now." Roland said. ". Everyone this is Mordecai. Mordecai these are my friends."
"Hello." Mordecai says.
The guy with the cocky smile holds out his hand like Roland, and Mordecai shakes it. "Hello. I'm Axton." he says. "That Lilith, Maya, Brick, Zer0, Salvador, and Gaige" He says pointing to each person.
"Why are you wearing a mask?" the girl, Gaige, asks jumping up and down with excitement. Mordecai was taken back by the girl's perkiness. This one is definitely hyped up on sugar. He thinks.
"Gaige come on, don't bother the new guy." the red haired girl, Lilith, scolds. Mordecai just noticed she had strange tattoos running up an down the right side of her body.
"Eh I don't mind." Mordecai says. "I used train Bloodwings, so I wore the mask to protect my eyes."
"Um." the short one, Salvador starts. "I thought you were a Truxican wrestler, who moonlights as a dominatrix. You look the type amigo." Mordecai had to restrain himself from choking the crap out of Salvador.
"Aren't Bloodwings supposed to be bloodthirsty birds who eat people's eyes?" the big one, Brick asks.
"Why do you think I wear the mask." Mordecai states. An oh came from the giant.
"A dangerous job/ but sounds like a good challenge/ nice mask by the way." Zer0 says in his strange haiku speech.
"Thanks."
"So what makes you so special?" the blue haired girl, Maya, asks.
"I won the Interplanetary Sharpshooting Competition, with a revolver." Mordecai says, and leaves it at that.
"Well I'm glad Roland brought you then, Zer0 may be an assassin but his real skill is in the large razor on his back." Axton jokes, while everyone (but Zer0 who had a sad face emoticon) laughed. Mordecai smiled at this. Maybe I'll actually have friends this time. Mordecai thinks.
"C'mon let's go." Roland says. "Our first class is sharpshooting with "General" Knoxx."
BL&BL2
"Okay who wants to try to shoot the skull off the clap traps head?" General Knoxx asks the high-schoolers in front of him. Immediately Camcorder's hand goes up. "How about you mate." Mordecai walks toward the rifle General Knoxx had set up and trained on a Pyscho tied to a wooden post.
"You ever sniped before?" Knoxx asked. Mordecai nods, and motions for Mordecai to zero and aim. Mordecai places the cross hairs a few ticks above the apple. Takes a deep breath. And pulls the trigger.
(Cue the Sniper Warrior 2 kill cam) The bullet flies in slow motion. It began to descend to the proper height. It hit the apple, which apparently couldn't take the force, and exploded into apple sauce. While the Pyscho just fidgets and yells something about babies.
"Good job mate." General Knoxx says. Then the bell rang (which sounds like a dieing rakk). The gang all ran up to Mordecai and praised him from his excellent shooting.
"Beautiful artwork/challenge of the shot was great/ I hope we can fight?" Zer0 states.
"Uh thanks?" Mordecai says uncertain on what Zer0 went. "So what's our next class?"
"Your going to like this Zer0. It's close combat fighting with your mentor Segador." Roland says. A smile emoticon appears on Zer0's face.
BL&BL2
Slice! Crack! Shing! Whack!
"You cannot beat me/ my skills have grown since the last time/ prepare for defeat." Zer0 says after dodging a slice from Segador. Segador however doesn't say anything, until he uses the butt of his blade and rams it into Zer0's stomach. Zer0 doubles over and gets kneed in the face by Segador.
"Still much to learn, before defeat me you can." Segador says before digitizing his sword, and walking back to his desk. Everyone helped Zer0 to his feet,who had an FML on his face.
"C'mon Zer0 don't think like that." Maya said, trying to cheer Zer0 up. Zer0 put's on a happy emoticon, then it immediately turns into a :(_8(1) {Sad_Dead}
"Don't worry at least you didn't have a hammer bang against your head by a robot wielding brujah." Salvador says, then sends another scowl towards Gaige.
"I said I'm sorry jeez." Gaige says. Then Brick pulls Zer0 into a very bone crushing bear hug, trying to make him feel better.
"Bones being crushed/ Life flashes before my eyes/ I don't talk much." Then Brick let's him out of the bear hug. Zer0 falls to the floor gasping for air.
"Aside from the fact Zer0 nearly got crushed to death, Salvador almost got brained, us nearly having to peel Roland off of Bricks fists, and me being on fire twice. I say that went well." Axton says summing up there experiences from the class, while receiving death glares from everyone.
"So Roland what's our next class?" Lilith asks there fearless leader.
"We have battle field tactics with commandant Steele." He says. He and Axton smile at that. Everyone groaned. Only the two future soldiers would like long boring lectures from an albino Russian woman.
BL&BL2
"And when you finally have them on the run, use your long ranged snipers to pick off them off. Any questions?" Steele asks the class. She was rewarded with practically everyone asleep. Brick was snoring loudly. Mordecai had his face on his desk, and was drooling slightly. Lilith was constantly phase walking and not phase walking with every breath. Maya had a religouse manuscript on her sleeping face. Salvador used his hands to prop up his head. While Zer0's body was rigid and looked like he was listening, but his face plate had a long row of Zzz. Only Axton and Roland where awake and paying attention.
Commandant Steele pulled out her revolver and shot it into the sealing ( and through someone's foot) and woke everyone up. "Class. For homework I want you to give me a detailed echo recording on how you would take out a bandit camp full of burning psychos. Dismissed." The bell rings and they all walk to lunch line.
"So do we have anything after lunch?" Maya asks loading a bunch of fruits and vegetables onto her plate.
"We have lunch then to more classes, but we really don't need to go to those classes?" Roland says picking fruits and meat.
"What are they?" Brick asks picking anything that looks like meat.
"The last two classes are Looting and grenade throwing." Axton says grabbing a bag of pop corn (that's for you Brawl499).
They all sat down and started eating. Brick practically splashing everyone with juices, and Zer0 not eating a single thing.
"Hey Zer0 do you ever eat?" Mordecai asks. Zer0 shakes his head no, and resumes I dunno brooding?
"So what should we do after this?" Brick asks through mouthfuls of food.
"Dude chew before speaking." Lilith said wiping meat off her face.
"Sorry." Brick says and swallows, then belches loudly. Salvador answers it with his own belch. Then Brick retaliates. Then Salvador. Brick was about to answer until a really loud one came out. They all looked for the source of the noises then they see a blushing Giage looking away sheepishly.
"Sorry. Excuse me." Gaige apologized. Everyone bursts out laughing. After everyone calms down. Roland put's his hand up.
"I think I may know what we could do." Roland says. Everyone looks at him. He slams down a piece of dusty paper. It was a wanted poster for a bandit named "No Teeth".
"We're going after a bounty!?" Lilith says surprised at Roland's idea.
"Well yeah. We need the money." Roland states.
"Roland," Lilith starts. "The biggest we've ever done is go and take out a bandit camp. Or clear a skag den or Rakk nest. Are we even ready for a real named bandit?"
"We can take him." Roland said with a firm tone. He holds out his hand like in the three musketeers.
There were nervous mummers amount the group. Until Zer0 broke the awkwardness.
"A bounty for our group/ Sounds like a very good challenge./ I accept the terms." Zer0 says putting his hand out.
"If Zer0 okay with it. So am I." Maya put her hand in the group.
"Me too, it sounds FUN." Gaige says and put her hand in the middle.
"If you guys are going to kill and have fun count me in." Brick places his over-sized hand in.
"Sign me up también." Salvador places his hand in the middle. Soon everyone placed there hands in the middle. All except Lilith who looked at them uncertainly.
She sighed in exasperation. "If we die, and have to spend money to be recreated you all owe me 1/3 of your share." Lilith puts her hand in the middle. Everyone cheers and lift there hands up.
"First things first," Axton starts. "Who actually has a gun?" Only he, Roland, Mordecai, and Salvador raise there hands.
"Well this is problem." Roland states.
Cliffhanger!
Thank you for those who have taken the time to read it. If you have any questions or suggestions please ask me. Don't worry the cliff hanger will not last long. I also dedicate this story to Brawl499 who inspired me to right this Fanfic. Thanks again. And review.