50 Things Blair Waldorf Shouldn't Do
1. The 2nd Monday of each month is not 'Worship Blair Waldorf' day,
2. Neither is it a national holiday,
3. And it will never will be,
4. No matter how much money you donate to homeless charities.
5. Sports do not include: blackmailing teachers,
6. Laughing at Vanessa's ridiculous dress sense,
7. Humiliating Dan,
8. Or trying to make Chuck jealous by hooking up with random hot guys.
9. Brooklyn is not a Third World Country,
10. And trying to change the Constance Billard's geography books won't change that detail.
11. Chuck's obsession with scarves is not to be laughed at,
12. You might be killed,
13. By his scarf.
14. Dorota is not a slave,
15. Despite what her ringtone might make you believe.
16. Throwing Marc Jacobs at Chuck's head after he tells you that red/ purple / navy is not a good idea,
17. They might break,
18. Throw your lying Geography textbook at him instead.
19. A hockey stick is not include in weapons of war,
20. And should not be used as such
21. Even against your sometimes-best-friend-sometimes-worst-enemy.
22. The Met Steps belong to the Met,
23. Not Blair Waldorf,
24. And the New York Governor won't change them to the Waldorf Steps,
25. Ever,
26. So don't even think to ask.
27. Being blonde does not make you dumber,
28. Neither does living in Brooklyn,
29. And Blair Waldorf shouldn't try and make them accepted facts.
30. When someone makes a negative comment about you it is usually wrong to throw shoes at their heads,
31. Or plot their downfall,
32. Or make-up a slightly believable but completely untrue rumour about them,
33. Or do all of the above.
34. Forgetting your headband, even for only one day, is not a socially acceptable excuse to get someone excluded.
35. Penelope, Hazel, Nelly and Isabel are real people,
36. Not mindless robots that are just there to follow orders,
37. As they are people they do have to eat,
38. And sleep.
39. Telling Chuck that purple is so last season isn't a good idea,
40. Either is laughing at his sometimes-questionable fashion choices,
41. Actually just leave Chuck's dress sense alone,
42. Only he can really understand it.
43. Just because Dan and Jenny are close does not mean they are having an incest affair,
44. And it is wrong to post that on Gossip Girl.
45. The reason you didn't get in Yale was not because of their prejudice against people with gay dads,
46. Or workaholic fashion obsessed mothers,
47. And complaining to the President will not get you in.
48. Rumours that Serena dumped Dan because he has a small penis are probably false,
49. And Blair Waldorf should not spread them,
50. Even though the look on Dan's face when freshmen ask if it's true is priceless.