Hope
Author's Note: This has got to be the most complicated story I have written to date. I have watched PoA so much that when I suggest a movie, my kids roll their eyes. While watching it one evening, I started wondering what was going through the mind of one Professor R. J. Lupin. So I decided that this was an area I wanted to explore. This story started off being PoA (the movie) from Remus' point of view. I couldn't figure out whether or not this would be AU or not since I have some things happening that never happened in the movie or the book. But since then the story decided to help me out by taking on a life of its own. It has decided for me, that it will definitely be AU.
Disclaimer: The characters in this story belong to the brilliant Ms. J. K. Rowling. I don't own them although if I did, I wouldn't be using the computer at the public library, now would I?
Chapter 1
I step through the barrier and then there it is. The Hogwarts Express. My heart is in my throat. In the blink of an eye, I am lost, lost in the memories of anther lifetime. I remember what I felt back then. Back when I saw that magnificent train for the first in what was to be many rides. Anticipation, anxiety, excitement, happiness, fear and even loneliness. Loneliness is the one emotion I still feel every day.
How long I stand there, I don't know. Someone bumps into me, shaking me back to the present, quietly reminding me of the task in front of me. Apologies are said and then I'm off. Off to return to the one place I have only visited in my dreams.
I make my way wearily aboard. My feet, they seem to have a mind of their own as they carry me down that all too familiar path. Opening the door to the empty compartment, I suddenly feel about a hundred years older. I settle into the spot that was always mine all those years ago, drifting off to dream of the days when I rode this train for an entirely different reason.
Hearing my name, I wake. For a brief instant, I imagine it was one of them, one of the four I lost. My heart leaps and then falls as I remember. I listen to the conversation flowing around my head. Sirius is mentioned. With a jolt, I realize who one of those voices must belong to. Harry.
I am drifting off again, when I feel the window beside my head become as cold as a sheet of ice. It grows colder and I feel Harry tense up next to me. It becomes alarmingly clear why. I spring to my feet, wand in my outstretched hand. The thing is gone as quickly as it had appeared. I look back. Harry is slumped over, glasses on the bench beside him. The girl is calling his name as he awakens. She hands him his glasses. The red-head with them, I'm guessing, would be Arthur and Molly's son.
Harry wants to know what that was. A dementor I tell him, handing him a piece of chocolate as I explain. I walk to the door, giving them the excuse of needing to talk to the driver. The truth is Harry wasn't the only one who was affected by the dementor. I reach back into my pocket and break off another piece of chocolate, this time for myself.
We arrive at Hogwarts after the carriage ride from the station. I am greeted by Albus, Minerva, and Poppy. Minerva asks after Harry. He's fine, gave him some chocolate, I tell them. Poppy smiles and Minerva beams and Albus is, well, Albus. Minerva and Poppy leave us. Minerva, to collect the first years from Hagrid, Poppy to head to the Great Hall.
Albus' eyes lose their twinkle as he warns me of Severus' objections to my coming. I'm not surprised, I tell Albus. As long as he himself has no regrets about me, then I can handle Severus.
Looking out over the Great Hall, I let my eyes roam over each House, leaving Gryffindor for last. I see the ghosts. Not Sir Nicholas, the Fat Friar, the Grey Lady, or even the Bloody Baron. No, I see a different set of ghosts. The ghosts of Peter, James, Lily, and Sirius. Beside me, I can hear Severus talking. I guess he's trying to make me lose my temper, but I am so busy watching the ghosts in my own mind that his words do not faze me any.