AN: Hey guys, this is my take on what goes through Addie's head in the first episode of season 6. I hope you like and please leave a review :)
Addison loved mornings like these; standing on her balcony, holding Henry, watching the sunrise. Yes, life was pretty much perfect. Other than the fact that she was getting up at five every morning and not because her beautiful baby boy needed her, but because she couldn't let Jake see her like this. She was being silly (or at least she hoped she was), but she knew she had to compete with all of his patients plus all the women in Los Angeles. He was just so damn good looking. Derek, Mark and Sam were amazingly sexy too but they weren't spreading legs all day. Well, Mark used to, but that was different. The women Jake dealt with were all on extra doses of hormones and she knew how crazy they could be.
So yes, she got up at five, showered, did her hair and make-up and dressed and hoped she looked good enough. It was so strange; the confidence (or arrogance as some had called it in the past) she always had was completely gone. Seriously, checking her phone every five minutes to check if Jake texted or called, how pathetic was she? She knew she made the right choice but she had to admit, it was really hard to deal with the jealousy. She had never been jealous when she was with Sam and she never felt like she was competing for his attention and she never put in any extra effort to look her best. Was that weird? She looked at Henry as if he was going to give her the answer. Judging by the look in his eyes, she was weird.
Addison chuckled slightly at this thought. She knew that if there was one person who loved her unconditionally it was her son. And she loved him, more than anything. It was strange, the minute she held him, she knew he was meant to be hers. He was her little miracle and nothing could ever take him away from her. She felt sorry for any girlfriend he'd ever try to bring home, no girl would ever be good enough for her little prince. But then again, she knew he'd be so handsome, he wouldn't be able to keep girls away from him. Again she laughed at her silly thoughts; Henry getting a girlfriend was something that was still really far away, so why worry about it? Right now she had to worry about her own relationship.
What could she do to make sure Jake really liked her? What if one of those crazy, hormonal patients of his snagged him away? It wasn't all that likely to happen, but still, it made her think. She needed to be prepared in case he did stray, so to speak. Was he the type to cheat? He wasn't anything like Mark, or even Derek. The latter had had an affair but only after her one night stand with the former. But before that he had grown more and more distant. So maybe that was a sign? She knew she was crossing the border into paranoia, but one could never be too sure with a man as incredibly sexy as Jake. She had to admit: he was strong-willed. When she so willingly threw herself at him, that night of the conference, he'd very gently let her down, even though he admitted he had feelings for her. Addison made a mental to note to ask him about that. If he even so much as hinted he was in the mood, she was already half naked and in the bed. What was it about him that made her into this, for lack of a better word, weaker woman?
Was it the way he was around Henry? No, because Sam was good with Henry and she didn't feel herself go weak at the knees when Sam looked or smiled at her. Was it the way he always knew exactly what to order when they were getting take-out? No, anyone could do that; she was a creature of habit, always ordering the same things from the same places. Although Mark had never gotten it right in the time he was with her. But then again, Mark was otherwise "occupied" for most of their relationship. Was it the way he always listened to what she had to say and actually paid attention and responded? Well, maybe. Derek had never really done that. He'd always seemed absent-minded when she tried telling him about her day. And Sam listened, but he always had a counter argument and she had to admit, it was tiring to have to defend yourself so much.
All of the above? Yes. And much, much more. The more she thought about it, the more she praised herself lucky with this perfect man. He always rushed to help her with the zipper of her dress in the morning (and she never even had to ask), he volunteered to take her shopping (something none of her former lovers particularly enjoyed), he sat with her on the terrace and they'd just watch the stars in a comfortable silence, not in a hurry to go anywhere or do anything. He made her feel calm, and happy and wanted, while at the same time she was freaking out because she knew this could all be taken away from her by one of his crazy patients.
Could it though? He did choose her, after all. He could've had any doctor at St. Ambrose or nurse or volunteer, if he wanted to. But he didn't, he chose her: Addison Forbes Montgomery. For now she was happy knowing that, but she knew she had to talk to him about her insecurities. If she wanted this relationship to work out (and man, did she want that), she couldn't start withholding things. She learned that the hard way. It seemed so silly to say it out loud though, she was embarrassed she thought this way but she just couldn't help it. She needed to know that he'd always be there for her and Henry, which meant she needed to know if there were any threats to their relationship. '
Suck it up Addie, just tell him how you feel and everything will be fine. And if it isn't we can always go by those shoes you saw last week.' She thought to herself.
Her thoughts were disturbed by Henry cooing and she couldn't help but smile brightly. Her son was perfect, her man was perfect. Her life, right now, in this moment, was perfect.
She then heard buzzing from inside her room and knew it was Jake's phone. Probably one of his crazy patients wanting to sleep with him. She again laughed at herself and walked back inside.