A/N very strong suicide scene. Please tell me if this was good or bad! I always want to improve! Please leave a review and I could write an epilogue if you wanted one so please... 'enjoy' hehehehe

Dean was at a cliff edge. He contemplated the idea of jumping. It wouldn't hurt that much. He wouldn't survive it anyway. If the rocks didn't get him on the way down the churning waves below would drag him under and drown him anyway.

Since Sam was married and had his precious son and daughter, he hadn't seen much of him. It was like the time the trickster gave him a 'normal' life and his mom didn't die. He hadn't seen much of Castiel either as he was away dong angel business up in heaven. Without his job he didn't and no-one to settle down with, he fell into a hole of depression and he was barely able to stand let alone climb out of it. He missed the days in which he had a purpose and had something to do and each day was different.

Now each day followed the same script of eating, drinking and sleeping.

A flutter of wings behind hi, pronounced the arrival of Castiel and he turned around. The angels head was tilted to the side, eyebrows furrowed and lips pouted.

"Dean, what are you doing?" The he asked innocently, "You might fall." He added, stating the obvious.

"I'm going to jump, Cas, I'm bored to live any more. You have a purpose, Sam has a purpose and I don't. My life has no meaning. It has run its course. I have fulfilled my purpose. Nothing I do anymore gives me a rush of adrenaline like hunting did. And if we did start hunting again, how will I convince Sammy to join me? How am I supposed to hunt without my brother? I can't do it alone. He was always the one who got the work done."

A tear dripped down Dean's face.

"I do not see how this can cause you to want to jump and potentially kill yourself."

Dean looked out into the horizon then down at the raging torrent below his feet, "It causes me unhappiness. This means that I am constantly sad. Being constantly sad isn't good for anyone. The only way I can end this is by death. And don't you dare save my sorry ass! I deserve this! I deserve to die. I have no purpose. I have no life. I'm just taking up space... You have a purpose! You have a great purpose! You get mission after mission." The tears had started to pour down his face.

Castiel moved forward went to touch Dean's shoulder but he rapidly flinched away. Disheartened, the angel awkwardly put his hands in his trench coat pockets looking down at his feet.

"I have observed the nature of humans for a very long time. When one commits suicide it affects the people closest to them the most. Sam will be distraught. He may not be able to look after his offspring in the correct manor. He may even bring them up like your father brought you up. Why would you wish that upon someone?"

"I don't know, okay? And… Well that's his problem. Goodbye Cas. Tell Sammy I love him. Okay?" Dean asked with a pleading tone, for emphasis he grabbed Cas' coat, "Tell me that you will tell my little Sammy I love him. Please! Please... I..." his voice caught in his sobs.

"I will tell him."

"Thanks for everything. Castiel, I love you, man."

"I know Dean. Dean Winchester I-"

Dean jumped before he could get out the words.

Castiel stood watching. He was frozen in time as it slowed down and he couldn't tear his eyes away quickly enough. He obeyed Dean's final wish, though, and had not saved him. Even when Dean had hit the bottom, it felt like his entire body ripped in two. He stayed still with a stoic expression, afraid that if he moved he might get irresistible urges to fly down and save him.

A lone year rolled down his cheek. The intense loss he felt had caused him to resort to human behaviors that he could not control. And once one tear had rolled down his cheek many more were to follow.

A/N kinks un-kinked! Epilogue down! We're good to go! I hope you're not too distraught though. Sorry…