A/N:
Heya folks,
and welcome at the beginning of my new story: Blindsided.
Before you peeps start reading it, though, I'd like to ask you to read through this A/N first (I know, it's a bit on the longer side, but please bear with me since posting this story makes me quite nervous, to be honest).
First of all, I want to make a couple of things perfectly clear:
- As some of you might have thought when reading the summary, this story was inspired by Borba's comic "I will survive"
- No, this is neither going to be a rip-off nor a re-telling of his comic but a story in its own right. It just works under the same premise (as I said, it is inspired by the comic, after all).
- No, this is not my idea of throwing a punch at Borba or anything along those lines. I respect the artist for his drawings, and he has a right to create a comic the way he sees fit.
- While some details at the beginning might be the same as or very close to ones from the comic you shouldn't assume right away the direction this story is going. I left those details in since they were necessary for the plot to work.
Also, the outlines for Blindsided are finished, but only the first chapter I have actually written out so far, meaning updates will take a while since I'm not the fastest writer out there.
And for the length: it will probably be around three to four chapters in total (unless I'm going to go crazy and add an unforeseen amount of details and whatnot).
Last but not least: I know that this story contains a lot of potential for controversy (probably/maybe), and I'm not asking you to keep your opinions to yourselves. But please, stay polite.
With that, I'll stop rambling now and leave you to your reading.
PS: As always, my thanks goes to my buddy Quakky for proofreading and giving some ideas for last-minute improvements :-)
Cold, artificial light illuminated the small, white-tiled bathroom and caused every shadow to look too sharp and solid.
Leaning onto the sink, a grey bunny-doe stared at the item she held in her paw, clasping it hard enough that the plastic creaked in protest. Her ears hang limply behind her head, and deep, sorrowful lines were showing on her face.
"No, no, no. Please no," Judy's voice came out barely a whisper, laced with desperation. But there was no willing away the result of the pregnancy test.
As there was no way to deny the results of the dozen others she had bought in case one would be flawed.
And she had used every one of them. They already lay in the sink, each being positive.
Closing her eyes, the doe briefly rested her head on the porcelaine, letting the cold of the smooth surface seep into her fur.
When she straightened herself, her gaze met her reflection's in the mirror. Her amethyst eyes looked dull and forlorn.
"Alright, Judy, you have to tell him. You can do it."
Though her words were lacking the usual enthusiasm with which she gave herself an encouraging pep talk every morning.
With a deep sigh and a feeling like her world was about to end, she left the bathroom with heavy feet and headed in the direction of the TV's sound.
She could hear some laughter and knew her mate was watching one of his beloved, stupid comedy shows.
Entering the living room, Judy found Nick sprawled out on the couch.
The tod was wearing his lazy day-off attire consisting of a pair of sweatpants and an unbuttoned shirt, his head propped up on one arm, eyes glued to the screen and the tip of his tail flicking every now and then.
"Nick"
Hearing his mate's voice, the red fox's head swiveled in her direction.
When he glimpsed the distressed look on her face, he turned off the TV, stood up and took the two steps he needed to be in front of his bunny.
Not knowing what to say, Judy let go of the hem of her checkered shirt, which she had subconsciously clutched with one paw, and while taking a deep breath reached into her pants pocket, producing the latest pregnancy test and holding it out for Nick to see.
Confusion crossed the reynard's face until understanding dawned on him.
Lips parting in surprise, his expression quickly morphed into one of unveiled joy when he lifted the doe up, pressed a kiss to her lips and started to spin them both around, laughing out happily.
"Nick! Stop!"
Only then the tod realized that his mate's whole body language spoke of a devastated bunny.
His smile slowly fading, he placed the doe back on the ground and squatted down, coming to eye level with her.
"What's the matter, Fluff? Are you not feeling well?"
The concern in Nick's voice caused Judy's next words to sit like weights in her heart.
"Nick, I... I don't want those kits."
Her declaration hit the fox like a blow. His eyes widened in disbelief as he tried to wrap his head around what Judy had just said.
She must be kidding, right? This is just some kind of elaborated prank. It must be! he desperately thought.
But when Judy's eyes slowly filled with tears he realized it wasn't.
Standing up, the tod took a step back.
Then another one.
Until the edge of the couch hit the back of his knees, causing his already weak legs to give in and him to heavily flop down.
His gaze had never left his mate's face, searching for any sign it wasn't true.
The world around him seemed to lose its color. His muzzle opened and closed without a word leaving his lips.
Judy had taken a step forward, closing the distance between them a bit.
She was scared to lose her mate, but she wanted him...needed him to understand.
"Please, let me explain."
Watching the pained expression on her face was more than Nick could take and with a sharp nod he prompted her to continue.
The bunny grabbed the front of her shirt in an unwitting attempt to calm down her racing heart.
"It was so sudden. I never expected this to happen. I mean, I knew that there are some interspecies couples who have kits, but they are all either both prey or both predators. Pred-prey couples becoming parents? That's just unheard of! I thought it would be impossible. What if our kits would be disfigured? Or have some other considerable health issues? What if my body can't even handle it? I-I mean, I don't know if I'm not putting myself at risk, too, when I keep them."
By that time, Judy was openly crying, her whole body shaking.
In a voice that was trembling just as much, she added: "I'm also not ready to quit my job."
She averted her gaze, the grief-stricken expression on the fox's face being too much for her to bear.
The first thing Nick felt when his brain started working again was anger.
Anger at the fact that Judy didn't want his kits.
Anger at her reasoning and the apparent excuses she made.
Anger at the statement that her job was more important to her than their unborn offspring.
Anger at himself for not realizing how scared his mate was, despite how long they had been together.
Leaning forward, he grabbed the weeping bunny by the waist and with little effort lifted her up, causing her to let loose a surprised 'eep'.
He placed her in his lap, curled his tail around her protectively and started caressing her back and ears to calm her down.
The doe immediately hid her face against Nick's chest, letting her tears flow freely.
When her sobs finally eased up, and her tears started to dry, the tod pushed her away just enough to be able to look her in the eyes.
There was a feeling that something about what Judy had told him was off but finding out what exactly was going on would have to wait until later.
Right now there was a still very shaken bunny that needed his support.
"The part about your job is nonsense, and you know it. After maternity leave, you could just come back."
The doe tried to protest, but Nick just raised his voice a tad. "Though I understand that you are scared, Judy. Hell, now that I think about it, it really is scary the way it had happened out of the blue."
The tod's expression softened a little, and even the faint trace of a smile appeared on his face.
"But I also know that you are a fighter. You have always been one. Unafraid to chase your dreams, even when others didn't believe in you. Standing up for what you knew to be right. Like back then under that bridge. You have been crying there as well, afraid that I hated you and that you've lost me forever. But you had still talked to me, apologized, and asked for my help to save this city, even if you would get hurt. So I know your strength. I know that unbreakable will of yours. I know that there is nothing that can get you down for long before you just rise back to your feet."
He had cupped one of her cheeks with his paw, his padded thumb slowly, softly brushing against her fur.
"And I know that whatever fears you have now, you will be able to conquer them, like you have been able to do in the past. The difference is, you are not alone anymore. I'm with you; have been with you for a long time now. And if you are willing to believe in me, to lean on me, and to trust in the strength I can give you, then we can see this through to the end."
The tod swiped away the last tears that had remained on Judy's face and gave her a reassuring smile that caused the doe to press her nose to her mate's neck, nuzzling him under his muzzle appreciatively.
Nick felt the smallest nod coming from the bunny.
"What can I... what can we do now, though?" Judy asked with a last sniffle, still holding her fox tight, "I have no idea what comes next. There has never been a case with a pred-prey couple having offspring."
There was still that helplessness in her voice that Nick had never heard before, but now there was also the first trace of hope as well since Judy had dropped her news and unexpected statement on him.
Giving himself a moment to think it over, Nick took up her last comment. "Where have you looked it up? In some online forums, or news sites or something like this?"
He felt the bunny tense up against him before she leaned back just enough to look at him.
"I... I haven't looked it up yet. I-I mean, I just found out that I'm pregnant right before I told you. B-But if there had been a case like ours before, it would have made the news, wouldn't it?" Though her voice was quivering and bare of confidence.
Nick swallowed the disbelief that he felt at her words and forced his ears to not lay back against his skull in indignation.
He gave his bunny's nose a comforting lick, seeing how it had started to twitch the moment the doe had realized that in her fear she might have jumped to conclusions.
Sensing that his mate was already starting to beat herself up over it, he gently put his paw to her chin, prompting the doe's gaze - which she had averted before - to move back to him.
"Shall we start with that, then?"
With a small nod and soft hum Judy agreed, reluctantly leaving the reynard's embrace to fetch her laptop.
Moving to the kitchen, they sat down at the table. Once the laptop had booted up, Nick called up Zoogle and entered the keywords 'interspecies', 'predator', 'prey', and 'offspring'.
Most of the results they got were either about movies and novels that focused on that topic - mostly in a not very comforting manner since quite a number of them belonged into the horror genre - or redirected them to different forums where mammals discussed the possibilities of conception between predator and prey.
Judy was quickly losing heart, and with each passing post that was just filled with theories and assumptions with no concrete answers, Nick had more trouble to keep up his confident poker face.
Then they saw it.
One post included a link to a hospital in Zootopia.
Following that link, they were redirected to the site of a smaller clinic located in the Rainforest District, in Ficus Grove, right behind Downtown.
"MD Catherine Beare, gynecologist and specialist for interspecies conception," Nick read out loud the title and name of the smiling red panda whose picture was shown on the site.
"But it says nothing here about pred-prey couples," Judy stated, her eyes skimming the short text on the page.
The fox opened another link and was presented with a gallery of happy mixed couples and their offspring, smiling at them blissfully from the screen.
Scrolling down, he almost missed the one couple that stood out from the rest if not for his mate's sudden outcry and claw that was pointed at a particular picture.
A male lion had his arm around a zebra mare, holding her tight to his side with a gentle expression. Both mammals were looking down at the little bundle of fur they were holding up.
At first glance, the cub... or foal looked like an okapi, though at closer inspection it was evident that its muzzle was too short, its ears too small and its color was off, with the sand-colored fur on its back, stomach, and neck.
Not to mention that it had paws instead of hooves. Mammals who didn't know and weren't on the lookout to spot those differences would probably still think it was just a very light colored okapi.
"I guess we've found the place where we will get our answers, Fluff," Nick stated, glancing at the doe beside him.
For a long moment, the humming of the fridge was the only sound in the small kitchen.
The reynard reached for his mate's paw, giving it a short squeeze.
Facing towards the tod, Judy hesitated for another heartbeat before she gave him a nod accompanied by the smallest hint of a smile.
Taking a deep breath, Judy picked up the phone she had placed next to her on the table and dialed the number written on the screen.
While listening to the free line signal, she felt Nick grabbing one of her feet.
The fox began rubbing it soothingly, and Judy realized that with her rising nerves, she had started to thump it against one of the chair's legs.
Looking at her fox appreciatively, she saw the fond expression on his face before he shot her a playful wink that even forced a short giggle from the bunny. The calming effects of his gentle paws and easy behavior made Judy relax in her seat.
Only to almost jump out of it when the call connected.
"Mickey-Tiguar-Hospital, Department of Gynecology and Cross-Species Conception, Dr. Beare speaking. How can I help you?"
Her mind decided to draw a blank at that moment, leaving some silence-filled seconds in the wake of the Doctor's words, before Judy finally forced out a stammered answer.
"M-my name is Judy Hopps and... and well... we are... I-I mean I am... I'm pregnant."
Her last words were barely more than a breathless whisper, the doe's lungs void of air.
A large paw started rubbing her back, trying to help her loosen up, even if only slightly.
"Inhale, Sweetheart," the voice of her fox breathed into her ear.
The bunny briefly closed her eyes, forcing herself to take some deep gulps of air.
She almost missed the answer from the red panda at the other end of the line.
"I'm sorry, could you repeat that, please?" Judy asked in an apologetic voice.
"I just wanted to know if I'm right in assuming that the father is a different species than you?" the mammal inquired in a soft, patient voice.
The doe was pretty sure to hear a smile in the way she talked and leaned back into her seat, feeling momentarily calmer.
"He's my mate. And yes, we're are not the same species. Actually, we... we are predator and prey," Judy added.
"And now you are uncertain as to what you have to expect."
It wasn't a question but merely a statement.
The doe affirmed it and braced herself for the inevitable blow, the declaration that it would be more than just a tad difficult and that her chances were low, to say the least.
The blow never came.
Instead, typing could be heard at the other end of the line.
"You are lucky, Miss Hopps," Dr. Beare spoke up after a moment. "Someone had to cancel their appointment today, so if you and your mate are free, you could come by, and I would try to answer all your questions."
Nick, who had been watching his bunny throughout her whole conversation with the red panda observed how her facial expressions changed from tension to surprise to reluctance and whipped back to tension.
"We... have a day off, yeah... okay... yes, we'll be there. Goodbye."
When Judy ended the call, she looked at the device in her paw like it was a strange, otherworldly being that eluded her comprehension.
Without facing Nick, she repeated what she had agreed on with Dr. Beare; that they would visit her in the clinic at 6 pm.
Suddenly the doe started shaking, tears streaming down her cheeks from one second to the next.
Shocked by Judy's sudden emotional outburst, the reynard couldn't do much besides pulling her into a gentle embrace once more, trying to soothe her with soft words while tenderly rubbing his mate's ears.
When her sobs finally subsided, and her paws stopped clenching at the front of the tod's shirt, Nick couldn't bear it any longer.
Not knowing what was haunting his mate was almost worse than witnessing her distraught state.
"Fluff... Judy, please, can you tell me what it is that you fear so much?" he asked, still holding the bunny tight, paws caressing her back. "What you told me earlier wasn't what you are actually afraid of, right? And it's not just the unknown either, is it?"
He didn't saw how Judy bit her lower lip to stop it from quivering. But he felt her shaking her head against his chest.
After a moment, she hesitantly started to speak.
"Part of what I told you was true, the rest was… panic."
The doe was shaking a little, feeling lost and barely being able to understand her own actions.
"You said that you know my strength and how I have always been able to fight my fears, no matter what. But this… Nick, this is different. It's not something I can fight. It's not about standing up for something. It's no mammal, no prejudice, no social norm I can try to change, it's…"
The doe trailed off, seemingly unable to find the words or the will to continue.
After some time that felt like a grueling, silence filled eternity but likely lasted no longer than two minutes, she started speaking again, her voice barely more than a breath.
"You know about my family. How big it is and how many siblings I have."
The tod hummed affirmatively, "three hundred and thirteen by now, right?"
"Mhm. But... there could... there could have been more," she continued, her words strained and weak, telling of more tears that might flow.
Nick waited for his mate to resume, not wanting to pressure her.
Inside the bunny the truth she wanted to tell Nick and her fears and tears were fighting.
"Not all of my mom's pregnancies went well," she told him in a barely audible whisper. "Sometimes, there had been complications. Some of my siblings hadn't even lived a day, some were stillborn or died from crib death. My mom had lost some kits through miscarriage. A-and even some of my sisters or mates of my brothers... Nick, we are entirely different species. H-how could we even hope that these k-kits... t-that they d-don't..."
Unable to finish her sentence, the doe buried her face against the fox's chest, which to him felt tight from the painfully beating heart inside.
The tod cupped his mate's cheeks with one paw, prompting the trembling bunny to look at him, eyes glassy.
He gave her nose a comforting lick. "I'm scared as well, Sweetheart."
"You are?"
Nodding, the reynard gave her a soft, sad smile.
"I'm not an only kit for no reason. Litters with a single kit are rare for foxes. We should have been a litter of two, but my brother was stillborn."
Nick watched when the first tears started to move down his bunny's cheeks slowly and gently wiped them away.
"But my parents loved me nevertheless. They never regretted having me; never regretted trying in the first place. They told me that often enough after I found out about my brother."
"And right now, " he added after pressing a soothing kiss between Judy's ears, "we don't know what to expect or what we can do. Maybe this pregnancy will be more difficult than a usual one, maybe not. But that's what this appointment is for. So we can find out and learn about what options we have, so we can give these kits the best chance at living instead of taking it from them. Fretting, angsting, and imagining the worst possible outcome will do us no good."
It was one of the moments where Nick was grateful for his conmammal-past which allowed for him to remain calm and composed on the outside, despite the commotion that took place inside of him.
It barely was noon, yet the day had been full of ups and downs, unexpected joy and despair switching positions in seconds, and the added weight of his mate's fears he hadn't known about until then.
Leaning her head back against the fox's chest, Judy pondered his words.
She still felt tense about the uncertain future that stretched out in front of her... of them, but the sense of hopelessness that had constricted her since this morning had dimmed, fading to a bearable level.
And his words had hit a nerve.
She had been so focused on what might happen to their kits that she had forgotten that there was a way to fight for them. That she wasn't as helpless as she had felt.
"But what can we do now? It's still five hours until we'll meet with Dr. Beare." The thought alone almost drove the doe crazy.
The tod appeared to be deep in thought for a moment before a smile showed on his face.
"How about Adrian or Aiden for a boy and Sarah for a girl?"
Looking momentarily confused, Judy quickly caught on, the corners of her muzzle slightly turning upwards.
"I'd rather name a girl if we have one Skye if that's okay with you?"
Nick's ears stood up in surprise.
"In that case, I guess we should name a boy Jack, don't you think? He might feel miffed otherwise. You know that he can be a wuss at times." he added with a laugh.
The doe agreed, the meek traces of a smile widening into a genuine one.
For the first time since Judy had left the bathroom, her ears started to rise, and her posture seemed more relaxed with her mind being occupied by more positive things to ponder.
She grabbed her mate's paw when an idea struck her.
"Wouldn't it be great to have them as godparents?"
The excitement that suddenly radiated from the lagomorph send Nick's tail into a happy little wag, relieve flooding him when the Judy he knew seemed to show again.
Squeezing her paw, he gazed at his mate lovingly. "I like that idea."
"But maybe we should choose different names, then. Skye and Jack with their godparents Jack and Skye? That might be a bit too much," the tod added with a chuckle.
"And what about the others?" the doe asked after a brief silence.
"The others?" the fox tilted his head sideways in a confused manner.
"Well, bunny litters usually consist of more than two kits."
Living his life as an only kit, Nick had forgotten that his family had been special in that regard.
"Oh, right. Fox litters, too, are normally bigger than that."
They kept on discussing names until they had enough even in case they ended up with four or five kits of the same sex.
Time passed by while they made plans for how they could rearrange the apartment to make room for their litter, considering if moving wouldn't be the better option.
They wondered if the little ones would end up having the canines of their dad or the buckteeth of their mom or maybe both? Or would it differ between them?
Would they have long protruding muzzles or short ones?
Long, ears with round tips or short, pointy ones?
Red fur or grey?
A wild mix of everything?
"Maybe," Nick smirked, "one will look like Finnick. Long, fluffy tail, long muzzle with canines, big ears, and short stature."
An amused snort escaped the doe before she could put her paw over her muzzle to trap it inside.
Looking at each other, they broke out into laughter.
Though, both decided for themselves that they should not mention this in the sand-colored vulpine's presence if they valued their lives.
By that time they had long since moved back to the couch.
Nick was sitting in one corner, leaning against the armrest with a pillow in his back. Judy had taken her place in his lap, reclining against the fox, a position they had come to love when relaxing after a tiring day at work.
Nick's arms were slung around her, their intertwined paws resting on her stomach, with one of his padded thumbs gently rubbing over the doe's velvety knuckles.
Judy's foot twitched subtly when the tip of the reynard's tail that was draped over her legs tickled her while wagging oh so slightly.
But as soon as the time had come for them to leave for their appointment, Judy tensed up.
As much as the last couple of hours had helped her to relax, to temporarily forget about her anxieties, as strongly were they coming back for her once reality called.
Though a reassuring lick over her cheek from the fox that she loved helped her calm down.
"Are you ready, Carrots?" the fox hadn't let go of his mate yet, knowing by now that it might take more than positive thinking for the doe to find back to her usual upbeat, go-getter self.
Squeezing Nick's paw once in assurance, Judy gave him a brief nod before reluctantly climbing out from the fox's warm embrace.
It was strange how Judy, who had faced a lot of uncertainties in her life which she had always taken head-on with confidence and a smile, felt almost overwhelmed by trepidation from heading out for her appointment.
Seeking strength from her mate, the doe grabbed his paw.
She was grateful for the reassuring squeeze that was Nick's reaction to it.
Feeling like she was heading into battle, Judy left the apartment, her beloved fox close by her side.
Luckily, they could go the whole way by sub without changing lines in between.
The downside was that there wasn't anything to distract her from her thoughts, leaving her to struggle with her troubled mind.
It was hard to miss how nervous the bunny was. So much so that a concerned billy goat approached them, asking if the fox next to her was bothering her.
Things like that had happened before, but Judy had always replied politely, staying friendly all the time while telling these mammals off, stating that no, her mate wasn't bothering her.
That she snapped at somebody, told them to leave them alone while scooting closer to him was new, though.
It caught the goat as off-guard as it did Nick, leaving both mammals wide-eyed.
When the caprine hurried away with a mumbled apology, Judy relaxed again.
But it was evident that she wouldn't budge from the fox's side, and Nick put his arm around her, giving her as much comfort as possible.
And drawing as much comfort as possible from her in turn, since he felt just as tense as his bunny.
He wasn't made of stone, after all.
Just a few stops after that they exited the sub and entered the lush thicket of the Rainforest District.
The closer they got to their destination - following a winding path of tree-platforms and wooden bridges connecting them - the tighter Judy's grip on Nick's paw got.
The bunny's strength wasn't new to him, even though it tended to surprise mammals who had never met her, and he suppressed the wince that tried to escape him.
Instead, he let his tail find its way around her waist, entangling her in a protective manner and causing the doe to raise her eyes from an unseen point in the distance towards the fox right next to her.
Meeting his warm, soft gaze put her mind at ease. A little, at least.
When they were still a couple of minutes away, a lifted bridge forced them to stop while letting an airship pass through the narrow gap between the trees.
Nick used the opportunity to open the folding umbrella the doe didn't even realize her mate had taken along.
Just on cue, the sprinklers hidden in the foliage above them came to live, soaking the whole district around.
Judy leaned against her fox not only so both would fit beneath the umbrella but also because she was seeking his closeness.
To others, it must appear to be a romantic gesture, but Nick knew that his mate was distressed and needed his strength, which he was more than willing to lend to his usually tougher half.
Under the steady, rapid beating of the downpour playing out its unique cadence, they continued once the bridge had lowered again.
To Judy, it almost seemed as if the sound of the rain drowned out every other noise around them, besides the rhythm of her mate's heartbeat and breathing; a soothing song she had half forgotten until now.
Slowly, their destination came into view. The path they followed was leading up to the backside of the clinic and around.
While walking by, they saw that some branches of the tree it was located on were sculptured in a way that their leaves created a kind of hedge, probably to provide an outdoor area for the patients to enjoy and get some fresh air without being exposed to the curious views from passersby, while some of the upper branches created a living roof, shielding the mammals beneath from the recurring, artificial rainfall.
The building itself seemed to be part of the tree, some extensions protruding from its thick trunk here and there, but also with many windows directly inserted into the wood.
When they reached the front entrance of the Mickey-Tiguar-Hospital, the doe felt calmer.
The weight of her fears still sat heavily on her shoulders but was bearable to her right at that moment.
Upon entering the building, it was like she lost something as soon as they were out of the rain and surrounded by the usual noises of a hospital; the coughing and groaning, the nurses talking quietly to patients and visitors, the clacking sounds of the occasional mammal passing by on crutches.
"Excuse me." Nick's voice jerked the bunny out of her thoughts.
They had reached the front desk without Judy noticing it, making her realize once more how out of it she was.
The gazelle in her white attire sitting behind the desk looked up from the screen of her computer, directing her gentle brown-eyed gaze towards the vulpine standing in front of her and a moment later towards the lagomorph as well, as soon as she noticed her.
"Yes? How may I help you?" Her voice was melodious and kind.
With a soft smile, the tod answered "We are looking for a Dr. Beare. We have an appointment with her."
Corners of her lips rising, the bovine pointed across the foyer.
"The elevators are over there. Just go up to the third floor, turn right when you leave it and simply follow the signs on the wall. You can't miss it."
"Thanks."
The young couple made to head over to the wall pointed out by the nurse.
"I think you look perfect together."
The softly-spoken words stopped them in their tracks before they made even one step.
Facing towards the gazelle once more - their surprise evident - they were met with a genuine smile, extending not only to the reynard but his mate as well.
It almost startled Nick when he heard Judy's voice, warm and full of gratitude.
"Thank you."
Giving them a small nod, the gazelle focused back on her work.
With a lingering feeling of surreality, Judy looked up at her mate who shot her a quick wink before squeezing her paw gently, prompting her with a minute movement of his muzzle to continue towards their destination.
Inside the small cabin, Judy leaned against her fox. During the next couple of minutes, they would find out what they'll have to expect in the future, what they could do about it and what they might have to face.
You have come this far now, Judy. You will face reality and not run from it again, no matter how hard it will be. You have Nick by your side, and the both of you can still decide on what you want to do after talking to the doctor.
Taking some deep breaths, the doe tried to force down a sudden surge of panic.
A soft sensation on her head jerked her out of her thoughts.
Looking up at the fox who had just placed a kiss between her ears, Judy realized they had already reached their floor.
When she left the elevator at Nick's side, her legs felt a little shaky, but her mind was calm again thanks to him.
Though she couldn't help but admit that the emotional back and forth was slowly taking its toll on her.
They followed the signs on the wall as they had been instructed, but the closer they got, the louder the doe's heart was beating in her own ears until it drowned out every other sound around her.
Her vision narrowing, she could feel her head growing light.
Just a few steps away from their destination, she almost fell if not for the tod who hadn't let go of her paw the entire time.
Though it had been the tod who had caused her to lose her balance in the first place, pulling her back and effectively stopping her.
His paws on her shoulders were keeping her steady, and as soon as Judy turned around, she met Nick's concerned gaze.
He had apparently picked up on her inner turmoil.
Seeing his nose twitch, she realized that he was sniffing the air and that it was most probable her scent that gave the state of her mind away.
The fox squatted down to be at eye-level with his mate, one of his paws moving from her shoulder down to her waist, the other one cupping her cheek oh so gently.
He leaned forward until their foreheads touched, noses apart by just a hair's breadth.
The doe's rapidly beating heart was slowing down once more while they silently shared their breaths until Nick spoke.
"It's going to be alright, Judy. We will get through this, together. I'm here, you hear me? I'm by your side, and I won't budge. That's a promise."
With her eyes growing misty, Judy grabbed the tod's tie and pulled him a little lower, unable to stop herself from chinning him across his muzzle, to mark him, to claim him, to show the whole world that this wonderful, sweet fox was hers.
Before she could draw back, Nick pulled her closer again, rubbing the side of his muzzle along her cheeks to leave his scent on her as well.
Feeling like herself again, Judy reached for the tod's paw and approached the consulting office that held the answers she sought and dreaded at the same time.
Eyeing the door with doubt, she took a deep breath in an attempt to steel her nerves.
"Are you ready, Fluff?"
Exhaling, the air left her lungs in an audible draft while she raised her paw...
"No."
... before she knocked.
The voice that answered them from the other side of the wood was gentle and just a tad authoritative.
"Come in."
Inside they were not met with the sterile white walls of an ordinary doctor's office.
Instead, the whole room gave off a warm, welcoming atmosphere.
The deep-pile carpet they were standing on was a dark red, while the wallpaper was of a tawny orange.
Dark brown bookshelves lined the walls, and Judy couldn't help but notice a small plant pot containing spanish moss sitting on top of one of them as well as a hare's foot fern next to the only window, just outside of the direct sunlight that might or might not find its way down through the Rainforest District's lush canopy.
Tillandsia usneoides and davallia bullata, she recalled their scientific names.
Though she had never been able to find any resemblance between the fern and a hare's hind paw.
The middle of the room was occupied by a desk that seemed a little too big for the red panda sitting behind it.
Doctor Beare waited patiently for the two mammals to step closer before gesturing them to sit down in the chairs right in front of the desk.
"You must be Miss Hopps and her mate," she smiled at them, noticing how the tod's tail found its way into the doe's lap immediately after they sat down, where it was petted by one of her paws while the other one subconsciously reached out for his.
"Nick Wilde," the fox introduced himself.
"Thank you for seeing us on such short notice Doctor Beare," Judy added.
"Please, just call me Catherine or better yet, Cat."
The bunny's ears which had been laid back from the moment she had entered the room rose just a little, making it evident that she was relaxing by at least a fraction.
With a nod, Judy thanked the ailurid¹.
"Now, you must have quite a lot of questions, so I'll try to answer all of them before I start asking mine."
Feeling her nerves rising once more now that she would get the answers she had been looking for, for the better or worse, Judy felt Nick giving her paw a squeeze.
Facing him, she saw the words he had told her before still lingering in his gaze.
A silent promise.
Bracing herself for the impact, she took a deep breath before asking what was causing her the most distress.
"How high are the chances of a miscarriage or that our kits will be born with... disabilities?"
Folding her paws, the red panda's gaze wandered from Judy to Nick and back, addressing both mammals at the same time.
"The possibility that one of those things happens is always there, and depending on your health and if there are any predispositions running in either of your families the chance of it to happen varies. But if your question is if the chances are higher than for a regular couple since you are different species, then the answer is no."
The doe's ears shot up in surprise. That wasn't what she had expected. Far from it.
Heck, she hadn't even dared to hope for an answer like this, and now the bunny was doubting her hearing.
The silence that had followed the doctor's statement stretched almost into a full minute before Judy found her voice again.
"I'm... I'm sorry, Cat, but could you please repeat that?"
Seeing the uncertainty in the eyes of the female sitting across from her, the female predator's features softened some more.
She often had couples or even singles sitting here who were unable to wrap their heads around the fact that they had a chance to have kits with members from another species in the first place, not even talking about the missing increase in risks for them or their theoretical offspring.
So it was no wonder that the bunny in front of her had trouble believing in the words she had just been told.
"I understand that it seems impossible that two entirely different species could have offspring without facing any consequences from a biological point of view, but it's the truth.
The biggest hurdle most couples have to take is conception.
The chances for interspecies couples - no matter if they are two predators, two prey or a mixed couple like you - to get pregnant in the first place is lower than it is for same-species couples.
But considering that you have already taken that hurdle," an amused sparkle came to the red panda's eyes, causing Judy's ears to turn a light shade of pink, "your pregnancy will be a regular one. Well, more or less, that is."
"What do you mean by that," Nick inquired, asking for clarification concerning Cat's last comment.
Quickly raising a paw to wave off the worries she could already see reappearing on the young couple's faces, the ailurid explained.
"The thing is, since you two are species with different gestation lengths there is no telling at this time how long it will take until your kits are born. Since we are only talking about a one month gap here, though, we at least know it will take between one and two months."
Both young mammals relaxed back into their seats, not even realizing that they had leaned forward in anticipation of the doctor's answer.
"Also, Judy, you will probably experience cravings that are different from the ones other lagomorphs have. We are talking about an appetite for protein-rich foods like insects, fish or poultry."
Looking a tad bashful, the doe quickly averted her gaze, the faintest trace of a smile appearing on her face.
"I... don't think that will be much of a problem," she admitted after a moment, drawing a chuckle from her mate.
The quizzical look on the ailurid's face prompted Nick to elaborate.
"Let's just say that this specific bunny has a somewhat predatory side to her."
His comment earned him a slight shove from the lagomorph, and after another second had passed, understanding dawned on Cat, causing an amused snort to leave her muzzle before she could stop it.
"I'm sorry. But that's good then. At least we won't have much trouble adjusting your diet."
The smile she was wearing was returned by the couple, both mammals evidently more relaxed than when they had passed the threshold to her office.
"What about the litter size? How many kits can we expect?" Nick spoke up after a moment.
Contemplating the question Cat leaned back in her chair.
"There isn't much difference in litter sizes when it comes to vulpines and lagomorphs, but considering that the young ones will be slightly bigger than a regular bunny, you can expect a smaller litter. Judy, your body won't allow more than it could handle, so you will probably have two, maybe three at the most."
She could see the tip of the fox's tail start to wiggle and wag in Judy's lap and had to bite her lower lip to not laugh out loud at the sight of the vulpine's happy telltale sign.
"So, if you don't have any more questions for now...?"
Nick looked at his mate, and when the doe shook her head, he did as well.
"In that case, I have some for you."
The red panda grabbed a pen and small notebook.
While flipping through the pages to find an empty one, Nick opened his muzzle to comment on the fact that she was using such a dated item instead of just writing it down on her computer.
But a quick prod into his side stopped him.
Looking at the doe next to him, he saw the smirk on her face, and her threateningly raised elbow, ready to strike again.
This bunny knows me too well.
His amused thought was hidden by an eye-roll, causing his mate to shake her head about the incorrigible tod.
The whole, short exchange had gone unnoticed by the older female.
When Cat looked up again from her notebook, she had the slightest feeling she had missed something, judging from the teasing sparkle in the doe's eyes and the faint trace of a lopsided grin on the reynard's muzzle.
With a mental shrug, she banned the thought from her mind before starting to ask her questions.
Working down her usual list, she inquired about their physical condition, clinical history and known allergies and diseases.
With their agreement, she also took some blood samples in a small, white-tiled room adjacent to her office, to make sure they hadn't missed something.
"Let's just assume I have no idea why you are taking blood from me as well," Nick suddenly piped up afterward.
Judy had to focus immensely on not letting the amused giggle that she felt coming at his comment escape her muzzle. She was always surprised how her big, strong predator of a mate, who was also her partner at the ZPD had such a hard time not to let his fur puff out whenever someone with a syringe or cannula came too close.
"I mean, isn't it just important that the mother's blood is alright?" he continued in an attempt to hide his... discomfort.
The red panda had picked up on the fox's slight distress and had a hard time keeping a chuckle in.
She knew that some mammals couldn't help it and that belonephobia² wasn't amusing, especially not to the mammals in question.
"Of course it is important that we monitor the mother's blood values. But blood can tell us more than just if someone is healthy or not at the moment. There are some diseases which root in a genetical abnormality that could be inherited by one or more of the kits, and some of those diseases leave traces or 'marker' in the blood. So by analyzing the father's blood, we can look for those and be prepared."
"I see, I see," the fox nodded slowly, having only understood half of what the doctor had told him, but decided to take it at face value.
Turning back towards the doe, Cat continued.
"I don't think I have to tell you, Judy, but no smoking and no alcohol for you from now on until your kits are born. Better yet, no smoking afterward as well."
"Neither of us smokes," the bunny answered.
"And we rarely drink. Only on special occasions," her mate added.
The ailurid nodded in acknowledgment, making another note.
"I would also ask you if you are working out on a regular base, but considering you are both police officers, I guess that goes without saying, right?"
Both mammals looked at her with wide eyes.
"We haven't mentioned that, have we?"
The fox shook his head, a smirk slowly showing on his face while he turned towards Judy.
"But I guess it's just natural that some mammals remember the heroes of Zootopia," he laughed.
"Oh come on, Nick. That had been two years ago, and we haven't arrested any more mayors since then."
There was a light chuckle in the bunny's voice.
That, as well as the laid-back attitude she was showing, gave the reynard some peace of mind, making him believe that Judy was finding back to herself again.
"We haven't arrested any more mayors yet," he let the tip of his tail - which was once more resting in the doe's lap - flick teasingly, brushing against her nose and causing Judy to sneeze.
An amused snort drew their attention back to the third mammal in the room, which had gone forgotten during the couple's little banter.
"You probably don't like to hear that, Judy, but Nick is correct. I remember the Nighthowler Conspiracy - I recall it being called this - and your involvement in it."
A sigh escaped the bunny's muzzle. "You have no idea, Cat. I hate it when Nick is right. Though it tends to happen more often than I want to admit."
The red panda waited for the tod's reaction to his mate's comment.
When nothing happened besides the fox gazing intently into space, her eyes flickered back to Judy.
The doe was looking at her mate with a smug smile on her face.
Her paws were fiddling with the tip of Nick's tail.
Looking back at him, Cat saw the slight tremble in the tod's ears, the almost invisible twitch in his eyes, the barely noticeable shudder that went through his body whenever the doe gently twisted and turned the appendage.
And when Judy softly tugged at the tip, a just audible yip escaped the reynard.
"A-alright, that's enough," he huffed, not entirely able to hide his panting when he quickly withdrew his tail from the doe's dangerous paws' reach.
Looking quite flustered, he added a whispered "Naughty bunny," after a moment.
Cat couldn't help but admire those two.
She had witnessed her fair share of heartache and tears from mammals sitting across from her in those seats.
If it wasn't just one lonely female.
But this time? A fox and a rabbit? Ancient enemies?
No, these two were perfect, as if they were made for each other.
Subtly, she scented the air once more and caught a whiff of the mark they had left on each other probably just before they had entered her office.
To her, it spoke volumes about their bond, how they supported each other while facing the uncertainties they must have felt lay before them.
Cat watched when the doe gestured for her fox's tail with outstretched arms, barely holding in a laugh when she saw the doubtful expression on his face before he reluctantly let it slip back into Judy's lap, where she gently petted it once more.
The red panda couldn't stop her chuckle, though, when the gentle touch drew a purr from the vulpine.
Both mammals' ears swiveled towards her, insides turning bright red upon realizing that they were still in the presence of the ailurid.
With equally embarrassed expressions they focused back on the small predator, and Cat thought once more to herself how well they fitted each other.
With another soft chuckle that caused their blushes to deepen, the doctor folded her paws on her desk.
"There is one more thing I have to ask before we can conclude this appointment, as long as you don't have any more questions afterward."
Both fox and rabbit regarded her with equally curious expressions.
"I have mentioned before that the chance of disabilities and miscarriage is higher in case there are predispositions running in your families. Do you know of any such?"
Nick shook his head and glanced at the doe next to him, who had waited for his reaction before following suit and turning back towards Cat.
"Good, but still you should probably ask just to be on the safe side. And now-"
"Wait a moment," Nick interrupted the surprised red panda. "There is actually something I'd like to know before we go."
Both females gave the tod an inquiring look, waiting for him to continue.
"You said earlier that pregnancies for interspecies couples are essentially not different from .. well, regular ones. Without trying to belittle what you are doing here, but what exactly is a specialist for cross-species conception doing?"
"Nick!" Judy's ears had fallen behind her head in shock upon the reynard's question, her eyes wide in disbelief.
A soft whimper escaped his muzzle.
"Carrots, the tail, the tail!" Suprised, the bunny let go of the appendage which she had squeezed maybe a little harder than she should have, an apologetic expression appearing on her face.
Chuckling, the smaller predator across from them shrugged it off.
"Don't worry, Judy. I'm not offended by this question. I hear it quite often, to be honest. Though rarely phrased as politely as this."
"And to answer it," she continued, "you have to realize that very, very few doctors know exactly what each fetus for every specific species has to look like while growing inside the female's womb. It's no wonder, considering how many evolved mammals we are talking about and how different many aspects of a pregnancy can be for those species. And when it comes to cross-species conception, all those concepts get mixed up, resulting in embryos of varying shapes and sizes. Someone like me has studied intensely to gather as much knowledge as possible about all those species and has to be very adaptive in their thinking to realize if something is off with the life growing inside of a mother so that we can respond as early as possible should the need arise."
The doe's ears went down halfway, a quizzical look appearing on her face.
"I see," the fox spoke up, a small smile on his face.
"Sometimes, things don't go the way you intend them to, so you have to be able to pick up on those little signs, be quick in your thinking, and work with what you got to reach the goal you have aimed for."
Ears shooting up again, Judy gazed at her mate in surprise.
She knew those words.
Nick had often described to her what it had been like to be a conmammal, and how often his hustles hadn't worked the way he planned them to.
A plan is often just a list of things which do not happen, was a way he liked to phrase it.
He had to improvise, steering the situation in a preferable direction while playing it by ear.
Looking back at the doctor, she saw that Cat was wearing a small smile of her own, both mammals silently agreeing.
"If that answers your question and you haven't anything else you'd like to know, I would suggest we set a date for your next appointment, Judy. You will also have to come by twice a week for the next two to three weeks. This way, we will be able to observe the development of the fetuses and make sure that everything is alright with them and their mommy."
That last comment charmed a smile from the doe and with a nod she signaled that she understood.
"After that," the red panda continued, "weekly will be enough since you will be pretty much in the green by then and we will most likely be able to estimate the due date."
When they left the hospital, Nick was relieved to find that his mate appeared to be much calmer.
Though he didn't miss that she was still deep in thought and awfully quiet throughout their walk back towards the subway station as well as during their ride home.
Deciding that the overfilled cart of a sub wasn't the right place to ask what was troubling her, the tod chose to wait until they would be back at their apartment.
Admittedly, it made him nervous how he caught Judy stealing glances at him now and then, her ears twitching like they wanted to lower themselves every time before she caught herself and forced them to stay up.
What have I missed?
Have I done something wrong?
Oh in the name of Maid Marian, I didn't do something to upset her today of all days, did I?
Now it was him who had to keep his ears and especially his tail from twitching nervously while he mentally skimmed through everything that happened today, looking for something he needed to apologize to his love before it was too late.
Both mammals were so deep in thought that they almost missed their stop.
With a jump, the tod bolted out of his seat, and quickly took his bunny by her paw, leading her out of the sub moments before the doors closed.
Reaching their apartment, Nick hadn't even a chance to ask Judy what it was that lay so heavy on her mind.
As soon as the door clicked shut and he turned towards her, a grey ball of fur hit him, causing him to lose his footing and stumble against the door, sliding down the wood until he was sitting on the floor.
The sobbing bunny he was holding in his arms startled him, causing only a surprised "What...?" to leave his muzzle.
His mind abuzz, he quickly embraced his mate, letting a paw run down her back and ears soothingly, as he had already done multiple times that day.
When he was finally about to ask Judy what had caused that emotional outburst, the doe beat him to it.
"I'm sorry. Nick, I'm so s-sorry. I was such a dumb b-bunny."
Her words were interrupted by small sobs and hiccups.
"What are you even apologizing for, Sweetheart?"
"B-because I had never thought about having kits. Have never ex-expected it to happen with y-you. And w-when it happened... I didn't know how to handle i-it. There were so many things I didn't know; so many th-things I was scared about: so many fears I just couldn't handle. Without you I... I might have done something I w-would have regretted later."
She buried her head against his chest, leaving her next words muffled.
"Thank you. Thank you for being h-here. Thank you for being with me. Thank you for being you. And thank you for staying with me, despite e-everything."
Another sob shook the bunny's frame and made Nick's heart ache even more, after all the things she had told him.
Before she could go on, the tod interrupted her.
"There is nothing to forgive, Judy."
He tightened his embrace just a little, giving his love a light squeeze and causing her to snuggle up to him even more.
"I can see that all of this must have been terrifying to you. I don't say I understand completely how you felt, but I don't have to to see how shaken you were; how distraught. I honestly had never expected this to happen to us, as well. I was overwhelmed when you told me this morning. Though, believe it or not, I had always dreamed of becoming a dad."
A soft smile was playing on the reynard's lips.
Judy lifted her head from his chest, looking at her mate with surprise.
"You... you did?"
The tod nodded, his smile growing a little wider.
"Right, your reaction this morning had surprised me. I would have never thought that the cynical pawpsicle-hustler I met years ago would have wanted to be a father, though."
Her tears had stopped by then, and the slightest smirk was adorning her muzzle.
Nick gently swiped some stray moisture from her cheeks with his thumb.
"That's why I said it was just a dream. After my dad had died when I was still young and since life dealt blow after blow to me at every chance, I wished I could have kits whom I could be there for. See them grow up; make them laugh whenever I could; have them live a happy childhood and show them that life can be good. But considering that I'm a fox and assuming they would be foxes as well - a species which I thought society would never let truly be happy - I believed I would never have a chance to make that dream come true. Just another one to add to the list."
He pressed a quick kiss on his bunny's nose.
"But then you came around, hopping into my life without warning. Turning everything upside down. I have loved you for doing so ever since. You gave me new hope. You became my new dream. You showed me that we really could make a change. A small bunny and a shady fox. My life had taken a new direction because of you. The mammals around us changed. Damned, we gave the impulse, and the whole city started to change as well, slowly but steadily. And now... now I'll have the chance to make this other dream come true as well. All because of you, Judy."
Her tears had started to flow again, though this time, they were ones of joy instead of sorrow and regret.
When cuddling up against her fox once more, she started tooth purring.
After a while, her cheeks had almost dried again. "Thank you, Nick."
Her words were soft and betrayed the exhaustion the doe felt at that point after everything this day had thrown at her.
Nick pressed a gentle kiss to the base of one of his mate's ears and continued to let his paws run down her back comfortingly.
"If it helps, I think you'll be a great mom," he whispered softly.
"What makes you say that?" Judy's was voice heavy as if she was already on the brink of falling asleep.
"You've grown up with more than two hundred siblings, quite some of them younger than you, so you have definitely seen your fair share of chaos while growing up and know how to handle kits. Two, three or even four of our own won't be a problem, I'm sure of that."
The reynard briefly nuzzled his mate's cheek affectionately before he continued.
"You are also one of the most amazing mammals I know. You are kind, caring and compassionate. You know how to give others hope, how to inspire them always to try their best, and how to instill in others the will to go on, even when they are down. I mean, look at me! You have caused cynical old me, who was always dancing on the line between legal and illegal, to become a cop and believe in myself and others again. And that all despite the fact that back then, you were nothing but a small, cute bunny in a meter maid outfit."
A weak cuff to his side was the lagomorph's only reaction to his use of the 'c' word.
With a small chuckle, he continued: "What I'm trying to say is, if there is one mammal suited to be a good mom - a mom that would be able to raise her kits to be just as perfect as she is - then it's you, Judy. And if you are patient enough to bear with me for as long as you did, then you will be able to deal with a bunch of kits as well, even when they are fifty percent mine."
Silence filled their home after Nick had finished, joining the twilight that had settled in by then, and for a moment, he thought the doe had fallen asleep.
But then she started talking in a soft voice.
"I think you will be a most wonderful dad as well. You are such a forgiving, patient mammal. If anybody knows that, it's me. And despite everything that has happened in your life, you had never really given up. There is a heart of gold beating in this chest. It has always been there, even if you had hidden it away for a while."
The tod opened his muzzle to tell her how cheesy that sounded, even after his own little speech.
But a soft 'thud' on his paw made him stop.
Looking at the spot, he glimpsed a small droplet of water.
After a second, he realized that it was a tear.
He was the one who cried, now.
As always, Judy had found her way straight to the very heart she had been talking about.
She had always been able to do this, even back when he still had his walls and masks to protect him.
Swiping away the tears with the back of his paw, he tried once more to answer to her sweet words, only to realize through the bunny's soft breathing that she had drifted to sleep at last.
Smiling down at the warm doe still clinging to him, Nick thought to himself that it had been a demanding day.
Trying not to wake her, the tod stood up as carefully as possible and started walking towards their bedroom with the slightly snoring grey ball of fluff in his arms.
Twilight was slowly turning into the darkness of the night, but the tod kept the lights off, relying only on his night vision to find his way.
When he attempted to gently let the doe down on the bed, he found that it might be a bit trickier than he had thought.
Judy was still clinging to him tightly, apparently unwilling to let go of her fox.
More than that, when Nick tried to pry the doe loose gingerly so he would be able to get ready for bed, she started to shift in her sleep, a protesting moan escaping her muzzle.
Afraid to rouse her by continuing, the fox relented.
With one arm slung around his bunny, he slowly wriggled out of his pants and let them fall into a heap on the ground.
The shirt was more difficult though, with Judy partially clinging to it, partially just trapping it between them.
Sitting down at the edge of the bed and shifting her around cautiously in his lap he was able to get rid of that part of clothing as well after a couple of minutes.
Thankfully, Judy had gotten rid of her jacket right upon entering their apartment.
Nick was convinced he wouldn't be able to remove any part of her clothing without waking her up, so he left her the way she was, lay down with the bunny - his beloved mate - in his arms and pulled the blanket over them.
Looking at her, he thought to himself that she could be a really clingy critter and quite a pawfull at times.
And I love her even more for that.
Slightly shifting in her sleep, the doe snuggled against his front, her nose burrowing itself into his chest fur.
While his body finally relaxed, his mind was wandering back to all the events of the day.
When they came rushing back to him, the sheer enormity of everything that had happened made his head reel.
He was going to be a dad.
Judy would be the mother of his kits.
Their relationship had taken on a whole new level despite how the day had started with a near catastrophe.
While sleep was constantly circling his mind on the back of his exhaustion, it seemed he wasn't ready to slip away yet.
He couldn't stop looking at Judy's sleeping form, marveling at the fact that he should really be that lucky.
For the briefest of moments he was afraid it was all just a dream, but right then the doe shifted a little in her sleep again.
The feeling of her fur brushing against his.
The little content sigh that escaped her.
Her warmth that seeped into him.
Her scent, still freshly mingled with his from them marking each other back at the hospital.
No, it was all real.
Real enough that he felt how tears started to form in his eyes once more.
A little voice that sounded like Finnick laughed at him from the back of his mind,
"Ya became such an emotional wuss since the bunny cop wrapped ya around her tiny, blunt claw, ya'aware of that?"
Nick agreed.
And he had never been happier to do so.
Placing his nose between the doe's ears, he finally closed his eyes and drifted into a dreamless slumber.
¹Red pandas are the only living species of the family Ailuridae. After misreading an article about them the first time, I thought they were part of the family mustelidae (like e.g. otter and weasel).
After declaring her a 'mustelid' a couple of times before realizing my mistake, I decided to go with something of a similar design and used an alteration of Ailuridae, namely "ailurid"
Using it for the first time felt strange, but after using and reading it multiple times I started to like it. What about you guys?
²Belonephobia = fear of needles