Total Drama All Stars: Heroes VS Villains

In the woods of Canada, there exists a peaceful summer camp where the birds are always chirping, the sun is always shining, and there is always a cool breeze blowing over the relaxing waters of the lake.

This story does not take place at that camp.

Instead, our story takes place at Camp Wawanawka, one the worst, run-down camps in all of Canada. Here, two men were finishing preparations for their fifth round of tormenting teenagers on international television.

"Ah, another season," Chris McLean said, taking a deep breath. "There's nothing quite like it, eh, Chef?"

"I dunno if we should be back here," Chef Hatchet said. "What if there's still some radioactive waste here?"

"Don't worry, the government says that the island is completely decontaminated now," Chris said. "That means the only toxic thing here will be...your cooking!"

"That's not funny, Man!" Chef shouted, while Chris snickered.

Chris patted his buddy on the back and adjusted his hair, which was unnecessary, because his hair already looked perfect. "We ready to get started?" Chris asked.

"Rolling cameras in three...two...one..."

"Hello, Total Drama fans!" Chris said to the camera. "For the past four seasons, we've been torturing your favorite teenage heroes. They've been forced to go through the sickest, craziest stunts imaginable, all in hopes of winning a million dollars."

Chris smiled for a moment, then frowned as he looked at Chef Hatchet. Chef scratched his head.

Chris coughed loudly. "Chef, that's your cue!" he whispered.

"What? Oh yeah!" Chef said. Reading off of a large cue card, Chef Hatchet asked, "But Chris, I was wondering, what happened to my favorite character?"

"An excellent question, Chef! We've gotten a lot of mail from fans, who want to see their favorite characters return. And we've been listening! This season, we're bringing back fourteen of the most popular participants in all of Total Drama history. You know them, you love them, and we're giving them another chance to win the million dollars today on Total...Drama...ALL STARS!"

*cue theme song*

Chris McLean casually strolled down the dock, flashing his winning smile at the camera. "Welcome back to Total Drama All Stars," he said. "As I said at the start of the program, we're bringing back fourteen of our former contestants to compete in this all star season. We've got the best of the goodies, and the worst of the baddies! Don't believe me? Well, doubt no longer, because heeeere they are now!"

A large white boat pulled into the dock, in front of Chris.

"Let's start with the ladies, shall we?" Chris asked. "Our first contestant starred in. Say hello to Lindsay!"

"Hi, Craig!" Lindsay said. "Oh my gosh, I am, like, sooo glad we're not doing the show any more! Going through all those challenges was, like, super stressful, you know?"

Chris blinked. "Um, Lindsay? The show is still going."

"It is?" Lindsay asked, confused. "But I thought it was over! You said I could stay home!"

"That was last season," Chris said. "We're starting a new season."

"Nooooo!" Lindsay cried. She tried to run back onto the boat. "I don't want to do another season! Take me back to Tyler!"

Lindsay was rudely pushed backwards by a shorter girl wearing a gray jacket. "Out the way, Blondie," she said.

"And this is Jo, our resident fitness expert," Chris said. "Nice to see you again, Jo! I hope there are no hard feelings from your elimination last year."

"Eat it, McLean!" Jo immediately shouted.

Chris winked at the camera. He loved it when the contestants had unresolved anger issues. It made everything more fun.

"And now for everyone's favorite psycho redhead, who went completely insane and started attacking the other contestants at the end of last season...Zoey!"

Zoey walked onto the dock, looking embarrassed. "I already apologized for that," she said. "It was a one-time-only thing. I'm still a good girl, right?"

"If you say so, Izzy," Chris said.

"Zoey!" Zoey said. "I'm nothing like Izzy!"

"Whatever," Chris said. "And now for a Total Drama classic rivalry, say hello to Gwen and Heather!"

The Goth girl and queen bee both left the boat, glaring angrily at each other.

"Hey, Chris, I can understand why I'm back, but what is she doing here?" Gwen asked. "I thought you said this season was for fan favorites, not the most hated Total Drama contestant ever."

"Please, like you're popular with anyone," Heather said.

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but I agree with Heather," Courtney said, stepping onto the dock. "What you did with Duncan in World Tour was completely inappropriate! You should be banned from this competition for life!"

"I actually thought that was the highlight of the season," said Sierra, who was following Heather. "Besides for all the parts with Cody in them, I mean."

"Yep, Courtney and Sierra are back, too," Chris said. "Those are our seven female competitors. Now for the six male competitors! Say hello to everyone's favorite videogame nerd...Sam!"

"Aw, man, I can't believe I'm back here again," Sam said. "I'm not very good at multiplayer games."

"We've also got the winner of last season, Lightning!"

"Awww yeah!" Lightning said, jumping off of the boat. "Lightning's back to win another round of this game! Sha-winner!"

"Um...dude? What's up with your hair?" Chris asked.

Lightning rubbed his head. His formerly dark brown hair was now colored white. "Well, after lightning hit The Lightning, Lightning's hair was lightened-ning!"

"Um...what?" Gwen asked.

"You look like an old grandpa," Scott said, scoffing.

"Farm Boy Scott is here for another round," Chris said. "How do you feel about your chances this year?"

"I'm feeling pretty good, thank you," Scott said. "I've been training my reflexes to prepare for any possible—" Scott's sentence was cut off unexpectedly, when he tripped over and fell on his face. "Ouch! Who put that rock there?!"

"For an extra dose of crazy, we brought back Multiple Personalities Mike!" Chris said.

"Mike!" Zoey cried.

"Zoey!" Mike said. "I missed you!"

"Oh, I missed you, too!" Zoey said. "I just didn't know how to get in contact with you after—"

"Save the lovebird stuff for later," Jo said. "We don't wanna hear it."

"Our next contestant has a name which starts with the letter 'C'," Chris said. "But that's probably the only thing he and I have in common! Say hello to C—"

"CODY! CODY!" Sierra shouted. She ran over to the diminutive camper and pulled him into a large hug. "I've missed you so much! I knew that restraining order wouldn't last forever!"

"Umf!" the boy whined.

"Uh, Sierra? That's Cameron," Chris said.

"Whoops! Heh heh...sorry," Sierra said, letting Cameron go. The former bubble boy collapsed on the ground.

"Uh, Chris?" Heather said. "Why are all these guys from last season?"

"Yeah, where are all the guys from my year?" Lindsay asked. "Like Brett or Gerald or Owen?"

"Or Ezekiel, eh?" a voice from the distance shouted.

Chris blinked. That heavy Canadian accent sounded extremely familiar.

"Don't worry, the next contestant was from the first three seasons," Chris assured everyone.

Courtney spoke up. "I'm fine with anyone, as long as it isn't—"

"DUNCAN!" Chris said, introducing the punk who won Season Two.

Courtney cursed loudly.

Duncan chuckled. "Whoa, better watch your language, Princess," he said. "We wouldn't want Daddy to get mad at you, would we?"

"I'm not your princess!" Courtney said.

Gwen smiled at Duncan. "You're looking extra-criminal today," she said.

"Annnnd that's it!" Chris said. "You are all of the contestants we've invited here for Total Drama All Stars!"

"Um...Chris?" Sierra asked. "Sorry to interrupt, but you said there would be seven male contestants."

"Yeah, I only count six of us," Mike said. "Who's missing?"

"Obviously, the Lightning is man enough for two dudes!" Lightning said.

"We were going to bring back Alejandro, but he's still injured from the volcano incident," Chris shrugged. "We've got the robot suit, but it's pretty much useless."

The robot suit containing Alejandro was rolled onto the dock, by one of the unpaid interns. Heather gasped slightly.

"I call it the Alejandrobot!" Chris said. "Clever, huh?"

The campers groaned in response, and Chris shrugged. "Can't win 'em all, I guess," he said. "Now, first things first. Before we start the competition, we're going to split you up into two different teams. And those teams are..."

Chris paused while Chef Hatchet started a drum roll.

"The Heroic Hamsters and the Villainous Vultures! That's right! It's Heroes VS Villains this season! And our villains are Duncan, Gwen, Alejandro, Heather, Jo, Lightning and Scott! Everyone else is a hero!"

"WHAT?" the entire group shouted.

Confession Cam - Yep, it's still in the toilet.

Heather: Why am I a villain? I'm a hero now! I won Season 3!

Gwen: Courtney? A hero? That girl does nothing but boss other people around!

Lightning: Chris must not have his head on straight! Lightning ain't no villain!

Zoey: Yay! I'm on the same team as Mike! And it's nice to know I'm on a team with people who won't stab me in the back...Scott.

Cameron: I guess being on the same team as Mike, Zoey and Sam will be okay. I don't know about the other people, though...I mean, did you see how that Sierra girl attacked me? I thought I was going to die! Too bad it was the first time I've ever been that close to a girl...

Alejandrobot: *beep*

Jo: So doing whatever it takes to win makes you a villain now? Why is everyone such a wimp when it comes to having a winning attitude?

Duncan: Yeah, I see what they're doing here. They're trying to get us to fight with each other, by saying we're the bad guys. Well, I'm not buying it. I'm not going play this stupid "heroes and villains" game.

Alejandrobot: *beep*

Lindsay: I'm, like, sooo glad I get to be on the nice team this year! Now there won't be anybody to boss me around and tell me what to do!

Courtney: Ugh! I have to lead this team of losers to finals? Getting them to follow orders is going to be a nightmare!

Sierra: Okay, I know this might sound weird, coming from the World's #1 Total Drama Superfan, but I don't actually know any of the people from Season Four. I never watched it! I've just been rewatching Total Drama World Tour for the past two years! I mean, duh, it's the best season of the show so far! That's the one with me and CODY! Speaking of which, why isn't Cody here this season?!

"Great, now that we've got our teams set up, it's time for our first challenge!" Chris said. "And by 'first challenge', I mean first challenge! It's the thousand foot cliff jump challenge from Season One!"

Sierra gasped. "The first challenge in Total Drama history!"

Chris nodded. "That's right! Since we've got a returning cast this year, we're going to be reusing the most popular challenges from the past four seasons! Get ready to relive your worst nightmares, here on Total...Drama...ALL STARS!"

Chris gave a double thumbs-up to the camera, and he didn't break his pose until the cameraman gave him the signal.

"Okay, commercial break time," Chris said. "Campers, change into swimming gear. We'll meet at the top of the cliff in twenty minutes. Chop chop!"

The teenagers split up and went to change into their bathing suits. Chris let out a happy sigh of relief. "Something tells me this'll be the best season yet," he said.

"Or maybe the worst season...for you, eh."

Chris gasped as an angry ex-camper with a sweatshirt, medallion and toque jumped out of the bushes.

"Zeke?" Chris asked. "But—you're supposed to be a weird monster creature!"

"Not anymore, eh," Ezekiel said. "I'm back to my old self, and this year, I'm gonna win. No matter what, eh."

Ezekiel swung a crowbar at Chris' head and knocked the host unconscious.