Story note: This story does not start out overly friendly to either Joe or Ranger, but neither is made into a complete and total sociopath or anything like that. Joe's pretty much a non-entity after the first few chapters, and Ranger's strange behavior will be explained by the end of the story. However, neither Ranger nor Joe gets the girl.

This is a Tart story. So if you can't stand to see Stephanie with anyone but Joe or Ranger, turn away now!

Just so you know, I *am* still working on Distracting Ranger, but while I work on it, I thought I'd start posting this story since it's mostly written already anyways. My goal is to post at least once per week.

It's not nearly as long as Stephanie's Great Escape or Loving Lester (at this point - my muse may hijack the story, which was the case with Loving Lester!), but I hope you enjoy it.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, alas. They all belong to Janet Evanovich, and I'm just playing with them.

Chapter 1: Steph & Terry do Trenton

Six weeks. It had been six weeks since I'd spoken to Ranger even though I knew he was still in town and not in the wind doing God knows what.

I knew this because I'd seen him on a couple of occasions but he was always mysteriously gone by the time I got close enough to say hi.

I shouldn't be shocked, it's not like it hadn't happened before. But I broke up with Joe six weeks ago and Ranger has, for all intent and purposes, vanished since then. It had happened before when I was on an off-phase with Joe, but this time the off-phase was permanent. I'd walked in to catch him having sex with Terry Gilman, his ex, and promptly declared myself his ex as well. Well, there were lots more curse words and hand gestures involved, but you get the gist.

And Terry had been under the impression that we were broken up at the time that she was boinking Joe, so she wasn't particularly happy with him either. She sent me flowers the next day to apologize, swearing that she would have never been with him except that he'd sworn that he and I had broken up for the last time.

The sentiment was right, but the timing was definitely off. As far as I was concerned, the fact that he'd spent the night with me the night before and we'd had a bit of morning delight before we left for our respective jobs did not imply broken up forever.

Terry asked me to lunch at Pino's later the week of my big discovery, and I agreed, mostly out of curiosity to find out what she wanted to talk about. Plus I figured it would make Joe sweat bullets to have two exes hanging out.

Terry simply wanted to discuss our mutual hatred of one Joseph Anthony Morelli and that we both make a sworn pact to never trust the slimy bastard ever again.

Plus the fact that every nosy busybody in the Burg was on the phone within seconds of our arrival together meant that Joe rushed into Pino's just as we finished appetizers.

He tried to amble up looking cool, but he was pale, shaky and sweaty. Not a good look, even for the Italian Stallion.

"Stephanie, Terry," he said with a nod as he tried to pull up a chair.

I stared at him. "I don't recall inviting you," I said in a cold voice.

Joe swallowed hard. "An oversight, I'm sure," he tried in an arrogant tone.

"No, it was intentional," Terry said equally as coldly. "You are not invited. Now leave."

"Cupcake," he said as he turned his brown puppy dog eyes on me. His lying, cheating eyes. "You want me to stay, right?"

"Hell, no! I want you to drop dead. But at a bare minimum, I want you to go away."

He swallowed again and looked between me and Terry. "Cupcake, it was just a mistake. Please, can't you forgive me? Give me one more chance?"

I saw Terry still and her blue eyes turn cold as ice. Oh, this should be fun!

"A mistake?" she said in a glacial voice. "I was a mistake?"

I saw the 'oh shit!' look on Joe's face as he realized what he said. "No, no, of course not," he tried to placate her.

"So then cheating on me was intentional then?" I asked in my own evil voice.

"No!" he tried. "It was just… uh… I was…." Stupid boy had no excuse and he knew it, but he was dumb enough to keep trying.

"It's just that you're a lying, cheating asshole with no respect for women?" I said helpfully.

"No!" he cried.

I sighed. "Buzz off, Morelli. We don't want to talk to you. So leave us alone or we'll file harassment charges. Or worse, she'll tell her Uncle Vito about your misbehavior."

Terry smiled and nodded. "I'm sure he'll hear about it either way, but annoying us will only make it worse. Much worse."

Joe shoved the chair back so hard that it fell to the ground with a loud crash. Way to draw every eye in the place, asshole. It's not like they weren't already looking but now they had a good excuse.

Moron.

He nodded quickly and then turned tail and ran away. Terry and I looked at each other and then busted out laughing. Very, very loudly. Joe jerked and turned back to look at us with a look of sheer panic on his face. Very good, Joe. Be afraid, be very afraid.

After we got our mirth under control, Terry and I actually had a very nice lunch. I'd hated her in high school because I had a major crush on Joe and she was dating him, but she'd never given a flying rip about me. After all, I was a geeky sophomore and she was the homecoming queen/ head cheerleader senior.

Then once we were adults, she'd pretty much hated me because I was dating Joe off and on, and she'd had a crush on him still, despite her marriage and subsequent divorce.

I'd always suspected that there was something more than just colleagues between her and Joe when they had to work together. It didn't really matter anymore, but inquiring minds want to know.

"I'm sorry, but I have to know. Were you and the ass ever together when working on your assignments together?" I finally blurted out during my second slice of pizza.

Terry looked startled for a minute. "Yes. But only when he swore you two had broken up. But I'm not sure how much I trust his version of events now."

I hung my head. "We were on and off a lot, but not all the times that you guys were working together."

Terry looked royally pissed. "Stephanie, I'm so sorry. I honestly thought the two of you had broken up. He would talk about us being together but then he kept going back to you. I love him, probably always will, but I can't handle being a piece on the side. That's why I got divorced. I caught my ex-husband cheating. And I would never knowingly do that to another woman."

I nodded. "Thank you. And for what it's worth, I don't blame you. We did break up a lot, and you wouldn't have had any way to know if we were on or off."

By mutual unspoken accord, we stopped talking about Joe. Instead, we simply chatted and got to know each other. We actually had a lot in common, which surprised the hell out of me. I think we could actually be friends if we could get the Joe animosity out of the way.

Just as we were finishing lunch, Lester and Bobby strolled in, probably to check on me.

Lester Santos was one of my best friends at RangeMan. Heck, he's one of my best friends, period. He's a tall, built and smoking hot half Latino man with spiked, brown hair and jolly green eyes. He's also Ranger's cousin.

Bobby Brown is the RangeMan medic and he has more knowledge of my body than anyone other than my gynecologist. He comes by this naturally since he's patched me up more times than I can count. He's also tall, built and smoking hot, but with dark brown skin and serious brown eyes. Bobby's also a great friend.

"Hey, Beautiful," Les said as he plopped down next to me. "How's it hanging?"

"Hey Les. Nothing on me hangs, thank you very much, but I'm okay," I retorted with a smile as he leaned over plant a smacking kiss right on my lips.

"Heard that an officer needed assistance in Pino's," Les said with a grin. "So we thought we'd help."

"You here to help the officer or the assailants?" I asked.

Les just grinned big. "Haven't decided yet."

I shook my head. "Do you guys know Terry Gilman?" I asked. They knew of her, but they hadn't met her, so I did the introductions.

"May I join you?" Bobby asked politely as he stood next to Terry. She nodded and he sat down next to her. See, a man with manners. They do exist, just like Santa.

"So what's up guys?" I asked again.

"Connie's phone was ringing off the hook when we went by to drop off some body receipts, and she told us what happened. We just wanted to check on you," Les said as he slung an arm around my shoulder.

Aww, these big, badasses are teddy bears at times. "I'm fine. Or at least I will be," I told them as I melted against Les.

He kissed the top of my head. "Want us to have a chat with him?"

I snorted. That was code for beating the holy shit out of him. "Tempting, but I think Terry and I put the fear of God in him already, so it should be good."

"How'd you do that?" Bobby asked.

"Simple. We're here together, in full view of all the Burg. So now he's living in fear of what we might say or do, or what Terry's Uncle Vito might do," I told him. "How would you react if two of your exes started hanging out?"

Bobby smirked at me and Lester grinned. "Beautiful, we don't have exes," Les said with waggling eyebrows.

"Alright, Romeo, then if two of your one night stands got together. And then looked at you. And then laughed loudly and for a long time. What would you think?" I tried again.

"That I was just leaving joy and happiness in my wake?" Les said with a flirtatious grin. "Want to be joyful and happy?" he asked in a rumbly, sexy voice as he leaned over to nuzzle my neck.

I rolled my eyes and even Terry shook her head. "You're not right. Seriously, there is something wrong with you on so many levels."

Bobby laughed and Terry looked slightly shell shocked at the smile on his face. Yeah, my Merry Men were hot.

Once they were reassured that I was doing okay, they both pulled me into a hug and left.

"Shit, Stephanie, what the hell were you doing with Joe when you had those guys around?" Terry asked.

I grinned. "Those two are both players and a half. Hot as hell but they're with a different girl every night. And I'm just not wired that way," I explained.

She considered that for a minute. "But what a night it would be!"

I laughed. I'm sure she was right.

"What about their boss, Ranger? Joe always complained about him."

"Also not relationship material," I told her flatly.

Her eyes softened with sympathy. "I see." And I figured she did.

She got a call and had to go then, but not before surprising the hell out of me by hugging me. "We should do this again sometime. Keep ourselves strong," she suggested.

I nodded. "Sure. Just give me a call."

She nodded and then was gone, her Chanel No. 5 lingering behind her.

I left with my head held high and a smile on my lips. That would really disconcert the gossips.

I spent the next five weeks settling into a routine. I got up, went to work, chased skips and went home. Lather, rinse and repeat.

If I called Ranger for help, he rarely answered the phone and texted back that someone was on the way. It was never him. I hadn't even had a real conversation since Joe left, and it was pissing me off. Did he think I had the damn plague?

Author's note: So what do you think of the beginning? Good, bad or ugly?

You know how much I love reviews, so leave me so love!

Now that I've got my dissertation submitted and I'm just waiting to defend in a week and a half (fingers crossed!), I hope to have more time to write. I hope to be able to update at least once per week.