Romeo and Juliet

Disclaimer- i dont own icarly.

I never thought that I would die so soon. Life is just such a fragile thing and It can be taken away so easily. Life is hard sometimes, and sometimes things happen that you just don't understand. You do stupid things, and when it's all done and you cant take it back you think "Why did I do this?"...

Why did you do it? Say it out loud. That reason seems pretty stupid now doesn't it? DOESN'T IT?

...

"It Does."

~::Romeo and Juliet::~

As the truck hit him, all my walls came crashing down. It just... It happened all too fast. I heard the sirens and people yelling all around me but I couldn't move.

Sam!"

Freddie had just been hit. There was so much blood, and I...

"Sam!" Carly yelled.

She was crying. Her eyed widened when she saw my face, so I guess she knew to just let me be... and she did.

My face was probably swollen and red from me crying.

By the time I was actually able to process what was happening I was already in an ambulance car and all I could hear was the sound of Freddie's violent coughing, and the EMT telling him to stay strong.

I thought that not looking at him would stop me from crying, but no. I hadn't even realized how hard I was crying. Why did this always have to happen to me? I was only nine years old when the old man with the tattoo saying "убийца" forced me to watch him stab my dad repeatedly, and now I just saw the guy who Ive loved for a long time now get hit by a truck.

Suddenly the "WEE WOO" of the ambulance stopped, and Freddie's body rolled out on the gurney.

I ran with them as far as I could. I banged on the double doors! I kicked it! I banged and kicked the doors repeatedly until a large man picked me up, but I continued to bang and kick on him. "I want to see him!" I sobbed.

I know." The nurse said. My head sprang up!

"What the hell do you know?" I yelled.

"You don't know shit!" I yelled.

I had so many feelings inside of me, and I let the wrong ones out. I could tell from the look of her face looked she was hurt. I knew she was just trying help me, but I just can't think right now.

I loved Freddie so much. Hes been there for me, since I don't even know but I have always so cruel to him. I haven't deserved to live on as long as i have. Im a bad person.

I'm so sorry." I said to the nurse.

I started breathing heavily. It was almost as if my hart skipped a beat. Then it happened again, and I was on the floor.

...

I woke up to a light shining in my eye. OW! I pushed what I expected to be a hand holding a flashlight away, but then I realized there was nothing there.

"Oh Good you're awake." I heard a familiar voice say to me.
I pulled myself up from the bed i was on, but i didn't expect to see what i saw.

It was white everywhere. I wasn't in a room, there were no creases anywhere. It looked as if I was in giant gleam of light.

"You fell pretty hard" I heard the voice say again.

OMIGOD! "Freddie?"

"Wow, its been a while since I heard you call me by my NAME." Freddie said.

"But you were just hit by a truck!"

He smiled that crooked smile.

Then it hit me.

"Are we dead?" I asked.

"Not yet." He said.

And then I woke up to a light shining in my eye once again.

"Oh Good you're awake." A doctor said to me. "You almost scared me."

"What Happened?"

"You started hyperventilating." He said.

Oh that's not that bad. Everything is fine then, but then once again it hit me.

"WHERE'S FREDDIE?" I yelled.

He just stared at me, but i knew what that stare meant.

"He's dead isn't He?"

My heart stopped.

"No."

Oh thank God. I thought I had lost him, but the doctor wasn't finished.

"But he will be by the end of the day."

You know when people say their heart stopped but they just saying it, kind of like how I just did? No this time my heart literally stopped.

...

This time I woke up and Carly was asleep at the bottom of my feet. I was in a hospital bed, and I saw my heart monitor and heard it too.

I knew what I had to do. I took out the IV thingy that monitored my heart and stuck it into Carly's arm. If I hadn't done that they would have known i took it was out and my heart monitor would have indicated them my heart stopped.

I found his room. He looked so fragile. His mom was asleep on the chair near the window.

I walked over to him and his eyes popped open.

"What are you doing here?"

"Freddie. I sobbed.

" Why are yo crying, you hate me anyways"

He really thought I hated him! OMIGOD! He thought I hated him.

"Shut up!" I yelled. "The sound of your voice kills me!"

"Sam why do you always have to pick on him?" Carly yelled.

"We are 18 for heavens sake!" She said. "Grow the hell up!"

"Why are you..."

"Don't even talk! She yelled. once more. "Let's just cross the street in effing peace."

I had never heard Carly that mad before.

As we crossed the street me and Freddie had one more glance at each other. "I hate you" I said and I walked faster.

I hadn't noticed what was happening until I heard the sirens and people yelling all around me.

If hadn't tried to catch to me, he would still be alive. This was my fault.

"Freddie I'm so sorry!"

He coughed. "Why did you always have to bring me down?" I could hear the sadness in his voice. "The words you said to me on a daily basis (he coughed again) left bruises that would never fade away. Why?"

"I don't know."

"How could someone do the things you've done to me and not know why?" He asked." You know when people aren't around us, you're nice. That's when you really you. That's the person I feel something for."

I had no voice. I did not have the ability to use my vocal chords anymore.

...

I swallowed and I took his hands in mine.

"I have feelings for you too." I pleaded.

I was crying now. Harder.

What happened next I was not prepared for.

I was waiting for him to ask something like " really?" and I would be like "Yes I Truly do."

And then we'd kiss and he'd get better and everything would be okay again.

Nope. All I heard was the sound of his heart failing. BEEEEEEEEP!

Funny, because in the movies they never show you how much pain the person really goes through when they really loose someone. No one will ever be able to show it to you, or prepare you. EVER.

I sat there for a second doing nothing. I could feel my heart racing and my body twitching. Slowly I rolled up my sleeves only revealing my mutilated scars.

My mom beats me on a daily basis. She starves me, and calls me names. My sister hates me more than I imagined. I spend everyday at my best friends house, and she will and would never admit how much it annoys her. Now that the boy i loved was gone, what did I have to live for?

I pulled the pocket knife out of my boot and twirled it around and before I could even have second thoughts. There was an 8 inch knife inside of me. Pierced right into my lung.

Want to know something else that is funny though?

In the movies they never show what happens the girl after she kills herself for her supposedly lover. You'd think she'd see the light and be in heaven with whom she killed herself for, right?

...Wrong.

All i see now is darkness.

Revelation 21:8

But as for the cowardly, the faithless, the detestable, as for murderers, the sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars, their portion will be in the lake that burns with fire and sulfur, which is the second death."

A/N- PLEASE REVIEW.